I’m having trouble coming up with words to describe last night’s second installment of the Real Housewives of New York Reunion other than “shouty” and “annoying,” which probably gives you a pretty good indication of how things went, even if you didn’t watch the show yourself. And if you didn’t, mazel tov. You’re smarter than we are.

I didn’t hate this season of Real Housewives as much as some of you did, but the reunions have really worn me down. I couldn’t be more pleased that we’re only getting one episode of Housewives per week until the Beverly Hills ladies return in early September, because it’s starting to feel like Bravo’s beating a dead horse. We need a break, or at least I do.

1. Ramona was still sticking to her story about LuAnn’s video. If Ramona didn’t want to help LuAnn because she doesn’t like her, she should just say that. Especially now because her “logic” has been so thoroughly destroyed. NONE of us like LuAnn. We’d all understand!

2. Jill is still horrible. And that’s exactly how she should be. They showed some clips of her being snippy, catty, mean and generally talking behind people’s backs in every way possible, which more or less put to rest any argument Jill could make that she’s changed. She hasn’t! And she shouldn’t, because even though I kind of hate her half the time, the other half of the time, I think she’s hilarious. If Jill were suddenly nice and cuddly and always forthright to people about her feelings, she’d cease to be Jill. And you saw how much camera time Kelly didn’t get this season because she was sane…

3. We’re still not sure if Ramona is an alcoholic. The brunettes seemed sure that she had a problem, the blondes weren’t so sure. Might she be? Maybe. But I don’t think there was any absolute indication one way or the other from the footage that we all saw, and the way that the brunettes latched onto the idea so happily wreaked of collusion. (As did the way they went after Alex. Put a pin in that, we’re going to talk about it later.)

I think the discussion of Ramona’s on-camera drinking habits was fair, though. Not only is it something that fans have been wondering about for at least two season now, but if Ramona didn’t want anyone to get that idea, perhaps the first words out of her mouth every time someone pointed a camera at her shouldn’t have been “pinot grigio.” What wasn’t fair, though, was the fact that her initial reaction to questions about her drinking habits was to tell the world that Jill’s in Alcoholics Anonymous.

That little shitfit was bad for a couple of reasons. First, I don’t think Jill’s actually in AA. If she were, we would know it by now, and I don’t ever remember hearing any whispers about it at all. Second, IT’S AA. It’s anonymous, and outing someone who’s in AA and who hasn’t yet chosen to out themselves is just about the crappiest thing you can do. It was kneejerk defensiveness at its finest, and it actually made me more likely to believe that Ramona does have some sort of problem that she needs to address. Misdirection doesn’t work with me, missy.

4. We got a guided tour to LuAnn’s condescension and it was fabulous. The key to LuAnn’s meanness has always been her ability to deny that anything she says is meant in a mean way, but when it’s all played back-to-back like that, she fumbled for some sort of excuse as to why those things weren’t actually mean. But it’s classless to correct someone’s pronunciation in public, let alone all the other stuff she’s done.

LuAnn also didn’t seem to grasp why people might hold her to a different standard of behavior, and she actually said that she’s not trying to teach anyone anything about behavior. Did she forget that she wrote (“wrote”) that book about how everyone should act? Was it not intended to be instructive, and did she not hold herself out as an expert on proper behavior and etiquette? If you want to be a total hosebeast (y’all loved that word last week, so here it is again, just for you!), don’t also seek to profit by telling others what’s wrong with how they go about their daily lives. You can pick one or the other, but not both.

5. Everyone hates Simon. Although still, no one could produce any actual “mean tweets,” and Alex pointed out that if they had existed, someone would have seen them or found them by now. Which is true! And at this point, I don’t think that they ever actually existed, because Jill is good enough at this game to know that she should print stuff like that out when it happens so that she can refer to it later. But still, “watch out” is creepy as hell. I’ll give them that. Telling someone to “watch out,” particularly a man saying it to a woman, is not making Simon’s argument any better.

