Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York City was so scattered and unfocused that I’m having a hard time figuring out exactly what happened. Well, other than Bethenny getting engaged. We know that that happened and thankfully, the cameras weren’t there to witness and record it for posterity. That made me oddly happy – she may have taken a pregnancy test on camera, but at least she got proposed to behind closed doors.

Other than that, there was the usual sniping, gossiping, back-biting and lunching. Various sets of housewives ate and/or drank together in various settings, and then they all met up with different housewives in order to eat and/or drink more and discuss what had been said in their previous conversations. These people talk so much about what they say to each other that I’m beginning to question whether or not they actually do anything. They just talk, and then they talk about talking.

We know who DOES do things, however: Jill’s dog. That’s right, Ginger is a woman of action, even if that action consists only of taking a gigantic dump in Jill’s living room. A dump which launched an episode, around which a the producers tried to build a ministory. That’s what we’ve come to, folks – are we happy to be there? I have to admit, I kind of enjoyed watching Jill clean up poop, even if she had to fit in an insult about some random bystander’s shoes while she did it. Maybe this is her new hobby?

Afterward, in stark contrast to the stark minutiae of Jill’s scene, Bethenny trekked all the way to Brooklyn to have lunch with Alex, her only real friend on the show, and tell her that she had recently gotten engaged. Alex was so incredibly excited about the information and touched that Bethenny had chosen to tell her first that I think she might have gotten a little teary, and thus continued perhaps the greatest image-rehabilitation campaign in Housewives history. She continues to win the season (and you know that they’re all keeping score.)

In other, unrelated lunch meetings, Sonja and Ramona got together and were apparently seated at a table that just wasn’t good enough for them, but they didn’t ask for a different one because they both secretly knew that that’s the best table they were going to get. They chattered about this and that, but the only interesting tidbit to come out of the lunch was that Sonja had met Kelly in passing many times before, but when she saw her at the last episode’s Kodak party, Kelly acted like she had no idea who she was. Ramona mentioned, accurately, that she was sure that Kelly knew exactly who Sonja’s ex-husband was. Funny, didn’t Bethenny have that exact same problem with Kelly last season? And Kelly got distracted by a shiny object and never really explained why she always acted like that?

The next meeting/meal happened between Kelly and her kids in their Hamptons house. She attempted to undertake the relatively simple act of making pancakes from pre-mixed powder and ended up failing at it so horrifically that it compelled one child to wrest control of the stove from her hands and managed to render the other one completely mute, communicating only in sad, small notes that said things like “uh-oh” and “huh?” and “someone please save me from my simpering idiot of a mother.” Ok, maybe I made that last one up. She didn’t actually write that down, but she said it with her eyes.

Speaking of children horrified by their mothers, Ramona announced her impending vow renewal to her daughter Avery over lunch (there’s another one of those conversation lunches!), and it didn’t exactly go well. Avery thought it was silly that she wouldn’t wait a few more years until her 20th anniversary to do a renewal, which is actually a pretty good point. She also wouldn’t accept the job of Maid of Honor without knowing exactly what it entailed. Smart one, that girl. She agreed to participate, although she appeared to be approximately as enthusiastic about the whole thing as Mario. It must be hard to be the spawn of the Ramonacoaster.

In one of the few meetings that didn’t involve lunch or booze, LuAnn went apartment hunting downtown and “accidentally” ran in to Kelly, who then proceeded to help her look at apartments. I’m not sure why anyone thought it would be a good idea to show The Countess modern apartments downtown, but she didn’t like the space or the rent (she’s apparently unaware that New York City is obnoxiously expensive) and immediately went out to flag down her favorite rickshaw driver to take her back uptown. I mean, how could anyone expect her to live in an apartment without a doorman? Who would parent her children while she’s out drinking and looking for their next daddy?

Next on the meeting schedule was a three-way between LuAnn, Kelly and Sonja. Sonja and Kelly don’t actually like each other (at all), so I don’t know why they insist on socializing anyway, but it was about as awkward as you could imagine. Sonja set the tone when she announced that she was considering abusing Adderall in order to lose weight, and with every word, Kelly became more and more embarrassed that they banged the same dude at some point in the past. In fact, Kelly won’t even admit she ever did it. (Come on Kelly, we know better.)

In a bid to be the prude of the evening, Kelly said that all she wanted to do was find a dude to marry her so that they could drink beer and have babies together, and LuAnn and Sonja looked at her like she had four heads. Both of them are just looking for someone to split the rent and watch their kids, and in that context, I’m sure that Kelly did sound insane. Actually, Kelly sounds insane in most contexts.

