Two weeks ago, we introduced you to an idea we had for a new PurseBlog series: Closet Confessionals. We explained the idea in detail then (which you can read about now), but essentially, we wanted to answer the question we hear asked most frequently ny both our readers and friends: how in the world do people afford their bags?
To do that, we needed a little help for all of you, by way of an anonymous, detailed survey about income, career, budgeting and personal taste. Many of you were happy to share, and today, we’ve got the first entry in what we’re hoping will be an illuminating series on fashion and personal finance. We’d also love to hear from you about your own shopping habits in as much detail as you’d like to give, and we promise to keep you totally anonymous. The more you can tell us about your preferences and decisions, the more likely we are to use your submission! Our first installment series is a great example of what we’re hoping to hear about.
[sc_cc_callout]The Basics
Age: 35
Gender Identity: Female
Location: Georgia
Occupation: Software designer
Industry: IT, and my husband works in entertainment
Income: Around $600,000. I make $110,000 to $120,000, and my husband makes $450,000 to $480,000, depending on what he’s working on. Things can vary in entertainment, but we’ve been steady at this level for the past several years. There are also residuals from previous projects.
The Bags
Are you a PurseForum member? Yes
How many bags do you own? 20
How much is your collection worth? Around $30,000
What is your most expensive bag? My Céline Luggage Tote or Céline Big Bag.
How old were you when you got your first designer bag, and what was it? I was in my mid-20s, and I got a Céline Cabas Hobo
What are the most important brands or pieces in your collection? Hmm, important. I have quite a few Célines, a few Louis Vuittons, a Goyard, a couple Fendis, some Faure le Page, a Valentino, and a few others.
The Shopping
How often do you buy new bags? Once or twice a month.
Which stores do you frequent the most? Saks in Atlanta, Céline, Hermès and Louis Vuitton.
Do you ever buy second-hand bags? Yes!
Where do you buy used? The Real Real
Do you sell old bags to pay for new purchases? Not premium designers—I’mkeeping those for my daughter. I did sell off my contemporary bags once I really got into luxury bags—Tory Burch, Kate Spade, Botkier, etc. I sold them through a friend of mine who has a high-volume Poshmark account and let her take 10% so I don’t have to deal with the hassle of eBay or consignment.
Who influences your buying decisions? Mostly I’ll see a bag or brand carried by someone else and start obsessing over it, or just go with an idea and browse. Occasionally I go to the store with a need in mind but not a preference, and at that point I’ll let a sales associate help me make a decisions. I see a lot of bags on TPF that I end up getting, but have also bought bags (the LV Saintogne, for example) and later had them show up as bags-of-the-moment on PurseBlog, which is very validating! I don’t really follow any celebrity or Instagram influencer for inspiration—maybe I’m too old!
Are sales associate relationships instrumental to your shopping? Sometimes! I have an SA at Céline who lets me know when things come in that I might be interested in, and I have an SA at Louis Vuitton in Heathrow, and communicate with the SA at Faure le Page. Most of the folks in the handbag/shoes/cosmetics department at Saks in Atlanta know me. I also have an SA at Neiman Marcus who helps me find things for events like premieres, etc.
The Money
Who pays for your bags? Me, myself, and I! I am a software designer, and my husband is in production. He makes gobs of money and is in no way a penny pincher, but has a hard time justifying me spending thousands on handbags and accessories, so a year or so ago, we split our accounts. I make around $10,000 a month, and I pay for our live-in-nanny (I know. It’s a lot more posh than it sounds. With my husband’s schedule, I am often a solo parent, so for all our sakes, we decided to opt for live-in help.) and any of my personal expenses, our personal trainer (oh god, I’m one of those people, please send help) and occasionally things like groceries, etc. Then I put a bit aside for taxes, and the rest is MINE TO SPEND.
Do you set aside a budget for your bag purchases? Not really. I have a couple of credit cards with a max spending limit of around $15,000, so if those get close to maxed, I take a break, pay them down, and then repeat. Generally I’d say I spend around $3,000 to $4,000 per month on shopping and luxury expenses (manis, pedis, massage, etc). I try to have at least $2,000 left over in my regular checking at the end of each month, and keep my credit card balances reasonable.
