As you can imagine, the Rebecca Minkoff Leopard Baby Bag inspires a multitude of questions. Chief among them, however, is one that has been at the back of my mind since I started writing for this blog: why are baby bags so often patterned?

My status as a childless woman probably means that there are a few finer points to baby bag choice that I don’t entirely understand, but as best as I can surmise, a pattern provides two possible conveniences: first, some types of pattern hide wear pretty well. Second, the prissy pink paisleys that usually characterize baby bags announce to the world that the owner does, in fact, have a child. Although I think that they baby they’re likely also carrying should be enough to make that clear.

So on the one hand, I’m glad that this isn’t as gag-inducingly twee as a lot of baby bags are. On the other hand, red leopard print and turquoise trim are not the answer to our diaper-carrying quandaries. In fact, this particular color and print combination is the answer to absolutely nothing. I’ll admit that it’s got a bit of an 80s-meets-rockabilly thing going that I’m not entirely opposed to, but this color combination simply doesn’t work on this scale. It would have been a better idea as a clutch.

Which brings me back to my first question: why all the pattern on baby bags? They’re always big and obvious, making any pattern that’s used for one seem completely over the top, and pattern is really hard to match in most wardrobes. Since a baby bag is an everyday necessity for a new mom, and new moms are usually desperate for ways to feel “put together” and normal, can we all just agree to ditch the patterns in favor of using smart, chic, durable materials that a woman can be proud to wear? If you need further evidence, look no further than the plain black version of this very same bag. Buy through ShopBop for $395.

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