I generally have no patience for a three-part reunion, and last night’s first installment of the Real Housewives of Orange County Season 8 Reunion was the perfect example of why. It covered most of the controversial stuff from the season, with the exception of a few loose ends that can be tied up in part two, so what exactly are we going to talk about by the time this whole three-parter winds down? Is the last hour just going to be an informercial for Vicki’s Vodka? Actually, I would watch that, in the same way that I find myself entranced by the Slap-Chop commercial every time it comes on. Anyway, let’s cover the salient points of what happened last night.

1. Vicki and Donn still aren’t divorced. I hadn’t realized that the whole thing had yet to be settled, so this was something of a surprise to me. Vicki did some hemming and hawing about why they had yet to sign, but she admitted the real reason before long – signing the papers means that she’ll probably have to pay Donn spousal support, and she’d rather delay that. Well, that makes sense.

2. Alexis and Gretchen looked like they had shown up to film an episode of Dynasty. Unlike most of the past reunions, the majority of the Housewives managed to dress themselves vaguely like adults, but between Alexis’ boob holsters and the sleeve that had apparently been torn off of Gretchen’s dress in a terrible mishap with a carelessly closed car door, there was plenty to look at. Look at and ponder. Ponder and mourn.

3. SURPRISE: Tamra and Gretchen aren’t besties anymore. I think we all saw this one coming, right? Tamra’s worked on herself quite a bit and is now on good terms with all of the other wives, and Gretchen’s behavior and attitude have only deteriorated. Also, Slade. Who wants to be around Slade in any capacity, other than Gretchen? Tamra doesn’t need her for strategic purposes anymore and Gretchen seems like a tedious person to hang out with, so we’re back to square one.

4. I still don’t care about Gretchen’s improprieties from several years ago. For some reason, I just can’t gin up the outrage over that story. None of it was ever on camera, so it hardly makes compelling television, and now it was so long ago that it seems like all it does is cause everyone to yell at each other, nonsensically and in high-pitched voices, until Andy Cohen gets irritated and shushes the entire group. No more of that, please.

5. Andy Cohen wants to know why Lisa Vanderpump is a bigger celebrity than Heather. Does he really need Lydia to explain that to him? His own network seems to be fully on board with that estimation of the two Housewives; Lisa, after all, has her own show, and Heather doesn’t appear to be getting the same deal any time soon. And then when Lydia stated the obvious to ask the question that was pointedly asked of her, Heather accused her of sneaking in an insult. And the insult was…what, exactly? Admitting that there are people who are more famous than Heather?

6. In general, people seemed to gang up on Lydia. Perhaps some of the other Housewives were irritated because of Lydia’s generally positive portrayal on the show and the relatively friendly fan reaction to her, but they seemed more irritated with her than her actions seemed to merit. Yeah, she giggled a bit over Heather trying to get on the cover of her magazine, but on Real Housewives, that’s the least of the offensive things that happens in a single episode. Compared with Vicki calling Gretchen the c-word, a cackle and an eye-roll seem so tame.

7. The more Lauri talks, the less sympathetic she is. Now Vicki suddenly didn’t ever give her a job? As much as we’re all sick of Vicki’s particular brand of BS, that seems like revisionist history at best. If she’s willing to recast that situation in order to make herself look better, even though everyone agrees on what actually happened and has for years, it only makes all the other ridiculous accusations she’s hurled seem less likely to be true. Since most of them only seemed halfway true to begin with, Lauri’s not doing herself any favors.

8. I’m not sure what could possibly be in the next two installments of this reunion. We’ve already covered Tamra and Gretchen’s feud, Lauri’s accusations about Vicki and all the beefs that everyone has with Lydia, so are we going to dedicate an entire hour to Brooks and an hour to Gretchen’s involvement with Heather’s dearly departed Malibu Country?

9. And now, a little survey question. Will you guys be watching Real Housewives of Miami? Are you interested in us recapping it, or can we take a break until the return of Beverly Hills? Is there anything else you’re just burning for us (either me or Emily) to recap? Give me your thoughts.

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Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • MK123

    Pleae recap Miami! I look forward to this every Tuesday!

  • Ellengro

    Please no Miami recaps! We shouldn’t be encouraging that franchise! Ugh!

  • Webaj

    Please recap Miami…based on the first episode, we have already hit one square on Amanda’s Housewives Bingo game with Roman’s purchase of the new Jaguar for Joanna!

  • Shali

    Recap Miami please !!!

  • Ashleyg

    Miami recap!!! And please oh please tune in to at least one episode of NeNe’s wedding spinoff and give your thoughts- it would make for such an awesomely hilarious read!

  • Jeloi

    I will never watch RHOM and I would rather read your recap on RHOA instead. I will just wait for RHOB, even though I would have loved to read a recap on Betsey Johnson’s show. I thought it was very interesting and her designs were fun and colorful!!

  • Gina Fuller

    I look forward to reading your recaps. They are so funny. I miss the way you used to recap the Housewives episodes, like you do with the Kardashians, instead of just numbering different points of each episode.

    • It’s not me who recaps the Kardashians, it’s Emily!