Kelly’s relative purdery just made Sonja redouble her efforts to make everyone uncomfortable, and in doing so she brought up the issue of cheating. She implied that her husband had cheated and then denied it when asked, only to throw the question back at Kelly. Kelly thought that it was rude of her to ask, ignoring the fact that she had asked Sonja the same question approximately four seconds earlier. And then the universe folded in on itself and I passed out for a few minutes.

The furious din of Ramona yelling at her assistants woke me up after the commercial break, bringing me back to consciousness only to feel terrible for Ramona’s poor, abused employees. She appeared to flip out merely for her own entertainment, and they were too terrified to even look her in the face. I think she actually threw things at one point, and then she may have growled. I’m not making that up. I make a lot of things up, but not that.

Then, finally, everyone showed up at some party thrown by Kelly (for what reason, I don’t know) and no one was wearing enough clothes. Kelly’s dress was up around her vijayjay, Bethenny’s breasts were in constant danger of popping out to meet everyone, it was the sort of scene that you’d expect for a Housewives get-together. Mario and LuAnn argued in Italian, Ramona and Kelly pretended like they didn’t hate each other, Jill ran away as soon as she saw Bethenny because Jill is such an adult. Again, typical.

Bethenny finally managed to tell a few people that she was engaged and no one seemed to really care except Ramona, who was improbably excited for her. LuAnn, alternately, took the opportunity to shift the attention to herself and force Bethenny to apologize for calling her a snake (despite the fact that she was totally, completely, irrefutably correct), and Sonja didn’t care because Sonja doesn’t know who Bethenny is.

When Jill, on the other side of the room, was presented with the news of Bethenny’s engagement, she didn’t seem to care at all – she said nothing more than half-hearted “I’m happy for her.” Given the opportunity to turn the news over in her head, however, Jill came to the realization that there was an opportunity to be seized. If she were to pick that moment to make nice with Bethenny, then she could perhaps share in the reflected glow of the good news and maybe even somehow find a way to take partial credit for it. Yes, that is what she would do.

Bethenny was trying to leave, however, so Jill did her best to lunge at her as she walked by on the sidewalk, crowing about her huge diamond (really, it’s big) and trying to awkwardly hug Bethenny, who wasn’t having any of it. And that’s exactly what made Jill the saddest: the realization that her former friend wasn’t going to beg her forgiveness forever. Pretty soon, Bethenny would have a wedding to plan and a life to have and things to think about other than how much she wants to be friends with Jill, and there’s nothing that people like Jill hate more than being yesterday’s news. That’s right: it’s time to stage a comeback. But that’s reserved for next week.

Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • pg1908

    I’m ready for next week and Alex’s “showdown” with Jill. Apparently Jill isn’t self aware enough to actually take a step and realize the role she has played in all this madness.

  • Nee

    Ok, I’m supposed to be doing my morning workout, but I have been stalking my compute,r waiting for your recap! brilliant as per usual! Alexis is definitely winning this season – she’s so sane I fear she may be dumped by bravo for lack of craziness! Jill is definitely losing, her “mean girls” imitation is just sad and pathetic. I’m glad the others are moving on with their lives. I cant wait to see her eat crow, because like you said, she is going to use Bethenny’s happiness to try stage a comeback:( I think I read somewhere that she didn’t make it to Bethennys wedding? I hope she was purposefully uninvited, because, like Luann, she would have tried to turn it into an event about herself…. that doggy poop in the beginning was so appropriate! Jill, your poop is showing!

  • Empress

    **WARNING** Do not read this while eating. I nearly choked to death upon reading this sentence, “And then the universe folded in on itself and I passed out for a few minutes.” I’m so going to get fired for laughing so loud. I have to agree that Alex is more likeable this season and creepy Simon doesn’t creep me out so much. I hated Kelly last season, but this season, she’s “meh” for me. I am absolutely repelled, RE-PELLLLLED by Jill this season. The producers did a great job showing what an emotional vampire Jill is. Ugh. Draaaamaaaaa. Another great recap Amanda!!! Thank you!

