Dear Millie: Month Two

Dear Millie,

While this website is about designer bags and accessories, I’ve always shared a bit of my personal life as well. To not share you with everyone feels like leaving out such a large piece of my life, so I want to be sure that you’re always included into this little piece of the internet that your mom and dad created together long before we ever had you.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been two months with you already. Your two-month birthday was on the 21st, but one thing you will learn is that your mom gets a bit busy and a bit behind–I’ll apologize for that now. Time has both flown by and seemed to stand still. Some days I look down at you and can’t believe how much you’ve grown, and others, typically in the wee morning hours when I’m nursing you, I wonder how much longer I can keep my eyes open and how much longer you’ll want to eat before going back to sleep. To say that our lives have changed would be an understatement. I always tried to be incredibly aware of the fact that I’d never truly know what it was like until I had you, but it can’t be overstated how true that has turned out to be.

Having you has been such a learning process and a joy that fills my heart with a kind of love I’ve never felt before. I quickly learned that my plans are good in theory, but sticking to “my plan” has flown out the window. You came into this world in a way in which I least expected it, and the hours and days after you were born were not what I expected, either. I packed a really cute robe for the hospital and by day 3 after my C-section, it was the nurse who suggested I finally change into some normal clothes, though I was content wearing my hospital issued robe and undergarments. I was barely functioning and couldn’t imagine feeling normal again, but day by day, I slowly made progress. You, on the other hand, have been such a great baby and handled your short two months wonderfully. When I have felt my worst, you have calmly slept, seemingly waiting for me to get it back together. It’s as if you’ve always known what I need, and I never anticipated you being the one that taught me that those hard moments would pass–I always thought it should be me teaching you.

I skipped the month one letter, mostly because I have felt a bit like a zombie until a few weeks ago. Month one was filled with both of us learning about one another, and while I have learned so much patience, you too have been incredibly patient with me. You got a pretty nasty diaper rash that I felt horrible about, but you were such a trooper and didn’t fuss much as I found my way to get you healed up. You’ve been patient as I tried to put you in all sorts of ‘cute’ outfits until I finally gave in to the fact that a gown at night time is best, and during the day, I still want super-easy-access clothing. I’d try to get your little arms into the super stylish outfits that look great on Instagram but are horribly cumbersome in real life, but real life has prevailed. These first two months have been filled with learning, and often I find myself telling you, “It’s ok, not every day can be our favorite”. We’ve found our way together as a little family, and you continue to be one of the happiest babies ever!

Unlike your father and I, you don’t have a voracious appetite but you are sure to let us know when you’re tired! You’ve been a solid sleeper from day 1 (I thank you for that, times a million), and you have this distinct cry that lets me know you’ve gotten overly tired. You love when dada (daddy has been calling himself “dada” and really pushing it, hoping you will say his name first!) does squats while holding you and you’re fussy, it lulls you to sleep. You love the car even more; you would sleep for hours on end in the car, so I spend a lot of days driving around in circles with you. You immediately fall asleep, so I take our car rides as time for me to hit the Starbucks drive-thru and catch up on calls with friends and family.

Most people say you look like your dad, and it’s true. Sometimes I look at you and the resemblance is so strong, I can’t get over it! The doctor even commented that you and your dad have the same hairstyle right now (which, by the way–we don’t know how you ended up with a nice head of dark hair). The smiles, oh the smiles! You recently started smiling at us and it is my obsession. The happiness I feel when you see me and smile at me fills my heart more than I could have ever imagined. Dad and I make the most annoyingly high-pitched voice and so many silly faces to try to get you to smile, but you typically give them just because!

You haven’t carried your first handbag yet, but you have quite the tiny collection amassing. I’ll have to share with our readers, because I think they are the only people who will appreciate it and possibly not tell us how insane it is. (But it is insane!) I carry your diaper bag (review to come soon) and stuff it to the gills–totally a new mom thing, I’m sure I’ll pare that down as I get the hang of this a bit more.

I’m so incredibly happy to be your mom, and as much as having you has turned our world upside down, when it’s the middle of the night and I hear your little voice letting me know that you’re hungry, I always find myself smiling through my tired eyes because these moments won’t last forever and I love soaking in each little memory best I can.

Love,
Mama

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