Real Housewives of Atlanta fans, it has been far too long since we’ve seen each other. So long, in fact, that I had trouble remembering Cynthia’s name last night, but that might say more about her generally boring presence on the show than it does about the three week intermission that our Housewives so cruelly took over the holidays.

They were back at it last night though, with more talk of alien babies and southern traditions and what Kim will and will not do on a tour bus. Somewhere in there, Phaedra called Sheree a dime piece, but let’s never speak of that again, ok? But since I’m snowed in and couldn’t leave if I wanted to, it’s time to talk about the rest of last night’s shenanigans.

We started with Phaedra, who was planning a “Sip & See” party for everyone she knows to come over, get drunk and look at her kid. Because Phaedra is obsessed with being as stereotypically southern as possible, she discussed the impending party with Apollo while pealing a giant bowl of peaches for no reason in particular except for some vague mention of “preserves.” While these peaches met their untimely deaths, she and Apollo once again expressed their immense distaste at Kim’s insistence that her baby might be an alien, at which point it occurred to me that Phaedra might actually not realize that calling the baby an alien was a joke. But then again, this is the woman who wore an entire centerpiece in her hair; jokes doesn’t really exist in her world.

Over at Cynthia’s house, things were similarly unpleasant. Peter’s restaurant wasn’t doing well and he was having problems finding investors, and Cynthia wanted him to sell it so that they can put the money toward a wedding. She wasn’t clear about how that would help them continue to survive long-term, as far as mortgage payments or bills or being business owners go, but she was very clear that they needed to have a fancy wedding. Cynthia had very valid points about her personal cash investment in the business and how Peter keeps her in the dark, but putting those alongside a bunch of carping about a wedding that can be postponed or scaled down just made the whole thing seem petty.

Later in the episode, Cynthia and Peter sat down at home with Hill Harper, who is an actor and not a therapist in any way, to have a “couple’s therapy” session where they yelled at each other about the restaurant (which is now closed, if anyone cares) and then were instructed to tell each other what they love about each other. Peter had a hard time coming up with anything other than physical attributes for a second, but he verbally stumbled in to, “Uhhh, yeah, your soul,” and got himself off the hook.

Meanwhile, it was time for the Sip & See at Phaedra’s, which I intend to continue capitalizing for reasons that even I myself to not entirely understand. Everyone showed up to look but not touch, give gifts and drink some free booze and eat some finger food, but I’m not convinced that a Sip & See is an actual thing, and based on an informal Twitter survey during last night’s episode, neither are most of you. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but I also wouldn’t put it past Phaedra to fabricate a reason to have a party and receive presents out of whole cloth.

While everyone else ate, drank and talked amongst themselves, Phaedra and Kim took things outside so that Kim could smoke a cigarette and prove her nursing credentials. She had claimed to be an RN in the previous episode eight months ago, but her State of Connecticut license said LPN, but hey, she’s a nurse. Phaedra was wrong. That’s the upshot of all of this. They made some small talk about working hard to feed a family and doing what you have to do, but really, who cares? If no one’s flipping a table or tugging a wig, it’s time to move on to the next scene. This show isn’t about solving problems, it’s about starting them and holding on for dear life until the TV network that underpays you to make a fool of yourself in front of god and everybody couldn’t possibly squeeze anymore airtime out of said problem.

In Nene’s corner of the world, she was barefoot and shooting some in-studio stuff for her fake job as a local entertainment reporter. Living in Atlanta, I’ve seen Nene’s local TV work in the wild, so to speak, and she’s…uh…not particularly good. Being on camera is hard when you’re doing things other than acting crazy, swilling booze and hollering about people’s husbands and wigs and vajayjays. Lines? Lines are hard, y’all. So is holding a microphone and speaking at the same time.

At Kim’s house, she and Sweetie were preparing for her Kandi’s bus tour by shooting Kim full of vitamin B12 and terrifying her children, which were actually separate incidents. Her oldest daughter was freaked out by the fact that both Kim and Sweetie would be leaving on the tour for a full week, which struck me as kind of odd. Kim leaving was one thing, but Sweetie too? Perish the thought. Bring on the tears. We don’t want to live in a world without Sweetie in it.

In Brielle’s defense, she is still a kid. Nene, on the other hand, has no such excuse for her failings in this episode. She went to interview Jermaine Dupri and made an absolute horse’s ass of herself by bringing her kid along, doing no background research into Jermaine’s career and asking inane questions that Jermaine clearly had no interest in answering. So much so, in fact, that he chose to distract her with an impromptu basketball game. Because Nene is more interested in being friends with celebrities than she is in doing her fake job, she took off her shoes, got on the court and completely forgot about the need to ask questions in order to technically consider what you’re doing “interviewing.”

