Dolce & Gabbana Jewel and Pearl Embellished Clutch, $6895 via Net-a-Porter

The most important thing to note about the Dolce & Gabbana Jewel and Pearl Embellished Bag, right up front, is that it’s a full foot wide. I’m going to allow you to adjust to that information for a moment, perhaps measure an air-foot out with your hands to get an idea of the scale that we’re talking about here.

Ok, are we good now? Great.

For those of you who are having trouble visualizing exactly how gigantic this bag is relative to the amount of random shiny things that are stuck to it, here’s what it looked like on the Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2011 runway:

Image via Vogue

Most bags that have this much, err, embellishment are usually about five inches wide, with extremely rigid structures to stand up under the weight of so much stuff. This bag, on the other hand, is more than twice as large and still looks like it was covered in glue, dunked in glitter and then attacked by a wanton Bedazzler. After seeing it on the runway, I wondered if it would even get to production or go down in history as one of those wonderfully daffy fashion show pieces that stays in the archives forever, in a bit of very stylish suspended animation.

I was wrong, though, because you can buy it! You can buy it if you have seven grand for which you have run out of uses. I bet Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj have already received theirs, gratis. And really, they’re the only people who could get away with carrying something so over-the-top. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $6895.

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