Jimmy Choo Whipstitched Fur Crossbody, $1336 via Neiman Marcus

When I discovered the Jimmy Choo Whipstitched Fur Crossbody on Neiman Marcus’s sale page (naturally) last night, my brain flooded with innumerable questions. Why had I never seen this bag before? Surely it had been around for a while if it’s now on the sale page? I trawl Neiman Marcus for things to write about nearly every day, how did I miss it? Did it go directly to the sale page, do not pass go, do not collect $200? Might this be the most heinously awful crime against humanity that I’ve ever seen from a major handbag brand, or is it too hilarious to really be bad?

I’m not even sure I know where to start. The bag apparently comes with its very own (attached!) bed of raccoon tails so that no matter where you place it, it’s sure to act as an extremely expensive Swiffer and attract all the loose dust in a twelve-inch radius. Not to mention that while you’re walking, that giant wad of fur is going to be dangling from your hip the entire time.

And then there’s the strap! It looks like the kind of thick, fancy rope that you’d find at an upholstery shop frequented by the Real Housewives of New Jersey. No, actually, this is what it reminds me of (if you don’t know where this is headed, skip to around 3:30):

If the whipstitched reptile-and-leather bag had been on a normal strap, it would have been a perfectly passable crossbody option, but with half a dozen tassles and yards of rope and pounds of fur, it’s hard to remember that there’s even a bag there. I could imagine this bag looking the part in a Russian-themed Vogue editorial, but beyond that, I hope that no one plans to actual purchase or carry it. Buy through Neiman Marcus for $1336 (was $1995).

P.S. Please consider supporting our small, bag-loving team by clicking our links before shopping or checking out at your favorite online retailers like Amazon, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, or any of the listed partners on our shop page. We truly appreciate your support!

Share Your Thoughts With Us


Featured Articles

The Latest Statement Piece from Gucci Is the Sylvie 1969 Plexiglas Mini Bag
A Look at the Incredibly Covetable Dior Ultra-Matte Bags
Michael Kors
Michael Kors Bets Heavy on New Logo Hardware for Its Collection Spring 2020 Bags

Join The List.

Get the latest on designer handbags and join 135,000+ and sign up for our newsletter.