Normally when we talk about the Real Housewives of New York, we say that things went off the rails at some point during the episode. The show usually starts out ok and then ends up not ok, and that means that there was some sort of narrative arc which involved a progression from normalcy to insanity, through some sort of logical (well, usually logical) chain of events.

Well! There was no such thing last night. When the episode started, things were already firmly off the rails and they continued to careen further and further down a metaphorical embankment into a fiery crash at the bottom of Kelly’s life-ravine. It had the sort of wild-eyed, instantaneous chaos that comes with any good explosion, but it also had silly fake photo shoots and dreams of Bethenny butchering Kelly with a butter knife, and that made it even better. If you thought nothing could be more insane than last week’s episode, well, Kelly would like to disabuse you of that notion.

While we were watching last week, did it fail to occur to anyone else that all of that foolishness had managed to occur in a single 24-hour span? For some reason, I didn’t even realize that until we were watching everyone at breakfast on the yacht, discussing the events of the previous evening. The housewives couldn’t even manage to keep things together for the first ten minutes of the show, and less than 10 minutes into the episode Kelly was shouting about whether Bethenny was really a chef and whether or not Bethenny was the one that brought it up (she wasn’t).

As we all know, the best way to stop the fighting is to distract these women with something big and shiny, and soon they were yachting over to a fabulous Moroccan-style mansion where they would stay for the rest of the trip while continuing to yell at each other about things that couldn’t matter any less if they tried. The place was utterly gorgeous (and probably paid for by Bravo – convenient!), yet somehow our ladies (and I use that term loosely) couldn’t manage to behave themselves and enjoy their surroundings for any longer than they do in regular life. Quelle surprise.

On their first evening at the mansion, Bethenny passed out gift bags to all of the other housewives that were, ok, maybe a little heavy on the SkinnyGirl products. But hey, I’d gladly take a free bottle of pre-mixed margaritas if anyone would like to send one my way. Kelly apparently doesn’t get as excited about free booze as I do, because she got her bag, looked through it, and then keeled over like a five-year-old launching into a tantrum and started to cry.

And then she called Jill! Because Jill always makes these situations better. Kelly told her that Bethenny was creepy for going on a trip after her father died and that she had dreams about Bethenny killing her, which she followed up with an insult about Bethenny boobs, which, you know, rocks, glass houses, etc. Even Jill said that Kelly was talking crazy talk, and I guess that she would be familiar with such things.

At breakfast the next morning, Kelly instituted a complaint pad so that if anyone had anything negative to say, they could write it down instead of saying it and causing conflict, but she neglected to acknowledge that she was the only one slinging insults. As a way to demonstrate to all of us exactly how self-aware she’s not, she did not write anything on the pad, and it seemed as though the producers were beginning to mock her silently from behind the cameras.

Sonja didn’t actually manage to witness any of this because she didn’t actually get out of bed on time. Sonja is awesome.

Next, Kelly wanted to have a beach photoshoot, although I’m pretty sure that being previously married to a photographer doesn’t actually make you one. BUT, that didn’t stop her! She put on her enormous Smart Girl Glasses a got out a ginormous camera and took pictures of Sonja acting like a lion, Ramona in a bikini that was made of banana peels and string, and Alex…well, I don’t know what Alex was doing. Bethenny opted to stay home, which was probably the best decision that anyone on this show has made in the past couple of episodes.

Back in colder climates, Jill was barging in on professional figure skating practices in a full costume and chandelier earrings and also planning to barge in on Ramona’s bachelorette trip. But first, she had to consult with LuAnn, because who is Frick without Frack? LuAnn, in an uncharacteristic fit of reasonability, told Jill that “surprising” the everyone in the Caribbean was a bad idea. It didn’t matter, though, because Jill had already convinced herself that everyone would be thrilled to see her, particularly if she brought a gift for Ramona. Because a set of crystal candlesticks makes that kind of insanity acceptable, of course. We get to see the fallout from that flawless decision-making next week.

Again in St. Barts (St. John? Wherever they were), Kelly was freaking out, this time because Ramona asked her to move to another room to talk on her cell phone while they were trying to film a scene, and after she came back and yelled a little bit, she again brought up the fact that she doesn’t think that Bethenny’s a chef right before horking down some of her salsa. And then she made a big deal about having to sit across from Bethenny at dinner and scenes of high school cafeterias flashed in my head.

