It’s not often that a bag review requires me to gather my personal technology and a ruler, but the Christian Louboutin Eden Pompom Clutch is clearly a special little bag. Whether you take that to mean special! or “special” is, of course, up to you.

But when my very scientific measuring was done, I found a problem. At its very widest point, this clutch is barely five inches wide. Since it’s a sphere, the width of the clutch starts decreasing immediately as you move away from that narrow point. My phone, a relatively new Blackberry, is four and a half inches tall and almost three inches wide without a case. That’s a problem – smart phones are now more or less de rigueur among people with expendable income, and you certainly have to expend a lot of it to buy this clutch. Sadly, it seems as though never the two shall meet.

From an aesthetic standpoint, I don’t actually have many problems with this clutch. Sure, it’s kind of odd, but I’d rather carry something unexpected like a round clutch than the same basic envelope that every single one of your girlfriends probably pulls out every weekend (or maybe that’s just my girlfriends).

Any aesthetic interest I have in a clutch ends with the inability to pack my phone along for the night, however. I’m a 24-year-old single woman living in a large, at times unsafe city, and a cell phone isn’t a luxury item for me – it’s a necessity. I’ve had one since I could drive, and I’m not going to start leaving it at home in order to carry a (more-than-slightly silly) designer clutch. If you’re on a date and can slip your phone into your boyfriend’s or husband’s pocket, it might work, but I couldn’t see myself spending so much money on a clutch with such severely limited functionality. Buy through Saks for $1195.

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