Last night’s episode of Gossip Girl stirred things up in a major way, and thank god that it did. On the Louboutin-clad heels of last week’s Chuck and Blair implosion, the writers saw fit to destroy two more major relationships on the show, perhaps just for the fun of it. Since I don’t root for any of these characters in particular (I prefer to root for chaos – it keeps things interesting), I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

The episode was still a bit boring from time to time, but the reintroduction of Carter Baizen, Little Jenny Humphrey’s machinations to break up Serena and Nate, Rufus’s somewhat belated realization that Lily isn’t at Canyon Ranch and Blair’s insistence on the finality of her breakup with Chuck kept things interesting and set up potential plots for weeks to come. Plus, Dorota got married! And Wallace Shawn made another cameo! And Eric has a bisexual maybe-hookup! The amount of ridiculousness in this episode was near first-season levels, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This episode picks up where the last one left off – Chuck and Blair have parted ways over a bit of Indecent Proposal-style girlfriend bartering on Chuck’s part, and both of them are having film noir bad dreams to mourn their lost lovers. Serena and Nate pay a visit to Chuck to keep him out of the liquor cabinet (he has a hidden flask, natch) and also encourage him to make a gesture and approach Blair before too much time has passed and she thinks he doesn’t care (a good bit of advice on Serena’s part – I was shocked. Shocked, I tell you.) Chuck seems to be receptive to their advice because, hey, what else does he have to lose? I mean, besides his hotel. He just got that back, he wouldn’t want to misplace it again.

Counting that as a job well-done, Serena dispatches Nate to talk some sense in to Blair while she “has breakfast with the Humphreys” (we’ll talk about why that’s in Quotes of Dubiousness in a moment), and Blair finally spills the details of why she broke up with Chuck to Nate – apparently no one else had been told. I found it kind of terribly believable that Blair would be too embarrassed by the whole thing to tell anyone, not only because Chuck set her up, but because she fell for it and was willing to sleep with someone she hates to close a business deal. Blair might be dastardly, but she’s still has her pride, and Chuck took that away.

She briefly reconsiders her thoughts on Chuck when he shows up to throw Dorota a last-minute wedding to Vanya in advance of her family’s arrival. They don’t know that she’s pregnant and they’ll disown her if they find out while she’s not married, so she has to get hitched and quick. She can’t do it at the courthouse because she thinks that will curse the marriage, and Chuck walks in at just the right time to donate a wedding – Blair loves a wedding, after all. The entire episode has us wondering if maybe…possibly…those two crazy kids might work it out.

While all of this was going on, Serena wasn’t eating waffles with the Humphreys like she said she was (please, like she’d eat the waffles anyway. She’s be having fruit salad and wheat toast.) In fact, she was meeting up with Carter Baizen, who left town several episodes back for reasons that I can’t remember and about which I don’t care. He’s still apparently the only person on earth that’s equipped with a daddy-finding GPS, and despite the fact that Serena left her father a passive-aggressive message about how he wasn’t looking for her anymore, she’s still looking for him.

Except she can’t tell Nate, because she also told Nate that she wasn’t looking for him, and she feels a little silly and embarrassed. He suspects that something is up when he sees Serena eat a croissant after she had supposedly been at breakfast, which seemed utterly ridiculous to me. Nate is not details-oriented. In fact, he’s not reality-oriented. He would have never been paying enough attention to realize that Serena shouldn’t have been hungry. He would have been too busy thinking about his flower arrangements (seriously, how long until he and Eric hook up?)

Speaking of Eric hooking up with dubiously straight men, remember that guy named Elliot from last week? Well, he has a girlfriend that he brings to Dorota’s wedding. But he is also maybe interesting in dudes. Eric, in particular. I wonder how his girlfriend would feel about that? Is she going to find out and try to kill Eric in a future episode? Only time will tell.

But anyway, now we have to talk about how the wedding events went. The night before, Rufus threw a traditional Polish (Russian? I’m starting to conflate the two cultures in my head) game night at Lily’s pad, which gave Blair and Chuck the opportunity to skulk around and make their wounded faces (in the case of Chuck, his wounded catfish face.) Dorota had asked them to escort her and Vanya down the aisle, which is apparently an Eastern European good luck tradition, and Blair was trying to work up the nerve to go through with it. She even went as far as asking Dan what he thought about her and Chuck, and when Blair Waldorf is seeking the council of someone that lives in Brooklyn, we know that the earth has started to come loose from its axis.

After speaking with Dan, Blair decides that she and Chuck really are meant for each other, but only because they’re both sick, twisted, terrible individuals that should be glad that someone will even have them. That might be true (and probably is), but it was likely a mistake for Blair to actually, you know, say that to Chuck. He got a little offended, of course, and it looked like things were back on the rocks. For what it’s worth, I didn’t entirely understand Blair’s assertion that she has become a worse person during her relationship with Chuck – she seemed just as bad, if not much more terrible, before. Since getting together with him, her plots and schemes seem to have become downright tame.