They all threw back a few drinks and then managed to sit down for dinner, which had been prepared by Bethenny, and Kelly vacillated wildly between being eye-rollingly above it all and trying to make sure that no one could speak without knowing exactly what she thought about whatever they were trying to say, often before they actually managed to say it. And then she once again offered the opinion that the trip was very 1979. And that Bethenny had tried to kill her. Lots of times. And that she wanted everyone to zip it! Zip it! Zip it! Zip it! Zip it! Especially you, Ramona! Zip it! *zip it hand gesture goes here*

And, well, after that I’m not even sure what happened. Ramona moved Bethenny away from the table and Kelly simply moved her attentions one seat to the right and continued to melt down in Alex’s general direction, and then Ramona removed her too, leaving only Sonja and Kelly. Sonja pleaded with the girls to not leave her alone with that crazyperson, but they ran for the hills anyway while Sonja tried to talk sense. She’s still the new girl, so mopping up the crazy is apparently her job.

It didn’t work, though, because Kelly started blubbering about Bethenny attacking her kids in the press (even though she admits that she doesn’t have any idea whether it was Bethenny) and then moved back to her delusions about Bethenny killing her and Alex channeling the devil, and since Sonja’s new to all of this and she still has the ability to feel feelings, she felt bad. For Kelly, because Kelly is clearly insane in a clinical sense, not in a Housewives sense, and it’s mean to make fun of crazy people. I, for one, think she’s probably just a raving moron, and that’s not technically a medical problem.

Here’s my theory: she read a description of bipolar disorder somewhere and thought that acting like that would get her some camera time, but also didn’t bother to note that bipolar mood swings happen over the course of weeks, not second-to-second in the course of a conversation. So: reading comprehension FAIL. Of course, I have no proof of any of that, but it passes the truth sniff test, don’t you think?

Ultimately, Sonja was able to calm everyone down and Bethenny promised Kelly that she wasn’t going to kill her with a prison shiv, although she probably deserves at least a good punch in the face. Next week, everything should get even worse, if that’s at all possible: Jill is going to make a surprise appearance on the island and not a single person is happy about it.

Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • otter

    I like Kelly. Team Kelly all the way. She has the best bag collection.

  • Pamela

    Last sentence…Single not signal. :)

    I’m not sure but I don’t think I saw Kelly anywhere in next weeks preview?? You think she went home early and then in came Jill?

    And all I have to say is… Kelly is Batsh*t crazy!!!

    • Nancy

      I also noticed that Kelly wasn’t in any of the previews for next week. I was hoping that Bravo had hauled her off to the local mental hospital. She is ape shit nuts.

  • BLynnT

    HILARIOUS! I love this show (despite the fact that I think I might actually be dumber after watching each episode trying to keep up with the crazy)!

    Kelly is a total nut and a moron, but at least it’s funny to watch. TEAM BETHENNY 100%.

    • BLynnT

      Btw, I was waiting all morning for your recap, and as always… you didn’t disappoint. (Loved all the pics)

      • Glad you liked the recap and the pics! Adding extra pictures to break up the text was Vlad’s idea, I think it works pretty well.

  • amw

    It’s getting to the point where I laugh at the things happening on the show not just because it’s funny, but because I know you are going to comment on it and therefore become even more funny. I just love these recaps!
    Poor Sonja! Just how many times between this and last weeks episode did she quietly beg not to be left alone again with Crazy!

  • lolanyc

    Ok anyone on team Kelly is also a nut job. I was screaming at the tv LOL She made me Crazy! Im soo happy everyone saw how nuts she is and that Bethany has been right ALL ALONG! I love when Bethany says F U F U I told u so. So great. Ive been on Team bethany since day 1. How could u not? Shes hysterical and smart and always right. Why would Kelly call her just a cook? Whats wrong with being a cook? Cook, Chef, same difference to me. I think if you went to some kind of culinary school you can certainly call yourself a chef! I also loved when Kelly cried cuz she got a beach bag LOL. She acts like her daughters.. Like a 5 yr old! She threw a tantrum! On the phone with Jill making all those sounds? Also how dare she ruin ramonas trip. What an ungrateful biatch! And talking on the cell is just rude. I dont care if its your kid. go walk in the other room! Kelly even made fun of Alex! I was shocked! Calling her a vampire! WHY??? Kelly please look in the mirror! U are not all that! If anything your are dumb, nuts, crazy, did I say nuts? I KNOW u married for money. Her ex husband looks older than Luanns! LOL. No wonder he divorced her. Shes bat sh*t crazy!