The Taboo Topics
Have you ever purchased a counterfeit because you couldn’t afford a designer item? First I said ABSOLUTELY NOT, then I remembered my late teens/early twenties in NYC. I lived there in the mid-aughts when the Monogram Multicolore white LV bags were all the rage, and my cousin asked me to go to Chinatown to get her a fake. I got myself a fake Prada while I was there; the logo fell off within 30 minutes of using it, and that was the end of that. I also bought my sister a fake Dior necklace off eBay around the same time. I have learned my lesson since then and actually actively discourage friends and family from purchasing fakes—a relative was recently abroad and bought some fake Hèrmes bracelets and I gave her a stern lecture. Nowadays, I would never in a MILLION YEARS consider carrying a fake. It feels disrespectful.
Do you ever hide purchases from your significant other? I did, at one point, until we decided to split the accounts. Now we operate on a need-to-know basis. He knows I shop and he has begun to recognize brands (to my dismay, ha!), but we have access to each other’s accounts so if he REALLY wants to know, he can look for himself. Splitting the accounts was a huge relief to both of us, because I was tired of feeling guilty and tired of fighting the urge to spend my well-earned money, especially when we do so well financially. I think he would probably faint if he saw an actual number, but the situation we have now seems to work out pretty well. He only gets mad when I don’t pay down credit card balances fast enough, so that’s something I have to be more careful about.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to afford a bag? Nothing crazy! I would say that the closest thing to crazy would be maxing out my cards a few years ago and hiding it from my husband. We’ve grown since then! Although, one time at Saks my credit cards kept getting inexplicably declined (plenty of credit, just Saks ineptitude and some unfortunate identify theft in the past that was throwing up red flags), and my mother-in-law had to pay for my Céline bag. I ended up returning it and getting a Fendi By The Way Bag anyway, and THEN!!!! I found the Céline I REALLY wanted on Gilt for like $700 off retail, so I was a happy camper.
The Rest Of It
Any other expensive hobbies or passions? Horses! Unfortunately I had an injury last year that has me temporarily unable to ride, but I’m getting back to it.
TRAVEL! I love traveling but hate flying, and I discovered a few years ago that flying first class alleviates that by about 90%. (I think much of it was claustrophobia!) This includes flying internationally, which is astronomically expensive but SO. FREAKING. WORTH IT.
Shoes, and to a lesser degree clothing. Luxury beauty products, without a double, and a personal trainer. Bi-weekly in-home massage. Oh god, I am literally the worst. (Just kidding—I love my life and I like to think I also manage to be relatively down to Earth, all things considered. Less than a decade ago, my husband and I made a combined $50,000, and now we make over $500,000, so it’s nice to have been on both sides.)
I will say that the more money you make, the more expensive your tastes get, which will probably come as no surprise to anyone. My bag journey was very predictable. Started with one luxury purchase after a lot of saving, then had years of contemporary bags, then consignment, then flash-sale sites, and now exclusively new items, though I am on the prowl for a Kelly some day and would not be opposed to pre-loved if next year’s Paris trip isn’t successful.
My collection and lifestyle are in no way the most extravagant, but I do see the signs of luxury fatigue. Not in the sense that I am tired of spending money (don’t know if that will ever happen…), but I am gravitating a bit more towards experiences vs. items. And I say that, but like two weeks ago I went to Saks and blew like $4,000 in a matter of hours, so I am probably a liar. That, and I find myself tiring of purchases quickly and moving on to the next thing, so that my collection grows but doesn’t really get much use beyond the newest items. I’d like to be able to take a step back and appreciate and evaluate what I have and consider selling a few things, especially if I know I am always going to be buying more.
Anything else?
