Get ready for a surprise, y’all – I actually quite like the Juicy Couture Lady Lock Lolita bag. It’s functional. It’s not over-designed. There aren’t a bunch of extra flaps and pockets and locks and tassels stuck on the front. It’s reasonably attractive, and also, reasonably priced! It has a wealth of charms, really, and it’s not often that I say such things about a Juicy Couture bag.

Despite all of that, there is one element of this bag that’s making me really angry – it seems to be the goal of Juicy’s accessories designers to make that vein in my head pop out as often as possible. Go ahead, try to guess what it is. I’ll wait. If you guessed “the superfluous drawstring closure,” then you were correct! Give yourself a pat on the back.

Memo to all accessories designers, everywhere: just because drawstring bags are sort of trendy right now doesn’t mean that it’s necessary or right to put a drawstrings on every bag that you make. They don’t all need one. This bag, for example, couldn’t need drawstrings any less, and yet there they are, sticking out from the sides like stringy pigtails. Stringy pigtails that make me angry.

This isn’t a bucket bag, it’s a hobo. It’s shaped like a hobo. It needs to be given one of those magnetic snap closures and sent on its way. The drawstring, when pulled, screws up the line of the strap and makes it look too narrow, when in fact it would look totally normal (and attractive) if the drawstring wasn’t there and the bag’s shape wasn’t pinched at the top. Lose the drawstring and this is a great bag. Keep it, and it’s merely average. Buy through ShopBop for $428.

Cream Dreams

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