As I mentioned earlier today, Megs and I are firmly planted in a Pennsylvania hotel room and we’re not coming back to New York City until all of the subways are running again. It’s actually been a nice break from the hectic city pace, but there’s one very clear downside: The hotel doesn’t have Bravo. Also, I forgot my laptop charger in my haste to escape from New York, so I have to make this quick.

Andy promised that last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey would be great, but sadly, I have no idea if that turned out to be true or not. I do know that watching the VMAs makes me feel absolutely ancient at all of 25 years old, because the hotel did happen to have MTV and I didn’t know who half of the people on it were. Anyway, feel free to discuss Real Housewives, the VMAs or how bloated you are from eating all of your storm supplies in the comments.

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Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • HandbagReport

    Amanda, I’m glad you guys went to a safe place, and so happy to hear that Irene didn’t destroy much of NYC! Love the bag!

  • Jennifer

    I’m glad you guys were both safe, but I am so sad not to have your recap. I was looking forward to your comments on the Hookah induced antics and the rest of the episode, including Milania crawling (falling) into the fresh salad display and Teresa giving her a high five for good behavior?!

  • Kayla

    Omg, totally forgot about the hookah. The morons kept calling flavored tobacco “pot”. Ummm, no. Not in a public place at least.

    Mania climbing over food like she’s on a jungle gym was beyond annoying. The only saving grave from the scene were the bystanders in the back watching, slackjawed from the tomfoolery

  • Cat

    My fave parts:

    Drunk Juicy attempting gymnastics and cracking his tooth.

    Teresa saying that she feeds her children healthy foods made from few ‘ingrediences’ and then buying them frozen pigs-in-a-blanket at the grocery store.

    I swear, Teresa is getting meaner and meaner each week. As her brother pointed out, she just cannot be happy for anyone else.

    • CacklingHens

      Juicy falling on his face was hilarious! I thought the first time Teresa said Ingrediences it was a mistake. Now I know that she really doesn’t even now that she is wrong. Sad.

    • Manuela

      The slo-mo replay of Joe cracking his head upon dismount was classic. I wouldn’t say that about everybody, but really, don’t attempt gymnasics when you’re drunk and over 40.

  • Ellz

    Glad to hear you’re safe!! I hope you’ll still do a full recap once you’re home sweet home!

    I feel you on feeling old Amanda, and I’m only 22. I didn’t even watch the VMAs this year, because I looked at the line-ups and nominees and didn’t know half of them.

    • suz

      Don’t you think it’s partially because they are not really very talented?

      • Ellz

        You know, I think you’re absolutely right. I get tired of seeing performances with wither lip syncing or just horrible singing. Don’t get me wrong, I love Adele and Beyonce, but I am so sick of “recording stars” who get on stage and sound like crap.

  • Jamie

    Does anyone else suspect that Joe Gorga is a functional illiterate? He had Teresa sign the cookbook for him and then made her read what she wrote out loud. This is the second time he has had someone else read something for him.

    Juicy Joe is an alcoholic and needs help. I felt for his daughter who was so clearly traumatized from his chipped tooth. I really feel for those children (even the holy terror, Milania), because they just do not have a chance having normalcy.

    • Jess

      I don’t think non Juicy is the brightest bulb, but I do think he’s smart enough to have people read stuff out loud so that the audience knows what’s going on even if the camera can’t see it. Joe is a moron and deserved to crack his tooth. What an idiot!!

      • RedHead


        Jess… I never thought of that with non Juicy & the reading. I thought he did it to make her suffer but I bet you are right about it being certain the camera/audience got it.

  • suz

    OMG….I am playing a rerun of last night;s episode in the background as I do household things……and I just screeched to a halt……as I heard Caroline, our wonderful Caroline, say….the atmosphere at the hookah restaurant “enveloped” her….as in an item you put into the mail…….I laughed out loud and wondered just how hard the folks in the editing room werre laughing as they cut this episode..

    • RedHead

      OMG! The “envelope” thing made me laugh out loud too!!!!

