When we selected October 10th as National Handbag Day 7 years ago, we weren’t aware that today is also World Mental Health Day. Last year, I read some comments on social media of people thinking we were trying to take away from a far more worthy cause, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. There is a place for both of these to be celebrated, and in some ways I find they intersect, hear me out.
World Mental Health Day is an incredibly important day, and hopefully with more people hearing about it and bringing it to the forefront, we will continue to de-stigmatize the discussion of the importance of mental health and mental health treatment. This year’s W.M.H. Day is supported by the World Health Organization (WHO), the International Association for Suicide Prevention, and United for Global Mental Health. Every 40 seconds, someone loses their life to suicide. When it comes to mental health struggles, the best option is to talk to a trusted health care professional to decide the best course of action. But it is also important that when you are on your right path and plan, whatever that may entail, that you take time for yourself to spend time doing things that make you happy and fulfill you.
I’m not claiming that spending time researching, obsessing, and purchasing designer handbags is going to fix anything, but it’s important to celebrate the small, fun things in life while we deal with the larger, more complicated aspects of our lives as well. Finding a safe place online, with like-minded individuals, can only help to make you feel included and welcomed. It’s why we are always striving for commenters on to be nice to one another even if they disagree, and it’s why we’ve had the strictly-followed policy of being kind to others for nearly 15 years on our PurseForum. The rest of our lives can be so hard, let’s turn this into a safe escape.
To many, a designer handbag can be seen as a superfluous, expensive item.
But my handbag is so much more to me.
I’ve touched on this multiple times, but my bag is an extension of me; a vessel for some of the most important things in my life, and ultimately it’s my security blanket.
From a young age, I’ve had anxiety. Not a little worry here or there, but debilitating, crippling anxiety. The kind of anxiety that left me physically ill on the way to school for weeks at the start of a school year. I remember vividly crying on my way to school to the point of throwing up, and my mom encouraging me with the most empathetic, loving, and sad eyes. I started therapy young to help cope with my separation anxiety which started after we lost our house in Hurricane Andrew. Therapy has always been a big part of my life, at different times needing to go multiple times a week and other times as a check in. Bouts of intense anxiety have ruled my life at different points and one of the worst times for me was after we moved to NYC.
My anxiety reached peak levels to the point where leaving the apartment sent me into a full blown panic attack. I needed help, and even with years of therapy and a very open-minded, supportive, and loving family, I felt shame admitting how bad it was. At that point, medication and therapy is what helped me and I will forever be grateful for it. I gained my life back, I started to enjoy the craze of NYC life.
But you know what has always been one of my biggest helpers when it comes to my anxiety? My handbag.
My bag is my constant companion that gives me comfort. It holds every little thing that helps ground me, provides me with comfort, and overall calms me to know that I have the items I may need. I carry a prescription in my bag for anxiety medication in case I have a panic attack. I can’t tell you the last time I used it, but knowing that I have it just in case has always offered reassurance. My inhaler goes with me everywhere even though I haven’t had to use it since I was pregnant with Millie.
Vlad often pokes fun at me for carrying it, as my asthma is a non-issue, but for me it provides some control over a possible situation that has always frightened me. You’ll always find me with a water bottle in my bag and though it’s heavy, when I start to feel anxiety build and my whole body feels warm, sometimes a few sips of water can help calm me.
Snacks? Oh, I have them. I used to panic over the thought of being trapped in an elevator (and I rode many elevators in NYC), so my snack was always an item that I thought I needed. An Emergen-C in case I feel weak, yep, have that too. And since having kids who both unfortunately have food allergies, I always have their Epi-Pens and Benadryl. You see, I know I could get away without carrying majority of these items on a daily basis, but I don’t want to. I like the feeling of knowing that my bag will ‘protect’ me and my kids (their items are actual life savers), and if having that feeling is enough to help get me through some of my harder anxiety ridden days, I’ll take it.
