Hi, my name is Clarissa and I’m addicted to handbags.
Ok, that might be a little extreme. But I have to say, my appreciation for handbags isn’t something I talk about often. If I’m being honest, sometimes I even get a little uncomfortable, depending on who I’m with.
It’s not that I’m embarrassed, per se. It’s just something I don’t voluntarily bring up, unless I’m in the company of close friends, family, or someone who wholeheartedly understands the excitement of saving and purchasing a brand-new bag. Ugh, it really is the best feeling… I digress.
I know I can’t be the only one who often finds themselves justifying purchases to those who don’t understand. You spent *what* on a piece leather? Um, yes I did. And I’m tired of explaining why. I’m also tired of proving to others that I am in fact financially responsible. Just because I choose to spend my “fun” money on a bag versus an expensive vacation or a fine wine does not make me any more or less reckless than the next person. I always pay my bills on time, I have a savings plan, and I even contribute to a retirement account. So the better question is, why can’t I splurge on a handbag here and there?
[sc_ic_ad1]I understand there’s an undeniable connotation attached to designer goods, especially handbags. Many people consider them flashy and in-your-face – and trust me, I get it. But in reality (or at least my reality), my love for bags has absolutely nothing to do with that.
I know most people might think I’m ridiculous for spending a substantial amount on them, but for me, similar to maybe how you feel, bags mean something more. They represent real accomplishments and provide a sense of comfort I can’t exactly explain. There is something unbelievably powerful about lusting over a bag, saving for it, and walking into a boutique ready to purchase it all on my own.
I guess I wonder why my love for bags is more heavily criticized than other hobbies, like golf or bar-hopping. (Listen, an afternoon of drinking can and probably will set you back a couple hundred dollars. Do that enough times and you’ll have enough for a Louis Vuitton.)
Seeing as we’re all on the same team here, do any of you feel as if you’re “judged” or “criticized” by friends and family for spending on designer goods? Do you ever hide or attempt to downplay your purchases from people? How do you deal with it?
At the end of the day, I’m completely confident with my love for bags. I truly embrace it. I guess I’m just tired of some of the “baggage” that comes along with every new bag purchase. All I can say is – lecture me all you want, it won’t stop me from saving for my next Fendi. #SorryNotSorry
I completely agree that this judgement is unfair, but then again, people will always judge each other when they have different priorities.
For example, my friends love going to music festivals but I don’t. In a year, the cost of that equals my LV purchase. Or using another comparison point, I spend a decent amount on spin/HIIT fitness classes each month but I don’t drink at all… And I get plenty of judgment on why I spend so much at a gym. I don’t need to counter with “but I don’t drink any alcohol” (which I don’t), but the cost of drinks and studio classes kind of equals out.
After a while, you shouldn’t need to explain yourself because if your friends are mature enough, they should know that everyone has different priorities and things they like to spend their money on.
I completely agree but there’s something about a luxury bag that brings out the rudest, nastiest behavior in people. Jerks.
It has nothing to do with the luxury bag. If you’re rude and nasty, you’re rude and nasty. They are using your purchase as their excuse to be who they already are.
Ooo! Excellent point!
Couldn’t agree more. Priorities are different for everyone.
I had a family member that would always ask “how much was this, how much was that?”. Instead of defending my purchases I simply said “I’m not discussing how much I spend”, smiled and changed the subject. It took awhile to make my point, but eventually it worked. However, most of my friends/family don’t follow high end designers and have no idea that I’m carrying a designer bag and I don’t bring it to their attention. I carry high end designer bags because I love them, period.
Preach.
This was an interesting discussion. I have to admit I’m very late to this ..only 2 months old and I’m almost 60. My daughters started collecting before me and I must admit I was quite scandalized at the amount of money they could spend on a handbag. But at the same time I was kind of amused. Different strokes for different folks..I was spending a lot of money on diamond jewellery for many years. Now when I think back I could have bought many handbags in that money. Anyway I’ve gotten hit by this bug lol..and have been on a shopping spree. I’m a bit hesitant to carry my bags to work in case people think I’m crazy. However I agree with most..your spending is your choice.
It’s easy – I don’t deal with it. I just don’t talk about bags with those who don’t understand or don’t talk about prices with those who wouldn’t spend as much on a handbag. I do wish I had more people I could talk to about bags. I have a couple and it’s enough, I guess.
I get an almost perverse satisfaction in playing with people’s expectations around this. It feels great to be maxing out my 401k and contributing significantly to my savings account every month while people give me a hard time for occasionally spending several hundred dollars on clothes or a few thousand dollars on a bag periodically.
Sure I’ll drop $300(0) on an investment item sometimes, but I hew strictly to the “I get paid first” approach to personal finance: before you pay Barney’s or Nordstrom, make sure you set aside funds for you and your future!
Exactly and IMO, most don’t!
I had a co-worker go “oh my god, I love that dinosaur thing, where did you get it?” She was asking about a little Coach bag charm I had on my bag, small, simple and cost $30. When I told her that, she hit the roof! “Are you serious?! Come on, $30!” And all I could think was, “Oh honey, you have no idea!”. So she is very clearly on the Do Not Discuss List!
I was traveling in Europe for work (from the US), and when I was paying for my lunch, I had taken out my passport and some random dude sitting near me goes “you shouldn’t bring your passport with you when you’re out”. I told him that I needed my passport for VAT refund purposes, and he goes “oh, I guess you just HAVE to go shopping, don’t you?” And then when I went to leave the restaurant, he goes “I bet your husband would tell you to only spend money on what you actually need”, which prompted me to respond “Actually, my husband would tell me to buy whatever makes me happy because it’s my own money.” (My husband used to think that my handbag habit was crazy, but over time, he’s gotten used to it and even encourages it, since he recognizes that it’s my own money I’m spending, and it truly does make me happy.)
