Jimmy Choo Solar Studded Hobo, $1795 via Neiman Marcus

I warned y’all this was going to happen, so don’t say that I didn’t.

In fact, I warned you back in May that Jimmy Choo seemed intent on foisting the Jimmy Choo Solar Studded Hobo on the fashion world, and it took a little longer than we (or the company, probably) anticipated to get here, but did you use that time to prepare yourself? To prepare your eyes to view…this? I bet you didn’t.

Pictures of this bag were originally released with the Fall 2011 collection, so I’m not sure why it’s showing up on the Neiman Marcus arrivals page now, just when Spring 2012 is hitting stores, but I’m going to give everyone involved the benefit of the doubt by assuming that someone actually thought better of making this bag available for sale. I don’t know if it was the brand, the store or some crafty intern somewhere down the line who misdirected this shipment in a heroic bid to save us all, but like that bug that just can’t be effectively squashed, this design has lept out from behind a piece of furniture to terrify us.

Ok, so I’m being a little dramatic, but this thing is hideous. It’s not even a design, really. It’s just a plain leather hobo with a bunch of crap stuck to it in a seemingly random assortment, and the only person I can imagine having real affection for it is someone who considers themselves a hardcore astrology buff. And if you do, well, here’s your bag. I hope you’re happy. Buy through Neiman Marcus for $1795.

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