On the other side of the party, Jenny was oh-so-helpfully encouraging Nate to go through Serena’s purse and suspect terrible things of her. You see, Chuck got all mad at Nate (and insulted his hair! That’s like the worst thing you could ever say to Nate!) for judging him over the Blair/hotel swap and told him that his spies (I love that Chuck has spies) saw Carter Baizen at the St. Regis. Nate went there to…find him? I don’t know what he was doing…and Carter was smarmy and gave him an envelope to give to Serena. He gave it to her, she put it in her clutch (VBH!), and then Jenny went through her clutch with him and found it, and he got mad that she had a key to Carter’s hotel room. How dare she!

Does that not seem a bit…circular? Nate gave her the envelope. The envelop had the key in it. As such, her possession of the key doesn’t necessarily indicate that she had used it in any particular way, and he already knew why she had it. Still, Nate has the memory of a goldfish (seven seconds!) and immediately assumed the worst.

Soon after, Serena got a phone call from Carter and actually left the party to go with him to find her father, which did not help Nate’s suspicions one bit. Also not helping: Jenny, of course, who Serena called to pass on the message to Nate that she was going to find her father. As we all know, Jenny is trying to get Nate to investigate her ladyparts, so she just told him that Serena had left with Carter. Jenny wouldn’t be winning if Serena wasn’t making it so thoroughly simple to beat her. Also not winning: Lily, who Serena manages to find before Rufus does. In her father’s hotel room. Awkward.

But back to Chuck and Blair, since they’re the real story here. Chuck is still more than willing to play the part of the happy couple escort at Dorota’s wedding, but upon hearing Vanya speak so sensitively about his love for Dorota, Blair couldn’t pretend anymore and broke down in tears, ran off and ruined the whole thing. Which, you know, kind of makes sense – no matter what this show wants us to believe, no one really cares that much about the help anyway. Or if they do, like Blair seems to, she’s at least not particularly used to having to consider their feelings.

Dorota ran off after her to tell her that she wanted Blair to fall in love some day, the same kind of love that she has with Vanya. And that if that wasn’t what she had right now, then that was ok, that she’d have it some day. Blair’s nasty old mom had to interrupt the unimaginably sweet moment because her new husband had just uncomfortably pointed out to her that she was something of an absentee mother, and it seemed like the perfect time to start parenting her child. Since, you know, Blair is 19 and all.

The show closed out with Chuck and Blair’s final fight (although should we really call it ‘final?’ Is anything ever final in this show?), wherein Chuck told Blair that he thought they would be together until the end, and Blair told him that she it was the end, and I maybe felt that unfamiliar lump in my throat that we all get when something makes us a little emotional. I’m not too proud to admit it.

Leighton and Ed are easily the best actors on this show (in fact, they’re the only ones that don’t make the sometimes-awful dialogue seem completely stilted and unreasonable), and it’d be a shame if we never get to see them do scenes like that again. When compared to Nate and Serena’s collection of three facial expressions (between them, total), Chuck and Blair are the class of the series and I hope that they continue to appear together in scenes for as long as Gossip Girl shall live. But what would be better – the two of them together as a couple, or plotting against each other as enemies? The possibilities are almost too alarming to consider.

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Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • Shelly

    this episode was sooooo good!! i cant wait to see what happens with lilly and rufus!(fb)

  • Tamee

    I’m just too old to get into this show. (fb)

    • Mochababe73

      I agree. I love Gossip Girl, and my husband is in awe at how I am not to be disturbed while it’s on. My favorite part is how Nate is always so clueless. He’s purely eye candy. (fb)

  • pocochocoloco

    Great recap!
    Hm as far as Polish wedding tradition goes, it’s not a happy couple that escort the bride and groom. It’s actually believed that you cannot be a real couple if you are a maid of honor and a best man ’cause your relationship then may not last

    • Then the writer’s are just making stuff up, which doesn’t entirely surprise me.

  • Marian T

    i have never seen a single episode (fb)

  • abitnerdy

    Yay another GG rundown. I LOVE leighton and ed. Easily my favorite duo :) I sort of want to kick Jenny, but It adds to the show so yeah :) definitely drooled over the louboutins! (fb)

  • Mai

    I NEED TO WATCH MY DVR OF THIS!!!!! (after class today!!!) (fb)

  • Kate

    This show is starting to bore me mainly out of its desperation to not be boring.

