I understand that not everybody is a handbag lover. In fact, no one in my life takes handbags as seriously as I do. Bags are my “thing”, which I’m willing to bet they are yours too since you’re here on PurseBlog – I love my PurseBlog tribe! While no one in my life truly understands my bag obsession or is as into fashion as much as I am, they each have their own hobbies and interests that they choose to spend their money on. Photography, travel, food, and art are popular hobbies in my circle of friends and I enjoy hearing about each of these things in detail from the people that I surround myself with. I take a strong interest in hearing from my loved ones about their passions and sharing my love for purses with them in return. It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I’m a bag gal, and try as I might I just can’t keep my excitement to myself when I acquire a new bag.
As a bag and fashion lover, it’s not unusual for my friends to send me photos of bags, accessories, or clothes they’re thinking about buying and I’ve become the friend that everyone asks “do I need this?” or “is this cute?” before buying an item. I’ve guided friends through their first designer purchases and have weighed in on non-designer purchases many a time as well. Friends will also share photos of their new acquisitions that they have already purchased, which I love to receive. It’s nice to connect with my friends and family over something that brings me so much happiness, and fashion has always been that source of joy for me. In preschool I came home from school and announced to my mom, “I’m interested in looking my best at all times now”, and I have really tried to uphold myself to that standard.
[sc_ic_ad1]So imagine my surprise last week when I received a text from one of my very best and oldest friends on this entire planet to tell me she “bought a bag that looks just like a Louis Vuitton for $40”. My first instinct was to stay cool. This friend dresses well and makes good life choices, maybe it just was an inspired by Louis Vuitton bag…which is kind of better, right? I texted back and asked to see a photo with hopes of obtaining more details and trying to stay as neutral as possible. I was not met with good news. She sent back a text…and after nearly blacking out from shock I laid eyes on a photo of a knock off Neverfull in Damier Ebène canvas, Louis Vuitton logo and all. The text also came along with an explanation that she had purchased it online after seeing it on a blogger that she follows who linked to it, which is shocking in and of itself, but I digress.
As a lifetime purse lover and contributor to a website dedicated entirely to purses, this one hit me hard. Like, really hard. Truthfully I feel lucky to have avoided this situation for as long as I have, but I really didn’t know how to navigate it when it arose. If I were to remove the element of friendship from the situation, it would be simple and I would only have one piece of advice: return or burn. But this is my very best friend and I really didn’t want to make it an awkward situation, so I said…nothing. I just ignored it and moved on. I would have liked to have offered alternatives, scoured the internet for a $40 tote that was amazing and not an illegal counterfeit, or asked the simple but burning question on my mind: why?
[sc_ic_ad2]Why did I say nothing? While I have a few reasons, a big one being that I didn’t want to get into a fight over it, the main reason took some true soul searching for me to figure out. The truth of it is I didn’t want to appear condescending, which I think it could come across that way since I own a lot of authentic Louis Vuitton. I do believe that if this friend knew the conditions that counterfeits were made in and how illegal they were, she wouldn’t have purchased it, which I hope to organically bring into conversation soon to prevent her from making future counterfeit purchases. In a way I blame the person who linked to it in the first place, but I kind of regret not making my stance known to my friend even though the bag had already been purchased when I found out about it. This has very much been a learning lesson for me, although I hope to never encounter this situation again.
I’m posing the question to you: what would you have done if you were in my shoes? Would you have said something or ignored it like I did?
Original illustration by Kat J. Weiss
Also, money can’t buy style so… I’ll just leave it at that.
Good on you. Not everyone wants to spend $$ on purses and you would have made her feel pretty horrible if you had called her out. Let people enjoy their bags, auth or not.
This argument is one the most tiresome I’ve every seen anyone use on the internet.
Being against the fake industry has nothing to do with not understanding that others does not want to spend a lot of money on purses, there are plenty of nice finds for under 100 dollars and even under 500 dollars. Real leather and all. Nobody has to buy a fake designer bag to have a bag.
This is a tired argument. If there are such nice finds under $100 why are you even frequenting this site or forum and spending money on more.
I mint to write 50 dollars.
