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The 12 Most Ridiculous Things You Can Buy on Hermès’ Website Right Now

When I really sit down and think about it, it seems like being very wealthy would be, among other things, super weird. It would be great in a lot of ways, of course–for instance, I could command someone to grill me a medium-rare steak for lunch, and I would surely enjoy that. As it is, though, the best way to thought-experiment your way into what it’s like to be wealthy is probably to take a deep-dive into the rabbit hole of Hermès‘ online store.

If I had to guess, I’d wager that most people shopping on Hermès’ site stick to the edited selection of silks, jewelry, small leather goods and not-as-rare-as-a-Birkin handbags. If you really start looking around, though, you can find all kinds of interesting ways in which the rich spend their money, including a fairly wide selection of customizable saddles; Hermès is one of many brands that draws inspiration from equestrian roots, but it’s one of very few that still manufacture functional riding and stable gear for the horsey set.

If you go even further, you find a selection of small gifts and housewares so incongruously expensive that it can be difficult imagining being rich enough to buy them, even if you live a very comfortable life. Below, check out some of our favorite Hermès oddities.

[Editor’s Note: This PurseBlog Classic post was originally published on July 1, 2015.]

Hermès Silk Scarf Hanging System
$630 via Hermès

You only have one neck, and lemme tell ya: that’s a bummer. Among other things, it means you can only wear one Hermès silk scarf at a time. Hermès knows how fond you are of your other scarves, though, and this handy-dandy hardware kit lets you make them into home decor. It’s like IKEA for people with yachts.

Hermes-Silk-Scarf-Hanging-System

Hermès Saddle Storage Box
$445 via Hermès

The most fascinating thing about this item is that the product description says it’s made out of cardboard, which the company appears to have gone to great pains to disguise as metal.

Hermes-Saddle-Storage-Box

Hermès Mises Et Relances Playing Card Holder
$740 via Hermès

This double-deck card holder doesn’t come with playing cards, but it does come with an important capitalistic message: nothing in life is free.

Hermes-Mises-Et-Relances-Playing-Card-Holder

Hermès Les 4 Mondes Playing Cards
$170 via Hermès

If you want to fill your card holder, you’ll need two decks. Maybe invite some of your rich friends over and try to win back the money at poker.

Hermes-Les-4-Mondes-Playing-Cards

Hermès Hermy Cravache Plush Horse
$1,000 via Hermès

It’s important to know that it took me a few minutes to decide which Hermès stuffed horse was the most worthy of inclusion on this list; the brand offers several for sale.

Hermes-Hermy-Cravache-Plush-Horse

Hermès Leather Cup Holder
$390 via Hermès

If you catch anyone with one of these complaining about the cost of a latte, feel free to slap the drink out of his or her hands.

Hermes-Leather-Cup-Holder

Hermès Clickazoo Leather Elephant
$560 via Hermès

On the other hand: at least the cup holder serves a functional purpose.

Hermes-Clickazoo-Leather-Elephant

Hermès Lift Christmas Ornament
$345 via Hermès

Tinsel is for plebes.

Hermes-Lift-Christmas-Ornament

Hermès Chaine d’Ancre Silk Scarves Box
$5,750 via Hermès

If I’ve learned anything today, it’s that wealthy people need multiple silk storage solutions.

Hermes-Chaine-d'Ancre-Silk-Scarves-Box

Hermès Filou Glove Clip
$355 via Hermès

It would be hilarious to use these with, like, a pair of home-knitted polka dot mittens.

Hermes-Filou-Glove-Clip

Hermès Ex-Libris Book Mark
$370 via Hermès

In order to buy this, you have to sign a waiver indicating that you will only use it with books that have that fancy gold stuff on the page edges.

Hermes-Ex-Libris-Book-Mark

Hermès Drig Headphone Winder
$205 via Hermès

I’ve spent a long time looking at this thing, and I can’t figure out what the hole in the middle is for. There are some other things I can’t figure out, of course, but that’s among them.

Hermes-Dring-Headphone-Winder

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