When I first became interested in designer purses, I didn’t know anyone else who shared my passion for a jewel-tone Boy Bag or a pristine black Peekaboo. I felt alone in my new hobby, and frankly a little silly. Everyone around me gasped at the prices of my dream bags, and after the gasp always came the accusatory look that said, “you’re planning on spending WHAT on a purse?!” For the uninitiated, the prices of the bags precludes any appreciation for the aesthetic value of luxury bags. I try to explain it to people by comparing fashion to other art forms, but inevitably the attention shifts to price. I’ve been accused of carrying designer bags as a status symbol to impress the people around me.
These perceptions are common among people who don’t understand why I would throw down 2K for a bag, and I get it—that’s something I struggle with sometimes too. But loving and owning purses is comparable to collecting any other type of art, and I have found that when I tell people I’ve just purchased some new art, the reaction is very different than if I tell them I’ve bought a new purse. All this is to say that every purse lover needs a purse friend: someone who gets it, and someone who will send you a link to a purse you’ve wanted forever when it goes on sale. I used to pass women on the street carrying Gucci Dionysus bags and ask myself, “why can’t you be my friend?” Yes: I’m a little weird.
But finally all my dreams came true when I saw one of my work colleagues carrying what looked to be an Hermès Evelyne. I had worked with her for a while and we got along well. As we grew closer, I noticed that she had an extremely solid collection of bags. Michelle and I started hanging out regularly, and I’ll never forget the delight I felt when she met me carrying a brand new toffee suede Pandora. That was the moment that I knew she was like me, and it was also the moment I became extremely jealous of her Pandora, which was the perfect size and a beautiful color.
Our purses are always there right beside us, solidifying an unspoken bond. We are purse people.
Purses don’t form the basis for our friendship—we have a lot of other things in common, but having someone around who can appreciate my bag choices is just…nice. We talk about our jobs, our pets, and our ex-boyfriends, but our purses are always there right beside us, solidifying an unspoken bond. We are purse people.
I hope that the artistry of beautiful purses becomes more appreciated as we advance beyond sexist notions that fashion is somehow less of an art form because women tend to consume it more. It troubles me a bit that there is such a high financial barrier to entry for people who are interested in purses. The proliferation of fantastic indie brands at lower price points is encouraging. However there are two sides to this debate: buying art is an expensive investment too, but we can still appreciate it through study and research. The depth of knowledge necessary to understand the history and artistry of high quality bags is astonishing, but it’s rarely taught in classrooms. This means that becoming knowledgeable about purses requires a certain type of independent, enterprising personality. If you’re serious about bags, you probably know how to do your research and learn on your own, and that’s exactly the type of person I want to count as a friend.
The internet is extremely helpful for finding new purse friends: I love reading through all the PurseForum posts and feeling the sense of community that underlies the conversations about Mariah Carey’s purses and the merits of a Marmont vs a Soho. But I’ve found that it’s especially satisfying to meet a fellow purse lover in real life, almost by accident. I am grateful to count Michelle as a friend: she’s smart, kind, and introverted like me. She opens my mind to new purse possibilities, urging me to consider styles and colors that I had no interest in before. If you don’t already have a purse friend, I’d highly recommend finding one: it makes a passion that much more enjoyable when you can share it with someone who understands.
Michelle’s Picks
Dior Oblique Saddle Bag
Celine Classic Box Bag
Chanel 31 Bag
Louis Vuitton Mahina XXL Bag
Hermès 2018 Togo Birkin 30
Totally agree! I consider it “functional art”. And I do tend to downplay my purses when I’m around people who “don’t understand” because they get judgemental…same people who spend a fortune on wine, jewelry, cars, etc. I have a couple of “purse friends” IRL, but I do like the TPF community for its diversity
I am very lucky that I have three good “purse” friends. One who I have lunch with every Friday is absolutely the best person to discuss purses with and even better she rarely says no when asked about potential purchases.
Jealous! Where are you located? 😉
Please don’t make us look at that ugly impractical asymmetrical Dior saddle bag any longer.
That needs to stay tucked away WAY back in the early 2000’s, when that eyesore first emerged.
Celine, new creative director isn’t always a good thing. This holds especially true in your case.
When a brand puts out timeless classics that are highly coveted and STILL sell out , that should be a sign.. give the people what they love and want!
Yes, I need a handbag friend very badly! Sadly, none of mine understand my passion. “That’s a cute PURSE”, is the extent of their admiration and comments..
