Let’s get one thing straight: I don’t hate Valentine’s Day. That would require me to have any particular feelings about it at all, and to say that I do would be vastly overstating things. To me, V-Day is sort of like Cinco de Mayo. I always forget it’s going to happen, but when someone reminds me that it’s coming, it seems like as good a reason as any to have a few cocktails. And maybe a reason to eat a few enchiladas too, even though I’m aware that that’s only customary for one of those holidays. I just like enchiladas.

So when I got the email from Megs instructing me to pick a few V-Day things to write about, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to do. When I think of Valentine’s Day with a significant other, the only thing that occurs to me is that I’m going to get a free meal at my favorite restaurant, which isn’t even romantic (really, it’s a fusion taco place, and no boyfriend has ever believed me when I said that I wanted to go there on V-Day. They all thought I was trying to trick them and then took me someplace expensive that I invariably didn’t enjoy as much as my taco place).

Honestly, though, traditional romance makes me kind of squicky (is that even a word? I don’t know, but its sound when pronounced mirrors my feeling pretty accurately) and my eternal hope is that any guy who has my romantic attentions will respect that come Valentine’s Day. The most I want is an opportunity to wear a fab party dress, even if I eat a homemade meal in it, and perhaps a small gift and some flowers.

1. The right outfit: If you don’t think that I’d wear this Robert Rodriguez Glitter Sequin Zip Dress to my favorite taco restaurant or to sit in my own kitchen, well, you don’t know me very well. I would also wear it to blog in every day, given the opportunity. Never underestimate the diverse utility of a cocktail dress. ShopBop, $416.

2. The right bag: Instead of going for the obvious gold or black to coordinate with the dress, I’d go with the cobalt blue sequins of the Halston Heritage Evening Frame Sequin Clutch. The contrast is far more interesting than choosing something matchy-matchy, and on Valentine’s day, how much do you really need to be able to fit into your clutch? Net-a-Porter, $195.

3. Non-embarrassing flowers: No baby’s breath. I repeat, NO BABY’S BREATH. I don’t want an 80s bouquet or something that’s going to take over my desk and make everyone ask questions. I still love roses because red is my favorite color, but a clean, modern design like the Teleflora Dozen Rose Contempo is much more my decorative style. Teleflora, $69.95.

4. A personality-appropriate jewelry gift: I know that jewelry is customary even though I really don’t think guys should be required to pay for dinner AND provide a gift (my weirdness with receiving gifts is a subject for an entirely different post, however), and I’d rather have something that speaks to a knowledge of my personal preferences than something that’s bling-bling expensive. After all, it only takes so much time in my presence before everyone, even guys, realizes that I love obnoxiously large costume jewelry like the Fallon Jewelry Tigerlilly Choker. ShopBop, $220.

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