Three weeks ago today I received an ominous text message from my older cousin who is an ER physician in New York City. “My advice with coronavirus is be careful with your history”. I stopped what I was doing immediately, stepped outside of the coffee shop I was working in and called her on the phone. I couldn’t have imagined it then, but a mere 5 days later everything she had warned me about was playing out before my eyes.
I have a chronic condition where the lining of my heart becomes inflammed and can fill with fluid if not controlled. I take medication for it and I am mostly fine, but I am one of the vulnerable that we are all hearing about on the news. I’m doing my very best to keep myself protected and part of that meant leaving my apartment in New York City’s Lower East Side neighborhood.
In just a few days time an ominous warning became a real threat and I left NYC for my parents home on Long Island on the morning of March 15th, mere hours before the government closures began. I left and began my civic duty to self-isolate just as the panic had begun to set in. “Pack for 2-3 weeks,” my cousin had advised, and I did just that, bringing with me mostly comfortable clothing, my running sneakers, a couple pairs of jeans and whichever bag was already packed—that happened to be my Gucci Marmont GG Flap Bag.
Leaving my apartment was surreal and incredibly emotionally and something deep inside of me knew that life wouldn’t be the same for awhile. As the news has progressed it’s become incredibly apparent that NYC, which is now the epicenter here in the US, is not safe for me right now. I am much more likely to become exposed to the virus there than I am on Long Island.
Today marks the start of my 3rd week here, the longest stretch I’ve been away from my home since I studied abroad in college. Like most people I’ve had good days and I’ve had bad days. Last week there were more rough patches than there were bright spots though, and I found myself getting upset very easily.
One particular afternoon I started missing my bags. The thought came after reading this piece and being inspired to write a story about my own pieces. It started to set in that I really had no idea when I’d see my bags again and I started to cry. Then I started to laugh-cry that I was really shedding tears over a bunch of handbags but it hit me—sometimes our bags are really more than just ‘stuff’.
It’s the comfort of normalcy that I miss, the calm of a routine, the peace of my own space and surroundings and yes—I miss my bags. I long to carry them again, and I yearn for the day I’m late getting out of my apartment because I must switch up my purse to suit my current mood. And while yes, the simple way I’ve expressed how I’m feeling is that I miss my bags, in a lot of ways my bags are an indicator of just how much things have changed.
It would be remiss of me not to mention how grateful I am to have escaped the epicenter of this crisis in NYC. Despite the lost feeling that’s settling in, I know how lucky I am to be safe when so many others do not have the luxury to leave. And the little reminder I’m saying in my head that I’ll see my bags again soon? That’s my own way of saying this too shall pass.
Lol, girl..
Dear Kaitlyn,
We all miss the comfort of lives as we lived them, mundane as they seemed, it feels like luxury right now. It’s a time to cherish the people in our lives, as we are mandated ? to spend more time with them. It’s an opportunity to connect, if we have let competing priorities get in the way of sharing our love for them. As a full time employed mom working from home, it’s been both a pleasure and struggle to spend every day home, but I am aware that I must do my part. Take care of yourself, we are with you in spirit. May you be reunited with those babies that bring you joy on the crook of your arm soon!
I agree with all of your sentiments! It’s a good opportunity to regroup and reconnect with what truly matters. These days are both a struggle and a blessing depending how you look at it and I’m realizing that’s all ok! These times are unprecedented and it’s ok to feel what we feel. Take care!
I feel this. I know for myself and my friends we use fashion as a form of creative expression and without it, a lot of us are feeling a loss of identity. We are working through it and finding other ways because obviously there are bigger issues at hand but its so funny how we end up missing something that was just apart of our everyday lives. I’m taking this time to do touch ups on my bags, they’ve been a great distraction as its so easy to slip into depression during these times. I think New York being a city social city by nature, has really become almost undone by this pandemic. Its hard to see our favorite spots closed, our favorite shops literally begging for sales, and our little city-made families in fear. I know missing our bags may seem silly, but really its just a symptom of something bigger. For better or worse nothing will be the same, and maybe this is just us grieving our old lives. If you need me you know where to find me, I’m always here, hopefully we can bag again soon!
Yes! Everything feels off and it’s crushing at times to see what’s happening in our city. At a time like this many of us use creativity as on outlet to get by and for us, that’s handbags and fashion. It’s hard to navigate all this and of course missing our handbags may seem silly but it really means that what we’re missing it so much more. Can’t wait until we’re bag-ing it around NYC again soon!
I get this. I’ve been on the hunt for cute but comfortable sandals since the beginning of last summer. With the weather warming up, I’ve renewed my search but I’ve held off buying any because I immediately wonder if I’ll even have an occasion to wear them this summer and then I get sad. Obviously, summer shoe wear is trivial in grand scheme of things. I’m not sad because sandals are life or death. I’m sad because if I don’t have a reason to wear cute, dressy sandals this summer that will mean that life has not returned to any form of normalcy and all of the major things that worry me, such as the health and economic safety of my loved ones, the U.S., and the world in general, have become much, much worse.
I’m glad you understand where I’m coming from and I agree with everything you said!
Be well and here’s to hoping you get to wear those sandals soon aka here’s to wishing for some normalcy and progress towards a healthier (physically and economically) nation and world.