  • Jennimer

    The show was disturbing for a lot of reasons, but I think the thing that got to me the most is this: when they showed the petty texting spat between the two Joes, it was clear that Tax Cheat Drunk Driving Forgerer (TCDDF) Joe called his brother-in-law “faggot” when he saved his contact info. So the text battle showed “f#####” (tastefully blurred) sent a semiliterate text that TCDFF Joe answered even less comprehensively. Bad enough to use that as a negative label (raise those children right, Joe!), but it floors me that he’s ugly enough to save noTCDDF Joe’s contact info under that slur. THis show is getting unwatchable, and the housewives are the only reality franchise I allow myself to watch…what with NJ bigotry and BH suicides, I’ll soon have naught.

    • Icedcaramellate

      I noticed the contact info as well. I thought it was really crazy and childish for someone to type that in and save it under contacts.

  • ellenbakes

    Glad to hear that you were safe in the wilds of PA. Here in NYC we did extremely well in comparison to VA and NC that got the shite smacked out of them by Irene. The MTA has returned the buses and subways to operation so it’s safe to come home. LIRR is mostly back and the Metro North will be the last back because of the flooding, downed power lines and messed up tracks.

    Okay back to RHONJ.

    I don’t even know where to start, except to say that at least this one didn’t feel like a mish mash of cast off footage. This was a real episode that I mostly enjoyed watching, save for cringe worthy moments, or may because of them.

    As usual the Manzo’s were the best part of the episode and a veritable oasis of happiness and normalcy. Lauren’s opening went rather smoothly. And the t-shirts Lauren had to basically get made by herself, didn’t look half bad. Though if the image on the shirts was supposed to resemble Lauren it didn’t. But i guess she should be grateful that princess Ashley deigned to produce a design at all.

    Thankfully the Jacqueline/Ashley drama was kept on a leash and was not the star of this episode. Maybe because Ashley wasn’t wearing that ridiculous hat. Notice that whenever there is drama, she’s wearing it. Maybe it’s her way of telling us she’s about to do something we’ll want to kill her for.

    For the life of me I cannot understand who in the world would seriously hire the Albie/Christopher/Uncle Chris PR s-sisness to launch their product….black water or otherwise. I’ve seen that water in Wegmans this summer; but I passed on it mainly because I’ve been trained my whole life not to drink anything that looks/smells like their product. Good luck boys.

    Milania…sigh…what’s left to say. The child is rotten and through no fault of her own, really. Watching her maniacal romp through the grocery store was sort of like watching the path of a hurricane.

    The Gorga/Guidice family feud reached a new low; but there were a couple of highlights and surprises. Namely the reasonable attitudes of Melissa/Joe and the decency of the Wakilies when they showed up at T’s book signing. But of course in typical Teresa style she showed up late to her own signing and then later when her family showed up proceeded to piss on each of the olive branches she received from them. “Family is the most important thing.” Uhmm, okay T.

    Can we just talk a minute about the Juicy Joe gymnastics incident? Firstly, before all that, why wasn’t he at his own wife’s book signing? For that matter, why were ALL those family members in her home eating up the food and drinking with Juicy not at the signing?

    So by the time Teresa gets back the party, which doesn’t seem to be for or about her, it’s is in full swing and her husband is 13 sheets to the wind! Belligerent nasty drunk that he is, he trash talked T’s whole family, interspersing that with threats to his wife and then when you thought it couldn’t go south any further, decides he’s Mary Lou Retton. All around hard to watch and like the people around the table, including Teresa, I was trying to get to my happy place. Poor little Gia’s nervous breakdown (equal parts shame/hysteria) made my heart hurt and I’m sure even Baby Jesus wept.

    But, come to think of it I’m sure un petit bebe Jesus weeps on a daily basis with this crew.

    • Joyce

      my daughter and i read this recap and were hysterical, we were disappointed in irene running the recap we look zoo forward to, but this was great! it was a great episode and a great recap!

    • RedHead

      ellenbakes – while our Amanda is trapped in the wilds of PA and unable to delight us with her wit you have done tribute to her with your snarky (in a GOOD way!) review of last night’s RHONJ.

      Thanks for making me laugh just as I was feeling sad there was no Amanda recap today afterall:-)

    • suz

      Thanks for your recap…..