Of course, the elephant in the room when Alex’s defense of Simon is being picked on is that none of these women actually like each other but Ramona and Sonja. If you were surprised thatAlex doesn’t care if Simon calls Jill a c-u-next-Tuesday, you haven’t been paying attnetion. I doubt Jill would stop Bobby from saying the same thing. Wouldn’t you side with the dude you married over those people too? Even if he’s being kind of vulgar and annoying? I know I would. Hell, I’d side with my dentist over those women.

6. They’re not big fans of Alex either. I know that some of you are completely convinced that Alex is malevolent, and to be honest, I do not understand your reasoning. At all. Sure, she’s a little awkward at times and makes some frightening faces when she’s flustered, but the Brunette team seems to have gotten together before the reunion and decided to work together to make sure that she never finished a sentence, answered a question in full or otherwise had an opportunity to express herself in any kind of reasonable way. If they hate it so much when Alex gets red and anxiety-ridden, why don’t they lay off her and let her finish a thought?

Because they’re trying to push her off the show, that’s why. And maybe they’re just doing it to get rid of Simon, or maybe it’s because they’re the kind of people who always need a target. I’m not sure! But whatever the reason, all four of them decided to hate Alex simultaneously. And I’m sure the irrational Alex haters loved it, but based on the Twitter reaction, most people just found it tedious and mean. (I’m one of those people.)

7. Ramona spent some time reading Morocco’s Wikipedia entry. She had literacy statistics and everything, presumably to prove that she’s not the reason that everyone hates America. But she is! People like her are exactly the reason.

8. I’m sick of Kelly. For me, that was the big takeaway of the entire reunion fiasco. Kelly had garnered a lot of goodwill from most regular Housewives viewers during the season by making what was seemingly an about-face from Crazy Kelly on Crazy Island last season. And in a single reunion’s time, she squandered that goodwill and returned straight to the petty, nonsensical, mean-spirited bimbo she had been for the entirety of her time on the show thus far. She spent all that time and energy being even-keeled and reasonable, and then she ruined it for herself.

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  • Matthew

    I can’t believe you didn’t mention how Jill actually told LuAnn to her face that she is passive-aggressive. I LOVED that, despite the fact that I don’t like either of those two people. When someone you like tells you you’re passive-aggressive, maybe it’s true!

    And I completely agree with you on Alex. I like her. She doesn’t always come across the best, but she’s far superior to the brunettes. In fact, I’m Team Blonde all the way.

    Finally, regarding Kelly, I actually sat there last night and thought to myself, “I’d like to punch her in the face.” I know that’s horrible and mean, but she’s so obnoxiously irritating, irrational, and petty. She’s one of those people I’d have to force myself to walk away from because she’s so out of touch it would be impossible to have a conversation with her.

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      I forgot about that, although I mentioned it during livetweeting last night. It as amazing to me that LuAnn continued to be pretend-baffled by all of the accusations, no matter how direct everyone was with her about how mean she is.

      And I believe that I said I’d like to set Kelly on fire last season, so I’m definitely not judging you for being violent. She’s extra-special frustrating.

  • Matthew

    I’m not a violent person, I swear! It’s just a thought that came to mind! We all have them.

    (I’m pre-answering any flack I get for my punching comment! ;-) )

    • Nancy from SB

      I agree with you, Matthew – and I am embarrassed that I sat and watched a show that made me want to smack someone. Watching the constant eye-rolling and smirking from Kelly (AND Jill) and listening to the barrage of negative, insane shouting from Kelly, all directed towards Alex. Talk about ganging up!

      WHY does Andy let Kelly get away with never answering his questions? (Ex: “after your anti-bullying campaign, how do you explain YOUR own bullying of Alex in Morocco?”) Dodged the question completely as usual. Maybe he’s just given up.

      Thanks Amanda, for point #6. I appreciate Alex’s calm, thoughtful demeanor, and well, the fact that she does possess some class- unlike the others! I admired her quick thinking during the reunion and wondered why Andy would allow her to be “attacked” (the housewives favorite word – and this time it applied!) by her cast-mates.

