Jeremy Scott is known for his somewhat flippant regard to both form and function when it comes to designing his zany, exuberant eponymous line, and now that he’s the new creative director of Moschino, we can expect more of the same from the Italian brand. Scott is, in many ways, a perfect for Moschino, a brand that likes the silly and literal as much as any other major fashion line that comes to mind. With all that in mind, I suppose that the Moschino Motorcycle Jacket Bag isn’t all that surprising.

Of course, it is a little surprising when you consider that a jacket is not, in fact, similar to a bag in any way, other than the fact that some jackets include both leather and zippers. (Unless you’re Amish. Then, no zippers.) This bag, which comes from Moschino Pre-Fall 2014 and appeared on Vogue’s Instagram earlier in the week, has both, plus a collar and plenty of shiny silver snaps to hold it down. In a way, it’s also a bit of a clever play on a logo bag; instead of printing the brand’s name directly on the leather somewhere, you can instead see the “jacket’s” interior label peeking through. It’s a piece intended to attract attention to the brand’s new creative direction, and that’s just what it’s doing.

People with too much money and very literal senses of humor will probably love this bag, but that’s not entirely contrary to some of the popular bags we’ve seen pop up over the past year (see: almost anything from Charlotte Olympia). If asked to love it or leave it, I’d definitely be leaving it. How about you?

We might as well go ahead and dub Charlotte Olympia the Queen of the Hyper-Literal Handbag, because I doubt anyone’s going to take her spot anytime soon. She’s done everything from golden-age Hollywood to flakey French baked goods, and now she’s here with a fresh crop of Christmas clutches.

As we learned back in October, designer Charlotte Dellal loves a holiday, and Christmas is rife with inspiration for funny little bags. This year, in addition to a reissue of last year’s Christmas Pudding Pouch, we’ve got gingerbread women, reindeer and a lil’ sprig of holly atop Dellal’s popular Pandora clutch. (The closure is usually a spider.) Check ‘em out below.

By now, you’ve probably heard that Hunger Games: Catching Fire went over like gangbusters at the theaters over the long weekend and set all kinds of records for November releases. Because the Hunger Games is partially set in a world of stunning opulence, fashion has come to figure rather prominently in the movie’s visuals, landing costume designer Trish Summerville lots of attention and a movie-inspired capsule collection at Net-a-Porter. Naturally, when the collection launched, we went straight to the bags and found…the Capital Couture by Trish Summerville Belt Bag?

The story’s main character, Katniss Everdeen, is an unlikely heroine who’s forced to compete for her life in a dystopian battle royale that pits her against representatives from the other territories in her country. Katniss is from the poorest area, and she uses her skills as an archer to survive. In that context, a rugged, hands-free belt bag would make a lot of sense; I’m just not sure it makes sense in any other context, particularly the context of luxury fashion. I’d have been more interested to see a handbag designed in the image of a Capitol resident like Effie Trinket, with her over-the-top tastes and highly detailed ensembles. Of course, a bag like that would probably just come out looking like any normal Dolce & Gabbana piece.

Pick up this belt bag for all your sporting and survival needs at Net-a-Porter for $225.

Depending on your feelings about Halloween, right now is either the most wonderful or most terrible time of the year. Personally, I love it – scary movies, candy, black clothing, what’s not to like? Apparently, Charlotte Olympia feels the same way, because the brand has released two cute-as-can-be Halloween clutches. In Charlotte Olympia tradition, they are, of course, quite literal. Designer Charlotte Delal has built her brand on creating what are basically the high-fashion equivalents of the tacky Christmas sweater, after all. (Not necessarily a criticism!)

Dellal’s Halloween capsule includes two clutches, one for lovers of the brand’s most hyper-thematic pieces and another for those of us who like a little bit more balance. If you’re the former, come on down for, you guessed it, a big ol’ smiling suede Jack-o-lantern clutch. If you’re the latter, a black Pandora clutch with a lady vampire’s red-lipstick’d mouth should do the trick. I’d carry the vamp clutch year-round, personally – it’s not so obviously Halloween-tied that it couldn’t be fun and cheeky after the holiday has passed.