Of course, my bags carry happy items too. For majority of each of my pregnancies, I always had a sonogram or two in my bag. When I would open my bag to look for an item, that little black and white image of Millie and Vaughn brought me such joy. A notebook to jot down ideas for work and life comes with me often as does a polaroid or two of the kids. Each of my bags hold a special memory for me, either to events I carried them to or how I came about adding that bag to my collection.
I discovered my love for bags at a young age and bags quickly became an extension of me and my personal style. I, like everyone, went through phases where I was less secure with my looks and body, and my bag always seemed to help me feel a bit better about myself. I felt more put-together and happy that my bags are able to offer that finishing touch that overall makes me feel a bit happier. When we started PurseForum, I found a community of men and women who have been some of the most supportive people, many turned friends, over the past nearly 15 years. And many other members have found the same. There are still group meetups in different parts of the world, with members spending a day eating, shopping, and talking together with one common thread: designer handbags.
Surface level, many people scoff at us as luxury bag lovers. You’ve heard it too, I’m sure.
‘What a waste of money’ they say.
Sure, to them it may be, but to me it brings me happiness on more levels than many assume. My bag of course is meant to carry items with me from point A to point B, but it serves a greater purpose too, as does this community we are all a part of. So today, on National Handbag Day and World Mental Health Day, I want to take a moment to say thank you to all of you, for making my life better, partaking in this long journey, and helping create a piece of the internet that feels safe for all of us. This business, this community, and these bags have helped me in many ways and for that, I am a better, happier person.
Thank you so much Megs and Vlad for starting and maintaining this community of like-minded bag lovers. It’s not by accident that PB and PF have endured over the years — the passion and kindness of the blog runners as well as the vast majority of PF members makes this a wonderful place in so many ways!
I looked forward to my daily PB browse every work day for YEARS now, and know many many others do too! Happy National Handbag Day!
Thank you so much for the kind words and having PB be a part of your daily routine! We always count ourselves so lucky to have so many of you to chat with and have here with us. We love what we do, and I love being able to share a bit of our lives with you all too!
So many feels reading this Megs. And it’s so relatable for me too. Thank you for sharing something so personal!
Of course, happy it was something that you could relate to 🙂
Hi Megs,
I have been reading Purseblog more than a decade ago and have seen the site (and company) grown and how your family has also grown. Every day is for remembrance of something and even though National Handbag Day & World Mental Health falls on the same day, the significance does not diminish either events. Every one has the right to go with what they like and have a close linkage with. For me would be handbags.
Keep it all going and we look forward to more posts….
Cheers from a fan/reader downunder…
Thank you for the kind words! I do think it’s special what we have here, all of us coming together to celebrate something we love that brings us joy, and for that I am always thankful!
I enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing!
Glad you liked it!
Ah Megs. The post AND that pic <3
Glad you like the post… and the pic! Going to start doing monthly posts of my bag and what’s inside 🙂
LOVE THAT- can’t wait!!
So moving… and so relatable…
My bag is my security blanket too, and PB is a daily breath of fresh air to me…
Sending love from France, where I celebrated Handbag Day too!
So glad reading here is a breath of fresh air for you – that has ALWAYS been our goal!!
Thank you for sharing your personal story and connection to our affinity of handbags ??
Of course! I know we all have our own reasons why we love bags, and I found it important to share as there is so much more to all of us and our bags than what it seems to many!
This really hit home. My husband doesn’t understand my love of handbags and I’ve even questioned it myself sometimes. But I also struggle with anxiety and when I was a teenager it was crippling. My self image was the worst and I think sometimes I used them to help bolster my opinion of myself. Now I’ve grown to appreciate the brand and quality of these luxury handbags and they are my guilty pleasure. I also look forward to losing myself in PF after a long day at work. Great article!