      And the Countess & Jill making fun of someone’s face turning red – (right after demanding an apology from Ramona over her stepdaughters birth mark) – talk about classless! I hope the rumors about them replacing the entire cast are true, much as I would miss Alex and Ramona.

      I loved that Andy brought up Bethenny Frankel and all her successes, and laughed out loud at their answers….”oh, she’s finally caught up to us…” Yeah, right, “Count-less”.

      These reunions used to be interesting – then he had those tacky Miami women just shouted over each other so loudly not a word was understood. Orange County followed suit, but I never expected such vile behavior from the NY crew. I hope the brunettes are duly ashamed of themselves. (and I am on NO one’s “team”).

    • deejah

      I’d punch her. Twice.

  • Sandy

    I’m not a fan of anyone in this group, but it really bothered me that all the brunettes ganged up on Alex. Jill has thrown around the bully word all season, but it was her and the rest of her couch who were disgustingly bullying Alex the whole night. Yes, Simon is a weirdo and Alex doesn’t really fit in with the group. I still think she’s intelligent, not mean spirited, and just has a hard time being confrontational. They all used her as their punching bag.

    Kelly is such a moron. I think she bothers me the most. WTF is she even talking about half the time? And Cindy. Yuck. She needs to start smiling and get off this show. She was particularly miserable during the reunion episodes.

    I’m not a fan of the blondes either, but the brunettes were intolerable for the whole reunion. I can’t help but feel bad for Alex, and at least Sonja and Ramona seem fun!

    Andy needs to get rid of these miserable people ASAP. They don’t deserve to have their own TV show.

  • CacklingHens

    I’ve been waiting for this. Where do I start?

    1. I like Alex. I hate Simon. I believe the reason they all treat Alex like that is because they think that she is beneath them. Kind of like when Kelly told Bethenny she is here and she is there (something like that). Hence the reason they keep talking about her being a social climber. They did gang up on her and went for her neck. She does tend to choose the wrong times for confrontation but I really don’t get the impression that she is being mean spirited. Just a tad defensive, but who wouldn’t be defensive against those pack of wolves.

    2. Kelly – who the hell does she think she is? The entire season she seemed sane, and as Amanda said in one reunion she went right back to her crazy self. She reminded me so much of the Kelly from her 1st season. Condescending and rude. The one who showed up late for parties, stayed for a minute then left. She loves attention, that one! I think KooKoo Kelly may have blown the lid on this entire thing. They are acting!! She keeps telling Alex, RE-ENTER, That’s not a good line! SMDH, she is a nutcase I tell you.

    3. Cindy is unnecessarily mean and bitter. Her kids are her accessories, trying to play up this single mother thing. She used that man for his sperm and tossed him. She was not necessary this season and like the rest of them should be cut. I wish they could be voted off each week, like many other shows.

    4. Jill is the most disgusting person I have ever encountered on a reality show. If I didn’t like her before after this reunion she certainly made it clear. That burlesque episode that Sonja did, she said so many awful things under her breath and then hugged her at the end. HUH!!! Seriously, she would never be friends with Alex, no matter how much she pretends that she has changed. I wish she would just go away. She has an awful potty mouth and seems so pretentious and entitled.

    5. LuAnn is pretentious and condescending. No other descriptions necessary. Jacques better run, she would never marry him. She will take that Title to her grave. She would probably sacrifice her riches to hang on to being called the Countess. That sums her up in a nutshell.

    6. Sonja, is oversexed, but she seemed likable after the first few episodes. She came off her high horse and was real again. Rein in the sexy talk and she would be fine.

    7. Ramona, says what she means and means what she says. She should stop apologizing and be mean and crazy. She and Jill is so much a like, the difference is Jill sets out to be mean, Ramona just happens to stumble upon it. Unfiltered and all!

    Sorry about the essay, but the season is over. Just thought I would let it out. :-)

    • Lisa in Oregon

      I agreed with every word! :)

    • stilettolife

      Completely agree with you. My thoughts exactly.

    • TheDecorGirl

      Well said!