    • Relli


  • Handbag Lover

    Awesome, I have to catch the repeat. I am so sick of them, chile, I don’t know what to do. Can’t wait for RHONJ to come on. Take care honey! :)

  • Handbag Lover

    I just told AJC Buzz and Broke Socialite and my followers on Twitter to start checking you out lady! You are too live and these ladies are funny also. :) I will continue to spread the word. Luv me some U! :)

    • Thank you so much for doing that! Call me, AJC! Send me you name on Twitter so that I can follow you – I’m @PBAmanda :-)

      • Handbag Lover

        Hey girl, Sorry I am just now seeing this, I am following you now I sent you a tweet. :)

  • Sofia Nolan

    haha, funny, yes I`ve seen this too

  • BLynnT

    “Ramonacoaster”! I love it. (fb)

  • Crazyfashionaddict

    Before i comment on the housewives, I am going to ask that they stop running that picture of the lotto winner with his missing teeth! thanks Much!
    Secondly, every week that I watch the house wives, the more I see Luanne as being barnicle under someone’s shoe, no,no ! make that the present that Jill’s dog had in apartment for the visitors.

    Where does that Pretentiousness come from? Does she know that people with real titles don’t go around insisting being called royalty? “Elegance is love my friend”, Elegance is love! Got that Amanda?

    If she and Jill are going to insist on being called socialites, then the least they can do, is to act that way! Or read a book about the mannerisms of people from “Old money”.” Oh dawling, did you see the brick wall?” Uh, you simpleton of a realtor! Why did you take me , Countless D’Clueless to see an apartment with a brick wall? I will shank you fool! You have been warned! Realtor Simpleton” !!!!!!! Back to you cave!

    How the hell is she going to berate Ramona ,and then pretend that she’s above gossiping? “You didn’t steal my line did you? My line for her is crazy eyes”..Well atleast Crazy Eyes can afford the lifestyle that you “countless” aspires to have.
    Love,Alex and Simone, no complaints from me …they’re ambitious, unpretentious and seems to have their sh*t together…yeah they are social climbers , but they own it!

    What the hell is going on with Gloria’s face? It’s a lot a Birkin bag,well friggin preserved..Luxury leather much?

    Alex, Is she playing in the Nfl this year? What will she be a quater back? Maybe that position will knock some common sense right back into her. We she never had any to begin with, I listened to her talk and I swear to God that I am the one in need of Adderall, My high-q dropped a 1000 points.

    I am also angry that I didn’t see Jill for the manipulative, childish, camera hog clown, for what she really was last season…, by the way Amanda, she’s a size one! Luanne was a model, but I am a size one!

    Got that sister?
    Bobby, you are a saint! St.Bobby, you should have your own holiday,cause for the life of me , I cant understand how you ae able to put up with that effery, you call a wife…

    Anyho, Good job as usual Ms.A
    Thank you so much for the entertainment !

    • JenG

      It must be something wrong with my tv because Jill donot look like she wear a size one. And I agree they really need to stop showing the picture of the lotto winner with missing teeth!

  • Pamela

    Ah you have done it again! Seriously…you make my Fridays…I love it! I was staying at my boyfriend’s place last night, and we just happened to have takeout dinner during the taping of the show, so my boyfriend ended up watching it with me while we ate. At one point, he threw his slipper at the tv and couldn’t stand the whining and crap-talking anymore…LOL. It just added to the entertainment of the whole thing.

    I love how Jill acts like she’s genuinely worried that she’s lost Bethenney as a friend….PLEASE…after she tried so hard to put Bethenney through hell and back…and I love how Bethenney hit it right on the head, she only cared about her ring. I’m sure, when she saw how big the rock is, and that Bethenney was gonna be a rich housewife, she wanted to be allies with her again…But that’s why I love Bethenney, she knew better!! (fb)

  • maryelle

    i think jill is in her menopausal stage tbh… the common sense she has is equivalent to that of a high schooler. luann needs to get off her countess high horse. she’s not living up to it, she’s playing it. and after seeing how these women react to their children, i’m so proud of my mother and how she raised me.
    team bethenny ftw. i pray that she will be a more sane mother than the rest of them.

  • JenG

    Thank you for making me LOL!

  • Pat

    Thanks for your great re-caps. I missed this episode last night! Cheers to Bethenney on the engagement. (fb)

  • Idealist

    Great recap! I’m glad Bethany FINALLY gave up, I really got tired of her chasing after Jill for no reason @ all. LuAnn was annoying as usual. Didn’t we alrdy figure out Mario wasn’t apologizing like 4 episodes ago? & y does Jill always say “I wasn’t rdy 4 all of this”. Wat do u have to prepare 4 in order to just say hi? How wierd! I love Sonja. She seems like fun & sidenote: kelly sounds like a man. Am i the only 1 that notices that extra base in her voice?? I’m just sayin…..PLUS I’m surprised u didn’t say nehting when we were forced 2 watch bethany sit on the toilet & pee on a stick last week??? I was creeped out by that

  • aka55

    Oh, Captain, My Captain! How effortlessly you manage to navigate these choppy waters! I’m particularly impressed with your ability to glean personality disorders & deep-seated insecurities from both random comments & those things left unsaid. You do have a gift! And this week you didn’t miss a trick!