I SO can relate! My bag is my survival kit. It contains everything from snacks to entertainment to umbrella to warm accessories like gloves and scarf to bandaids and medicine. It doesn’t matter what the weather turns into or if I, a family member or a coworker gets a booboo or feels sick – I have the help right in my purse. My bag makes me feel like I can handle any situation and I feel stronger and calmer because of it.
There’s a WIMB thread on thePF, please share the contents of your bags there! The more bags’ contents we get to see, the better value the thread can also offer to those doing research on future purchases. =)
This post is so relevant and needed to be written. Thank you <3
Consider that it’s NOT the bag itself that relieves your anxiety but the association with the contents that provides relief. Many of us suffer from anxiety and other mental illnesses. Yoga, meditation, therapy and learning to let go of that nagging feeling that “I’m carrying this expensive designer bag so at least no one can criticize my sartorial taste” is a great first step to building enough self-esteem that you don’t CARE what name is plastered on the bag that lugs around your carefully curated comforting contents.
I think you’ve not only missed what my point was, but you’re diminishing what I’ve said and what I’ve experienced. Of course it’s not the bag that relieves my anxiety, it IS the contents inside. It’s also far deeper than what I’d ever be able to put into words in one single blog post and has been years of therapy and reflecting and constantly changing what it is I do and how I ‘talk to myself’ to get to the place I am today.
I don’t carry a designer bag so “no one can criticize my sartorial taste”. Hell, if you saw what I was wearing right now, no designer bag would help this look! Ha. But I do find that with a nicer bag, I feel better about my outfit that sometimes is not as put together as I’d like. But I never once claimed my bag has fixed anything. I think majority of people pick clothes and accessories to wear that they think look nice on them. I don’t think many people open up their drawer/closet and say ‘hey, I’m gonna pick something that looks bad on me today!’. It’s ok for us to want to look nice, and if I, like thousands of others that read here daily, think a bag helps that, so what? In the scheme of life and far more important matters, deciding to carry a nice bag is not hurting anyone – including myself.
This post was not meant to say that a bag will cure anxiety or any mental health problem. I stated clearly that a medical professional is needed and whatever each person’s course of action toward trying to better themselves is up to them and those helping them. I never claimed that yoga, meditation, exercise, or talk therapy are not helpful. I have done them all myself! I am open to anything that helps.
You come off like you are finding fault with what I am saying, and while I put it out there to share and I am fine with your comments, I think comments like yours can make many people feel ashamed. Just because something works for you, does not mean it will work for the next person. Everyone has a journey to take in their life and not all are the same, and not all methods of help work the same for everyone at every time. It is important to not take away from that and judge others so harshly (your comments have come off combative and abrasive, not sure if that was your intention) so that people feel open to express themselves, share, and find the right path for them to get help if they need it.
That’s too bad that you automatically assume that ideas about other ways that just might help you — because they have helped me personally — are denigrating your experience. Re-read the comments – I NEVER said you dismissed those approaches because you didn’t mention them, did I? It comes across as though anyone who doesn’t laud and comfort you for putting yourself out there somehow is dismissing your experience or missed your point. It isn’t, and I didn’t You said yourself that it’s the CONTENTS of your bag that help you. Then that bag could just as easily be a plastic bag from the dollar store if the bag didn’t ALSO matter. Best of luck to you as you mature and heal.
Always trying to mature and heal over here! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I feel that she explained herself very well. She knows what helps to alleviate her crippling anxiety. She also knows what she likes i.e. designer handbags. My sense is she carries them because she likes them and not to build her self esteem or impress anyone. I don’t know Megs, but her posts give the impression that she is very intelligent with great insight into her own issues. It would be important not to provide armchair advice, from you or I, because according to the DSM V this issue it is best treated by professional counseling, medication and daily self help. I also applaud her ability to expose her own vulnerabilities, perhaps in an effort to help others, and/or to normalize the stigma that typically comes from mental health issues. IDK, but I’m glad that she did.