Speaking of people making asses of themselves, Kim proved herself to be not exactly the person with whom you want to be confined to a bus for a week. She wants to smoke inside, she doesn’t want to sleep in a bunk, she doesn’t want to hear any instructions from Kandi’s assistant and she’s generally a spoiled brat. They took her to a little hole-in-the-wall redneck bar, presumably somewhere between Atlanta and Charlotte, so that she could get her daily serving of white wine and Kandi’s assistant, Don Juan (he appeared to be serious about that name), could have a chance to call her a hippo and a homewrecker outside the confines of the bus. Because doing so inside would have resulted in a full-scale brawl and possibly a serious bus accident, I’m going to call this decision a net win.

Not that such things aren’t likely to happen in the future. After Sweetie wrangled Kim into getting dressed and pointed her at the stage, the show went just fine and everyone loaded back onto the bus, only to find that Kim and Sweetie still hadn’t managed to come to terms with the fact that they’d be sleeping on a bus, thereby causing them to wake up all of the sane people who were just trying to get a little shut-eye. They might throw those two into traffic yet.

With all of that in mind, though, I have just one question for us to ponder until next week’s Kim/Nene Smackdown 2011 – how did Kroy Biermann send flowers to a bus?

Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • Alyson

    Yes, I have heard of a Sip & See. But it was in the context of friends going to a bride-to-be’s house and viewing her clothing trousseau. Very old fashioned idea, but cute.

  • RedHead

    This episode left me with more questions than answers:

    *Why does Kim need an Assistant?
    *Why would Cynthia even consider marrying that guy?
    *What does Dwight actually do again?
    *Why does Andy Cohen have WWHL guests that are not Housewives and Jeff Lewis? (Last nite was a Zzzzzz)

    You know I’m sure I come off as a “Housewives” snob here (Hee Hee…insert applicable oxymorons here) but now that I have met the ladies of RHOBH the other ladies and their respective shows fall back to a distant second in my estimation.

    Amanda – your blog is one of the best parts of the RH franchise:-) (ipad)

  • Tonya

    These Ladies are all over the place! (ipad)

  • Mochababe73

    Sip and Sees do exist.
    If a woman has say a 2 year old child. Instead of having another baby shower, she has a Sip and See. You are to sip tea and see the baby. This is also a time to bring gifts if you so desire.
    I even read about it in the book entitled Momzillas, and it’s set in New York. But, I knew about it beforehand. Since my kids are 6 years apart, I had a shower.

    • Mochababe73

      Oh, yeah. Dwight owns a couple of very successful hair salons in Atlanta. I’ve even been to the website.
      (iPad)

  • Tonya

    @ RedHead – Dwight is the owner of the Red Door Hair Salon. It is a very popular hair salon in Atlanta…I think there is more than one location. (ipad)

    • RedHead

      Hmmm… A business owner? I stand corrected then:-) Thank you Tonya!

  • Sue E

    ugh..tired of these shows where women are making fools of themselves for money..btw whatever happened to Kim’s Bentley that Big daddy gave her? (ipad)

  • Alexandria

    I had to google sip and see to figure out if it was real. Apparently it is. I thought this episode was pretty boring but next week looks explosive. BH might be taking over as my favorite installment though. (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    They’re all crazy. (ipad)

  • Shana

    Wow, nuts (iPad)

  • erica

    sip and see? I prefer a slip and side myself.

    Cynthia, why are you sitting talking to this new version of Dr. Tiyee, RUN. Why are you sitting and not sprinting?

  • Leng

    Phaedra is crazy… sip and see!! LOL (ipad)

  • Tonya

    @ RedHead – I was wrong it’s not the read door it’s called the Purple Door lol

  • shallowgal

    I have to admit, I don’t watch the ATL show…. but I love Amanda’s recaps so much I just have to read them and don’t have to bother watching. It’s a win-win situation, as far as I am concerned. Here’s another vote for BH as one of the top RHs though. Next up? NYC. I can’t wait for that cycle of the franchise.

  • Elizabeth

    i hate-love that show (ipad)

  • LDJ

    Im from GA and I have never heard of an S&S myself, but since others have, I guess it exist. Nice recap Amanda, but for some reason, I guess I have fell off the RHOA ship, thanks to the long wait and the return of Basketball Wives; Oh and let me not forget the women of Beverly Hills. For some reason, the have become more intriguing than the ATL Cast. But I gots to catch next week episode, NeNe is going to be on the bus. Oh yeah!!!!!

    • LDJ

      Dangit! I forgot to say…(ipad) :)

  • quimerula

    It doesn’t seem my cup of tea… (ipad).

