And then, it was over. Last night, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finished both its fourth season and seemingly interminable three-part reunion special, and hopefully it’s the last time we’ll have to deal with Carlton and Joyce in such a capacity. Rumor has it that they won’t be asked back for next season, and based on how little we heard from both of them other three hours of reunion whining, Bravo seemed to be encouraging us to forget about them entirely.
Recaps of awesomely dramatic TV Shows!
Last night, we trudged through yet another hour of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, during which we tackled (but by no means answered) such important question as whether or not Brandi drinks too much (probably) and whether or not Carlton’s an anti-Semite (probably not). Real Housewives isn’t a show of answers, though, and maybe that’s why we have to have another hour of reunion time next week.
I still haven’t caught up with last week’s season finale of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills after my trip to Texas, it didn’t really matter one way or the other when it came time to figure out last night’s reunion. That’s because the Housewives only talked about the same things they’ve been discussing all season, and they said more or less the same stuff they’ve been saying the entire time.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills usually isn’t a nostalgic show, but last night, they insisted on devoting more or less an entire episode to sending two Housewives spawn off to college, and that brought about some memories for me. It was convenient that it did, actually, because the episode was relatively boring other than that. Lisa mustered up some tears again, but by that point in the episode, we had spent so much time shipping people off to college that her tears seemed out of context at best.
Well. Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills certainly was dramatic, even if the allegations that the group wanted to level against Lisa were often unclear at best and petty complaining at worst. I’m not sure if that’s because the rest of the Housewives aren’t as smart as she is or because Bravo edited the episode to make Lisa look like she was being hounded by a gang of confused harpies, but either way, not much truth was established and some people cried and the husbands had fits over various things.
Considering how much drama the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have squeezed out of high school kids’ parties this season, I’ve become super curious about what all my friends’ parents were doing while we were sneaking beers at the high school graduation parties they threw for us in the back yards of their metro Atlanta McMansions. Whatever drama went on, it was in a more modest venue than the Moroccan room at Yolanda’s ex-husband’s house, that’s for sure.
When you consider the explosive party that capped last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, last night’s episode was downright tame. Carlton threw a party without a single naked person at it, Kyle and Brandi went on a hike together because now they’re united by a common enemy and Cedric may be on the run from Lisa’s goons in a remote part of France.
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills both began and ended with two classic Real Housewives fight archetypes. First, Joyce and Carlton did the not-so-friendly one-on-one lunch sitdown, and it was perhaps the most inane one in Housewives history because it was about spells. At the end of the episode, Kyle (again with Carlton) went for the big-blow-up-at-a-supposedly-fancy-party variety of fight, bookending this episode nicely.
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was fairly boring in the way that Real Housewives tends to get boring every few weeks: the season’s initial round of conflicts has been more or less resolved, cast members who are good at stirring the pot were mostly absent and Carlton’s attempt at an Eyes Wide Shut-style pool party turned out mostly to be a regular pool party with a couple of naked ladies in liquor-logo body paint.
After the imploding disaster that was last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, this week’s edition was comparatively tame. When you consider the contents of the episode – two tales of home invasions, shooting lessons, self-defense class, stripper auditions, a confrontation with a drug dealer (Brandi’s dad), a nearly-dead fitness instructor and Governator cooties – it’s surprising that it didn’t feel more tense, but everyone mostly laughed along with each other and behaved.