    • Ms. Z

      Thanks for your recap…great job! I too couldn’t understand why all the family was at Teresa’s house but not at the book signing. I just don’t get it and why was she so thrilled her brother showed up but I believe it when they say that was the first time she has ever invited them. Juicy Joe is a ticking time-bomb! Hope the cameras are not rolling when he truly explodes.

  • ottercat

    Manzo boys appear to be the generation that will fail from a “start your onw business” perspective. Dummies.

  • PhotoGirl

    So glad you’re safe. I’ve been looking at the storm footage coming out of Vermont. Horrifying!

    Not watching the Housewives anymore. It’s all fun and games until somebody dies.

    In my newfound spare time, I’ve been reading a great book by Vicky Tiel called “It’s All About the Dress.” What an interesting life she’s had.

    It would be great if you’d recap Project Runway; I’d love to hear your take on that!

    • Chris

      I too miss the Project Runway recap !

  • FallonLatrece

    I’m glad you’re safe. I have to say I’ve been refreshing the page all day waiting for your recap, totally forgetting about Irene. Forgive me. I just wanted your take on Miliana making the grocery store her jungle gym, Teresa having two cook books but still uses the non word indegredices. Too top it all off Juicy Joe being belligerently drunk in front of his kids, friends, and then how he talked to Teresa. Nasty. Plus him using the f word, disgusting.

  • Californiahousewife

    Juicy Joe=nothing worse than a mean drunk. Nothing like pushing your daughter out of the way, doing a “roll” and chipping a tooth. Basically both Joe’s have given Teresa the “or else” talk and will never speak to her again if she makes nice with the other Joe. A no win situation. Last sight: Gia crying over the adults acting like children.

  • Linda

    Glad you are both safe but this was one recap I was waiting for! I can’t wait for the next Norwegian to envelope me.

    • CacklingHens


  • Ellen

    So glad you are both safe! You didn’t miss much. I am starting to feel really sorry for the Guidice kids. I think they are mirroring what they see. They have been raised in front of the cameras, and their whole lives seem to be about creating drama. In fact I really think it would be better if BRAVO left the kids out of these shows. Not a healthy way to grow up, and pretty irresponsible IMO. It is only going to get worse on their trip to Punta Cana. Apparently, their is a brawl and an IL cop gets beaten up:

  • suz

    Bulletin, bulletin……the Real Housewives of New York were “evacuated” to Canyon Ranch in Lenox Mass (where they filmed a segment last season)…..evidently with no cameras in tow. How did you guys end up in a hotel room in PA?

  • Lisa in Oregon

    So glad you’re okay Amanda!!

  • P

    I don’t know about “yous”, but my favorite part of the whole show was watching Kathy suck on Richie’s stuck out tongue at the Hookah Lounge.


    Talk about revolting. Please, PLEASE for the love of God Bravo, spare us these disgusting Housewives “intimate” moments. Otherwise I’m seriously going to have to gouge out my eyes. Unfortunately, the images are seared onto my brain.

  • is_deirinn_me

    OMG! Juicy Joe is a raging alcholic (poor kids…), Richie Rich is an arrogant ass, Joe Jr. has a big case of little man syndrome and really does put on a show (Juicy was right on about that!) the only husbands that have a brain are Jacquelines husband and Papa Manzo…

    I also agree with P, I want to stab a pencil in my minds eye after watching Kathy & Richie’s make-out session (GAG)

  • Carla

    If you have a treasure like Milania, you don’t get to make phone calls while in the grocery store. You just don’t. Ever. Cross off story time at the library, too. Just sayin’.

    I felt bad for Juicy Joe. And then I felt even worse for feeling bad. I guess I didn’t like seeing someone with a problem being exploited. But then he laid into Theresa (tell me he doesn’t really think he’s a catch and she chose HIM??) and her family and was altogether ugly. So I’m torn. Obviously it’s so much harder in life to be the have not, and when your whole relationship is based on a competition for who has more stuff and you know you lost the game…it’s hard to not get nasty. I get pissy when I lose in Monopoly so I totally get it.

    And a mat that slides along a giant marble floor…is this really the first injury from that thing? Bad idea all around, even for the sober.