Thank you for saying all of this – and I am glad my post and my past posts have come across to you in an authentic way and how I truly am! I do think it’s important with a platform like this to sometimes open up and share, in an effort to help anyone! 🙂
“My anxiety reached peak levels to the point where leaving the apartment sent me into a full blown panic attack. I needed help, and even with years of therapy and a very open-minded, supportive, and loving family, I felt shame admitting how bad it was.” And a couple of paragraphs later: “I, like everyone, went through phases where I was less secure with my looks and body, and my bag always seemed to help me feel a bit better about myself.” These are Meg’s own words, not mine. “Armchair” analysis? Her own words and the DSM V, which does link self-esteem with anxiety, PTSD, OCD, survivor SHAME and guilt, suggest that the designer bag itself also helps relieve her anxiety. Your suggestions — “… it is best treated by professional counseling, medication and daily self help” — simply mirror many of my own, though I’d add that some of the psych meds are less-than-desirable, given how addictive some psychoactive drugs such as Xanax are and the disconcerting side effects from others! Based on decades of personal experience dealing with GAD, PTSD and other mental health issues, I can assure you that yoga, meditation and therapy are mainstream practice recommendations and DO, indeed, help many patients. And self-esteem issues can very much be a link across all these mental health challenges. Stating so is not a judgment, simply an observation, despite your personal opinion. Cheers.
I LOVED THIS ARTICLE. I suffer from low self esteem and have always thought my appearance was less than par. I enjoyed this article. I have had people make fun of me for saying that my bags (babies) make me feel better. I started at a very young age of two. My mother said I threw my baby dolls out of the buggy and pushed my purses around instead. She has a picture of me. No matter how I feel on any certain day, I fill my bag and head out and it makes me feel stronger. I lost my husband this past January and he always understood my feelings and added to my collection. When he got sick 10 years ago, I had to sell a few to make it through our situation. Yes, I miss my babies but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Besides bing an investment and seeing us through a rough time. The ones I have left, have wonderful memories attached to each as we always picked out my bags together.
Thank you for this wonderful place to share.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband. I can not begin to imagine how hard that has been for you, lots and lots of love.
I’m glad your bag makes you feel stronger! I think that’s the point I was making. Things, like bags, that brings us a bit of joy and help us mean more to us than what many would think. We all have these “things” in our lives, ours just happen to be bags!
Thank you. He was sick for 10 years. He is healthy now and not suffering.
It is the little things in life.
I think most people have “babies” that take different forms. Personally, the only one that understands and loves my handbag collection, as I do, is my grown daughter. I don’t care what anyone thinks about anything that I wear or carry. I carry my bags because I love them and to hell with the rest. You state that you have a low self esteem, but you write with all of the confidence in the world! I appreciate what you wrote! Thank you!
Hi, Megs! This entry truly hits home! My purses are my security blanket, too!
And my obsession with leather purses started when I was about to graduate from uni, thus I was 19-ish. And when I was working I didn’t mind repeating my corporate suits (Ally McBeal-style! Oops, did I just give my age?!) as long as my purses and shoes are close to perfection.
Btw, that Gucci coin purse is adorably cute! ??
Thank you for sharing! And I know, it’s the cutest coin purse ever… I love it!
Thank you very much for the wonderful post about mental health and handbags. I have anxiety with depression and having a beautiful designer handbags. I love my Coach and Dooney very much, and yes, they are my security blanket that helps me to calm down and have some type of relief from the constant worry of anxiety. I haven’t found too many like-minded people who love handbags as much as I do which is a shame. They do not understand as to why I love handbags as much as I do not understand why they adore shoe shopping. Thank you very much for your voice on a subject matter that needs to be addressed.
Thank you so much. I thought I was the only person on earth who found comfort for my anxiety in my bags. I’ve always loved them and love all the things that go inside them. They truly comfort and ground me and I even feel stressed when I travel and have to leave them at home.