I think for me, the desire to acquire any kind of luxury goods ignites a bit of cognitive dissonance—I know, intellectually, that this specific bag or that pair of shoes is not going to radically change my life in any way. When I start to let my desire for these things overpower the stuff in life that really matters to me (quality time with kids, husband, career fulfillment, personal creative projects), then it begins to feel hollow. If I start catching myself blowing off work to comb the internet for a good deal on X or a specific type of Y, or ignoring my kids to look at fashion blogs, it’s time for me to take a step back and reevaluate. I can’t ever let loving nice things become the most important thing in my life, which is hard to manage when you have an impulsive/compulsive personality. To really enjoy the things I splurge on, I gotta have my “house” in order, so to speak, otherwise I just feel temporarily elated, then guilty, and like an addict needing more and more. Life is too big and awesome for that! So in short I try to manage “lifestyle creep” as much as I can.
“I will say that the more money you make, the more expensive your tastes get, which will probably come as no surprise to anyone.”
If this isn’t the truth! I don’t make near what she or her husband makes (I’m single, no kids), but each promotion or raise, I find that my taste seems to automatically elevate with it. And while I do love the results of my shopping, I do want to cease the increase in expenses associated with my non-essential purchases.
I feel this way about my skincare items. I’ve gotten so used to using department store creams and cleansers since I started making more, I can’t imagine going back to drugstore items. I wouldn’t mind selling my bags if I ever really needed money, but I’d cry if I had to start use cheap stuff on my face LOL!
La Mer user…can relate!
I am also a skincare addict! You can pry my La Mer from my cold, dead fingers ?
Yes! When I lost half of my income at some point, I was like “but how do I afford my expensive skincare now?! Horror!!”
I’m a high end skincare person as well!
Love that her values are staying intact AND she is still buying bags. I do agree about the luxury fatigue. I have noticed that a bit myself. Can’t wait for more of these articles. So very interesting to have a peak inside!!!
Very interesting. Please keep doing these articles.
We are planning on publishing these confessional weekly, permitting we have enough submissions. So far, we have months worth of amazing admissions to publish!
Can’t wait for the next one!
Yaaaaaas what a bougie confessional. I love it! Also, “I’m probably a liar,” haha so relatable.
THANK YOU for spelling bougie right
So interesting. I like how honest she is. It’s refreshing and this is why I love TPF members. I also struggle with not spending more the more money I make even when I plan to keep my expenses the same! I need to figure that out.
Amen, sister!
So interesting to see how someone with a lot of money organises it.
Ugh. I have expensive taste but not nearly this income level.
Finally!!!!! All I have been able to ascertain from other members are that they scrimp and save….I know that is not applicable to most of the members who buy regularly at the premier level. I make $130k and live in the same region. Unfortunately, I don’t have a husband or second income coming in. It really does make the difference. It sounds like they live on his income and her income goes towards the the indulgences. It is so refreshing to hear a true story and validate that I am not doing anything wrong.
Valryian Steel – I can so identify with you Valryian. We sound like twins. And although I love my luxury purchases, I also have to think about paying for the new $9,000 roof on my house and saving for retirement. An income of $130k is better than most people, so I guess we should both be grateful.
You are not doing anything wrong!
Loved this, I won’t lie for half a second I was judging but you know what to each their own. Get it girl! You work hard and so does your DH, you should enjoy life and all the fruits of your labor. I love the honesty this Closet Confessional gives, felt like I was talking to a girlfriend if that makes any sense.
Everyone judges and everyone has a bias.
I would love to see more of this series, with income levels from across the whole spectrum! Both people well into their careers, people just graduating college/early in careers, and everything in between.
I love getting this glimpse into someone else’s closet. As someone just moving up the ladder in the IT world, it was awesome seeing another female in this industry hitting it out of the park!
Please include pics! That would be such a great addition. Closet, shots, most coveted, least used, most used, least expensive, most expensive, hardest to get, favorite, fear of ruining one…
People can submit photos – we want people to remain completely anonymous though so sometimes photos might be recognizable to tPFers if they are members etc. We will work on incorporating though!
I appreciate your effort to try and keep people anonymous!
