Time flies when you’re spending funds having fun.
It’s been 2.5 years since I started my luxury bag collection and almost one year since I began writing for PurseBlog. The journey has been pleasant but not always what I had imagined it to be. Just a few years later, I’ve begun to understand the major differences between the expectations and the reality of collecting designer handbags.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far.
Expectation You’ll build a huge collection practically overnight.
Reality It takes years to build an extensive collection.
When it comes to luxury goods, it’s easy to get sucked into the mindset of always wanting more. First, you want a tote. Then you want a crossbody. Then you want a beach bag. And so on and so forth.
This mindset is only aggravated by online communities that glorify flex culture and make it seem as if everyone (everyone except you that is…) is living in some fashionable fairytale land with unlimited funds and access to the latest collection pieces.
But I’m here to tell you that as a new collector, some things are simply going to be beyond your reach. At least in the beginning.
You may want a collection so extravagant that your closet resembles a showroom at Saks; but in reality, it takes many years to build up those impeccable collections filled with every classic, in every color, for every occasion.
You’ve got to start slow.
These items are called “dream bags” for a reason – because we’re supposed to dream about them for a while. We’re supposed to prepare and plan and take our time pursuing whatever is next on our wishlist, not jump straight into stockpiling.
Believe me, I still fantasize about having an enviable hoard of purses too. But it’s important that we enjoy the journey.
That’s what makes them feel special.
Expectation You’ll love all of them equally.
Reality You’ll have a favorite.
Just because every bag is special to you doesn’t mean you won’t have a favorite.
Sometimes what looks cool in pictures doesn’t actually fit into your wardrobe. Sometimes the bag you lusted after for months isn’t that practical. Or it’s a bit uncomfortable. Or it’s too delicate for everyday use.
Whatever the reason, you’ll begin to realize how distracted you become by the newness of every item you get. You’ll be overjoyed when you finally receive the bag and swear to never put it down, but that only lasts until you get one that you end up liking more.
Expectation You’ll never get tired of carrying them.
Reality You’ll definitely get tired of carrying them.
You will never get tired of the feeling of owning designer bags, but you will definitely experience moments when you’re tired of carrying them.
Taking a long walk along the beach? That raffia satchel feels awfully scratchy against your freshly sunburnt skin.
Maybe you’ll spend a day out with your family…guess who will be responsible for hauling everyone’s belongings in that stylish tote?
90F heat with a high humidity index? You won’t want anything touching you and most certainly not anything made of leather.
As beautiful as your bag might be, sometimes you’ll practically be begging to put that thing down. High quality comes with a little more heft and can mess up your posture if you let it. Try not to sacrifice comfort for style (at least not too often.)
Expectation You’ll have great relationships with S.A.s and get invited to private sales.
Reality You’ll still window shop and mostly buy online.
For many people, the in-store experience is an integral part of the bag buying journey. There is nothing like being greeted by friendly S.As who offer you free champagne to make you feel like a member of an exclusive club full of rich, well-dressed people.
You think “I could get used to this,” before realizing that sustaining a relationship with them requires more than just the occasional one-off visit to the shop.
This means that many, if not most of us, still window shop without any real plans to become a V.I.P.
(But that doesn’t mean we can’t crack open something fizzy to enjoy while browsing Fashionphile listings.)
Expectation You’ll live a dreamy life where you look glamorous 24/7.
Reality Sucky parts of life still suck, even with a nice bag.
Life isn’t a magazine ad. Your luxury bags will certainly help you feel more put together but they won’t protect you from fluorescent dressing room lights or blasts of icy wind. Nor will they heal heartbreak, cure you when you’re sick, or mediate conflicts.
But they still make you smile during the non-picture-perfect moments in life.
Expectation You need a certain bag to feel complete.
Reality FOMO is real but life goes on, with or without the bag.
I hate to break it to you but that purse you want SO BADLY won’t make you feel complete. Its sturdy structure isn’t a replacement for learning to stand on your own two feet. Its beautiful materials shouldn’t dictate how you show up in the world.