    I wish Bethany all the luck!!! I hope her shows a HUGE success! I also now Love Sonja and Alex even Ramona. I hope they RIP Jill and Kelly a new one next week! =)

  • Sofia Nolan

    great show, love it! these girls are hilarious!

  • Courtney

    My personal favorite moment from last night’s episode was watching Ramona expertly knock back a Pinot Grigio as soon as her glass was filled while everything went down at the dinner. Rock on Ramona! Also loved Jill getting yelled at by the ice skating coach. That’s just great television. I am loving Sonja more every episode!!

    Great recap!!!

  • amy

    Kelly went bananas!!!!!,… her blog was simply ” so embarrased” but in the talk bubble she was defending herself that she was stuck with these “people” and backed into a corner and she did mention something about all the other women getting more airtime than her.I agree she wanted air time, but there are other ways than chic gone crazy! She started her building her crazy fort in van after the gummy bear comment.
    I think when Jill arrives in the next ep.. Girl is going to be lynched by her chandlier earrings!

  • reneeo

    Kelly is the stupidest person I have ever seen. I’m not sure she is even human. Does make for an entertaining show though, doesn’t it? I don’t know how she works as a model—her days are def over. Poor thing!

  • BestRemyWigs

    I have never seen a line backer famous female model, maybe she’s in the guiness book record as being the first.I will say one thing, Kelly definitely made crazy cakes Daniel from Jersey house wives seem like a Rhodes scholar.

  • Lisa in Oregon

    Wow! Was that a show! I had to re-watch parts because I could not believe what I was seeing! I was not a fan of Sonja’s originally, but after last night – I LOVE her! “She’s still the new girl, so mopping up the crazy is apparently her job.” Hillarious!! I have to say that I think Kelly is actually not crazy, but a combination of stupid and drug abuser. She’s so paranoid, moody and incomprehensible. When she does seem to “come to” she’s stupid. Al Sharpton! Vampires! Satchels of gold! Zip it! What? I agree that there is a serious problem and at the end of the episode, I felt a little guilty for laughing at her. Still think Bethanny is awesome and I can’t wait to see her new show. TEAM BETHANNY!!

    • Lisa in Oregon

      Oh – I have to add that Jill getting yelled at by the ice-skating coach was the best part of the show! What in world was with her little girl skating costume? Pah-leese! And for her to think the other’s will be “thrilled” to see her??!!! Is she really that self-absorbed?

  • Melissa

    LOVE your recaps – until things started getting really crazy and awesome, I would just read your recap and determine if it was worth watching. Now, I stalk PurseBlog on Fridays for the recap!
    Can someone please explain what the ‘satchels of gold’ comment meant, or was supposed to mean? Maybe I just missed part of the conversation; it WAS Kelly talking and she does not make sense but sometimes you can follow (lemons/lemonade > mountail/molehill).
    Even though Bravo likely payed to rent the gorgeous villa, it was Ramona’s event and if someone had (repeatedly!) told me to zip it on a vacation I (supposedly?) paid for, I would have gone berserk and am so impressed Ramona & her PG stayed cool.
    I noticed also that Kelly is not in the promos as Pamela said and it seems like maybe she left/DID have a breakdown?! Too bad end of season is near – it’s just getting good!
    Also, Sonja is just awesome. I think a turning point for her personally was when she compared Bethenny’s food to the quality she used to have from her yacht’s chef and Kelly went off on her bringing up the past. I am pretty certain she mentions Gilles Bensimon’s name every other episode at least.
    Too much good stuff in this episode to mention!
    Thanks, Amanda!!!

    • Nancy

      Yes – what ‘s up with “satchels of gold” or was that just another one of Kelly’s misplaced and misunderstood quotes, like the lemonade out of lemons coment?

  • PhotoGirl

    Bwahahahahaha!!! :) :) You have outwritten yourself today, Amanda! OMG. Laughed so hard that the hubs wants to know what is going on in here.

    I have been waiting all day to read this! In fact, I began wondering what you would write even as I was watching this train wreck last night. I think Bravo should just dispense with the show, send you the episode, and we could all enjoy your thoughts the next day. Then they could show reruns of Queer Eye in the RHNY time slot. Win, win!

    Man oh man. I certainly hope Bravo is going to buy Kelly some psychological help. She clearly needs it.