Charlotte Olympia Sucker for Pandora Clutch
$1,565 via Net-a-Porter

Charlotte Olympia Sucker for Pandora Clutch

Charlotte Olympia Boo Pumpkin Suede Clutch
$595 via Net-a-Porter

Charlotte Olympia Boo Pumpkin Suede Clutch

It’s been several months since I wrote about the Fendi Fur Monster Bag Charm, and I’m still sort of obsessed with it. I never counted myself as the kind of person who would buy an expensive, non-functional doohickey to adorn my already expensive, probably only semi-functional handbag, and yet, I’d gladly trot around with one of those little fuzzy rascals on my bag. Perhaps helpfully, the charms sold out at Neiman Marcus long ago, so I’m not even vaguely tempted to purchase one for myself, despite the fact that last week’s Instagram roundup reignited my love all over again.

If $700 for what is essentially a keychain still sounds like a lot for a keychain (it still does for me), nearly four grand for the similarly themed bag probably isn’t going to sound more reasonable, but rationality is obviously not the reason anyone buys luxury monsters. In fact, all the purchases of this Fendi product family were likely inspired by the exact opposite. If you have that kind of money to splash around on your sense of humor, more power to you – I’m sure you’re sending some Italian artisan’s kid to college as we speak. Buy through Matches for $3,915.

Despite the fact that Women’s Wear Daily claims that what you see above is Hermes’ first-ever bicycle, we know that’s not exactly true – we’ve covered the Hermes bike in the past, and there’s one currently on sale at Hermes.com for $4,650. Still, any new Hermes goodies are notable Hermes goodies in our book.

After all, who wouldn’t love to tool around the cobblestone streets of the West Village (or, you know, Paris) atop the Le Flâneur d’Hermès or the Le Flâneur Sportif d’Hermès, the two different models in which this bike will be made? The cycles, which will come in red, white or grey, are handmade in France (they’re Hermes, so, of course) and feature bull calf leather at the seat, handlebars, carry handles and luggage rack supports. The bike’s body, on the other hand, will be a lightweight carbon fiber.

Apparently Hermes wants this bike to be something people actually ride and use, and, admittedly, it looks a lot more like a functional bike than what Hermes is already carrying. It’s also going to be significantly more expensive – when this bike debuts in Hermes stores in November, it’ll retail for $10,750. Nice timing, Hermes – just in time for the holiday shopping season.

It’s been de rigueur for young, edgy, look-at-me designers to make handbags out of stuffed animals for several years now. Some veer toward the cute (Mandy Coon and her bunny rabbit), some veer toward the strange (Giles Deacon and his triceratops), and now the Christopher Raeburn Quilted Water Rat Shoulder Bag takes a turn for the decidedly, purposefully grotesque.

As revolting as the thought of a rat is to most people (especially New Yorkers), the sight of a pink rat (shaved? skinned? who knows.) strikes me as particularly nauseating. On this bag, the Xed eyes give the distinct impression that this little critter, although made of nylon, is intended to invoke a dead rat, and a dead swimming rat at that. The mere idea of a water rat is enough to keep me out of lakes and ponds for the duration, even though I’m not 100% certain that’s their natural habitat. I’d rather not find out, and these days I’m afraid to Google anything that might bring up less-than-pleasant photos, lest I find myself bombarded with this bag’s real-life inspiration.

A bag this odd requires reader input, as far as I’m concerned, so kindly pick an adjective and place it in the comments. If you’re looking for an expensive way to freak out your nieces and impress your nephews, pick up this bag for $328 via Matches.

