I’ve found a new way to tell the difference between the Stephanies! It’s only the second episode of Kell on Earth and I’ve already figured it out, I’m so proud of myself. Really, it’s very simple: there’s a smart one and a dumb one.
Looking back, this should have been more obvious to me in the first episode, but you can only learn so much about an office full of people in the first sixty minutes. Last night’s show, though, was basically A Tale of Two Stephanies: one of them works hard and wants to get everything right and feels terrible when she screws up. That’s the one that we like. Then there’s the other one, the one that looks like she’s probably from California, and increasingly looks like she might be headed back there. She can’t even delegate correctly, and when something goes wrong, all she does is complain. Andrew, the gay/goth/glam assistant in the one-shouldered top, is not amused with her, and neither am I.
Before we get to the Stephanies, however, we have to pick up where last week’s premiere left off: the check-in list for the Chado Ralph Rucci show. It wouldn’t print, remember? Well, it never did, and even if it had, it looked like the entire thing would have been a giant disaster anyway. Part of the problem appeared to be Kelly’s fault and party of it didn’t – there was a mob of various crashers and wannabes outside trying to pretend that they had credentials and seat assignments, and then on the inside, people that actually had them chose to ignore them.
A certain amount of that probably goes on at all fashion shows, just like it does at all events with assigned seating and closed entry. It looked like crowd control was lacking, although I don’t know if that’s a responsibility of the designer, Kelly, or someone else. At the end of the day, though, angry people were being shuffled from seat to seat, the designer was pissed, and the people at Ralph Rucci fired our girl Kelly.
She didn’t have any time to sulk over it, though, because she had a show to produce for Genetic Denim and her employees were busy screwing things up en masse back at the office. Well, to be fair, it wasn’t all of her employees – it was Dumb Stephanie and the interns that she was trying to get to do her work for her. I’m not sure where Smart Stephanie was during all of this, although we did see her go get her hair done, probably because Kelly told her to get out of the office for a couple of hours, lest her head explode.
Which was fine, since Dumb Stephanie provided all of the entertainment that this episode required. She made the interns gather round and gave them lessons in making a phone call (the button marked XFER means ‘transfer,’ shock of shocks), which was the last thing she taught them to do correctly for the entirety of her camera time and probably the entirety of her career. Actually, I’m just assuming that they were taught correctly, since we didn’t directly see any of them screw up that part. I’m giving Dumb Stephanie the benefit of the doubt.
It’s possible that that’s charitable of me, because after the phone lesson, we found out the following things:
1. She told the interns to use the big-package stamps on the tiny show invitations because she didn’t think to look for any regular ones, or maybe because she was just too lazy. Or maybe those two are actually the same thing.
2. She forgot to tell the interns that were supposed to be working the Genetic Denim show that they were working it, and then she lied about it when someone asked, which was easily debunked by asking the next intern that walked through the door.
3. She left a room of interns to make and distribute gift bags to very important people with no supplies other than a Sharpie and a stack of white paper sacks and apparently zero instructions.
4. Despite that she got the entire staff yelled at over the crappy VIP gifts, she sent the interns back into the room, didn’t supervise them (let alone do it herself – Smart Stephanie would have done it herself), and the exact same thing that happened in #3 happened again.
It was a task that should have been completed by two interns in the space of an hour. Kelly ended up doing it herself because no one else understood how tissue paper worked.
Every time Dumb Stephanie screwed up, she said that yes, it was her fault, but then complained about not lack of training or sleep or whatever. I’m not sure exactly how much training or rest she needs in order to remember to tell a few interns to show up for Fashion Week and use the appropriate stamps, but she didn’t seem to be able to handle even the simplest tasks. Nay, she couldn’t even effectively delegate the simplest tasks. How she managed to get a job at a serious firm is beyond me. I felt bad for the interns in her charge.
Apparently so did Kelly, because she personally spoke to one of the intern’s mothers in what sounded like Ireland to assure her that her son had not managed to get lost somewhere in the bowels of New York City, but that it was Fashion Week, he was working hard, and that’s why she hadn’t heard from him in two days. It was adorable, and my boss at my old internship certainly wouldn’t have lifted a finger. In fact, I’m not sure that he was aware that I even had a mother. He seemed to think that I had sprung fully formed from some kind of vortex under his desk. Alas, that’s another story for another day.
Anyway, despite Dumb Stephanie’s best attempts to ruin everything and burn down the building, the Genetic Denim show seemed to go off nicely. Well, except for the model that collapsed. I should mention that. Since this wasn’t a traditional show but rather a “presentation,” the models had to stand perfectly still for hours on end while people milled around and drank free champagne. One of the male models locked his knees for too long or something and keeled over, taking part of the Swarovski-studded set with him. It all got fixed in a matter of minutes, however, and they sent him back out to wear his jeans. Not even Dumb Stephanie could keep him away.
In the end, the majority of the potential disasters were averted, and that’s probably the best that you can hope for in any high-pressure office. All of the teaser footage that we’re seeing about someone eventually getting fired is probably about Dumb Stephanie, but I hope we get to see her flounder around and pout over her own lack of ability for a few more weeks before she’s removed. Although if she stays around for too long, Smart Stephanie may pass out as hard as that poor male model.
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