It looks as though our lovely relationship with The Rachel Zoe Project is breaking up next week, but we should enjoy it while things last. After all, with awards season ending, we should have seen this coming. The writing was on the wall. I blame myself.

The thing is, we won’t be able to enjoy our last days with this show if the relationship contained therein keeps trying to alienate us. We just want to love you, Rachel and Rodger! Why won’t you let us love you??? Also, if you promise to show us more clothes next week than you did last night, we promise not to make you talk about that whole uncomfortable baby thing again. We swear.

Remember last week when Brad was irritated that Ashley took a few days off because she was sick? Well, she’s getting “fired” for it. Now that awards season is over, they don’t really need her any more, and the decision to not continue to pay her seemed to be made pretty quickly. Poor girl – she was verbally dismissed while not even being present, and then she was never spoken of again.

Conversation quickly went from firing Ashley to cooking seder dinner for Rachel’s entire family, and then from cooking seder to babies because The Rodge wanted a decision on having kids before Rachel’s family arrived for a visit. All Rachel was concerned about was making sure she didn’t have to stick her hand up a turkey’s hoo-ha to cook dinner, and also that if she were to get pregnant, she would be allowed to wear Chanel in the delivery room. She has the perfect cape for it. It would be a moment.

But before any turkeys could be stuff or babies made, we got to meet a comedian named Amy Phillips who has earned a reputation for impersonating Rachel on the internet. Rodger had some kind of bright idea about shooting a viral video with Rachel and this comedian lady, during the filming of which The Rodge threw a marker at Rachel, cussed at everyone who was having a good time, and generally fumed, scowled and whined his way through the afternoon. Good to see that he managed to be consistent from the last episode to this one. Perhaps I’m just biased because I’ve wanted to throttle him so badly for a few episodes now, but his reaction seemed entirely unprofessional.

He was able to gather up his manhood and apologize to Brad for cussing him out in front of a room full of people, though, and then the flood gates open. The Rodge has never seemed to like Brad all that much, but he more or less let loose about his relationship issues while talking to him in private. I am sympathetic about the lack of work that Rachel seems to be doing in the relationship, but perhaps discussing it on a reality show with your wife’s employee isn’t the best course of action.

Speaking of poor courses of action: next, instead of having a rational conversation with Rachel like he had with Brad, Rodger yelled and cussed at Rachel when she said that she’d rather he didn’t yell and cuss at the employees that way. To me, that’s a totally reasonable request – no matter how stressed Rodger is, there’s no reason to blow up like that and make a fool out of everyone. Rachel needs to show him more respect while at work, but The Rodge also needs to act like someone who deserves professional respect.

Next on the agenda was picking dresses for Rachel’s new client Beau Garrett, who is apparently an actress in a film called Tron that I’m already not interested in. Beau was beautiful and needed very little to make her look great (which Brad was very excited about), and she also had an adorable dog. She was also very agreeable, which helps, as does being tall and thin and looking great in everything. Uh, plus she has a great actress name. Beau might be so cool that I hate her a little bit.

A fashion emergency is never far away, though, and suddenly the team had to style a yoga photo shoot for Molly Simms. I’m not sure where Brad and Jordan were supposed to get yoga clothes, but I’m pretty sure Chanel doesn’t make that stuff. Or maybe they do. They make skis, after all, and yoga is a thing that rich people do as well. Jordan pulled stuff from Lulu Lemon (duh, should have thought of that) and Brad approved. Since Rachel was had gotten stuck inside of her seder turkey and was nowhere to be found, Brad’s approval was the only thing that was needed.

Except, well, it wasn’t. Brad had been told no white, and all the photographer (or creative director? Who was that guy?) wanted was white. Oops. A wardrobe “powwow” was required and Brad felt terrible, and I’m not sure why they couldn’t just put her in a solid-colored outfit and Photoshop it white afterward. I mean, I can do that. It’s not difficult, and it probably would have been faster than sending an intern to navigate the Los Angeles freeways in search of a pair of skintight white shorts.

