When I saw the Burberry Heart-Studded Satchel for the first time, I had the same internal monologue that I had while flipping through accessories pictures from the brand’s Spring 2011 runway show. It went something like, Really? That’s it? Christopher Bailey can do wonders with every other segment of the brand, but this is all that us handbag folks get?

Sadly, yes, this is all we get. Despite some accessory success several seasons ago and a few nice-yet-completely-unmemorable bags popping up every few months, Burberry’s handbag efforts have left much to be desired for some time now. I can only hope that the best is yet to come and that Bailey will throw us a bone of some sort in the near future. In the meantime, what in the world does he want us to do with this?

I just…I can’t. I can’t work with this. I’m not 12, I’m a grown woman, and I don’t want studded heart shapes covering anything on which I’m expected to spend $1500. I can get behind well-intention irreverence and I’m always up for a little bit of whimsy, perhaps even more so than the average Burberry customer, but this design reeks of immaturity.

I can barely think of anything articulate to say about this bag because the only thing that keeps popping into my head over and over every time I look at it is WTF. And that’s not particularly articulate or interesting, but it may indeed be an accurate and fair reaction. Burberry can do better than this with leather – just look at their Spring 2011 jackets – and I hope that someone in the company’s accessory department steps up to the plate soon. Buy through Neiman Marcus for $1495.

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