  • Emily

    The brunettes just all seem like unhappy, bitter, mean women. They were so rude to Alex during the reunion. It was nauseating to watch. I, too, really enjoyed Jill telling LuLu she was passive aggressive. I think she’s the only one who finds her behavior to the other women to be kind and gracious, as she has reminded them during any and all arguments.

    As a side note, I never found Kelly sane this season. She still made nonsensical remarks and seemed batty. She was a real wench during the reunion. My favorite Kelly moment though this season has to be her remark during a WWHL show about how Bethenny’s success should only be attributed to Bravo’s ability to make a star made me want to slap her.

    • Matthew

      Glad I’m not the only one who wants to slap (punch) Kelly! I agree with you. I personally wanted Kelly to STFU when she was yelling at Alex to calm down. YOU calm down!!! Ugh.

      For me it’s always been a tie between Kelly and Danielle (RHNJ) for most irritating housewife, but now that Danielle’s gone, Kelly wins. At least last year Bethenny was there to say everything I wanted to say. This year Kelly gets to run free. It’s disgusting.

    • b21

      Oh, dont forget Kelly also said that Bethenny didnt drink her own drink (aka Skinny Girl Margarita). I really dont think Kelly “gets” it, it’s like she’s seething inside about it all. On a side note, Bethenny was much more subtle than Ramona in self-promoting her drink, dont you think? Ramona kept coming at you with her pinot, arms flailing, whacking you in the head with it every chance she got which I think made her brand look kind of bad and desperate. I started thinking of it more in the lines of a “2 buck chuck”, you know the kind of wine you buy in bulk to get wasted at a party or on vacation. Bethenny took all her opportunities to slip in her drink here and there promoting its name and such, but she (and later Jason) made it look light and refreshing, the way it was supposed to be branded.

  • deka

    i have no issue with luann. she thinks highly of herself, but i think she’s harmless.
    i find alex to be rude and meddlesome. she’s weird and doesnt know how to behave in a group. there is nothing i like about her or simon.
    ramona is repulsive.

  • JenG

    I am watching Part 2 of the Reunion now and it makes me so mad just watching this mess. I hate it when people look down their nose at other people as if they are better. I can say one thing about RHNY, I will not be watching this mess next season. I can’t stand uppity people.

  • Amy

    I’ve reached a point with these women where I can’t really pay that much attention to them, either on tv or your blog entries (sorry), because they make my brain hurt. Not because of their mental prowess but because of their noise and nonsense. With that said, I find it ironic that these women all look down on Alex but it would seem she is actually the only one who came from significant wealth. Didn’t she mention that her father was a wealthy oil executive or something? And as for Kelly… she reminds me of the dumb friend of snotty high school girls. You know, the one who’s not smart enough to come up with her own comebacks so she just says “yeah! shut up!” to punctuate her more intelligent friends’ comments.

  • Nancy from SB

    PS Amanda – LOVED your photo of Alex ‘collapsed’ on the couch, after the reunion (on this blog)! While she looks beautiful, but after the barrage of hits she took from the mean girls across from her, she looks done in! Funny.

  • mm

    Okay they had no fun all season. Not watching RHNY. I am going to float off with Bethenny, No skinny Margarita for me (it is gross) but there is much more on Bravo that at least makes me laugh.

  • Mita

    1. Actually agree with one of the comments. Don’t dislike Luann. She doesn’t sound like a shrieking housewife, appears to have a good relationship with her kids, and appears sane. Her remarks are bitchy but hit the mark.
    2 Jill’s bitchy, but then she is on reality tv to market bitchiness. I am glad she isn’t apologizing
    3 Ramona may not have a alcohol problem, but she has done her level best to give us that idea
    4 Alex is trying to hard, and is meddlesome, I guess she wants TV-time
    5. Simon is creepy and such a attention whore
    6 Mario is creepy
    7 Sonja is ok, just a tad sad actually. Kudos for keeping your kid off tv
    8 Kelly appeared sane all through-out, and in the end just wanted to get her 2 cents in
    9 Cindy needs to take intense “reality tv behavior lessons”, she got too sucked in, appeared bitter and angry and a bit out of control.
    Finally, Andy needs to take responsibility.profiteering from making folks behave in a terrible uncouth manner on national TV. Shame on you!
    M

    • Manuela

      I can’t give credit to Sonja for keeping her daughter off of ‘RHONY’ because it takes both parents with legal custody to consent to a minor’s appearance on a show. Probably Sonja would have declined her daughter’s participation anyway and for good reason, but the Morgans are a family of the Ultra wealthy, and certainly the father wouldn’t agree to it. And for very good reason.