While all of this was going on, Rachel was at a grocery store of all places. As you might have guessed, Rachel is not a frequent visitor to a grocery store and never cooks, so her shopping methods were…inexact. She wanted to buy challah for Passover, which is kind of brilliant in its airheadedness. Rachel and Rodger continued to snipe at each other throughout the grocery trip, and it became more and more clear that they both need to take a timeout and probably go on vacation far away and without Blackberries, as Rodger had suggested. Awards season is over, Brad and Jordan are capable, why not take a few days to themselves? Not that The Rodge gets a pass – calling Rachel a retard in a decidedly nasty tone of voice is not constructive, particularly not in public and in front of cameras.

Rachel and Rodger managed to get the groceries home without killing each other (with the help of Rachel’s assistant Marissa), at which point a soda exploded and Rachel and her Hair Gay discussed whether or not turkeys have hair. In Rachel’s defense, raw turkey is totally vile, not to mention heinously smelly, and I don’t like handling it either. She had managed to forget latkes, brisket and kosher gravy, though, so she sent Marissa to secretly procure those things from a, uh, “reliable source.” She also outsourced “bowl options” from Jordan.

Someone had the nerve to bring a baby to the seder, so we had to have the Rachel Baby Conversation again, this time with the Hair Gay. Rachel insists that her clothes and bags are her babies and she doesn’t need anything else, which I think is a perfectly reasonable stance, but they finally sussed out the source of Rachel’s fear – she doesn’t want to carry the baby because she thinks it’ll be too hard on her body. I’m not sure why they don’t hire a surrogate if that’s the thing stopping Rachel from wanting a child, since it seems as though they have the financial resources to do so.

Rachel’s also scared that she would have a miscarriage or other medical emergency with the baby, which is a valid concern – she’s toward the end of normal female fertility, and the risk of miscarriage rises when you get that close to 40. Surprisingly, when the Hair Gay (whose name I genuinely do not know, or I would use it) asked her if she was afraid of getting fat, she said that she wasn’t without a moment of hesitation or any break in eye contact. I believed her, and I didn’t expect to.

Thankfully that conversation only lasted a few minutes and we got straight back to the food to take our minds off of the difficult issues of fertility and health. I’m not sure exactly how much of the dinner Rachel “cooked,” but the seder looked not only delicious, but warm and familial. Even Rachel’s parents were there, and her dad did perhaps the realest thing that a dad could ever do on reality TV – he pressured Rachel to get pregnant during the toast. It was all very cute, except that the episode then ended with Rodger threatening to divorce her during a spliced-in interview. It must be fantastic to hear your husband say that on television, huh?

In the end, this episode was short on clothes and long on relationship drama, which is a wonderful demonstration of why seasons of this show only last eight episodes and always take place during awards season and fashion month. Next week Rachel is styling the Met Ball, though, so hopefully we’ll have more clothes porn for the season finale.

Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • texashermes

    It is almost impossible for an anorexic to become pregnant

    • esora

      Just because someone is thin does not make them to be an anorexic. I myself have always been a small framed person and people always make the assumption I don’t eat. I weighed 95 pounds when I got pregnant. I had a full term healthy pregnancy. You should not judge people based upon there looks.

  • shallowgal

    She’s too self-absorbed to have a family. And not everybody needs to have children, which of course we all know. Why this is the “story arc” this time around is truly baffling.
    Rachel should have shut down all conversations about their decisions on all fronts, even from her family.

    But then, where would the “drama” be? I wonder what her reaction to Rodger’s threat was upon viewing the episode?

  • girlonawing

    Rodge and Rachel will not be divorced this is just show drama I am sure
    I don’t think you can get pregnant if the only thing in your diet is Starbucks. You need to have a certain amount of fat on you to nuture an zygote. I thnk the baby business is just television hype. After all how many times can you watch Rachel and Brad look at clothes and put her feet on Coco Chanel’s sofa. (SMACK!!!)

    • It all struck me as kind of fake as well – I’m not entirely convinced that Rodger even wants a kid, it may all just be for the sake of having a non-fashion storyline in the show.

  • Toni

    This episode was such a downer despite the family dinner. Now that Taylor is gone I suppose all the attention and manufactured drama can be focused on the unwilling Rachel to become pregnant. I don’t know how much of this show is scripted but if what Rodger said was true (leaving Rachel) then I’m swearing off all reality shows – it’s just too damned depressing.

