Ladies and gents, by the time you read this, I’ll be up in the air somewhere over the East Coast, headed to New York City with two suitcases that weigh as much as I do. (Combined, not individually. Let’s be real here.) And because I’m a procrastinator of massive proportions and spent most of yesterday evening frantically stuffing random articles of clothing into black Samsonite, we’re going to do things a little differently this week.
Last night’s episode wasn’t even particularly interesting and I spent most of it silently praying that someone would get flung off of the mechanical bull in particularly spectacular fashion, but since that didn’t happen, I’ve chosen a few topic of conversations that we can discuss. Or if there’s something else that’s on your mind about the show, we can talk about that as well. Let’s get things started…
Alexis totally blew up all of her friends’ spots last night. She drunkenly claimed that eight out of her ten girlfriends were cheating on their spouses, and as was pointed out afterward on Watch What Happens Live, that means that all of her girlfriends now have to nervously try and convince their husbands that they’re one of the two who isn’t. Not to mention that Alexis has lots of thoughts about gay marriage even though she thought Jesus would be ok with her getting divorced and then marrying a vapid, slobbering man-child for his fake fortune.
I hate Jeana Keough. I used to like her. I used to even feel sorry for her, because her husband seemed like such a giant piece of crap. But last night, when she was sitting there telling us all that we should look the other way when a man throws things at his wife’s head, any residual soft spot I might have had for her vanished. Rarely have I heard such a bass-ackwards series of thoughts come out of the mouth of a Real Housewife, and that’s saying something. Just because she has a low enough opinion of herself to stay with an abusive man for decades doesn’t mean she can bully women who are trying to do something about their own situations.
Vicki’s isn’t the only marriage in trouble. Alexis’ admission that she is in recovery from an eating disorder was perhaps not a shocker for anyone who’s familiar with massive insecurity and how it manifests itself, but the enthusiasm with which she talked about being on a trip without her husband and having girl time might have been. Just a few episodes ago, this woman had a meltdown at a dinner party because her husband wasn’t there, and now, she’s feeling all giddy about it. She seems like a person who knows she’s about to go through a breakup: Devastated one minute, hopeful the next.
I kinda sorta like Eddie. I know that not everyone agrees with me and that we can only tell so much from what we see on this show, but Eddie genuinely seems like a quasi-decent human being. Or maybe he’s just basking in the reflected glow of the rest of the cast’s collective awfulness, I’m not sure. Either way, I bet he’s a nice guy.
Does anyone know if Fernanda is a legit Housewife or not? Serious question, I have no idea.