Same as you did- I would have kept my mouth shut-not worth losing a friendship over a material item, even though I think she bought something bordering on immoral……..it would have been judgmental and self righteous had you said anything.
My lips are zipped. It’s not like cheating on your husband!
I would not have said anything either. I’ve even had relatives buy fakes and berate me for buying the real deal. I just tell them to each their own. I’m not doing it. For me, it’s not worth the fight or losing a friend/family member over a handbag. Besides, none of us want to be lectured over what they spend their money on.
It’s not anyone’s business how others choose to spend money, handle their marriage, job or relationships, health etc. People’s choices are their own, and should never be subject to anyone’s judgment or attempt to change that person. However, you have every right to make decisions around that person’s choices, up to and including distancing yourself or terminating the friendship because your principles are not compatible. But you can’t stay friends with that person AND hold a resentment. Accept them or don’t, but don’t play both sides.
You are clearly not very close if you can’t tell one of your “closest best friends” the truth.
I disagree. Perhaps she doesn’t want to tell her since she is a kind and mature person. Her reasons may be more complicated then expressed, but it certainly doesn’t imply that they are not “close best friends”.
For real… I don’t get why people have such an issue with being honest and conveying their feelings in a mature and non condescending, pretentious way (although some people just naturally speak that way, my mom being one of those people lol) All my life I’ve been labeled as an a**hole because I give an honest opinion and I’ve been called it by people who think exactly what I said which is the craziest part. Honesty goes a long way in my book. What kind of friendship is it if you can’t tell someone something honestly without it “causeing a fight”?
If we were that close, I would have told her about the societal and environmental harms that counterfeit products bring. It’s about more than just being a bag snob! Being an informed consumer is important.
ugh my friend bought a fake but didn’t tell me. I was excited to see that she got a new bag but once I got my hands on it, I immediately knew it was fake. She played it off like it wasn’t. But now I’m mad she thinks she fooled me (I was too polite from saying anything!!)
The fake will fall apart soon enough and she’ll move on. Don’t let your friendship fall apart too!
I feel more bad that she spent $40 on a fake when she could have bought a fabulous non-designer bag for the same price or less.
If I were in your shoes I’d probably just comment that it really looks like a fake LV so the $40 could have gone to another bag.
Well if they were really my friend, they wouldn’t do such a thing knowingly lol. If it was buy accident yes I would tell them and I would try to help them get their money back. If they knowingly did it, I would educate them on the horrible things that involve “just a bag” as people that try to dismiss it say. All my friends joke with me and say they would buy me a fake bag and hand it to me as a gift because they say I’d spontaneously combust if I come in contact with a bad fake lmao.
I have never given much thought to this topic, except to know that replicas are stealing from the Original Artists Creations. But, I have no idea what “horrible things involve just a bag” are!?? Enlighten me, please?
Ready for an essay? Lol. I’ll make it as brief as possible. For starters, to people that say “I love the look but don’t have the money so I’ll get a replica” 1) you aren’t getting an original so you can’t really say you like the look. 2) if you’re doing it to show status well, it’s fake so what are you proving? To people that “are worth showing status to” know it’s fake. The people that wouldn’t know it’s fake well, wouldn’t “be worth showing off to”.
Now as for the impact it has.
They’re made in sweatshops. Places that support child labor. Filthy environments. Unsafe environments. Low wage environments. Some of these people don’t get to see their families. They’re pretty much kept hostage. The owners of these places are usually in gangs/mafias. The money that’s made from these go towards the black market. Human trafficking. Drug trafficking. Weapon trafficking etcetera. A lot of people mindlessly reply “oh it’s JUST a bag” yeah, to you. But do you know what your money went to? And how that bag got to be in your hands? There’s a reason why it’s illegal in some countries. That’s just a summary. Hope I didn’t bore you. xxx
Nicely summed up!
Woa! I had no idea. So, these “replica’s” not just look like the real deal, but they also have all the trademarks (like the designer name in gold letters), too? Do they also have fake serial numbers? I’ve heard of these costing thousand’s in some cases, & even some authenticators have a hard time authenticating it (or maybe they weren’t very good at their job! lol). Who sells these fake bags, e-bay? Sounds like a black market racket, indeed! Sex & slave trafficking is the worst of the worst, & breaks my heart to know how prolific it is, today.