    • CJ6

      The fact that someone would threaten divorce in order to get ratings and provide episode drama is actually more depressing than if he were in fact serious. It is depressing all the way around and why I continue to watch is beyond me. I guess I need to work a little harder on my own life I look forward to the day when I am completely out of touch with what is going on the Bravo network. Thankfully episodes like this one push me one step closer to that day.

  • Tiffany

    Yea this episode was more about Rodger being frustrated yet again..Rachel trying to do everything and stressing! I feel for her cause it is a big deal to have a baby..scary too..I was fine with my two sons..but a yr ago I lost a baby when I was early in pregnancy. A year has passed since then..and I expecting again..things happen for a reason..if Rachel wants a baby..for her sake sooner then later..but she shouldn’t be pushed into it.

  • Mita

    1.the lady comedian reminded me more of Taylor than Rachel, which I found ironically funny.
    2. Rodger seems to be right in that they are never alone, never seem to spend anytime together being husband and wife, but most importantly, it seems that Rachel never want to hug him, or hold hands etc. How the hell will they have sex? She appears to react as if she hates being touched by him, has body issues and probably hates sex too.

    But I agree whole-heartedly, I watch it for the fashion, and want to watch more of! Not relationship issues.
    Are they getting divorced BTW
    And is she pregnant?

  • Laura

    This episode was painful to watch for two reasons: #1 how the hell can somebody cook wearing a cape, a hat, 6lbs of jewelry and sunglasses? Why did she even tried to cook in the first place? I mean, it’s good that she tried but she looked ridiculous. We watch the show to see clothes and glamour, not to see her trying to be somebody she’s not. Not all women have to know how to cook.

    #2, well, I think we all hated Rodger’s attitude and his overwhelming desire for having a baby. Didn’t we see that last week? I think one episode of “baby/pregnancy drama” is enough for a season. It’s sad that this season is ending so soon but perhaps there’s not enough “fashion drama” in Rachel’s life after the Oscars.

  • erica

    All I know is that I would have liked to see my name on a place card because the dinner looked like fun!

  • Bagolicious

    It was an absolutely boring episode. And Rodger is beyond sickening constantly whining about Rachel not getting pregnant. She obviously doesn’t want to or else she would have. So, he needs to stop the whining.

    So, if he really wants to have a baby, it wouldn’t surprise me if he eventually ended up with a 20-something and got started on having a family right away. I’ve seen such happen many times.

  • CJ6

    Don’t you think the decision to have or not have children would have been discussed prior to marriage? It seems as if they had an agreement about it and now Rachel keeps pushing it back. I would be disappointed and upset also but I would never carry on in front of the cameras like Roger and Rachel do. A marriage should be two people building eachother up and bringing out the best in one another. You want to present the best side of the one you love- for all the world to see. You protect the flaws of one another until behind closed doors. Especially when you work together professionally. These two seem to want only to one up eachother and are more interested in presenting their side and pointing fingers. Their pickering is nothing short of annoying and childish and if I were a client I would be really unimpressed. With each episode I have said no more and yet I keep coming back the only difference is now I DVR and only watch it when there is nothing else on. Sad because I used to really enjoy it now I just find it sad.

  • Handbag Lover

    I thought the episode was funny, especially her going to the grocery store. I think the team needs to be a little more respectful of their (Roger and Rachel) relationship. I understand they are her family but it seems they have no life of their own. Sometimes even tho they might want to go or hangout they need to say no out of respect for Roger’s and Rachel’s privacy. I coul totally understand why he gets frustrated but then he needs to understand that’s not what he married.

    I hate to see the show end. I notice, I never see her wearing any LV bags. Wonder why?

  • Mochababe73

    I am starting to be on Rodger’s side. He was trying, but failing, to get everyone to take the taping seriously, and they just wouldn’t. He lost it which is understandable. We all do. I don’t think that he owed Brad an apology. Brad had no business texting.
    Unfortunately, Rachel agreed to have a family 12 years ago, but she doesn’t want one now. Rodger wants a family, and for most people, that’s a deal breaker. I hate that Rachel finds such joy in inanimate objects. She appears to have a wonderful husband and a great family that is not being enjoyed or appreciated.
    People like that end up alone with their objects and no one else. I remember the Millionaire Matchmaker saying that men at his age want young wome with whom to have a family. If Rodger does leave Rachel, this is what will happen.