  • Bex

    Great episode! Just dump Lily already Rufus! (fb)

  • Pat

    This is one of the better episodes I’ve seen. (fb)

  • savannah

    I dont know….this show just doesnt do it for me anymore. The show needs less (annoying) Jenny and boring Dan and more Georgina! (fb)

  • Jacqueline

    I just finished watching this episode. Full of drama. I agree with the above post…Jenny annoys me and why does her eyes always roll when she walks away from a conversation?!!? (fb)

    • Bavleen

      Jenny is PAIN.. And yes she rolls her eyes a LOT.. I wish there was much less of her in the show.. And lot more of Chuck and Blair <3.. (fb)

  • madz

    this bepisode made me sob. big time. i hate jenny. i feel so bad for blair and chuck…. waaaaaah! but nate, sans the acting, is so damn hot. i’m smelling ajenny-nate hook-up. bad, bad,bad. (fb)

  • madz

    carter left because of nate’s ex-fling’s family..(can’t rremember her name…the girl from the priviledged)… and he isn’t supposed to be back.. he’s supposed to be working his ass on an oil rig. i wish robert pattinson could be a part of the show. more awesomeness! (fb)

    • ana

      OMG RIGHT! what IS carter doing here, he SHOULD be working at an oil rig.. ahahhahaha.
      ugh i prefer chuck and blair together… the writers are getting super desparate to keep the storyline alive, but it wouldn’t to kill to have just one nicee episode where contrived drama doesnt happen.

  • Gelynn

    Me too. I haven’t seen one episode. (fb)

  • Issy

    why doesnt england have to be behind with gossip girl (fb)

  • Pamela

    I’m getting sick of little J (taylor momsen)…she’s starting to annoy me! SO sick of her rolling her eyes like a baby…and her hair annoys me!! She could be so much better and prettier. (fb)

  • Lizzie

    I wonder how much longer this show has…I feel the story lines are getting very weak…

  • Maria

    LOVE Dorota! (fb)

  • ad

    the humphreys are officially irrelevant since dan breaks up with serena. same goes with vanessa. but yeah, i doubt this show will last for so long perhaps another season and then everybody will move on? (fb)

  • giria

    is that real ? i can’t believe that! i am so happy!

  • Karin bag4bag

    I love this show ! I agree that Leighton and Ed are wonderful in this show. I quite like Little J character too, but the Nate character just annoys me. I actually met someone called Dorota the other day ! (fb)

  • Jacelyn

    I think the only thing that made me watch this is by getting fashion tips. :)

  • Jacelyn

    I think the only thing that made me watch this is by getting fashion tips. :) (fb)

  • weaslgrl

    Amanda, great re-cap as usual – you get an “A”. For me, what would make this an “A+” is to include info on the fashion & accessories (this is a purse blog, after all). Blair had two great dresses — red sleeveless shift near beginning of show, dress she wore to the wedding. Serena had another amazing croc bag (from which Nate plucked Carter’s note). Would love to know designers. Other than that, great job & thanks for doing this!

    • Serena’s clutch was VBH, Jenny mentioned it during the show. I’ve always mostly left it out since Gossip Girl’s fashion is already so well-documented and drooled upon by various other sites, and we cover a lot of what they carry while they’re filming over at BagThatStyle. I’ll consider adding more info, though, if I can find it in a timely manner after the show airs!

      • weaslgrl

        Thanks Amanda – you’re the best!

  • Amy

    Great episode, reminded me of why I watch the show! Loved the recap, it made me laugh out loud because it echoed my thought process when I watched the episode….”what was it that made Carter leave NY? I can’t remember, oh well whatever” (fb)

  • Monique

    WOW (fb)

  • joana

    i love DOROTA! :) she looks FAB! (fb)

  • Joy

    That’s cute! :)

  • bunny

    speaking of long boring never ending meaningless conversationed ridiculous plotted boring charactered series, has anyone been watching Heroes? it’s like season 5 or 50 now? u know, the one where sylar can now exist as a spirit and live in people who’s hands he touches? gawsh. some one please lobotomize me..on second thought, maybe i’ll just watch heroes, or on third thought, nah, i think the actualy lobotomy would have the same effect but less painful.

    sigh..i only watched Gossip girl for blair and chuck. the reast of the cast just doesnt cut it – serene is boring and predictable, jenny is childish and tween bitchy, vanessa is a totally stereotyped greenpeace charity loving person, Dan is somewhere between Vanessa and Nate, as in stupid but sometimes still spouts intelligent lines laced with greenpeace, Rufus is stereotyped “cool dad”, Lily is stereotyped upper east side society woman high class mom, Hilary duff and Georgina were just plain boring boring BORING attempts to spice up the show, and nate is nate.

    my favourite scene from gossip girl was the scene after nate archibald’s cousin’s inauguration where blair brings miss cabaret and serena brings mr.hasbeen drunken movie star – where Blair is lying on the bed and Chuck comes in and says “i tot u were going home” and Blair says “i decided to stay” and he says “I wish i had known, i would’ve come in earlier.” AWWWW. so candy apple sweet. sob. BRING BLAIR N CHUCK BACK U IDIOT GG WRITERS!