My concern is that the people who aren’t making gobs of money will be underrepresented. I don’t want to only read stories about a certain exclusive class of people, since TPF has more diversity than that.
We have so many submissions – hundreds right now, across all income levels. We chose this as our first because of how fun the OP was an detailed. There will be plenty more across all income levels!
Yay!!! I can’t wait! I only wish there were closet confessional photos (that wouldn’t reveal anyone’s identity of course).
Are you only publishing US-based submissions?
Nope – any and all. What we’re looking for is thorough answers on each topic and interesting details!
It’ll be interesting to see how they balance it – high end designer is great but seeing this series expand to all kinds of budget ranges is what would keep it fresh, and make it more relatable for a broader swatch of people.
You make a good point about the diversity of readers they have. I’d hope that they draw on them for their thoughts and experiences.
Yes but everyone scrimps and saves, buys on sale, etc. Heck, I do that. I want to hear how the people who are buying the high end bags are doing it. That is what always has me scratching my head, wondering what I am not doing that they are doing
Scrimp and save, what’s that? Some of us have (oh, heck, I’ll just speak for myself), I mean I have a serious addiction, and there’s not one handbag I own that hasn’t been a spontaneous purchase. (There, I said it. I feel better now. LOL!) You might hear my anonymous confessional in the future.
In this article, OP references dropping $4000 dollars at Saks and having a live in nanny. There’s a difference between needing sales to afford basic necessities and a sale on luxury items. They are not a necessity. I also found the comment about “making it all work on $600,000” to be dissatisfying and misleading. She still makes a large income (and how about income tax, hmmmmm?)
Yes, but if you notice Rielle, she said that if she runs up her credit cards, she’ll take a break to pay them down, then shop again. She sounds human just like the rest of us. Yes, she makes a decent income, but it doesn’t sound like her husband is at all paying for her luxury habit. And trust me, making $120,000 a year does not mean that the world is your oyster. You have to set limits.
Her husband is covering almost all of her expenses, though, which means she has way more money to spend on indulgences than a household making /only/ $120k would.
I love this !!! Keep em coming it’s interesting to see how and what income people are able to do this !!! I currently have 5 amazing luxury bags but only have household income I’ve 120,000 !! It’s not easy affording these bags !!
Really enjoyed reading this, so thank you whoever you are. I’m not in the same income bracket but found myself nodding in so many places. You sound happy and grateful and that’s just delightful. Best wishes.
I love your honesty. Though I don’t yet play in the same league as this, a lot of it resonates with me in person with this account.
Fascinating read! More please!
We have so many to go thru – so there will def be more!
Very interesting. I’m actually surprised that someone with such a high HHI uses credit cards. What’s the point? With that being said, I agree with others that it will be nice to see how the diversity of submissions unfolds.
Not OP but same income bracket; for me it’s rewards/travel points. If I pay them off every month I’m not getting charged interest and I get $ towards flights, account credits, etc. this is only a good strategy if you’re paying them down on time, though, otherwise it’s a wash.
I totally agree. I use credit cards 99% to take advantage of the perks the credit cards offer and pay them off before the due date.
So do I Shiztsu. For me, it adds up to about one $100 Nordstrom gift card per month!
I also always pay with CC in order to earn free flights overseas, I would never pay with the direct bank payment – the price tag already includes 3-5% CC fees that merchant pays to CC, so why would I give more profit to Saks/etc. instead of myself a free flight? Then I pay off the CC at once and if I am on Ban island then in 2 months. I would only pay in 2 months if it’s an H bag. T oo bad that I already submitted my confessional without more juicy details
Maybe you could submit a revised confessional?
I’m thinking you could submit a revised confessional?
OP makes it sound as though she carries a balance on her cards though, which if so, is beyond foolish.
I noticed that as well.
I agree why pay interest when your income is high?????????
That makes total sense! Submit a confessional 🙂
Great story, I love that people are willing to share the details on their lifestyles.