  • mochababe73

    I don’t really know what happened with LuAnn from season one until now. I used to really like her. But she has become a b—, and Simon was right about her. However, misguided he was, Simon was defending his wife. And, LuAnn is definitely not paying attention to her children. Her daughter was kicked out of a private school in the Hamptons and was caught on video drinking and smoking what may have been marijuana. Isn’t she 16?

    I have liked Sonja since last season. She’s a great woman and looks to be lots of fun. I hated the way Jill bombarded her with questions about her legal issues. It’s none of her business and should have stayed out of it.

    Kelly received almost no show time. I’m not real sure why she is even on the show. She makes no sense. She lies. She talks over people.

    Cindy is a non-player on this show as well. I don’t think that she got along with anyone. Instead of being on the left couch, she should have had a chair of her own. Cindy was mean and nasty this entire season. Her brother is creepy. I also find it hard to believe that she spends anytime with her daughters. She couldn’t even take both of them to a simple lunch with her parents. She’s a horrible, horrible woman.

    Alex was definitely ganged up on. The left couch (except Cindy) had it in for her, and it was blatantly obvious. There are no records of Simon bullying or “mean tweeting” anyone. The “watch out” probably stems from the fact that the I Hate Jill groups will definitely be after her. However, I am certain that every single woman on the show has an I Hate group.

    Finally Ramona. Ramona, Ramona. I don’t think that she has a drinking problem. I have liked her since Season 1, and I continue to like her. Ramona’s biggest problem is that she doesn’t think before she speaks.

    Now, let’s all get ready for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!

  • Ruthie

    Ohhhhhh. If only the housewives would read these blog sites. But, then–they wouldn’t get it. LuAnn said Andy never brings up any positive comments about them. There are positive comments???

  • Blaine

    So the jury’s out, really, on whether Ramona has a drinking problem or not. It depends on your definition. She admits to having two glasses of pinot grigio a day, and some people define that as being a “functioning alcoholic.” I have no idea what that means, except that more than half of Europe falls into that category.

    But I do know this: outing someone who has been to AA is rotten stuff – the kind of stuff St. Peter will eventually call you out on. I thought it was rotten when it happened to Lindsay Lohan years and years ago despite the fact I can’t stand her. Being labeled an alcoholic can be an irretrievable blight on your character and reputation. It can damage your career, your ability to feed your family. It’s not right that Ramona did that to Jill – and it was definitely not right when Jill did it to Simon in the first season of RHONY.

    • stilettolife

      That’s what I didn’t get. It was wrong for Ramona to out Jill for going to AA but it wasn’t wrong for everyone asking if Ramona is an alcoholic? it just sounds like a horrible double standard, IMO.

      It’s almost like it was ok for Jill and Luann to out people but if anyone else did, it was a crime.

      BTW….I hated the way they ganged up on Alex. What are the brunettes, the older mean girls?

      • Blaine

        Agreed on all points. All of them. Here’s the sad thing: you and I won’t even remember Jill from Ramona in a year’s time, but their kids will have to live with these videos forEVER. More kudos to Sonja. Can you imagine this being in your family archive??

  • Matthew

    Oh and as for the quote you chose to use for this blog posting…I was impressed when they showed Kelly using this line as a teaser for the upcoming segment. It was a good quip. But then when they came back someone else used the word “unravel” just moments before Kelly did, and I once again realized she still didn’t have her own brain and was just parroting what she heard moments ago.

    On another quick topic, I like Sonja. But what’s with her name and venue-dropping? The Royal Palace? The Churchills? Oh shut up!

