Once again, for the second time in as many recaps, I got a healthy dose of perspective from my weekend house guest while watching the penultimate episode of this season of Project Runway. After about twenty minutes, he looked at me and asked, “Is this as entertaining as it should be?”
My answer? No, no it’s not. Nor has it been all season. And yet it’s still going on like anyone, anyone at all, actually cares about it. Not only that, but it’s not even done after this episode. Project Runway‘s long, painful death march shall continue for another week. I feel like they should just cut out the audio and play Wagner funeral dirges for the entirety of the finale.
I’m not really sure what I’m going to recap because more or less nothing happened, yet onward we march. Someone strike up the band.
As with every season of this show that has so far come to pass, Tim Gunn went to visit the homes of the final three designers. First up was Carol Hannah, who had just moved to the NYC suburbs from Charleston, and her immediate family all flew in to make biscuits for Tim and be adorable. As a fellow southerner, I can confirm: biscuits are very important.
And then there was Irina’s family, who were decidedly more Eastern European. They all went out to dinner and talked about the American dream, which now amounts to being a reality show contestant. This is the society that we have created for ourselves, you guys. I’ll leave it up to you all to decide if we should be proud.
Finally we met Althea’s family, who were Midwestern and shared stories of Althea whipping up shirts in high school when she had nothing to wear. I have a friend that’s a fabric design major at UGA that does this, and let me tell you, it’s absolutely infuriating to the rest of us. Mom, why couldn’t you have bought me a sewing machine when I was little? Then I’d have new outfits all the time, too.
Tim also saw their collections, but there wasn’t really enough footage to give us a decent idea of what everyone was making. Except Irina, who chose to use graphics of Coney Island for some t-shirts (graphic tees at Bryant Park? Kill me now), and then pesky ol’ copyright laws got in the way and she had to scrap them. But sadly, that sign from the cosmos wasn’t enough to convince her that graphic tees are a terrible idea, and she went forth and made her own graphics. Other than that? Carol Hannah claims to have made pants and Althea did a lot of knitting during her tenure in Ohio.
Shortly thereafter, the whole gang arrived in New York City, except it’s not the whole gang because Carol Hannah has swine flu or something, and she has to stay back a day, and we get to see frenemies Althea and Irina awkwardly sip champagne in their hotel suite together while they pretended that they don’t absolutely want to claw each others’ eyes out. Which they totally wanted to do.
But Carol Hannah bravely fought off her illness and showed up later, in time to meet with Nina and Michael and for Irina to completely disregard all the advice that was given to them, because she knows more about editorial fashion and how to get into magazines than Nina Garcia does, obviously. Ladies and gentlemen, this is why I hate her.
If you thought that that was it, oh no, you’re wrong. And also, you’ve probably never watched a season of this show before. Because, twist! Or not really a twist: they had to create one more look, and they brought back the three most recently eliminated designers to partner up with them and help. So the twosomes were Irina and Gordana, Carol Hannah and Christopher, and Althea and Logan. We didn’t find out if this was helpful or not, since we hardly saw the helpers (or the designers) do anything.
Then they cast some models, and that was just about it. It was the most phoned-in, throwaway episode of Project Runway in the history of ever. I fully intend to DVR the season finale and fast forward straight to the runway shows. Ok, so I can’t do that because I have to write about it, but if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it.