    • Guest

      I’m another who prefers Amanda’s previous recap style. (And I would NEVER confuse her writing with that of anyone else on staff at the Purse Blog.) I would rather see her take a break from recapping altogether rather than continue with the list format. I may be wrong, but her boredom with the recaps is showing. Maybe she needs a little time away from this task.

      • sara

        Amen! Take a well-deserved break, Amanda, and come back when you want to.

  • laura

    Yes, please recap Miami. I love your recaps even if the drama of the show doesn’t make any sense, you always manage to make it look important. I didn’t watch a single episode of OC but I feel I’m updated with your recaps.

  • Jenifer Morrison

    please recap Miami! Give up on Atlanta- they are the most crazy of the crazy. I’m from Miami, not longer live there, and truly enjoy watching these women, most of them at least~ If anything the scenery is spectacular! Makes me a bit homesick-

  • William Philibert

    Please Recap Miami!
    I know sooo many of you have been left with a bitter taste after the first season which was, to be honest, absolutely dreadful, but the second one was clearly a step in a new direction and the cast is quite interesting.

    What more, has anyone realized how the cinematography from Miami seems slightly different from the cinematography in all the other franchises? There seems to be an emphasis on music, and ‘between-the-scenes-filler-moments’ that none of the other franchises have. It’s quite pleasant actually, it kinda gives a touch of ‘drama’ to the whole thing, and I don’t mean the usual Housewives drama. More like some depth to the show, as if it was a bit like a movie sometimes.

    And say what you want, in the very beginning of Real Housewives, for a lot of us the show was a guilty pleasure through which we could have a peek through the lives, homes, closets, purses, shoes, fashion and cars of some richer people. Beverly Hills, although still the fanciest, seems way less fabulous and glamorous than in season 1 and 2. Yolanda and Lisa are the only 2 that present some eye-candy. There is almost NO eye candy in Orange County, and there definately is close to none in New Jersey as well. Atlanta isn’t really over the top either, fashion/home/car/lifestyle-wise, except for Nene sometimes.

    What’s left? Miami. They drive fabulous cars, live in fabulous homes, and are very fashion-forward even though they have a typically overly sexy, latin sense of fashion you always witness in Miami. And there seems to be no franchise that puts the eye candy up front in a blatant manner like Miami.

    Please, Amanda, recap Miami season 3!

    • Guest

      let it be

      • Guest

        ???????it is the nicest way to earn more and more money at home.$80h – $90h…how? part time or full time,I’ve been bringing in $102h… It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it out.

    • Guest

      ? o?ly work abo?t for 10k- $13k ho?r? a week fro? ho?e. ?? ????g a? o?l??e b????e?? opport???ty ? heard abo?t a?d ?’ve ?ade ??ch great ?o?ey. Jo?? the ?a?y ??cce??f?l people who have already ?tarted freela?c??g over the web.

    • twirler

      actually all of the Housewives franchises are made by different production companies, which is why they each have a slightly unique look

      • William Philibert

        I actually didn’t know that! Thanks for the update!

  • Rose

    Skip Miami, it is a bore

  • linda

    YES miami!!

  • Guest

    I didn’t watch the reunion.

    Alexis and her bolt-ons look ridiculous.

    Of course Lisa Vanderpump is a “bigger” celebrity than Heather. To the people who watch Bravo with any degree of regularity. (Note to Heather: makes no difference. Those of us who remember your pre-motherhood career would love to see you in a serious role again. And not on Bravo, please.)

    As for other shows you might recap, I vote for Project Runway.

  • CM

    No need to recap Miami

  • sabine

    i did not like Lydia, i thought she was a judgemental pot stirrer (pun intended). no, i will not be watching Miami, but i would read your recaps if you wrote one

  • ottercat

    No Miami.

  • Crg

    Yes to recapping Miami!

  • jennas-side.com

    i actually just watched miami, and it was so insane that i kinda need you to make sense of my reaction….i just need to know you see it too, and that i am not crazy, bravo really did air that episode with a straight face

  • SandiG

    No Miami Please. IT’S much too painful to watch!!

  • Keith Daniels

    By all means, recap any and all upcoming Real Housewives episodes, including the latest season of The Real Housewives of Miami.
    I have to say this about The Real Housewives of Orange County reunion on BRAVO: I plan to watch a bit of the same on BRAVO DOT COM, but I must relate this now: Lauri, regardless of what she has related to date to Andy Cohen, clearly has come back to Cota with an agenda of her own: I am not saying that Lauri did not find that she had some extra time on her hands and that on some level she did not genuinely want to reuine with “the girls”, but what I am saying is this: Engaging in the type of behavior that she is engaging in on-air is not the way to ingratiate herself into the company of these housewife regulars; and definitely not the way to become a regular once again on the show. By the way, everyone who watched that particular prior season, myself included, knows very well that Vicki gave Lauri that position at her insurance company; and, if Lauri is now saying otherwise, she is either in denial or delusional or both; and she is ripe for another show entirely, namely TV’S DR. PHIL!!! :-)

  • cheryl

    I’ll watch the next 2 parts of the reunion, it’s stupid but i just can’t help myself. It would make RHOM much more fun if you recapped, but I really wish you were doing Eat Drink Love. I have to say this past Mad Men season was much less enjoyable without your recaps.

  • Ana

    Yes!! Recap Miami, please!!!!