  • Kim

    Wait a minute — Kelly is FRIENDS with Gwenyth Paltrow???

  • Jo

    Awesome recap. I’ve been waiting since the morning, too!
    Oh, Kelly. Why on earth did she come on this trip if she was gonna keep telling Ramona, the hostess of the event, to “zip-it”? I don’t get this girl. Her word choices are uncanny and I LOL’d when Jill even admitted to not understanding her. I can’t believe she CRIED.

    And just my two cents: Kelly got upset because Bethenny passed out her SkinnyGirl products. She also made a comment about Ramona’s skincare line launch and said the housewives shouldn’t have their products air on the show because it looks like a sneaky way to promote things. If these truly were promotion, what’s so different about her (unnecessary) Gotham magazine-related parties? Especially that one party she had to celebrate her column about street fashion. Seriously?
    I personally don’t think they’re sneaky promotion since most of the housewives have jobs and it’s what they do everyday. And even if they were promoting, who cares? After all, this show is a “reality” TV show. If she was gonna start talking about not promoting things, she should shut up about her magazine column, too. If Kelly was right, then LuAnn shouldn’t sing her song since it will be selling on iTunes; Bethenny’s SkinnyGirl logo should be invisible; Ramona shouldn’t wear/talk about her jewelry & skincare; and Jill shouldn’t talk about her fabric store. I mean, come on. Her point is moot. I guess she just wants more air-time, like somebody mentioned above.
    I wonder if she really writes for the darn thing. I refuse to live in a world where someone like Kelly writes for a magazine. To be, um, read by people.

    Anyways, I love Bethenny and love Sonja even more than before. Did anyone catch the “watch what happens”? Lovely SJP said Sonja is the closest character to Carrie Bradshaw! She also said when Bethenny was crying after talking to Jill on the phone in the red dress, leaning against the limo was a “Carrie Bradshaw moment”. I loved it!

    • LOVED SJP! She’s such a great guest on that show, and I thought it was actually a really observant comment about the red dress/black car being a Carrie Bradshaw moment. She was totally right.

      And personally, I think that Sonja is a little more Samantha, but SJP would certainly be an expert.

      • Jo

        She was simply amazing on the show! Love her. And I totally get your point about how Sonja could be Samantha since she seems to be, well, “erotically charged” all the time and admits her love for the accompany of men (or hot Hooter girls).

  • Carla

    AL SHARPTON!!! AL SHARPTON!!!

    Did Kelly have anything to drink that night? I’m wondering if this is her version of drunk? I’ve worked at a psychiatric facility for 17 years and she is certainly not mentally ill. I like your theory that she thought she’d get attention for acting crazy, but I disagree she would actually READ anything to prepare ;-) I’m willing to bet it’s a combination of trying get camera time, but after a few drinks she can’t quite keep up with all the thoughts/threats/fears/insults rattling around in her empty head. I said I didn’t think she was crazy. I DO think she’s a moron…she can’t even keep up with well known references (or Bethenny’s wit) and so reverts back to picking a fight to try to hide the stupid.

    • She seemed to simultaneously conflate Al Sharpton with both Jack Nicholson AND Don King. Just…baffling.

  • mishie monroe

    I was actually a little disturbed by that episode and I watch a lot of reality television. Great re-cap!

    • suz

      I agree. I, too, was a disturbed by it. Watching someone fall apart like that was beyond normal reality show drama. The other four ladies appeared to step out of reality show mode ….thanks to Sonja….and sincerely try to defuse the situation. And so the question remains…..is Kelly dumb (I guess we know the answer to that one)…is she on drugs…is she just a narcissist,…or if not fully ready to be institutionalized, nonetheless pretty darn crazy…..or all of the above?

      Love the recap. Love the comments.

  • Mary San Diego

    Love your recap! Kelly ain’t that good of an actress! Meryl Streep isn’t that good of an actress. This chick ain’t acting. She is 100% self involved and maybe on some coke.
    She did seem to be able to manipulate the entire group of women to move away from her…..something I suspect most people who get close to her eventually do. Major personality disorder going on!

  • Handbag Lover

    Girl, you got down on this one, lol. I enjoyed the images as well. This was the best one of them all, crazy and drama filled. I can’t wait to see what is going to happen when Queen Jill enters next week. Girl, i might have to pull out some wine. lol Can’t wait till next recap!