  • beacuz

    I do not think Simon – as unconventional as he is- was threatening anyone. I understood the “watch out” to be more of a warning that their bad behavior will come back and haunt them. KARMA. This is housewives of NY not NJ and Jill and LuAnn are masters at flipping the script and Kelly is just a loon. Cindy – a non-factor with no personality, Ramona is Ramona and IMO not mean unless attacked. Alex McChord is heads above the entire cast – as that classless LuAnn sings “money can’t buy you class”. Does anyone notice that Bobby and Jill look a like. If you took off Bobby Zarin’s glasses and shave his facial hair – throw on a Jill wig – you would have a fatter Jill (pre-surgery/botox/fillers).

    • Nancy from SB

      I agree with you on the “watch out” comment. I thought he was trying to not use the over-used cliche, “watch out, Karma is a bitch!” Big f-ing deal!

  • Kimberly

    I agree with every point you made! Kelly is the absolute worst and such a hypocrite for bullying Alex the entire reunion (and most of the show), especially after she went on and on last year about how she had been “systematically bullied” or whatever. This is an exact repeat of how she treated Bethenny (“I’m up here, you’re down here,” “You’re not a chef, you’re a cook,” “Who has she ever catered for? No one I know”). The only difference is that Bethenny knew how to stand up for herself while Alex continues to engage with this behavior.

    • JenG

      I agree, that is why they walk all over Alex because she can’t defend herself. Bethenny was quick with her come backs when attacked. Alex is not, she has to think first, just like some of us.

      • Manuela

        Exactly. Alex can’t defend herself well at all. She’s been supressing her emotions for several seasons and she has some ‘build-up’ that she’s ill-equipped to channel rationally. She ‘hives-up’ when she gets emotional. She gets red, rashy and she pants with nervous laughter which comes across a little weird.

        Really, really disliked Cindy for calling Alex a ‘lap dog’ for breathing heavily in nervous laughter when Alex was insulted. Just disgusting and so unnecessary. If someone did that to one of my girlfriends I’d lose my cool like none other.

      • Blaine

        Alex needs to embrace her inner bitch.

  • RedHead

    Oh how I wish, wish, wish I had access to Sonja’s plastic surgeon and dermatologist and hair colorist. I love her style…well…sans the “pantyless” thing of course.

    (There was a Cindy on the show?)

    The person I would least like to spend time with: Ramona. Mean + class-less + crazy = Awful

    **Whoops! Sorry Alex for saying a bad word!

  • kemilia

    Good Recap, and great comments by everyone here, helps me remember everything that happened.

    1. I cannot stand the Countess (and she ain’t ever giving up that title) and she used to be one of my faves. Her name should be the definition for passive/aggressive. Same hair do as Jacques–yep!

    2. Kelly is just awful and I think about how her poor daughters have that as a mother & role model.

    3. Cindy never fit it, I hope she goes away. When she was going on about how much time she spends with her kids did she forget that she called one of the nannies to come and get the child she had out with her? She so does not know how to deal with them, she was so “I can’t deal with this.”

    4. I like Alex, and Simon even. They are a good team and I think that rankles the brunettes. It was bloodlust, the way the brunettes continually attacked her. Andy should have controlled those women better, good ratings are great, but that was uncomfortable to watch.

    5. Making all those faces was not cool, Jill. One nasty expression–maybe, maybe, but that whole sofa was the mean girls club and you loved it.

    6.Sonja–she seems as real as a socialite can be, likeable and fun. I hope her money problems work out.

    7. And Romana, she’s the best of all. Never thinking before she speaks, gets herself in trouble all the time, needs to pull back on the pinot promotion, but she’s the one I could hang with. She’s childish sometimes but she knows it, though the AA/Jill comment was really bad, but an excellent example of her not thinking before she opens her mouth. Did anyone notice her sliding off the sofa in the very last second of the show?

    And I look forward to next year and I hope they all come back, except Cindy.

  • adrienne z

    this squabbling and talking at the same time is getting annoying. we almost need subtitles so everyone can be heard

    and i think cindy is the most worthless housewive. she contributes nothing but disgust to this show.

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