Pinch yourself again, because this is indeed a handbag from the house of most-of-the-time elegant and toned-down Bottega Veneta. Their spring/summer 2008 bags involve huge splashes of color, funky combinations, and patent metallics!? Yes, they have entered the realm of glossy patent (or as they like to call it ‘liquid stripes’). Sure, it may not exactly be metallic, but the patent gives off such a sheen that the handbag appears to be reflecting a ton of light, which in my eyes makes this a toned down metallic in its own way. Not only did they do this with their handbags, but they did this with the color red. Bright red, not rouge. And even worse, they did it on a handbag that is totally drab, the Bottega Veneta Oversized Intrecciato Tote. This tote features a very beach looking braided handle, that will dig into your shoulder with each wear and force the body of the handbag to flatten out and dull down. But then, under your arm, the bag will refuse to be dull, as it shines and gleams with its bright red and liquid stripes. And then there is the other beach effect, the brass eyelets that the handles are looped through at the top. Again, making the bag hang funny and pull at your arm and shoulder. I’d expect this from a canvas beach bag, or just a cheap bag that can be used at the beach. But nothing from the house of Bottega is cheap, and this handbag is a whopping $2,680 at Net A Porter. I don’t have the heart to label this a fug bag, but I can say that I truly am not liking it.