I want to help support retailers right now, desperate for sales, but the likelihood of going anywhere to wear my purchases seems bleak and therefore frivolous and wasteful. I too miss changing my bags and the sense of normalcy it provides. It really is the simple things that sometimes keep us going….
i have to say i completely understand, and wish you wouldn’t feel the need to apologize!! everyone’s very valid anxieties are manifesting in different ways. i feel the same way – i value my bags as it’s a form of self-expression, so in a way, it’s a creative outlet i don’t have right now.
The feeling you are describing is exactly what most of us are all sharing. I live in Seattle and just 3 weeks ago, we were the US epicenter of this disease. What is happening in the world is unprecedented, unpredictable and surreal.
It all feels very bleak at times. Handbags are a huge part of my life, so I totally get what your saying.
I find myself obsessively searching handbag sites, researching what’s new, what’s on sale, and what I might like for my next purchase. It gives me a nice escape and a lot of comfort.
I ordered a new bag that was on “sale” last week because doing so brightened my day a little. The site emailed me that they were offering 40% of everything so I went for it.
I check the tracking in anticipation of its arrival and that familiar thrill we all know; unboxing a beautiful new bag. Then of course I wonder when and where I can actually enjoy it.
I have to really remind and convince myself that this all will pass. We will come out if it changed but stronger. We will be wiser in not taking all the daily things in life for granted. All I can say is Hang In There and be Safe, take it one day at a time and remember that each day that we wake up healthy is a great day.
I did the same thing! I’m expecting a new bag this week, but I keep thinking where will I wear it?
Same to you! We’re all feeling the same thing and that truly does help as well. I appreciate so many kind comments on this post! I was worried that my sentiments would have been misunderstood.
Which bag did you snag? I hope you’ll share some excitement with us!
The shipment of my bag has been delayed, but should arrive on Thursday.
I’m excited to get it of course, but on the other hand, what will I have to look forward to once it arrives? Lol.
Kate Spade had 40% off site wide so I bought the large Margaux Satchel in black pebbled leather.
My company is shut down during this time so I am not working. However, couldn’t resist such a great deal and I’m glad I ordered it. 🙂
Better days are coming and you’ll be happy to have a new bag to carry when they finally arrive!
We do tend to love our “stuff,” no apologies needed! I’m staying at home by myself (I live alone but my guy usually comes over every night and we cook and drink cheap wine or $$$ wine and he hasn’t for a week, trying to take the Q seriously plus the cops are stopping people).
I hope you stay healthy, you did the right thing by leaving the city. Try doing something fun like I did today–I cleaned the little vents in the fan over the oven with a PRECIOUS paper towel wrapped around a chopstick–I tell ya–it was very rewarding to see the greasy brown junk that came off! 🙂
Sounds like a lot of fun!! 😉 Work definitely helps and I am blessed to still be doing so and I’ve been writing a lot of poetry too. Still have yet to pick up the book I brought home with me but hey, maybe tomorrow. Be well!!
To take my mind off of things I shop online for summer clothes. Everyone is completely inundated with this crisis and it’s on t.v. and ppl mostly talk about nothing else. Like everyone, I worry about my family, friends, etc. and always check in, buy and ship anything they could use or need. They are completely capable of taking care of themselves, but I feel better doing something for them. They are my priority and I only want them to be safe and healthy. With that said, I feel sad and overwhelmed by everything. To administer to my mental health, I search for the positive and retail therapy provides a semblance of balance; I have to hope there will be a better future for all of us. If handbags bring you joy then let them bring you joy. Make no apologies for what you miss in your life because we all need normalcy and none of us have it right now.
I get it—there’s a fine line for me between staying involved and it all being too much. I feel overwhelmed too and it happens very easily. For right now we all have to find an escape and joy in the littlest of things no matter what they may be!
Dear Kaitlyn,
I wish you well. I think its time for a reset, especially for the fashion industry. It would be nice to find a silver lining in this crises that no-one can control. Writing for a accessory blog you know more than most how the industry desperately needs to create better quality items that last longer and are investments. We need to rethink as consumers as I feel companies themselves will only ever chase profit. I love how you feel about your bags and its encouraging that they truly more than just items for you, they are a part of your life. I hope you stay safe, Zac
It’s true that this is a pivotal point for the fashion industry and the world as a whole. There’s been a lot of talk about the future of the industry and what brands can do for consumers during this time and moving forward. We’ll see where brands go from here. Be well!
Thank You, Stay safe and stay well.
Oh yes, I completely understand. The lack of normalcy is distinct. I have taken the opportunity to invest in a new bag during this point, as a lot of things have gone by the wayside.
I’m predominantly baking like a crazy person to keep me amused when I’m not working. I’m thankful I can WFH.
Keep safe x
I feel you! I am writing more poetry, catching up on shows, keeping up with my running (solo of course!) and cooking. It’s the little things right now that will help us get by as we try to cope with what has become our new normal. Which bag did you get?!
Thanks! I’ve also started learning Italian! It’s amazing what you think of doing in these circumstances.
Well, Liberty print is a big thing for me – so it was one of the Liberty London cross body bags in their Iphis print. https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/maddox-iphis-canvas-cross-body-bag-R295878006.html?dwvar_000605388_color=50A-TAN&listsrc=Bags#ph=R311631006&start=1
I settled on the tan, as I thought it was pretty and practical.