  • Idealist

    Okay can we all just agree that Kelly is on drugs?! I mean rly…..I just kpt wishing that I was there so I cud giv her the good back hand pimp slap followed by a “Chic sit yo *beep* down!& shut up! lol

  • Tiffany

    I sooo can not stand Kelly! I really despise her the more I watch the show! She is soo out there! And not in a good quirky way! Bethenny did not deserve to be attacked by her at all! My husband never watches the show but did last night..and he was floored! He was like what is with that lady? (Kelly) I told him she wasn’t like this in the way beginning..now she has completely flipped her wig! MAybe she is acting..if so..she is trying to get camera time the wrong way! If she isn’t then..she needs to go to a Dr..

    Lately the show has been getting sooo aggravating! So much bit*hing! Hating on each other one minute..and “Darling!” the next..Don’t know if I can bear to see next wk with Jill popping in on them!

  • JenG

    Can you imagine what would have happened if Sonya hadn’t stepped in? There could have been things thrown, more screaming and delusional behavior from Kelly! Wishful thinking!

  • Sarah

    The only thing that would make this season better is if Nene from Atlanta guest starred in the Carribean! I wonder what Kelly’s kids will think about the show when they see it. I cant wait till next week, even though I still dont think Jill will learn anything. Maybe they will ditch her and run away on the yacht!

    • JenG

      Great idea! It would be great if they would switch housewives and let them spend a season on another show. I would love to see Kim of Atlanta housewives spend a season on NY and Danielle spend a season on Atlanta. Send Tamra to NY and Jill to the OC.

  • Sarah

    Kelly Bensimon is CLEARLY crazy, in every definition of the word. She’s either borderline or bipolar. Finally Kelly Bensimon has found something that she’s naturally good at (sorry Kelly, even with a life-size horse in the middle of your living room, you’re still not as ‘classy’ as you’d like to think kyou are), which is being crazy.

  • mochababe73

    I wrote two things on my FB page that sums up the episode”
    1. Kelly said that she was a Disney movie while Bethenny was a horror movie. I agree because this dizzy chick has obviously been on that Tea Cup ride too many times.
    2. That entire episode gave me a headache.
    Kelly is just koo koo for cocoa puffs. You just don’t talk or try to reason with someone who is clearly mentally insane. Her blog consisted of 2 sentences.
    Jill is so delusional and self-absorbed that she can’t see that arriving unannounced at Ramona’s get together is just wrong.

    By the way the rental on the villa is anywhere between $22,000-30,000 a week. The rate depends on how many are in your party, rooms used, and whether or not you have a chef on site. There was a link on Ramona’s blog. The place is stunning.

    • mochababe73

      Ooops! Loved your recap. Spot on as usual. Keep ’em coming.

  • reese

    there are drink cocktails and drug cocktails…… tweeeeeeeeek!

  • Bagolicious

    Is Kelly on drugs? Or maybe she needs to be on some…as in some real strong prescription ones!

  • Mona

    Going back to last week ,Bethenny never told Kelly she needed to have a one night stand it was Sonja. Kelly blaimed it on B and call her a hobag.
    Someone needs to protect her girls, they should be removed from her now.
    I saw this happen with my stepmom and it will not get better unless she can get profesional help.
    Bethenny is the main one her anger is focused on and she should stay away, because it could be dangerous to be around her.
    The last show really frightened me because I live with it and I know what can happen

    • Jane

      I couldn’t agree more. My sister has borderline personality disorder and she is exactly like Kelly. Extreme emotions from one moment to the next, everyone else is out there to hurt them, its never their fault if something goes wrong, expert manipulators, and completely self involved. However, I have never ever seen my sister act like Kelly had I was never afraid of my sister, but I sure would be afraid of Kelly she is truly scary. I would stay away from her at all costs. I agree get her kids out of there. I can’t believe the producers even aired this show because I would think they should have said listen you need help and if you don’t get it your of the show because there is no way I will continue to watch this train wreck of a show ever again it it stays this way.

  • swags

    Great recap. Kelly has always seemed off. Last night’s episode was as though all of those odd moments and scenes with her lead up to this huge trainwreck.

