I have a really vast handbag collection by this point. When we started PurseBlog over 12 years ago, I slowly started to build my bag closet, and while in the past couple years I’ve slowed down on my bag shopping and tried to make purchases that make more sense, I still own hundreds of bags. Not every single one is Chanel or Hermès—there are plenty of contemporary designers included—but it is quite the collection. And because people know what I do, they ask to borrow bags fairly often.
Sometimes I’ve said yes, only to have to ask for that specific bag back for weeks on end, reminding me that person will never get to use one of my bags again. Sometimes I just say no, as politely as possible, but is there really a polite way to tell someone you don’t feel like sharing? I have not had many people directly ask to borrow one of my nicest bags (I take that back—someone asked for one of my limited edition Bottega Veneta Knot Clutches, to which I said no), but I get asked here and there.
I contemplate about sharing a lot now that I have Millie. We are primed to teach our kids that they are supposed to share, but I’ve confided with some of my mom friends that while I do agree with sharing as a whole, I also don’t believe our kids always have to share their favorite toy either. What makes it different when I’m an adult and tell someone I don’t want to share my favorite bag than when a kid says they don’t want to share their favorite item? That’s a long conversation, I am sure some of you will have thoughts!
But back to the bags. In college I used to share clothes with my roommates often, and typically it turned out well. I can’t think of many times that someone I shared with ruined an item I owned, and most of my clothes were not incredibly expensive, so it didn’t hurt me as much to share.
But designer handbags are different. We all know that, and our friends who ask to borrow know that, too. They cost a lot of money, many of them are thousands of dollars each, and do we want to get into the conversation of ‘if you ruin this bag, it’s on you to fix it’? I don’t want to, but I also don’t want to skip sharing entirely. There are a handful of friends who I know would replace a bag right away if something happened to it while they were using it, but there are many others with whom I don’t know what the outcome would be, and I always rather avoid making an issue with a friend that never even needed to be an issue. Sharing a bag falls into that category for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m super crazy about my bags and I clearly know there are far more important things to life than a handbag, but I also prefer to avoid drama, and this is one of those situations that seems like it wouldn’t be drama, but could easily become drama.
What about you—do you share your designer bags with friends?