Sigh.. just like philosophers and literary intellectuals need partners to converse with to stimulate their minds, such is the need for a kindred soul in this love of mine for bags.
So true! Im really looking for one who ‘gets’ it My non-purse friends think buying a factory Coach after previous one is broken down is a splurge and cant understand my love of bags and the cost. I once said ‘but you vacationed this summer, I got a LV – we both spent on our lifestyle/joys – same thing ‘ and got a look that said I was so sad..lol… Also met a few who pretended to get it ..but grew extremely judgemental as time went on. Crossing my fingers that I find my purse friend soon 🙂
It’s crazy cause even living in NYC I found a purse friend through a completely different avenue. It was late at night that I was waking around soho and she stumbled out into the street from a nightclub and said to me “omg you’re adorable, wanna come inside for drinks? I have a VIP table. Free drinks”
And there it began. She had me at free drinks and we stayed friends because we had a lot in common. Dressed in all black. Had “out there” personalities, among other things. This was 7 years ago and I still love her to this day. Love you Caroline <3
I feel so alone when it comes to my obsession. I have one friend who lives about 30 min away who’s into purses as much as I am but we don’t get a chance to get together very often. It would be nice to have someone closer that I could bond with about this crazy obsession.
I’m lucky to have a sister who also loves bags so we are each other’s sounding board when it comes to discussing the merits of a bag. Our mother didn’t understand our fondness for bags initially but I guess since we have gifted her with 4 bags over the years she has come to appreciate it more. I was so proud when my mom came home from a trip recently with a new bag that she chose and bought all by herself.
Oh how I need a purse friend!! No one that I know gets it at all. Thank goodness for TPF but would love very much to have a real life purse friend.
Give yourself some time. Time and financial independence do wonders. And you won’t care as much about what people think of you.
“I’ve been accused of carrying designer bags as a status symbol to impress the people around me.”
And the problem with this is??? I want a purse friend who has the ballz to admit this–it’s the exact reason I buy luxury bags. I don’t need shrinking violets in my world…..
Very lucky to have several dear purse friends, all of them now more-than-purse-friends. Met the first one here on TPF and later took offline to in-person bonding. Much like this story, met another at work. Another – a longtime more-than-purse-friend, whenever she comes to visit, goes straight to my bag closet to greet them: “hello, friends”. Joanna, Veronica, Angie and Natalie – you know who you are!
I definitely have a few purse friends. Most of them I’ve met through TPF! I don’t have any purse friends living in Atlanta, and it makes me sad. Thank god for the internet and cell phones.
Well, your purse friend is pretty much set from day one when she’s the one that raised you. My Mum has always been a great purse friend and will be. I do have other purse fanatic friends but I don’t really report my every single move to them. Mum, on the other hand, knows my collection, prices and just about everything else.
My 37 year old daughter is my purse friend since we share the same love for designer bags. However, it’s only been the last few years that I could afford designer bags after saving forever! Last Christmas I gifted her with an Hermes Birkin and she carries it everywhere. Recently, I was able to purchase a Birkin for myself, but I’m not as confident and have yet to carry it. Her best friend loves and appreciates designer bags as well, but mine are judgmental which may lead to my indecisiveness re: carrying expensive bags. My daughter said I should carry it because “people may think it’s fake, but you’ll know it’s real”.
My purse friend is my cousin who unfortunately lives 2000 miles away. We went to NYC together a year ago. We went to five Louis Vuitton stores in one day, plus Prada, Fendi, Chanel, Gucci and more. We spent hours at a traveling LV exhibit in lower Manhattan. It was absolute bliss. No one else in my world gets it. My purses truly are little works of art and when I am not carrying them, I look at them in their display case.
Ive just started out my collection, I am thrilled, but I have nobody to share it with! I am a student and have so far got myself a Celine small belt bag in black, a Gucci Dionysus WOC in supreme canvas and a small Chloé Hudson in motto grey, and next up is either a Chanel classic WOC in black or a LV neverfull in, probably, damier ebene.
I come from a very, very small town in northern Sweden, there are no designer boutiques to be found unless you travel more than half the country away. My parents know nada about brands, and especially brand pricing. I was have, very carefully, brought my Gucci WOC around my parents, my mom recognised it as a “designer bag”, I guess because of the GG supreme logos, I said it was Gucci, but claimed it was “on sale for $200….” when she asked what it cost, it was not. It was bought full price, around $800 or so. She still gasped at the price, so I definitely won’t tell her the price of the Celine or Chloé once I feel that I am confident enough to introduce her to them. Lol.