Thank you for educating those of us who weren’t quite sure how the whole counterfeit business works, Bryan. You have such a wealth of knowledge to bring to Purse Blog, I think they should ask you to write informative articles for the site. I’m getting tired of the “Dear diary, help me decide what to buy next” blogs every week, written in Millineal slang! I really don’t care about which bag you’re “crushing on” every month! I’d like to have more informative blogs, such as the kind you’d write. (Maybe the boss is reading our comments & considering our encouragements!) At any rate…thank you for being you! I always enjoy reading your comments! Puts a smile on my face. ?
There are bags that some call superfakes. They are tried to pass off as authentic. They come with serial number and cards and everything a real one would. That’s why in recent years, consignment shops are covering the serial numbers on bags because people will go on there and steal the number to put on a fake bag. There was an instance where a woman would go to department stores, but authentics and replace them with super fakes and return it. Keeping or selling the real ones and making a large profit along the way. She was eventually caught and put in prison. I know at one point, statistically speaking, about 85% of LV items out in the wild were fake. Which is insane. I don’t know if that number has increased or decreased throughout the years. Fakes cause more harm than meets the eye. It also drives houses to increase their prices in the same fashion that stores would increas prices due to shoplifting. Another reason they’re increasing the prices is because nowadays, it’s seen as cool to have luxury bags. Not even because you actually like them or admire them or love the heritage but simply because it’s soemthjng to show off on social media. Therefore they increase the prices because they want to keep people that are loyal around instead of 15 year olds with 3 million subscribers on YouTube making money from reviewing an eyeshadow pallet from Walgreens.
Hopefully I will be considered to join here as a writer. I’d love to bring a different perspective on here 🙂 thank you so much for your kind words.
Honestly, I don’t believe that you would be an asset as a writer on this blog. Many of your comments are brash and condescending. Also, I appreciate a woman’s perspective on bags, not a man’s.
There are plenty of women that do that already. A perspective has nothing to do with gender. No two people will have the same perspective on something. Hence why there is more than one writer for a blog about the same thing, bags. To each their own. If we all the same outlook on things, the world would be quite boring.
I agree that he is a jerk, but your statement is rather sexist.
It’s crazy that someone would think a perspective is gender based as if one is better than the other. I find it quite irconic that I’m being called condescending by someone making that kind of statement. Oh well.
Honestly, I don’t believe that you would be an asset as a writer on this blog. Many of your comments are brash and condescending. Also, I appreciate a woman’s perspective on bags, not a man’s.
It would be more compelling if journalists included sources for these statistics as well as some of the claims made, such as supporting terrorism and child labor. I mean, I’ve seen articles with headlines but they don’t provide anything to substantiate it. It just reads more like brand protection propaganda than anything.
I mean ultimately whether or not it’s substantiated by numbers, I don’t think it really would make people stop. I think most people stay away from fakes not because of the harm it supposedly causes but because it’s just… “eh” to do. I can’t remeber the last time I ever heard someone saying they stay away from fakes soley because of what it funds. I wouldn’t do it even if it caused zero repercussions. I do believe some claims though as I’ve seen them first hand in NYC. Chinatown being a big offender. Not so much the African men you see on the corner of broadway and canal but the shops that have backrooms with super fakes that have children and pregnant women in the back selling them for $600+. Regardless, I would also like to see people use actual proof. I haven’t seen human trafficking with my own eyes due to these bags but I have seen child labour and unhealthy working conditions. I do believe they are forced either physically (as the men that brought me to the back room were armed with knives) or forced financially.
Years ago, family member once bragged to me that I was not the only one who had a an Hermes Birkin. She then told me the story that she bought two Birkins for $2500 cash at a “secret” moving sale the previous week. The owner of the bags was getting divorced. She just happened to have a collection of new Birkins in the most coveted colors. She proudly sent pictures of her new bags. I didn’t have the heart to tell her both were really bad fakes.
If I told her the truth, there would have been a host of negative family implications. Since she paid cash and the con artists who ran the scam were long gone, the damage was done. Sometimes, it’s best to bite your tongue.