Excellent blog, I loved reading the software designer’s story and look forward to reading more. I submitted my Confessional this morning! Thank you for the opportunity.
This is amazing! Love it!!! thank you!
This is great! I already submitted a confessional, but realized I completely lacked the level of detail I should have given after reading this one. Is it possible to resubmit?
Absolutely welcome to resubmit your answers!
This reminds me of money diary om r29. Love it!
sounds like she couldnt afford this habit without hubby. and she carries credit card debt too.
OMG I love it! I do agree with one of the comments that it’s good to know that her values remain intact despite gobs of spending money. You can’t take your expensive purses in your grave, or can you?! LOL
I absolutely loved this article! What a cool, new chapter for PB. It was fun to get a sense of what goes on beyond the bags, it’s relatable. It’s also good to remember that we may have designer tastes, but we can’t try to “keep up” with others who have higher budgets. I don’t have that kind of disposable income, so I can’t compare my ability to buy bags with others in her situation. And I don’t like the shame associated with a love of designer. Good for her for loving nice things and also working to keep the important things as the priority. This was a fun read and I can relate to her in a more personal way, this is a great way to connect readers!
She sounds lovely!! Wish i could follow her on IG. Good for her for having her own account. Hubby and I are the same way. We have a joint account and our own separate accounts. Her story about stuff coming out of her account resonated with me sooo much. My hubby knows i spend alot but doesnt bother me. Because as long as bills are paid we are good. PLUS it was an agreement we had since day one…he understands my love of purses like i understand his love of cars. It balances.
Awww, someone struggling on $600k/year. Awww…. I’m waiting for the column about someone who admits selling her first-born male child for a Birkin! Now THAT would be an interesting read.
What I don’t understand is why Hubby doesn’t pay for the Nanny? That should come out of his salary!
Truly curious: why?
Husband makes the majority of the income. Child care expenses should be not shouldered by her alone. I can handle her paying for her purses and trainer out of her personal money. The child care is not a personal expense. If he is paying for all the expenses he should pay for the nanny also.
I’m personally not in favor of split accounts. If you are married you should be one unit. One checking account with both names on it. No hidden money.
For those husbands who frown about expensive bags, as far as I am concerned they shouldn’t have expensive hubbies themselves.
Hubby is most likely covering housing, utilities, transportation/cars, insurance, school for the kids (if private), etc… does it really latter…
Agree that childcare expenses should be shared by both parents, preferably pro-rata to incomes, there might be various reasons OP end up shouldering all of it.
For instance, by paying the live-in nanny from her own account, the OP could retain the power of choosing the nanny, as she is the boss. Or if she ever finds her husband getting a bit too cosy with the nanny, she can replace her with another without his consent. Sorry if I sound too cynical….
Most likely OP wanted a LI nanny and hubby didn’t so they compromised by getting one but OP paying for it.
Such an interesting series. I do think it’s funny that 450K is considered “gobs of money” in Georgia–it’s barely close to middle class here in NYC! I would love to see focus on different geographies for the Closet Confessionals, and how the concepts of luxury and wealth vary significantly by region.
Nope! I actually looked it up because I was interested as well — to be on the top 1% of households in New York Cory, you have to have a household income of 517k. Middle class is only 172k. Check it out, it’s pretty interesting
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.businessinsider.com/how-much-money-rich-people-earn-in-america-san-francisco-new-york-2018-2
HHI of 517K may put you in the top 1% in NYC (specifically Manhattan), but the lifestyle you would lead would be comparable to “middle class”: you might own or rent a roughly 1,000 square foot apartment, you would take public transportation (you won’t own a car), you would go out one or twice a week…In short, your existence is comfortable, but certainly not extravagant or indulgent. You would definitely not be leading the original poster’s lifestyle — specially with kids since you would be worried about how you would pay their tuition if they don’t test well and get lucky in the school lottery.
Wow!! 450k is barely close to middle class in NYC?!?! Now I feel POOR!!!!! And feel guily too!!! I have 20+ luxury bags when my income level still under 150k =(
That’s an exaggeration. You “only” need $517k per annum to be in the top 1%, so $450k is well above the average.