    I think Bethenny summed it up last week with the crossed wires. “Bzzz Bzzz”

  • Jane

    Wow. What a MELTDOWN Kelly had!! If that episode was “for real” , Kelly has some serious issues and needs to get some help. I don’t think she is a bad person. I think she is spiralling out of control and she needs help. This show is not helping her in any way…

    • After I wrote the recap, I read Bethenny’s blog about last night’s show because I heard it was interesting, and she said that the parts that Bravo aired were actually tame compared to the totality of what happened. If that’s true…well, Bravo should be ashamed of themselves for exploiting a person that clearly needs help in order to bolster their ratings. The rest of us out here can only comment on what we see, obviously, but if there’s more to the story then Bravo needs to take some responsibility on the subject and not sell it as Kelly just being stupid and self-involved. Or perhaps they encouraged Bethenny to write that to make us all talk even more.

  • Mona

    Legally there may be nothing they could do but take her home. If they just took her home and did not show part of what happened then everyone would be mad about that. Hopefully someone will see this and get her the help she needs.
    Did anyone see the previews of Kelly’s version of what hppened on the Bravo web sight. Her version is totaly different from what we saw.

    • Well, if she actually had some sort of nervous breakdown or is suffering from an illness, I don’t think any reasonable person would be mad at them for not showing it to us. I’m not entirely convinced that’s what happened, however – and if that’s the case, bring on the footage. I don’t think we can really know either way at this point, since Bravo is only showing us select footage. If I had to guess, though, my guess would be that she’s an attention-seeking moron.

      • Mona

        Kelly seems to think that everyting would wonderful if we all lived in Kellyland. Noone could disagree with her, and we had to live by her rules. ” Be nice, shut up, zip it, do as I say, worship me because I am so beautiful. ”
        LOOKS FADE STUPID IS FOREVER!
        Maybe they let us see part of what she did so they could say they have good reason to kick her off the show. I don’t know.
        Maybe she was trying to make Bethenny, Alex, and Remona look like the mean girls and she just wasn’t smart enough to pull it off.
        Kelly has said that as as long as people as talking about you that at least you’re getting publicity. So maybe she did this because in her mind any publicity is good publicity.
        I certianly would not want her to be the face of my product or chairty. Not ever!

  • DD

    I think Kelly was experiencing extreme levels of anxiety. I think she was anxious about going on the trip initially and it grew over the week. This anxiety helped her to spin irrational stories in her head (paranoia). We all know that when there’s a lot of anxiety, there’s a lot of aggression. Furthermore, she has seen both Bethenny and Alex become aggressive with some of the other women. (Jill and LuAnn have also has been very aggressive, but she doesn’t seem to get that. Oh, yeah, Ramona, too – they are all really hostile people!) She became very aggressive to defend herself against these alleged offenses. I believe she also knows on some level that Bethenny and Alex are bright women who can talk and reason rings around her. and that is scary to her. She felt alone and in jeopardy and unequipped intellectually (which she is) and she gradually decompensated – fell apart during the course of the week…She definitely needs some help.

  • jean

    I think she’s on drugs and started to hallucinate this stuff……and what was with her candy obsession? Who brings blow pops on a girls trip to the carribean? My vote druggie!

    • suz

      Do you suppose she is one of those people who goes crazy when they eat too much sugar?….Naw….that’s too easy.

  • ZazuMcGoo1
    • Jesus, she has her own version of reality, doesn’t she? The thing that always surprises me about these shows is when people lie so blatantly about things that were captured on tape for all to see.

      • Nee

        Wow! Just watched that video. Her version of the story, when reality was caught on tape, really proves her stupidity. Even LuAnn and Jill look like they do not believe her “version”.

      • Jane

        She is a liar!!!! Nothing like that happened, she was the one obsessed about Bethenny being a cook. And what is her obsession with Bethenny seriously? She is so jealous of her it is so embarrassing. Last week when Kelly said that Bethenny said something mean about her “friend” Gwenyth Paltrow I had to laugh out loud. I am sure Gwenyth as Kelly refers to her has no idea who the hell Kelly is other than the former wife of Gilles Bensimone. Why do these women even talk to her I would have to laugh in her face every time she opened her mouth because there is no way I would believe anything she omits from that trap that is attached to the wasteland that is her brain and her one brain cell. I would agree she is on drugs, people who are on them are addicted to sugar and she brought lollipops on her trip bags of them. Wow. crazy chick

      • La Reina

        First, I LOVE this blog ‘ thank you Amanda! Besides the obvious and previously stated comments (that Kelly relates her OWN version of reality which is far from the truth), it’s even more unsettling that someone who claims to ‘hate’ gossiping about each other, talking badly about each other, trying to one-up one another’ ‘ sits at a table with Jill, Luann, and Jennifer and gossips a story about her time with these women where she was the mean antagonist, calling people names and being the nonsensical instigator. I also agree that she may be on drugs. I used to like her. I can’t stand her now. When someone asks you a question to clarify an outrageous statement or claim you just made and you can’t answer it (Jill: ‘like what?’ Jennifer: ‘were they fighting between themselves”), and only speak like you’re in 5th grade to reply ‘it doesn’t matter’. It’s just’. and I can’t stand that” Um, WHAT?? She is certifiably crazy. I don’t know where KellyLand is, but I don’t ever want to visit.