I’d tell them the truth but I wouldn’t push them. Friendships are more than just about the way one dresses.
Ignored it … she is a grown ass woman not ur kid. It’s none of ur business beyond what she offered up in info.
Sometimes honesty is NOT the best policy, even with a close friend. Who are we to judge the actions of others when it comes to how they spend their own money? There are many women out there who love the idea of owning a designer bag but can’t afford the real thing. My best friend can barely pay her mortgage because of a disabled husband that she supports. If she bought a knock off I would never put her down, even though I don’t support doing it. I would let her enjoy her bag and not be judgmental about it. To each his own, my mom used to day.
Great perspective! Context always matters, & it’s not worth ruining a friends joy, over. I agree here, just let your friend have her piece of happiness!
The battle cry of fakes looking obvious is really silly when we have thousands of authentication posts where people have to question whether or not something is fake or when so called experts or professionals are the only ones qualified to make a call. Sure, a $40 tote is not going to pass but let’s not kid ourselves. There are fakes that cost a few hundred or couple of thousand (in the case of Hermes) that aren’t obvious fakes whatsoever.
Sigh. My dad once gave me a fake as a surprise. I told him it was a fake. But in the end I still took it because it’s my dad and I love him. I still have it in my closet but I have never used it. I don’t know what to do with it.
I think you should said something. Always say what you think. True friends understand and won’t be hurt by your honesty. I’m totally against counterfeits, I can’t believe people buy them but the most shocking part is that an influencer recommended it. She must unfollow immediately.
She wrote you saying “looks just like a Louis Vuitton for $40”. If these were her exact words, she KNOWS it isn’t a genuine LV bag and I would just have said something bland like “well, kind of …” and then changed the subject to something else.
If she had pushed the conversation, then I would have said something like “hey, let’s get together, it’s been a while!” and then if the bag was brought along, talk to her about it then.
I agree with the others that said a friendship is worth more than this. And find out what that blog is and see what other crp*p this blogger is pushing.
Ehhhhh…..I’d let it go. It’s not like she killed a kitten or cheated on her husband. She’s a grown woman who made a (relatively uninformed) choice. There are a lot of global issues that I feel very strongly about, but someone else’s choice to buy a fake bag is not on that list. Arguably there are countless other clothing items/brands that manufacture their wares under conditions that are comparably deplorable to the counterfeit luxury item industry, and there are animal activists who would be sick to their stomachs if they thought about all the animals that have to die to make some of the bags we love on this forum. How would you feel if a “friend” jumped down your throat over the leather trim on one of your Louis Vuitton bags? Probably not great. I don’t think anyone in America in 2019 can walk around assuming that none of their day-to-day choices harm the environment, animals, other people, the list goes on. I’m not getting on a soapbox with one of my best friends over that.
I totally agree with this.
You have to look at the context. People today, seem to rush into a conclusion of confrontation way too easily! What you said is very wise advice!
Very well put!
I would and I have. Especially if someone spends a crapload of money on a fake they should know so that they can do what they can to get their money back.
If it were an amazing looking superfake, at least I would have empathy for my friend for wanting something beautiful at a fraction of the price. We TPFers are special species — not everyone is concerned with acquiring authentic items like us. It is not important to them, the joy of owning something authentic and luxurious, crafted by skilled artisans.
Yes counterfeiting is a form of theft, but I’m not sure if it is my place to lecture someone like that. I actually was appalled upon hearing that fake bag businesses fund terrorism, so I looked more into it. Everywhere i looked, all I found was a simple suspicion or allegation, not supported with actual proof. This made me wonder if the terrorism funding claims were grossly exaggerated by the luxury goods companies. That really turned me off, because it undermines their credibility. To me, that they infringed on the copyright is a good enough reason not to buy fakes.
Having said all that, here is what I really want to say to the question:
It is my very best friend, who just bought a $40 fake? I would immediately say “Bitch, dump that crap! I will never go ANYWHERE with you if you carry that not-even-trying-to-look-real garbage!”