    In fact you pulled some things to the surface that were barely even hinted at. I re-watched the final scene after reading your recap & could actually see the wheels turning in Jill’s demented little brain. You can see her ruminating about how to play this one to her advantage. Do you think she also sees that LuAnn’s getting ready to trade her in for a newer, more socially prominent model?

    Speaking of LuAnn, what a transparent, hollow troll of a human she is! You were spot on when you said she is clearly the nastiest of the lot. She has no redeemable qualities whatsoever & I think it’s telling that she surrounds herself with sycophants. “…it’s not very countess,” sniffed her interior designer/friend (yeah, right…we all know how she feels about people in service roles). LuAnn had that toady in tow so she could have “legitimate” excuses for passing on apartments that were clearly out of her price range. Did anyone else notice they didn’t show her viewing or signing a lease for any up-town digs? My guess is she started looking on the Lower East Side & Midtown in the hope of finding something affordable. Well, I guess she finally got her wish. She’s now more like real European royalty…she has a title, but little else! And btw, LuAnn, brow-beating an apology out of Bethenny when she’s trying to share happy news only confirms just how right her assessment of you was!

    And next we have Kelly. I’d say poor Kelly if she weren’t so obviously mean & shallow, always sucking up to the side she thinks is winning. But Kelly has clearly stumbled into nuclear warfare equipped with nothing but a slingshot. She’s so lost it would take a team of Eagle scouts a solid year to help her find direction!

    I’ve always been a big Bethenny fan. The intellect & well-honed acerbic wit are very engaging. Also, her hard earned happiness & success are an inspiration.

    I have always liked Alex & Simon. Simon can be very entertaining and their love for one another & for their children is both refreshing & appealing. In addition, they’re just not mean…neither to one another nor to others. That’s why, like another of your fans, I’m looking forward to Alex’s laying the smack down on Jill. And because Alex usually holds her tongue & is so kind & non-judgemental, I expect it will carry a pretty big wallop, particularly for the viewers! Also, I think you’re right about Alex being the big winner this season; hands down!

    As for Ramona, how can that much unfiltered, encapsulated insanity be anything but good tv!? She will always give us a reason to tune in! You couldn’t create a character that outrageous bec/ if it weren’t real, an audience would never believe it could be!

    Finally, regarding Sonja, she is indeed proving to be the straw that’s stirring this crazy cocktail. Her very presence is rocking the Homecoming Court to it’s very core. I can’t wait to see how this season plays out! I anticipate hair pulling and lots of ugly name calling! Btw, anyone catch LuAnn’s snide comment about Sonja to the “eligible” bachelor. Ladies – start your engines!

  • scorpio

    Excellent job on the Recap !! :)

  • Kayla

    Love your recaps! You never fail to make me laugh! (fb)

  • Reese

    All I have to say is this: Ramon and her daughter at lunch was like like watching a reality tv version of AbFab. The crazy eyes came out, the daughter did one of those internal laughs, and the alcoholism continues…

    • Reese


  • Adrienne Zedella

    i missed most of the episode & have to wait for repeat. I did catch a closeup of the dog poop. Was that really necessary? (fb)

  • Adrienne Zedella

    you would think chicks with that much money would have a Bissell rug cleaner in the nearest walk-in closet. especially with a dog that does his business in the house. (fb)

  • Danieli

    Another fav recap! Poor, poor Avery, shame, shame on Jill(again), so loving Alex and can’t wait until next week! Bethenny is still my fav, always will be. I have no words to describe my feelings about LuAnn and Kelly, oh…..wait! I do………..STUPID DRAGQUEENS!

  • Adrienne Zedella

    congrats to Bethanny! on both fronts! GO Girl! Be a great mom! (fb)

  • Adrienne Zedella

    you have no idea how much love you will have in you – and it grows Every Day (fb)

  • misslisa

    My immediate reaction to Mario and Luann addressing the apology “issue” in Italian was: AFFAIR!
    Perhaps that was why both were (conspicuously, in hindsight) absent from Brooklyn Fashion Weekend….(?)

  • Britt Bratt


    You featured a bag from Botkier, and I was quite impressed with the design of their bags. But… I must know, where are the bags made? China? Europe? I refuse to buy any bag made in China…designer or not.