Ok, so I’m going to level with you here. It’s Friday, it’s the end of summer, and I just wanted a reason to post the above hilarious picture of a Manhattan woman carrying her Brussels Griffon in what can only be described as a camouflage (on trend!) crossbody pup-sling. The picture appeared in the New York Post yesterday and caused me to laugh for approximately a full minute. The accompanying article doesn’t include any information about the woman or her dog, but there’s just so much going on in that little dude’s face. (I’ve decided he’s a dude.)

Before I moved to NYC a couple of years ago, I never understood the allure of carrying your dog in a bag. Dogs are heavy, and even the tiniest ones start to feel heavier after a while. Plus, they have legs! They have legs and they walk. Now that I’m here, though, I get it. Sometimes they don’t walk in the right direction, and when people are moving quickly on a crowded sidewalk, a dog suddenly stretching his leash across the flow of traffic (something dogs are wont to do) to dart after a bodega cat is a hazard waiting to happen. Also, even small dogs have to be inside a bag or carrier to board the subway, so if you have a small one, you might as well just get an oversized purse and be done with it. One less bag to carry.

I’m not an expert, though – I’ve never had a dog that weighed less than a sturdy eight-year-old child, so dog-bag decisions are not a decision with which I’ve ever had to contend. Do you carry your pup in your purse? If so, do you have a special bag for dog days, or do you just plop that lil’ nugget into your designers bags with confidence?

[Image via the New York Post]

I don’t remember exactly the words that ran through my mind when I saw the Kotur Mr. Minaudiere Clutch, but it was something along the lines of, “So. It’s come to this.” I don’t know when pop culture collectively decided that it would be hilarious to put disembodied mustaches on everything, but from twee ModClotch mustache-print dresses to people who actually have a cartoon mustache tattooed on the side of their index finger so it’s just absolutely hilarious when they hold it up to their top lip, this has got to stop.

The back of the bag has a little tophat sitting on a cloud on it, which is a pretty clear reference surrealism in general and the art of René Magritte in particular, which, in a way, makes this one of the more excusable examples of the bizarre mustache trend, but still. No. I’m not having it. We’re too late in the game for mustache fashion to take on some kind of intelligent form – that ship has sailed, and now everything just puts us one step closer to living in an actual episode of Portlandia.

I’m also a bit skeeved out by the fact that this mustache isn’t just a print – it’s actual hairs. Hairs of what kind, I’m not sure, but they kind of look like pubes on the Net-a-Porter zoom-in feature. Under normal circumstances, I’m a huge fan of Kotur, and I even appreciate the fact that they’re trying something risky here. I’m just not sure the risk pays off. If you disagree, you can pick up this bag for $650 via Net-a-Porter.

Karl Lagerfeld’s Chanel is never a bad place to find inspiration, and the Alexander Wang Objects Collection, with its all-black aesthetic and irreverent elevation of everyday consumer objects, pretty clearly found its beginning in Lagerfeld’s periodic release of similar pieces. He is, of course, the master of such things – who couldn’t picture Unkle Karl smirking through a game of ping pong with a Chanel-branded paddle, eschewing all others as demodé? I’m not sure whether Alex Wang plays poker with his branded cards, but somewhere, some cooler-than-thou downtown denizen thinks they’re hilarious. And that’s all that really matters.

Because of the popularity of products like these with brands like Chanel and Louis Vuitton (although Vuitton’s are generally much-coveted gifts given to VIPs instead of purchasable products), I’ve done a good bit of thinking about who might actually buy them, and with those designers, it seems most likely that they’re regular customers of the brand who look at them as trophy pieces to cap off a collection. Because of Wang’s price point, though, and the price point of these pieces (only one, a leather teddy bear, is over $150, and most are $75 or less), they might also be a way to hook in new, aspirational customers looking for a piece of the Alexander Wang pie. If you can’t afford a pair of leather pants right now, why not a little decorative object to put on your dresser for a fifth of the price? If that sounds like you, shop the full selection via Alexander Wang or check out some of the most interesting pieces below.

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