I agree with this. There is such a spectrum of counterfeit bags that to say purchasing one funds terrorism as a blanket statement simply can’t be true. Ive also looked into the world of super fakes. I have not purchased, but it really helped me expand my knowledge on how to spot fakes. My favourite communities for this are on reddit such as r/repladies and r/designerreps. The members of these communities have direct communication with factories in china that produce fakes, and then they discuss which ones make the closest duplicates. I know for a fact these do not fund terrorism! I wouldn’t even consider these factories to be sweatshops, as the quality of these bags are actually really good and the producers put a lot of effort into their products. It seems to me even lower quality fakes were produced in the same factories as other generic cheap handbags to be sold at fast fashion stores. I think these claims were were exaggerated by the companies too. Now, would I call out my friend? If it looks like shit yeah probably. But I won’t judge someone for buying a good quality one. I have purchased authentic bags that have had problems and I don’t think they were worth the money. Im lucky I have the disposable income to do so, but if someone does not, I cannot judge them for purchasing a bag within their means.
You didn’t say “nothing” you just outed the situation on a blog read by a ton of people..which is way more potentially offensive than having a one to one with your friend!!
If you are truly interested in preventing the counterfeit trade and the child trafficking and other crimes associated with it, you would speak to your friend about it immediately and not wait for an “organic” moment ,simply to avoid conflict.
Let her be happy with her bag. Don’t be an asshole. Not everyone is fancy! 🙂 I say this all with love.
This discussion reminds me of this posting in June 2017. https://www.purseblog.com/celebrities/kendall-jenner-fake-louis-vuitton-fanny-pack/. I sense a double-standard here. Sure, Kendall Jenner can afford an authentic Louis Vuitton waist bag, but wearing a knock-off says hip, cool, and street. But a friend who had $40 to spend on a replica that makes her happy…tragic?
She knows she bought a knock off and she’s a grown-up woman. Let it go. You’re not in the position to tell her what to buy and what not to buy.
She clearly knows its fake and obviously she knows you’d be a good person to talk too if she wanted advice about a real designer purchase so I’d just let it go.
If you can’t be honest with a “friend” about something as simple as a purse, you’re in denial about the depth of your “friendship.” Part of being my friend is accepting that I am an honest person. I’m not hiding in a corner hoping to avoid truth. Plus, I and most of my friends are creatives, so we’re well aware that theft of Intellectual Property is a huge problem. Having your own ideas and works stolen sucks, so it’s not something we’d support in others. I’d rather have a few friends with integrity than a bunch that don’t give a crap about the rights of others.
I wouldn’t have said anything. She’s an adult and knows it’s fake. It’s no different then buying clothes from low end stores. Do ppl realize the low wages, horrific working conditions and long hours the workers in other Countries have to endure to make these clothes? I can bet that many ppl shop at these stores without giving it a thought and no one lectures them.
As long as she’s happy with her $40 bag, case its closed! A good friend is worth more than any bag.
AMEN! And can you say it a little louder for the people in the back?
Difficult for me to wrap my head around “ruining a friendship” by giving my honest opinion. I’d let her know it’s fake…and move on. No preaching. No “judgement”. Just information. IF we’re “that close”, she already knows what my response is going to be.
My motto is “if you like it, I love it.”
The likeittoknowit site on Instagram supports their bloggers by allowing direct links to too many fake items to count….all on Amazon. It’s disheartening, especially after many DM’s to them with no response (after an initial response that I was wrong!). Shame on them, shame on Amber Venz for allowing it. This has to stop.
I personally would not say anything because she already knows its a a fake I mean $40 to $1000 who wouldnt know its a fake?and i don’t need to confirm or deny it.My best friend is not into designer bags at all and cant tell a real from a fake but she loves quality leather goods. Which is fine.Our friendship is not based on those things. I would not stand on any moral high horse to talk to my friend about her purchase. It’s her money and her choice same for me too when i splurge on purses!
You’re clearly just a snob
you’re clearly a snob
i understand why you would be shocked over your friends decision to purchase a fake LV bag since it is your hobby to collect authentic bags. if i saw my friend putting a mercedes logo on his hyundai it would be shocking for me too lol.
but your friend probably doesnt put value into authentic bags as much. it was really mature for you not to react defensively to her decision.
If I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t be so vapid as to even consider the potential for conflict in a friendship over an object with no inherent value.
Get a grip.