  • Moira

    Craving sweets and erratic belligerent behavior are symptoms of diabetes actually.

    • mari

      to an extent diabetes can make aggressive and belligerent, if your sugar is very low, too much carbs would make her sleepy. The crazy is not diabetes it is something else that does need to be looked into. she needs help, and her kids need help from her.

  • Paty

    I got the impression that she was on drugs or something. She just wasn’t making any sense at all. No one can be THAT crazy and function in real life.

    The whole thing was just bizarre.

  • Adrienne from Cleveland

    Anyone that comes up with a “complaint” pad (seems like she is the only one complaining about ANYTHING) doesn’t deserve to be on this trip. She was invited to a gorgeous setting on where most people NEVER get to be (yacht, mansion, tropical paradise islands, etc.) and she tells the Host to ZIP IT????? Has she EVER Thanked Romona for putting this together and including her? Did she THANK Bethanny for personalizing a huge tote full of free goodies just for her? Who does this stupid chick think she is? I would be GUSHING THANK YOU’s at every corner had I been invited! I would be worshipping Romona (which I already do!) and thanking her every minute!
    And speaking of “not sleeping around”, did she ever tell any of these girls that she is on the cover of March 2010 Playboy? Hmmm??? (my boss has a copy at work and I have to sneak in and open it up tomorrow and see what other inconsistencies there are in there about HER and the “perfect, innocent personna she is attempting to portray” in front of her “friends” and the rest of the world. I will let you know what I find out.
    KICK HER ASS OFF OF THE ISLAND – I would gladly take her place and enjoy the you-know-what out of myself, lend many helping hands, clean up after everyone, and gush total gratitude to Romona for throwing the most lavish party EVER!
    And about Bethanny being there after her dad died – that’s probably what she needed the most. Kudos to Bethanny and it’s shameful for the additional heartache and confusion that Kelly is throwing at her and everyone else and RUINING the fun that everyone should be having and the peace that Bethanny needs. It would have been a much better scenario than having that flaky idiot spoilsport crying whining conceited, egocentric NUTCASE in their midst.

  • MiMi

    I’ve always had this thing about people who contradict themselves, so….Kelly doesn’t eat processed foods?! Gummy Bears, Jelly Bellys and lollypops being the exceptions, huh?! Seriously though, did she have to go on the trip out of some contractual obligation to BRAVO? Because if I threw up and thought someone was going to stab me to death, NO ONE could make me go on that trip. By the way, I’m actually liking Ramona this season and loving Sonja!

    As always, great recap Amanda! Can’t wait until next week!

  • Seejayluvsbags

    I couldn’t believe what I was seeing…seriously, my mouth stayed open & I couldn’t even move I was so stunned! Kelly was way over the top & scary—I would have been afraid to be around her after the cameras stopped rolling. I LOVE B, her outbursts remind me of myself–a bit loud, can be vicious but always on point. Did not appreciate Kelly telling her that she wasn’t a cook yet “Didn’t know B went to culinary school”. WTF? Then why say anything, you effin’ idiot?

    Thought the photo shoot was a waste & so glad B didn’t attend. Really like Ramona & think she looked better than most chicks half her age in a bikini! Sonja is really cool & so not fake despite the wealth & privilege. Alex is a fav too but was a little aghast @ the ape-like faces she was making @ the beach. Jill & LuAnn no doubt feel like fools for passing on the most BANGING TRIP EVER!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh yeah….& Kelly is built like an 18 year old high school football player …that is all…

  • melissa

    I feel sorry for Kelly’s kids! Some day they will see all of this. She needs to think about that instead of whether Bethenny is a chef or not. Yikes! What a train wreck.

  • Air Jordans

    women should have a wonderful life~~

  • NCGal

    Kelly is high. High. Period.

