If we're being totally honest with ourselves, when you pony up for a pair of Louboutins, we are saying a silent prayer that we will look one tenth as good as Jennifer Lopez does in any old designer shoe. We don't comment a lot about people's body types on PB because it is gauche, but since we're being real, J-Lo has exactly the type of professionally toned and sculpted bod that designer pumps are made to accentuate (or emulate), so it seems fitting that she has a designer shoe collection that any women with a pulse should envy. The depth and breadth of her collection are quite staggering, so brace yourselves.
Casadei Blade Pumps
$750 via Saks
Jennifer wore these fetching suede Blades to promote her new show Shades of Blue at the NBCUniversal Press Tour.
Christian Louboutin Body Strass Pumps
Shop Christian Louboutin via Neiman Marcus
She wore these mesh-paneled Louboutins to a recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel. Louboutins are frequently J-Lo's go-to shoe, for reasons that are obvious to anyone with functioning eyeballs.
Christian Louboutin Mea Culpa Collar Pumps
Shop Christian Louboutin via Saks
Here she is wearing a pair of high-backed neon suede Christian Louboutin Mea Culpa Collar Pumps to a UN Foundation Gender Equality Dinner. That's her man Casper Smart on the steps, pondering gender equality issues.
Christian Louboutin So Kate Strass Pumps
$675 via Neiman Marcus
Here they are again, attending the premiere of The Perfect Match back in March. Jennifer has paired her sparkly crystal Louboutins with an equally sparkly Valentino clutch.
Christian Louboutin Toerless Muse Glitter Pumps
Shop Christian Louboutin via Nordstrom
J-Lo wore these stunning Louboutins to the American Idol series finale. You can't skimp on the shoe bling for something like a series finale, obviously.
Christian Louboutin So Kate Python Pumps
$675 via Neiman Marcus
Nothing makes a double denim ensemble more upscale than pairing it with python Louboutins and a crocodile Birkin. Jennifer wore this outfit to a recent dinner at Craig's.
Giuseppe Zanotti Metallic Sandals
Shop Giuseppe Zanotti via Nordstrom
She wore this very minimal look on the blue carpet of the MTV Movie Awards. Her barely-there strappy sandals are Giuseppe Zanotti, of course.
Gucci Ursula Sandals
Shop via Gucci
I've never given serious consideration to what I would wear if I hosted a pool party in Vegas, but this seems pretty spot-on. J-Lo wore these tan leather Gucci Ursulas while playing host at Drai's in Las Vegas.
Saint Laurent Janis Pumps
$795 via Nordstrom
J-Lo wore these bright white Saint Laurent Janis Pumps to the NBC Upfronts in NYC last month. The Janis pumps were absurdly popular a few years ago, even when platforms were barely making a blip on the radar. Maybe we'll see more of them now that platforms are properly back in fashion.
Valentino Rockstud Strass Camo Flats
$995 via Saks
Finally, just to prove that she doesn't actually live in heels, here's J-Lo leaving the movies in Calabasas in a pair of black, studded Valentino flats. Does it amuse you when easily recognizable actresses deign to visit their local cineplex? It always amuses me greatly.