Yeah people have a bit of a warped view of wealth I’m noticing. I’ve lived all over, including NYC, and you have a much higher concentration of ultra wealthy so it “seems” like only the superrich (multimillionaires) are truly considered rich there — but in a city of umpteen million people, you’ll have a higher concentration of everything. Aside from real estate (which is, admittedly, off the charts due to space, supply, and demand) New York is comparable to pretty much any other large US city – certain things are much more expensive and there is more visible wealth on display, but a savvy person/household making a half mil a year isn’t “barely middle class” anywhere in the world.
This is such a great series!! Some of the judgemental comments are unfortunate. It’s a confessional! If you’re all perfect and don’t ever ever carry CC balances then good for you but atleast she’s honest.
I definitely feel the luxury fatigue I’ve taken a break and no matter how much I look I haven’t craved for anything new all year.
So she affords it because her husband makes a lot of money ie he pays for everything else as in all the daily needs ( house payments car payments food household expenses cable cell phones insurance going out to eat movies etc etc) and she only pays for wants handbags nails personal trainer …. please give me a break this is a silly new purse blog theme I already know how people afford it they have more discretionary income!
Yes, this is a purse blog and that’s why we are all here and loving it!
I used to check out purse blog ,more for fun ,I’m not fooling myself my husband is a farmer although he works 7 days a week and deserves a six figure income that’s not reality .Im just wondering what this going to achieve ! Making the majority feel bad that they will not likely ever be in this situation or make the minority comfortable with the indulgences they enjoy .I do believe that people should be rewarded for their success but this just strikes me as something that is insensitive if not tacky .
Our goal and intention is never to make anyone feel bad – this site is for those who love handbags to have a little place to visit and share on the internet. We have hundreds of submissions for this category and we will be sharing tons of different views from tons of different people. This was our first share because we loved all the detail the confessional gave along with her wit and humor. It was a fun read for me and I hope for many of you!
It’s one of the reasons why I distance myself from TPF and I don’t typically comment on the threads. I have encountered some entitled, disillusioned folk who think that a $5000 purse is a necessity. It’s the ATTITUDE, not the fact that they can afford these items.
Great theme, great read! I’d even like to hear in greater detail on the bag collections; glad at least bags are noted by name as that’ll over time illustrate who buys what and where, aside from financial ability.
So agreed on relativity of “gobs” of funds – very regional! Tech put Paris at our doorstep as shoppers, so to speak, so anyone anywhere can obsess and buy – no doubt we in lower cost cities benefit from that, despite higher wages/salaries in coastal/biggest cities.
I do hope the writer’s efforts to balance $tuff with family and life are real and not just lip service – her honestly, especially on the awareness of the conundrum and fatigue, is great. I get it and I appreciate it.
My only Q is on the saving of bags/stuff for the kids. I’m learning through experience that it is an assumption at best that, aside from a special thing here and there, a kid will want or use Mom’s stuff as she determines it, or uses it to rationalize purchases. IMO the circular economy boom is the best thing ever – lovely (costly) things should be loved, used and enjoyed. If not, to sell and re-sell is refreshing, savvy and lets things be enjoyed while they are still in vogue and/or good condition.
This is a good point about saving BA selling. I hoard bags/shoes a bit myself even though I have some that I haven’t worn in months. I always think about reselling but rationalize that I can give away to friends/family if I really want to, but then I rarely do that either. This kinda inspires me to maybe get off my b and sell some stuff 🙂
whenever i have done a “tough love closet cleanout” i use and appreciate what i have that much more. as they say, it’s a win-win 🙂
I like what you said in the last paragraph – good insight!
Photos!!