I know it’s hard to hear but life goes on even when you can’t have every single purse you want. Obviously, if you have the means, get your bag, sis; but there is no shame in gradually working your way down your wishlist. Not everyone lives near a luxury mall or is in a position to drop beaucoup loot on an IT bag every 6 months. And that’s ok.
Don’t let FOMO rule you or make you feel like your little collection isn’t enough. There will always be someone with more than you but your thoughts, opinions, and preferences are still worthy of recognition. You belong here too.
The sooner you take your place as a rightful member of the luxury community, the sooner you’ll realize that your satisfaction mostly comes from engaging with others anyway.
Love the last one in particular. It’s so easy to fool myself into thinking “If I just have this (one more) bag, I’ll be content with what I have.”
Love this!! Six years from my first major bag purchase and can certainly relate to ALL of this….for better or worse. Still buying bags tho ?
Fun article with great insight. In the beginning I purchased on a whim and regretted many of my purchases. I now purchase with planning and thought. I have to really love the bag, either know it has great longevity or love it so much I don’t care, keep my bag purchases to a minimum (usually no more than 1 per year and I even skip a year if unsure or cannot get exactly what I want). They cost so much that really thinking it over and making sure it fits your lifestyle is key to being happy with your purchase long term. Please make sure a purchase is something that you can take care of, I read so many posts on color transfer and scratches. Know the durability of what you buy, take special care of the item, and only buy light colors if you are ok with potential color transfer issues etc. Light color bags are more difficult to keep looking new.
Totally agree. I can’t tell you the amount of money I wasted when I first got into designer bags, trying to keep up with the latest and greatest, without giving enough thought about whether a trendy bag was actually good for me and my lifestyle. It’s so easy to get sucked into feeling like you always need to have whatever is most popular at the time, but (1) that’s impossible unless you have unlimited funds, and (2) it’s not the recipe for curating a collection that you will actually use and love.
Yep. I think most of us have gone through that phase.
Great relatable article. I think the biggest rule I learned was to stay in my lane. Not sure Chanel or Hermes are in my future and I am ok with that. As much as I love a new bag I typically get 2 or 3 a year. I am not a celebrity or influencer. I will stay in the slow lane over here. 🙂
I can definitely relate to this comment. I seem to be drawn to YSL after straying from my “lane.” I find when I buy a trendy bag it doesn’t suit my daily life and then I start looking for something new. I should stick to what works for me and listen to the influencers.
“Staying in my lane” perfectly describes me too. While I wish I had the collections of influencers, I don’t even know where I would keep all of them!
That was a fun piece of writing! I really enjoyed it.
This is amazing!! And as I plan to start my designer collection (some day), I’ll admit to being guilty of having ALL these expectations – glad to have found it at the right moment!
You will definitely have them! I told myself that I wouldn’t and then I still did! There is something about buying a designer bag that makes you want to throw all reason and foresight out the window. LOL. It’s hard to keep myself in check sometimes.
I know right! It’s just such a logic-defying desire…
I think the biggest problem I’ve noticed as I’ve built my collection is that I’ve tried to cover a LOT of bases, with a range of colors, sizes, levels or formality, etc. I had this idea that each new bag I added needed to fill a hole in the collection. But honestly, the more holes I fill the more I realize there are just certain styles of bags that I never reach for. I have an ancient Rebecca Minkoff Nikki hobo in excellent shape and the most beautiful shade of periwinkle, and I cannot bring myself to get rid of it because objectively it’s the perfect size and I love the color, but i haven’t worn it in years. Last year I bought the new Gucci Jackie and I have worn it twice, even though I thought the size would be a good every day and the color, oxblood, is beautiful. I think I just need to quit hobos forever!
I’ve been collecting for 16 years now. One thing I’ve learned is you’ll eventually find the bag that works best for you, and then you’ll need up buying it in multiple colors. I’ve got about 50 bags in my collection. Half of them are Balenciaga cities or firsts.
I really loved how honest this was, especially for someone who has severe back issues and can no longer carry most of her bags until I get myself together.