So, as it turns out, bloggers get national holidays off too! Who would have known? Real Housewives of Atlanta and Labor Day conspired to make our Project Runway recap a little later than is ideal, but better late than never, right? Of course.
With that in mind, we’re going to try and make this one quick and dirty. For our take on what happened, make the jump.
So what did they do? They made surf outfits. Which have no relevancy to fashion whatsoever, and seems like such a throwaway challenge. What have they done so far? Evening gowns, maternity, and surf. And none of them were made out of nuts and bolts or auto parts or cabbage. And that’s a problem for me, because most self-professed designers that make it on to Project Runway can make a dress out of fabric just fine, even if it’s for a pregnant lady. I want something that’s actually a challenge, that shows resourcefulness and creativity and the willingness to take a risk. So far, the only people to take risks have been kicked off. Bo-ring.
And then the designers were told that, gasp, it was time to also make an avant garde outfit. Which made no sense, because it had no relevancy to the original idea of surf wear. Avant garde designers don’t also make usable surf wear, and designers that actually make usable bathing suits don’t also make avant garde things. At least when Bravo tried this trick, their juxtaposition of two looks made sense – it was pret-a-porter vs. couture, not surf wear vs. wonky surf wear. But if it’s this or nothing, I guess I choose this.
As promised, we got our first partner challenge. Our principle whiners were Qristyl and Epperson, who didn’t do well but also didn’t go home. At judging, instead of talking about their design, they each talked about how much the other person was a giant d-bag. Always productive, guys.
Speaking of judging, the entire thing kind of confused me. When they called out the first three teams, I thought for sure that they were the ones that would be in the top. Instead, they told ’em to go backstage. We were left with Mitchell and Ra’mon, Qristyl and Epperson, Irina and Johnny, and Nicolas and Gordana.
Irina and Johnny made some perfectly reasonable stuff, and I kind of liked the over-the-top take on macrame that constituted their avant garde look. Their surf wear look was also unoffensive and wearable, even quite pretty from the back. But they didn’t win. And neither did the aforementioned duo of Qristyl and Epperson – anyone that bickers like that shall never win. They weren’t oh-my-god-my-eyes-they-burn bad, but bad nonetheless.
The other terribleness was Nicolas and Gordana, who made a not-that-bad macrame top and billowy pants that had some hem issues, but also managed to make an outfit for what could only have been a tranny hooker of the sea. When stretch lace garters and micro-minis get involved, things can only be bad, unless you’re dressing up as 80s Madonna for Halloween. The chiffon collar was not bad, but everything below it made that angry vein in my forehead pop out. But they didn’t go home either.
Which leaves us with only one team and no winners or losers so far – Mitchell and Ra’mon. Their partnership was a debacle, and that’s probably putting it charitably. They had both been in the bottom three the week before, and Mitchell had yet to make anything resembling wearable clothing for both previous episodes. He really went for the threepete here; instead of making a contribution to the team’s two looks, he made a bikini that we didn’t even get to see and burned himself with an iron.
Ra’mon made the fairly average surf look and then made and remade the avant garde look until he came up with an asymmetrical cocktail dress made out of green neoprene. It wasn’t my favorite thing that I’ve ever seen (and I thought at least 3 or 4 of the other avant garde looks were better), but if anyone ever deserved an A for effort, it was him. He made two actual sets of clothes in spite of his useless partner, who is full of fail. And fail he did!
In what was a Project Runway first, Ra’mon was given the win and Mitchell was auf’d. Mitchell should have been out last week so we could have dear, odd Malvin with us once again, but I’ll take it. You have to be pretty awful to get kicked off for being part of a winning garment, but the idea that he was part of it is speculation at best, and as it turns out, doing nothing is actually worse than making an outfit for a tranny hooker of the sea.