Luckily she for sure won’t recognise those brands so I can pass them of as anything. I am afraid that she will recognise the CC logo on my future Chanel that I am about to buy though, but I guess I might save that surprise for when I’ve started working. She lives far away from where I study so I can just hide all of the bags when she visits. If I could I would just spare her the knowledge about all the prices as she and my dad has never ever splurged on items like this, they are careful with money, and that’s how they raised me. They come from non-luxury backgrounds and I am honestly very ashamed about my hobby. Even if they would never know the pieces I would STILL feel awful about it, but I try to tell myself it is OK as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody. This is really awful. I know they would faint if I told them what I am planning on spending on handbags. I hope my mom doesn’t know about Hermes Birkins or Kellys.
The truth is that I have never brought any of my (few) bags around my friends either, except for the WOC once. The friend I brought that one around didn’t say anything about it (I know she recognises Gucci) until a waitress complimented me on it and started chatting with me about it, as she wanted one herself and had some questions, after the waitress left my friend just asked how I could afford it as a student, I thought that she sounded a bit judgemental, and then said nothing more. Not that I expect everyone to compliment my bags (not at all really), but the way she asked me just made me feel bad about it. Maybe it’s just in my head though, it might be my insecurity speaking.
I hate that I feel so self-conscious about my bags. Like I have to justify why I chose to buy them. Luckily I don’t know anyone in the town I study in, so I can bring them out carelessly around there, but as soon as I travel to see my friends I chose a non branded bag. I understand that this must seem so silly, but I am just so ashamed about my “careless” spending.
In a way I feel that I want to have some more to my collection before I am ready to start showing my friends. Like it somehow becomes more “real”, like I am serious about my hobby. To somehow “justify” my spending. Does this make sense? I’ve decided that two more bags will do, then I might be able to “identify” myself with my hobby on a deeper level, like, I would then BE the girl that collects handbags. Not just some girl that has bought a few crazy expensive handbags for the sake of having expensive handbags. Yes, I guess I am “judgemental” like this, I am afraid that people will judge me thinking that I am just doing it to “show off” or for the “status”, it is really important to me that they understand that I do it because I love the artform, like someone on here described it.
Luckily, I am just as exited to see my bags on the shelf as I am when I bring them out, so I don’t really suffer from taking my time to adjust to my (almost) new identity. But of course it would be nice to just feel relaxed about it. I’ll just get two more, and then I’ll just force myself to bring them around my friends! I am sure it will be fine, I just need that to, I guess justify it to myself! I know I overthink everything, I guess I just am like this. Ha ha!
I have some form of a purse friend: she doesn’t collect them, but she always gives appreciation for the beautiful bags I carry.
Love this post. So true. I have one purse friend and now two of my teenage kids (one son one daughter) are also into LV (not sure that is a good thing! ??).
HI MY NAME IS KEVIN AND I’M 57 YEAR OLD DISABLED AND BLIND IN 1 EYE PURSES TO ME VERY EXCITING BECAUSE WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG MY GRANDMOTHER ON MY MOMS SIDE WOULD ALWAYS ALOW ME TO OPEN HER PURSE BECAUSE TO ME A LADIES PURSE REMINDS ME OF A PRESENT OR GIFT WRAPED PACKAGE. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO OPEN SOMEONES HAND BAG A VERY LONG TIME I ALSO AM A BELIEVER IN JESUS AND LOVE GIVEING ALL MY MINISTRY MATERIAL WICH ARE ALL FREE OF CHARGE I LOVE TO OPEN PURSES THAT TAKE FOREVER TO OPEN BECAUSE UNWRAPPING A VERRY HEAVY PURSE BRINGS ME A LOT OF JOY BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW WHATS INSIDE UNTIL I TEAR INTO IT AND PLEASE DON’T TAKE WHAT I’M SAYING INCORECTLY BECAUSE I ALWAYS ASK PERMISSION BEFORE OPENING ANYONES PURSE AND I ALSO DON’T TAKE OR STEAL ANYTHING OUT OF A PURSE. PLEASE SEND ME AN E-MAIL ASAP. MY E-MAIL LOCATED ABOVE. MAY GOD BLESS U ALL.