    Thank you,

    Britt Bratt

  • S

    Not sure about Sonja – we’ll wait and see! As for Bethany’s husband – Bethany did good. He is so kind in asking her to smile when Jill tried to talk to her. And so what if Jill cared about the ring? Most everyone wants to see the ring when someone gets engaged. Should Jill have rehashed the past on Bethany’s engagement day? Luann did, and everyone blamed her for it. I feel viewers pick sides and blame certain ladies for the same thing that their favorite housewife did in the last episode.

  • Adrienne Zedella



    Amanda, your recap is so interesting, i think better to read your recap first then watch the series

  • e

    What happened to Brad this season? Does Jill no longer have a need for a gay husban d, or did she drop him like a hot potato too?

    • They had some sort of “falling out” and are no longer friends. I don’t know the details, but based on what we know of Jill…use your imagination, I suppose.

  • David Alen

    As financing gets tighter and the stress continues for all those apartment buying financing. Manny of New York City management companies and NYC developers looking to list out their condominiums (Condos), Lofts and apartments for rent as a NO FEE Rentals all Over Manhattan including Battery Park, West Village, Chelsea, Tribeca, Financial District, Flatiron, Hudson heights, UES, UWS. Visit New York City Apartments at

  • amy

    I dont care for Sonja right now. When she met up with Romana for that little luncheon. She looked weird and like a hot mess.

  • swags

    Great recap! I loved “someone please save me from my simpering idiot of a mother.” So true.

  • Lisa

    Amanda, love your recap as always. Your recaps are often better than the show itself! (fb)

  • Tiffany

    OMG! Just watched it last night..Bethenny is soo funny..Talking about everyone’s body parts on my nerves..doesn’t she know she is no longer a Countess??
    Jill did try to make up..but I would do the same as Bethenny!

  • Seejayluvsbags

    I make certain to read your recaps and I must say, your writing only gets better toward the end of season. Enjoyed your “passing out” snippet and I must say words cannot express how much I dislike Jill & LuAnn….oddly I do like Sonja and B is my fav…

  • bf

    This is the first recap of yours that I have read…..and I can’t stop LAUGHING!!!! I agree this might have been more entertaining than the show. I will make sure and check next week for another recap. Loved it!!!!!!!

  • Lizzie

    HAHAHA I love this freaking show sooo much!

  • Brenda Cervantes

    ADM these housewives! I want to be one too! (fb)

  • bf

    Forgot to put (fb) at the end of my earlier comment!!!!

  • Deborah Curran

    Great recap but it’s a show I don’t care to watch. Just imagine someone from Europe watching this and thinking that this represents the NY women. How horrible. THey are shallow, caustic and overly materialistic. sorry (fb)

  • Tammie

    I agree. Your recaps are hilarious! (fb)

  • Christine

    Thanks so much for the recap- my favorite part of one of the episodes is when they all leave Romana standing by herself after she put her foot in her mouth regarding Kodak the company at a Kodak event.. uhh pulezze get some class!!! It was a wonderful read!! Thanks !!! (FB)

  • Brenda

    I’ve been reading this blog for a really long time but I’ve got to say that your recaps of the Housewive’s adventures are what I look forward to the most! (fb)

  • Karla

    I swear I love your recaps more than the show! (fb)

  • kacee

    love it! have to agree with the other ladies…your recaps are as enjoyable (maybe more so) than the show! (fb)

  • kim

    Wow! Perfect summary.

    I hated seeing Bethenny’s booty during her pregnancy test scene (fb)

  • Joy

    LOL. Did they get it from Single Ladies??! Cause that’s what it’s reminding me of!!
    Anyways, if it’s not, awe. But if it is, loving it!! Haha :D :P

  • Adrienne Zedella

    Bethanny deserves some genuine happiness. she always looks so lost (fb)

  • bf

    Did it again. (fb)

  • Roxanna

    I love this show. Another great review, yet again. (fb)

  • Matthew

    I think Ramona is renewing her vows so she can be like Vicki on OC. It’s 100% a publicity stunt.

  • faith24

    i do not watch that show but your recaps are hilarious (fb)

  • JennMSU

    ramona is totally spaz-tastic. it really bugs me. last epi is was the fashion show, this time it was in the office. blech.

    • JennMSU

      oh whoops! forgot my (fb) tag!

  • Monique

    It’s Wednesday. I’m hopeful about the Linea Pelle giveaway! (fb)

  • Jacqueline

    LOLLLLL (fb)

  • Jocelyn

    I don’t watch this show but please, please, please let me win a Linea Pelle :D (fb)

Psssst... Let's Get Purseonal