This Alaïa is the Best Thing I’ve Seen in a While

“Although the process can be challenging, it’s certainly not impossible with a good routine, persistence, consistency, and patience. Good luck!”

No, it isn’t an excerpt from the girl guide to snagging something on an SSENSE sale. The challenges implied pertain, in fact, to that of toilet-training a dachshund puppy – the hottest new accessory of the handbag world. Wait, what?

Well, if you happen to be a dog person, you might be aware that dachshunds are having a major moment now. Centrale Canine, the puppy pundits of Paris (yes, they exist), reported that dachshund ownership with the organization had increased by 4% in 2023, citing their small, oblong structure being better suited to city living.

But it’s not just dachshunds, puppers in general have somehow found themselves en vogue. Simon Porte Jacquemus’ spotted dachshund, Toutou, has its own Instagram, Pieter Mulier of Alaïa often brings his Labrador retriever, John John (jointly adopted with former partner Matthieu Blazy) to the atelier, while his predecessor, Azzedine Alaïa, famously named his Yorkshire Terrier, Patapouf, the sole heir to his fortune!

If, like yours truly, you don’t happen to identify as a dog person (but also are a purse person), fret not! Because the small and the oblong (and the four-legged, if you’re Thom Browne) are also trending within the bagverse, and we have, like, the totally important designer, Alaïa, to thank for that, too! Specifically, its Le Teckel bag, which, as if it wasn’t viral enough already, just got an office-ready makeover!

Gear up y’all; this bitzer means business!

Let’s Tackle the Teckel!

Quite literally the French word for dachshund, the Le Teckel, according to senior VP at Saks Fifth Avenue, Will Cooper, is “the newest, freshest shape we have seen in the market in the last three to four years. It feels like something people don’t already have in their wardrobe.” And in its wake, it has spurred a slew of slimline silhouettes that err towards the sleeker, east-west profile than the standard north-south.

In fact, the it-bag is only the latest among Mulier’s steady selection of pieces that have propelled the Alaïa label up the Lyst Index for the first time in its lifetime, ringing in after those much talked about – and shopped! – embellished Strass La Ballerines flats and the heartbeat of haute couture, the Le Cœur Bag, a dear homage to Azzedine’s SS92 Mon Cœur est à Papa collection.

But it’s the Teckel – likened to everything from its namesake sausage dog to Cadbury bars, hairspray cans, and landline phones – that firmly cemented Alaïa as a fixture of fashion, climbing 12 places to number 5 in Lyst’s Q3 report for 2024, and witnessing a 51% increase in demand, a miracle amidst an industrywide luxury slump.

That’s not to say, however, that the piece hasn’t been met with its fair share of polarizing reactions, like every fresh new piece that pops up on the haute horizons.

Plus, with dupes from houses high and low (both Khaite and Tory Burch have capitalized on the silhouette), the Le Teckel, initially an industry-insider darling, has now gone mainstream, bearing the banner of “sold out” and “coming soon” across most respectable retailers, and with “what fits” videos – veritable exercises of their own in Marie Kondo minimalism – trending on TikTok.

And really, isn’t it just a glorified pencil case?

The Bag Befitting the Bad Girl Herself

However, Alaïa wasn’t always the household name it is today.

In 1985, Grace Jones vaulted from the Eiffel Tower as Bond supervillain May Day in the Roger Moore film, A View to Kill, clad in an Alaïa catsuit. Ten years later, Cher Horowitz refused to bow down to a mugger at gunpoint with her enraged rejoinder, “This is an Alaïa!” – totally not worth sullying on the filthy LA floor.

Indeed, throughout much of Azzedine’s time at the Maison, the name Alaïa had come to symbolize female power and freedom—albeit only within highly classified couture circles that could afford his hyper-fitted pieces. This earned him the title “King of Cling” far before the Hervé Légers and Kim Kardashians of the world.

Yet, perhaps its sleekest (and sultriest) interpretation – in all its 90s minimalism and latent eroticism – appears in the 1992 Madonna music video Bad Girl.

Sixth in the songstress’ scandalizing album, Erotica, Bad Girl, Madonna is a high-flying New York career-girl by day and a deviant dilettante by night, a portrayal deeply depraved and utterly tragic, but also entirely glamorous: the lip-liner perfectly in place (even post-mortem!), lacquered nails and lace lingerie – you want it all.

What you really want, though, is that waist-whittling black Alaïa suit she rips out of a dry-cleaning bag after what’s probably the most stunning walk of shame on screen.

And if you can’t get your hands on that, the next best thing might just be Pieter Mulier’s latest reimagining of the Le Teckel – the wickedly angular Le Teckel Flap.

Clap for the Flap!

It’s undeniable – the Le Teckel has become a form of cultural currency.

Faran Krentcil of The Washington Post uses it to secure entrance into New York’s infamous Carlyle Hotel, Margot Robbie carried hers to Wimbledon, and that influencer you follow on Instagram is probably smiling ear-to-ear with her studded suede gifted edition from Richemont’s PR.

No wonder they’ve sold out everywhere.

But unlike the OG, the Le Teckel Flap hasn’t reached it-status yet. And if I were to guess, it probably won’t either, at least anytime soon. Because, unlike the original sharply scaled-up pencil-case silhouette, the Flap lacks the element of aspiration – the degree of divisive shock value that generally characterizes an it-bag.

Rather, measuring 4.7″ x 15.7″ x 7.5″ (compared to 4.3″ H x 13″ W x 3.9″ of the original) and only available in demure black and seasonal leopard, the Le Teckel Flap is the perfect everyday satchel to tuck under your arm and take to work, then to after-work, and then to the morning after, much like Madonna’s Bad Girl (fun fact: a similar Alaïa FW92 piece can be seen standing upright in the MV’s bar scene!)

In fact, in its restraint and its utility (not to mention the unexpected juxtaposition of those sensually curved handles slipping underneath the sculptural flap like the fingers of a paramour) lies a far truer manifestation of Azzedine Alaïa’s vision than any other purse the label, or any other label, for that matter, has to offer right now.

And much like Alaïa himself, famously calling out Karl Lagerfeld’s showmanship, Anna Wintour’s taste, and even more famously averse to advertising, the Le Teckel Flap speaks volumes with what’s unspoken. Because, at the end of the day, it refrains from pulling fashion’s easiest lever of fantasy. That’s what makes it so fantastic.