LOVED this article. Refreshing and honest. I felt like I was reading about myself! I am about to be married, and my (super loving and wonderful) fiance and I have separate accounts. Just 3 years ago, when we met, he didn’t have a job. Now, we make over half a million together. We have separate accounts, and he pays for housing, most of our food, and trips and other adventures. That leaves me with my $150k salary to spend on indulgences like manis and spa days and, of course, bags. I know I am extremely lucky right now, and I’ve also been on the other side of things as a single woman. Having dual incomes makes a world of difference. Even when I was making 6 figures, living in an expensive city on my own meant that a $250 Rebecca Minkoff from the Saks outlet felt extravagant.
I love the idea of this column and how posters are willing to be so open. But the math here doesn’t compute for me. My household income is slightly higher than theirs but if we lived this lifestyle and had children we’d be living much closer on the edge.
Also, a $120k gross salary computes to maybe $6k max per month in the US after taxes not taking into account other deductions. Likely less with the higher marginal tax rate due to their combined income. I would even guess around $4k per month which is a very respectable income. But that would hardly pay for a full time nanny ($3-4K) and the other luxury expenses that comes from the poster’s salary.
Again, I enjoy the idea of the series. I also love and work with data and numbers all day so maybe that’s why math is the first thing I think of/do.
Thanks for pointing this out. I like the idea of the series, but to highlight this person as the launch profile seemed a little off IMO. I would far rather they had profiled a woman who really pays her own way and stands on her own two feet rather than someone who is fortunate to have a rich enough husband that her income can be spent on her wants, her desires, her luxuries. It does perpetuate some not so positive stereotypes. And there’s a pretty hefty measure of humblebragging sprinkled throughout. Honest? Maybe. Refreshing….not so much.
This is so backwards. Only women who “really pay their own way” are worthy of your attention? Give me a break. It’s a questionnaire literally asking how do you afford to spend so much on handbags. Of course there will be humblebrags, kept women/men, women who don’t have a partner, or ones that do but are the primary breadwinner. All have (hopefully?) unique stories and attitudes.
Sarienne, you’re missing an important point. I did not say that only women who pay their own way are “worthy of my attention” (if I did, please point out EXACTLY where I wrote that). I did say I wish the LAUNCH profile — that is the one to kick off this series — had been such a woman, rather than someone who’s able to coast along on her husband’s income for necessities and gets to use hers for luxuries and me-time. The choice for the series opener, IMO, only works to confirm some of the negative stereotypes about women who wear expensive bags, shoes etc. (Anyway, as Amy noted, the numbers don’t even add up.) This is merely my impression; I accept that yours is different. Is there a reason why you can’t do the same?
I’m not going to get into a debate about the financial details of someone I don’t know, because how can one possibly determine if things don’t add up or not given what small amount of information we were given? The nanny might be an aupair, which aside from an upfront fund only requires a small weekly stipend. They might be completely debt free aside from the credit card spending, with houses cars etc paid off. Maybe they file taxes separately, or have an LLC, or have significant savings set aside. Unless you’re the accountant, you literally have no idea whether or not the numbers add up.
I’m not sure what negative stereotype you’re referring to – she makes six figures and spends her money on childcare, shopping, and extras for both of them. I can’t think of any widely held “a woman who works and pays for the family luxuries while the partner also works and pays for necessities” stereotypes.
But you’re right, you’re allowed to think whatever you want. Women already get judged, stereotyped and maligned for just about any choice they make unless they fit a certain criteria of idealized feminine empowerment, I don’t think one more will hurt. But just know that there are those of us out there who don’t work at all, raise families, and (gasp) spend their “husband’s” money on nice things. We’re not stereotypes, we are real people who have made choices. Knowing that people like you are judging me for carrying a bag I bought with money my husband made is nothing new, albeit a bit disappointing.
Enjoy your week.
I would also be very interested in knowing the interviewees’ wealth (i.e. savings, assets) and not solely their annual income. I think if someone has an awesome bag collection, high annual income, but no savings, it can be a lesson to other women.
I wish I had read this before I did my own questionnaire. I left so much out!!!!
Wow, this is an interesting article! Thanks for this. Software is spreading more and more in all spheres of life and is becoming more and more in demand. I found this kind of software for the pest control industry. Looks awesome!