  • Tiff Chao

    I thoroughly enjoyed the episode and am happy Blair is not taking Chuck back. I’m not sure how I could ever forgive something like that.
    But overall, love the fashion and style as always. (fb)

  • gg girl

    great recap ! i think you’re my new favourite recappers ever ! EW is suck at recaps.
    you are much better.

    Leighton and Ed are easily the best actors on this show (in fact, they’re the only ones that don’t make the sometimes-awful dialogue seem completely stilted and unreasonable), and it’d be a shame if we never get to see them do scenes like that again. When compared to Nate and Serena’s collection of three facial expressions (between them, total), Chuck and Blair are the class of the series and I hope that they continue to appear together in scenes for as long as Gossip Girl shall live. But what would be better – the two of them together as a couple, or plotting against each other as enemies? The possibilities are almost too alarming to consider.

    and ITA what you said above. they made the show great. without them the show is crap because the only one who can act is them.

  • Gina

    God, I hate how biased and twisted most GG fans have become. Dan is not boring, Jenny is more complex and interesting than alot of the other character, and Dan, Jenny, Rufus, and Vanessa don’t deserve to be so hated and insulted when the more popular characters have worse personalities!!!! I have seen forums and pages just flat-out lie to make Dan seem like a horrible hypocrite when it is Nate and Serena who are the most hypocritical. People forget that Nate and Serena have committed the worst sins. They wrong people but love to judge others. It is so awful when Dan and Vanessa express disaspproval even if it is a little bit but it is okay for Serena and Nate to do so. I hate that they are ruining Jenny by trying to make her the other woman. I want her and Nate to get together in the future in a good way. Nate and Serena are the most scandalous.
    People forget that Nate cheated on Blair with Serena and did not seem to suffer any consequences. He committed adultery. Serena wrecked Blair’s relationship with Nate,
    acted like a poor victim when Blair had the right to not be nice to her, committed adultery with Tripp and was so *itchy about it. The way she treated Maureen was cold and vicious, yet hypocritically GG fans insult Maureen. Nate and Serena both have been inconsiderate to their friends. They both probably lie the most. Serena is back to the same ways she practiced with Nate, lying and then acting like her boyfriend is the brat.
    I want Nate and Serena to both cheat on each other. Serena deserves karma for being the other woman. They are both heartbreakers. Though I don’t want Jenny to be the bad girl. Why are GG fans so twisted when it comes to character judgement? Nate and Serena are the worst couple and lack chemistry. They did the smart thing by breaking up Chuck and Blair, because it was going downhill. I hope they get back together in the final season. I actually think Dan and Serena made a good couple but Nate & Serena shippers have blinders on.

  • sara

    have i mentioned how much i love reading these recaps? i keep asking my best friend why little J is going all fatal attraction!!!

  • sara

    ALSO! how gorgeous was doroda with her hair down and that makeup?

  • Adrienne Zedella

    no idea what this is (fb)

  • Mary

    Does anyone know where Blair’s moms dress is from?

  • Adrienne Zedella

    don’t know who these people are (fb)

  • Stephanie

    OMG. I love this recap. Only reason I watch the show (aside form the clothes) are Chuck and Blair. Love love lovvvve Ed westwick. Great recap!

  • Adrienne Zedella

    don’t know them (fb)

  • faith24

    love GG but i only seem to like 2 characters – Chuch and Blair… the rest of them are bit too boring. Serena acts and dresses like a… we all know what. Nate is more boring than brushing my teeth. Jenny is overly angry for whatever silly reason. Dan … no words. Vanessa is nice to look at. she does not need to talk though! (fb)

  • Matthew

    How many people here believe that rubber balloons existed in the 14th century?

  • Jocelyn

    I don’t watch Gossip Girl but I really want to win a Linea Pelle bag soooooooooooo bad (fb)

  • Lady Efe

    my husband is a very rich and welding man.will make the money together few month later,he started hooking up with bad friends .on my noted he was having an affair with another woman .the family lawyer call me an asked me if me and my husband had a miss-understanding ,because my husband has change the name writing on the wile.he took
    everything we have to the his girlfriend ,meaning that i don’t have any share in the family.i was frustrated and discourage.until a friend of my advice me to visit a spell caster so that all my problems will been solve within 48 hours then i contacted the spell caster she introduce to me.dr ogun spellcaster,drogun promise that every thing will been alright.few weeks later my husband came back home ,on his kneels begging,asking me forgive and forget about the past and face the future ahead.right now i am in full control of my husband access.a big thants to dr ogun who bring back my husband .if you have same problem kindly contact dr. ogun in his via