  • Judy B

    All of the NY housewives (exception is currently…Sonja) are back-stabbing bitches. Ramona love to do her own thing and stir the pot as she does it…loves attention and is an insecure mess. Kelly?…who knows what the hell she’s thinking or going to be doing from one minute to the next…she is either nuts or a good actress…I also wonder if she has ever been fully clothed , I suspect she wears micro-minis in a snow storm. LuAnn is a prime example of a pseudo class act…needy in every sensthoughte, and will use anyone, anytime for her benefit…a real phoney..I cannot stand her nor Bethany As for Bethany …she thought people would see her as wonderful cute & witty and could get by with saying & doing anything until she discovered she couldn’t..in reality, she is as needy as LuAnn and her cute mouthy come-backs wore off a long time ago for me. Both she and Kelly are not comfortable in the society they so much want to be a part of. Alex…Alex is alright for who she is..she has made no secret in the past about wanting for her & her husband, a life that makes the society pages.. but at least polite & thoughtful… until she’s been crossed..then look out! Over all I like Alex and would have lunch with her. Jill…Oh Jill…she has managed to make a big turn around this season…Got too full of herself (like they all have,,except Sonja) Jill and Bethany were good for each other too bad they didn’t realize that before Bethany got too big for her britches and hurt Jill’s feelings…then the claws and mouth’s turned vile and dangerous. Jill has to realize she is not the director of people’s lives and not the last word on anything…in fact all the housewives have to learn this. My favorite is Sonja..and what I seen so far from her is that she is likeable..likeable enough that I would have lunch with her also…in fact, a lunch with her & Alex might even be fun…I could ask questions and they would answer..they could do the same with me. My most favorite of all is Jill’s husband Bobby…he has a head on his shoulders, is polite and very likeable…its no wonder he is a real life success…Oops…I forgot..he’s not a housewife..but then none of them are real housewives..even the married ones!

  • Kattie g

    Kelly is so out of her mind. Why can you not tell a story as it happen. I think she is so jelous of Betthany That it is not evan funny. AND Jill What has ever happened to her? She should know bethany better than that if she was such good friends with her. I am so glad that us normal people don’t have lifes like them. I will have my humble life then to have to contend with that.

  • La Reina

    This episode was so crazy & scandalous’ like a car crash. Kelly is a contradiction wrapped in a blow pop wrapper from 1979. If blow pops were around in 1979…? I think she is the poster child for all of the qualities that she claims to hate. She berates people for acting like children, but I’ve never witnessed anyone else act more immature. The scene where she has a meltdown about the gift bag from Bethenny and calls Jill (seriously? seriously.) to cry about it and express her ‘fears’ was one of the most disturbing parts of the episode for me. Did anyone else pick up on her preoccupation with Bethenny kissing people & her tongue? She mentions it at the infamous dinner scene (‘are you guys gonna kiss? like, with tongue?’), but also on the call with Jill (‘there’s like knives on her tongue’ I can’t even imagine Jason kissing her cuz she’s ‘ she’s like’ filled with knives”). Ummm ok. Kelly, I thought that sharing feelings was sooo 1979? You sure spent a whole lot of time venting your version of reality and your ‘feelings’ about it all to Jill (and Luann & Jennifer on next week’s preview!). How do people with no feelings cry? I can’t stand hypocrites and when she talks about other people’s fake boobs, the no feelings, the lies and b.s. that she invents’ it’s all so frustrating. Use the complaint pad! LOL! ‘ The imagination is a powerful tool, and oddly enough I think she actually believes the fantasyland in her imagination. I absolutely think she is ‘on’ something. I really wish we could see or hear the stuff they edited out, as alluded to by the others in the blogs. If they can’t show it, I really wish someone would give us a breakdown because it’s all so confusing. Hopefully next week provides some much-needed insight!

    Keep up the awesome recaps Amanda! They ROCK!

  • Ashley

    The minute I saw her hair I knew she was crazy. How come no one commented on her appearance? The hair, facial expressions, etc., just screamed crazy. Her words were just a manifestation of the craziness of her appearance.

  • Isabelle

    I’m way late on this but have been out of the country. So anyhow, I heard from a shady acquaintance (confirmed with a google search) that crystal meth smells like cat pee when it burns. Sonja mentioned that Kelly’s room smells like cat piss when they were drunk… coincidence, I think not. That chick is either bat sh!t certifiable or on something.

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