  • Chanelle

    Once again, they have found another group of crazy women! (iPad)

  • Joy

    Amanda–

    I LOVE your recaps!! I really don’t understand what Cynthia adds to the show. I really enjoyed WWHL too! (iPad)

  • Jennifer Taggart, TheSmartMama

    I don’t want RHOA, but I do read your hilarious recaps. (ipad).

  • Jen

    ^ Same here, Jennifer (ipad)

  • Danielle

    I am starting to believe that Phaedra does honestly believe these women think her baby is an alien.
    She is completely delusional and seems to totally forget that SHE is the one who told them that the little bundle of joy was fully developed and ready to come out at 7 months old. And now her and that poor dolt she is married to are acting like these women had nothing better to do than sit around and discuss how done her bun was. She is definitely more entertaining than Camille from BH.

  • Britney Anderson (Saenz)

    I haven’t seen the show yet but all these articles are really making me want to. Looks hilarious! (ipad)

  • cl

    haven’t seen this eppy yet but i can’t wait to read this after i do!! (ipad)

  • Sherry

    saw this last night (ipad)

  • Sherry

    funny (ipad)

  • S.J.

    i didnt know kim was a nurse (ipad)

  • itillliee

    LMAO very funny. (ipad)

  • S.J.

    she should have stuck to her day job lol (ipad)

  • EllenNotAfraid

    Yep there are such things as “Sip & See.” Basically it’s an informal type of baby shower. Cross between a baby shower and cocktail party. Sounds good to me! Funny enough Phaedra didn’t bother me at all this episode. However, Kim sure did especially after her daughter’s near breakdown upon hearing Sweetie would be gone for 7 days. Not her mother…but Sweetie.

    I know Hill Harper has written books on relationships and family; but I was unaware that he was “counseling.” Peter, oh Peter how I want to slap the taste out of his mouth every time he dismisses Cynthia. AND SHE STILL MARRIED HIM!!! GRRRRR!! (taking deep yoga breaths).

    PS: WWHL was ridiculous. Regina and Jackee were BOMBED out of their minds and talking shit, which made it a train wreck I couldn’t look away from nor could Andy control it. Bravo=Booze Ready Awaiting Victims Overindulging

    • Manuela

      Jackee and Regina were just schmammered enough to talk $hit but just sober enough to keep it this side of a defamation lawsuit. Though one more drink would have surely pushed Regina over that line! She was nearly incomprehensible by the end of the show!

  • Jenn

    sip and see hehe (ipad)

  • Jenn

    crazy women (ipad)

  • Jenn

    train wrecks are interesting haha (ipad)

  • Nikita

    Can’t stand watching the show but love reading these recaps! (ipad)

  • Chells

    Good point – how did Kroy send flowers to a bus? I feel sorry for those in the bus with Kim. She’s annoying, ungrateful and won’t stop complaining! That’s enough to make the sanest person go mad. (ipad)

  • Bagolicous

    Peter is just too creepy. And I totally don’t get Cynthia. I thought she didn’t want to be controlled by a man and then she goes off and marries an obvious controlling man?

  • Tracey G

    funny–these women are crazy! (ipad)

  • helen

    Never heard of a sip and see until now. And I’ve never seen any of the real housewives shows. There’s one of those shows in my state. I may have to consider. (ipad)

  • Melissa

    Finally watched on the DVR and caught up on the episode –

    I live in Charlotte and have been to the Thirsty Beaver, where Kim and Kandi went, several times and it is an awesome dive bar. It beats some of the wannabe LA-type clubs in Uptown Charlotte hands down in my book..

    Phaedra kills me with her parties but I appreciate the alliteration of the Sit & See…

    Thanks for the great recap, as always!

  • PhotoGirl

    The Atlanta franchise bores me now, but I will never tire of your recaps, Amanda. I simply cannot understand why Bravo hasn’t yet hired you to do this job. Andy Cohen should invite you to be a guest on WWHL. In fact, I think I’m going to suggest this to him via Twitter! (ipad)

    • suz

      Well, that wouldn’t work. If Bravo hired Amanda, than she couldn’t “tell it like it is”. And. that wouldn’t be any fun at all…..

      • PhotoGirl

        Very good point, Suz! It would spoil all the fun if anyone tried to tell our Amanda what to write. (ipad)

    • Manuela

      Photogirl, I agree that Amanda would be an awesome WWH guest! And as long as she was never actally hired by Bravo she could still say what she pleased.

      Come to think of it, you can still pretty much say as you please on WWH, even if you are on the Bravo payroll. Remember Kelly (RHONY) insisting to Andy last year that the other ladies were in cahoots with Bravo to “attack her” on Scary Island? It’s the one time I thought Andy was at least considering slapping a square of duct tape over her mouth.

