Christian Louboutin Trottinette Ankle Boots

I’ve got a dirty little secret: I can’t wear high heels. With a twice-dislocated knee (the last dislocation of which I’m still in a brace for) and a ten-times-dislocated (and once broken) ankle, I’m an orthopedist’s nightmare, even in sensible shoes. I can blow joints out by merely existing, let alone teetering around in glorified stilts. I’ve had joint injuries with a frequency and severity that most professional athletes never encounter.

And yet, I just can’t keep myself out of the shoe department, even if it’s only to look. The sculptural lines of high, high heels enchant me, and I can’t help but think of how wonderful my legs would look in any of them. I marvel at girls striding easily in them, because I know with complete certainty that it’s not something I’ll ever be able to do.

But if any of fall’s new shoes would be worth another dislocation or broken bone, it would be Christian Louboutin’s Trottinette Ankle Boots. It’s taken me a long time to hop on the ankle boot bandwagon, but for a shoe like this, I’ll buy in. I think what makes it different, to me, is the top strap and buckle – instead of looking unfinished like many booties, they looked tailored and planned, like they were obviously meant to be worn with tights or tucked-in skinny pants so that the entire shoe is on display. Also, the beautiful grey suede is versatile and appropriate on a multiple occasions and with multiple colors, including this season’s all-important berry tones.

The shoe’s concealed platforms allow for an even taller stiletto heel without breaking the clean line of the shoe, making it all the more prohibitive to yours truly. Which only means one thing: one of you have to buy it so I can live vicariously. Buy through Net A Porter for $1,195.