    • CJ6

      I agree with you. She let Roger believe they would have children and now because he still wants them some people think he is pushing her. I have known many women who let their husband and family plans fall by the waste-side to concentrate on their career and in the end they have ended up alone and remorseful. I am living proof that you can have both a successful career and marriage and babies. Not all women want or should have kids but if you made plans and promises think really hard before changing up mid-stream.

  • PhotoGirl

    This was a watershed episode for me: I fell asleep before Rachel even set foot in the grocery store! The last thing I remember was that awkward “apology” from Rodg to Brad.

    I’m bored.

    Less Rodger, less baby drama, more clothes, please. (This is the 21st Century! WHY do some people continue to insist that a woman needs a baby in order to be “complete?”) I’m tired of hearing about Rachel’s weight, Rachel’s marriage problems, and anything to do with Rodger or Brad. I really liked Rachel when the season started, but now I think the only people on this show that I can tolerate are Joey (the Hair Gay) Jordan and Marissa.

    Please, please, please let there be more clothes next week!

    PS: Challa for Passover??? Oh no, she di’ent! Good grief! Even I know better and I’m not even Jewish!

    PPS: I could not. Be. Married. To. Rodger. Ever.

  • adrienne z

    rachel needs to smile occasionally. and i mean a Genuine Real I Love You and You Make Me Laugh and be Happy smile. it would be a welcome change and make the show alot more pleasurable to endure as well.

  • adrienne z

    she needs to drink some of Ramona’s Pinot Grigiot’s!

    • CJ6

      And maybe follow it up with a Turtle Dance! I love it a little Pinot, a little I love you smile and a turtle dance- the answer to all that ails you!

  • Elena

    I get it, Rodge wants a baby, Rachel’s not ready yet, yeah yeah.

    MORE IMPORTANT: Where do I get the leopard jacket Rachel was wearing at the beginning of the episode? It is to die, bananas, have a leopard moment, and all that jazz. lol

    • I think it was probably vintage, but if you do some searching this fall I bet you can find a similar one – leopard and fur are both huge trends.

  • nielnielniel

    Roger is annoying. Just like how Taylor was. I don’t need to hear complaints after complaints. I can hear them in my real life. SHOW US THE CLOTHES!!!!

  • Chris

    Let’s assume just for one second that Rodger does not want to talk in public (because he wants to protect his wife) about the elephant in the room: the fact that his wife is anorexic, for years, if not for a decade. It must be very difficult to be married to Rachel, probably, as soon as the camera is off, she has to lie down, is nauseous, has a headache, is irritable, whatever. Intimate tender moments? I think not. As an anorexic, she will hate her body. Since years probably. Which would also explain the mix-up of private and professional life (then she does not have to discuss what she want to ignore). So, his true wish might be: get treatment, because it is starting to drain me, it is killing my love for you, and lets get a life together again.
    I do not doubt that he acts like a fool in front of the camera. But …. hmmm, I do not think this relationship is that black and white.
    I am not sure about this baby-wish – if they had indeed agreed about it, this is a deal breaker. However, I am not sure if this baby discussion is not just for the show.
    I do not want to bash Rachel – I still think that she is a very talented stylist. However, with all her issues, which probably takes over her whole personality and life, I doubt she is the right person for a docu-soap.

    • CJ6

      Chris you make some god points I bet Roger is truly worried about his life and as much as I love what Rachel does there does seem to be some real tension in her camp this season. Brad seems to be hiding his frustration and hinting at a more serious reason aside from the stress of the award season. It may be that their are real issues with Rachel’s health and diet.
      Roger did say that he and Rachel had both talk about children and that they had agreed to starting a family but she keeps pushing it further and further out. I just hope that she is taking care of herself and her relationships because success can be very very lonely if you leave everything and everyone important to you behind to achieve it. Money is no fun without someone to spend it one.

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