  • oohlala13

    can you have a sip & see for yourself–Although what people are supposed to be seeing i’m not sure! Maybe just my drunk behind! LOL (ipad)

  • suz

    I didn’t/couldn’t watch the whole show…too-o-o-o boring…just dipped in and out enough to totally enjoy the recap. I feel like these women are a collection of Weeble People bobbing around bumping into each other….the three D’s….dumb, dumber and delusional. Thanks for the recaps, however. At this point we’ve all invested so much time in these folks, it’s nice to keep up with them….no matter how boring.

  • jennicer

    What’s the xeal with (ipad)? Sorry cor beinv dense… (nook :))

    • Danielle

      I think it’s because Apple is so impressed with themselves that whenever you post something from your (ipad) it feels the need to let you know.
      Like maybe people thought it was just a giant (kindle) or (nook) but they want to make sure to justify the extra $300.00 you pay for an (ipad) over a (netbook) :) But what do I know…I still use a (dell) desktop. ;)

      • suz

        I’m finding it very irritating. (HP)

  • nick

    I love how Kim is smoking and drinking right before her performance. LOL. (ipad)

  • jillybean307

    Amanda, your recaps are always so hilarious. (ipad)

    • D

      Amanda, I have to agree…reading your “cliff notes” version is way better than watching this show. Keep up the good work!! (ipad)

  • Cindy

    Scrolling through for the (ipad)

  • mango

    nene’s interview embarrassed me (ipad)

  • Tracey G

    too funny!! (ipad)

  • Adrienne C

    i think i fell asleep during this episode. I’m going to have to catch a rerun (ipad)

  • Kim

    The show is a guilty pleasure, for sure1 (ipad)

  • Ladonna

    Obviously Peter is with Cynthia because she made the cardinal mistake and #1 rule breaker, she gave substantial money to a man before she was married to him, and shes a damn fool to give him money to begin with, if a man is already successful, he has other places to obtain additional funds if need be. Yes, Phaektra loves to stress how “southern” that she is, however, I find that very odd considering how the south really was even 20 years ago. Not that it is right, moral or even legal, but she knows good and damn well, no one in the true South, would have ever referred to her as a “Southern Belle”, c’mon!!!I have lived in the south all of my life and I have never heard of a Sip and See. I am not doubting that they exist, however not many people actually have them. At least no true old time Southerners that I know. And if I could not be relied on to wash my hands and not kiss the baby on his face, I don’t think that I would go to your house, EVER. Also, regarding the peaches, I don’t know what kind of preserves she thought she was making, but you could tell those peaches were hard as hell, probably green (not ripe) and there is no way in hell that she was making preserves, which I have done, standing up there with no jars, no boiling water, no canning equipment, if she did, no one better eat them, I’d be afraid of botulism. As I said, Phaektra is a very appropro name for her. I actually think Apollo is more real than she. Then we find out she actually knew Apollo for a period of time before he went to prison-how could she not know how he was making his money???I could go on and on and on, lets suffice it to say, I can’t wait until the next one!

  • Melissa

    Yes how do you send flowers to a bus? I guess if a production crew is following your recipient around, anything is possible. Loved you recap more than the episode. I’m getting board with this ladies. (ipad)

  • Jen

    I look forward to the images you post with these recaps. (ipad)

  • Bee

    I love your recaps! I don’t even watch the show anymore. LOL. I did catch the scene with Hill Harper and I can’t believe Cynthia and [don’t know his name] got married!(ipad)

  • samantha

    LOL what is cynthias last name??
    shes just kinda there (ipad)

  • Nikki_B

    Your recap is better than watching it on HULU (IPAD).

  • Lina

    reality tv is not my cup of tea!(ipad)

  • Quinn

    I’m sorry even though this is hardly reality TV, it’s so entertaining that I must tune in. The Phaedra and Apollo relationship never ceases to amaze me. He was in jail for 6 YEARS!!! (ipad)

  • KY

    Great show! (ipad)

  • Emma Glass

    Not seen this show yet (ipad)

  • Elaine

    You make very detailed recaps! (ipad)

  • beanyce126

    this episdoe of RHOA was just Hilarious, there is not such thing, they treat that get together like something a KING And Queen would host, they LIVE in ATL, not ENglad, lol! (ipad)

  • beanyce126

    regarding the B12 shot that just nuts with KIM Z and Sweetie, i guess that why she works for her, bc they both can handle each others crap. (ipad)

  • ali

    That is NOT how you peel peaches. (ipad)

  • Courtney

    great recap. i really think the phaedra-isms make this season so enjoyable! (ipad)

  • Smith

    argh i missed this ep! thanks for the fabulous recap! (ipad)

  • Deborah Curran

    Sorry but I can not stomach this show – ipad

  • Desaria

    haha omg (ipad)

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