Vaginal Yoga. Water Birth. Night Terrors. Bereavement. These are all hard-hitting issues we dealt with (or pretended to deal with) in this week’s episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I’m not gonna lie, this episode of KUTK blew me away with its sheer emotional magnitude. Its deep exploration of the human condition. It almost makes up for the fact that most episodes leave me feeling like I’ve decreased my IQ by 12 points per viewing.

How did this ep up the ante? Four words, people: at-home water birth. If you’ve ever thought of doing it, or you’ve ever been weirdly curious about what it entailed, you might want to DVR the repeat of this episode. If you’re like me, and pregnant women make you ridiculously squeamish, a word of warning: there are some things you just can’t UN-see. This is one of them. I forced myself to watch it twice, for research purposes. The things I do for you Kardashian lovers… (more…)

So where were we with Keeping Up With The Kardashians? Right – Kris Jenner was exacting revenge on Bruce for having golf dates with a former supermodel by getting some “closure” with her long-ago ex, “Todd.” I put his name in quotes because I remain unconvinced that he’s not just a talking blow-up doll. We reconvened with Todd and Kris as they decided what to do about all that oozing sexual tension. (Yuck.) Surprise, surprise, Todd just assumed Kris Jenner was good to go (though to be fair, they did rendezvous on the rooftop bar of a hotel…) and threw all his chips on the table by brazenly asking what room they were in. When Kris wasn’t immediately DTF, he tried to salvage his golden opportunity by ordering a round of shots. But Kris finally had a much delayed crisis of conscience – and decided not to get down and dirty with this douchebag. (more…)

This week, Sunday night with Keeping Up With the Kardashians was particularly trying. I first had to watch this horrible, horrible episode of KUWTK, and then I had to expend even more precious brain energy analyzing it. As if these people and their actions aren’t totally transparent. Kris Jenner’s emotional infancy has me seriously fuming this week. I apologize in advance for the liberal use of all caps, but seriously. ANGER. Thankfully there were enough attractive guest stars (and bottles of vodka) to get me through the night.

For starters…little Mason already knows what “show me your abs” means. GROAN. (more…)

Sometimes I think that Real Housewives seasons exist solely so that we’ll have something to talk about at the reunions. Watching last night’s finale of the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion, I definitely got that feeling; the entire season seemed like a run-up to what may have been the juiciest reunion episode ever, and despite the fact that it took 20 episodes to get there, it seemed worth it.

Donn was cheating for decades, Vicki was cheating with Brooks. Everyone knew about all of it. Brooks is so afraid of Brianna’s reasoning skills and general sense of logic that he refused to appear on the reunion during the same segment as her, and I can only fantasize about what it would have been like to see Brooks questioned by someone who has both intimate knowledge of his situation with Vicki and two brain cells to rub together. (Sorry, Andy Cohen. You don’t count. You weren’t asking the tough questions.) As always, let’s enumerate the the things we learned after the jump. (more…)

So last night on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kim, Scott, Rob, and Johnathan (remember him?) were in London. And Bruce, Kris, and Khloe were in Boston. Hopefully, you were somewhere else other than on the couch drinking white wine and watching E! from 9-10 pm EST last night, and that’s why you’re here. Wise choice. (more…)

Last night’s Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Part 1 went pretty much how you’d expect. The OC ladies are more than willing to catfight with each other in whatever setting they might be thrown in to, so there was plenty of drama and entertainment. People called each other fake, shifted alliances were called into question, Alexis continued to mispronounce things, Tamra’s hair was enormous.

As always, I zoned out during some of the more impenetrable shouting matches, but of the things that I did catch over all of the shrill squawking, some of them were actually sort of interesting. As is traditional with reunions, I’ve enumerated the stuff I learned after the jump. Thankfully things ended after an hour, because I was almost starting to feel a little twinge of sympathy for poor ol’ dumb Alexis. I’m sure I’ll be back to hating her at full speed when Part 2 of the reunion airs on Monday. (more…)

This episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians opened with the infamous “flour bombing” incident from last April. While it seemed fairly dramatic (and Kim seemed fairly mad) at the time, here we just saw Kim cracking jokes and brushing it off (both literally and figuratively) and stepping back out on to the red carpet. The incident is just a little blip in this episode, but if it hadn’t been around the same time Kim and Kanye started to get publicly cozy, it probably would’ve been a much bigger plot point.

Elsewhere, peeps were still putting pressure on Khloe to haul Lamar’s giant ass out to NYC for Scott’s restaurant opening. Khloe wasn’t taking their calls, but after a barrage of sweet tweets and phone messages from Kim, (and an apology for yesterday night’s “Odom vs. Kardashian” debate), she was finally wooed back into the clan. SUCKER. She eventually pitches the NYC trip to Lamar, who was excited about it, in a very vocal, nay, musical kind of way. Now that Kourtney was back on Team Kardashian and Lamar was down for the NYC trip, everyone could finally focus their haterism on its most frequent and willing receptacle: SCOTT. (more…)

Reality television is a fickle beast – some weeks, I’m ready to rip my eyes out from sheer boredom as the Kardashians repeatedly trip over themselves trying to create a decent plotline. But other weeks, 3 particularly juicy ones fall right out of the sky. In this week’s episode, Lamar Odom got released from the Dallas Mavericks, which meant the not-so-triumphant return of Khloe and Lamar to L.A., and the set of “Kardashians.” (more…)

On this week’s episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, the vacation from hell continued. Indeed, it became even more hellish. Khloe snuck off in the beginning of the episode, thankful she got to go crawl back into the safe arms of her “peaceful” gentle giant, Lamar Odom, claiming she needed “a vacation from this vacation.” I think we’ve all had those family vacations, so this expression seems particularly apt. (more…)

Just like an argument can be made that the real story of Mad Men is about the women who inhabit Don Draper’s universe, I’d be willing to consider that perhaps the real story of Real Housewives of Orange County is about the men who buzz around our cast members like so many horse flies. Other than Drunk Sarah getting kicked out of the party, last night’s episode was almost entirely about the husbands and boyfriends.

The things they said, the things they saw, the things for which they demanded apologies – the dudes really stole the spotlight, and that’s quite a feat when you consider that they stole it from a group of women who are professional spotlight-hoggers. The men were the ones instigating fights and peeling out of driveways in self-righteous rages, proving once again that the OC husbands and boyfriends are truly the worst of any Real Housewives city. Heather should count herself lucky and hold on to Terry for dear life. (more…)

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