I don’t mean to get into a rant about how shopping (for women) is often looked upon by society as frivolous (often by both men and women)). It really does frustrate me that it’s somehow totally acceptable for men to buy expensive golf trips, watches, or cars, but purchasing clothes, accessories, or handbags is silly and unnecessary. If my shopping for handbags is frivolous, then so is the shopping habit of the every other person who buys more than bare necessities. We all have things that we enjoy, and as long as it’s responsible spending that is not outside of our means, we gotta leave each other alone.
Shopping: doing our part for the economy, helping people stay employed.
Friend, relative, acquaintance…I don’t care who it is. It’s no one’s business what I spend on anything. I don’t justify how much I spend because, again, no one’s business. I don’t understand why people feel the need to justify what they spend their money on to anyone. I don’t get why anyone would tell anyone how much something costs. It’s a rude question.
Whenever someone asks me how much my handbag costs, I have one simple reply. “Enough.” They can read what they want into that answer.
I have been collecting bags for 20+ years and decided that I want the ultimate bag to complete my collection. I have decided it’s time to get a Birkin. As I write this I am waiting for my SA to call me that it has come in (B30, earth tones, don’t care about hardware color). It could be 2 days or 2 years…most likely somewhere in the middle. So worth it and so very exciting. I am very curious how my bag will be commented on once I have it and start carrying it around. I am older so most people don’t comment on what I carry but I haven’t carried a Birkin yet. My in-laws always have something to say about my bag habit though. If I told them how much my new Constance wallet was they would fall over dead…lol.
Aside from the financial cost of an afternoon of drinking, there’s also the cost to your liver!
In my work, not a lot of people know about designer bags so as long as I avoid using my LV Speedy, I’m good to go. Among my circle of friends, I only have 2 who are also into designer bags but I can only openly discuss bags with one of them while the other doesn’t talk about her bags at all.
I have been a handbag lover from the womb. My mother gave me a picture when I was just walking and I am pushing a baby doll carriage with a couple of purses in it and the doll is on the floor. I live in a small rural area, but love my luxury handbags. My husband and I lived in the city for a while and the moved back close to parents. My husband supported my handbag habit . No one around here really knows what my handbags are but ever once in a while I will get “Is that real”. I just say yes, it is real. My husband passed away this past January and we had talked about the purse I wanted for Valentines Day, even though he passed, I purchased it and I feel it was from him. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about something that brings you joy. I don’t poo poo on their enjoyment.
Thanks, from a handbag lover for life.
PS I teased my husband that if I went first I was to be cremated and he had to carry me around in my LV Speedy.
I am so pleased your hubby understood your feelings and I am sorry that you lost such a good man.? Many husbands don’t get it either. I’m happy for you that yours did. The bottom line is we spend on what we like, be it food, drink, trips, people, entertainment or handbags. As long as what we’re buying does not harm people or is used to harm them, why all the fuss? Although…if you touch my Louis, I might just have to…?
My comments to my two boys are always…..don’t just give away the handbags! They know they are my babies and the prices now and understand…they may want to make sure those are not tossed into the goodwill bag on my departure from this world! And can you bury me with one of my Chanel please?!
Damn. I read all the comments and am now in serious danger of caving in and buying a vintage Chanel I’ve been eying for 2 months on RealReal. Help me!
If you’re in a position to be able to afford it, go for it! As long as you know it’ll bring you lasting happiness!
Well. “afford it” calls for creative accounting, so there is guilt, but not enough guilt to prevent the purchase! My excuse is my upcoming scan to see if my cancer has spread..if it hasn’t..yay, new bag! If it has..well, I will die with a very nice handbag clutched in my cold dead hands!
I have two other vintage Chanels and I just LOVE them. I’m an older person and to me Chanel was always the height of chic.
100% agree. I get very little joy from eating out and food in general, I eat to fuel myself, and that’s it. So in that case, I get a bit more Fun money than your typical millennial, and I’d splurge on designer goods. Seriously, people just need to mind their own business. Not everyone has the same hobbies.
This. Exactly this.
People spend on different things and that should be okay – car vs. commuting, gym or exercise classes vs. jogging or yoga/dance/other exercise at home, eating out at trendy places all the time vs. seldomly eating out and choosing the untrendy place where you actually get food instead of samples of weird things, going out to lunch at work every day vs. taking your lunch with you from home, having kids vs. not having kids, traveling with no thought for cost vs. spending time finding the best deal, using the library vs. buying books, updating a phone or other equipment all the time vs. using the old one until you really need a new one, thinking about what you spend money on and how lasting is the investment vs. buying stuff just because with no interest on how your purchase will hold up, etc etc etc…
There are so many choices you can make that will have a huge impact on your financial life.
People need to understand that truly loving a handbags is not a shopping compulsion but an appreciation for wearable art. A handbag is a defining expression of ourselves, it’s a companion and a prized possession.
Cost isn’t always a factor in choosing what speaks to me at a particular moment.
I have been absolutely obsessed for years. I no longer feel guilty when I notice people give me grief about my bags. Sometimes I notice their looks of admiration, sometimes judgment.
I just don’t care anymore. Life is short. Buy the bag!
Wearable art. Love your reasoning. I’m going to use that line next time.
Since I was a teenager I love handbags. I just couldn’t afford it and after my graduation from collage I started a small collection. But took me nearly two years (!!!) before I was able to carry my Speedy around just because I imagined “what will the others think about me?!?”. I grown up in environment where you just don’t show off your money like that. Than I realised buying things which I don’t wear ist the silliest thing I can do at all. Since than wear all my nice handbags when ever I feel to wear them. And guess what? People are judging anyway, so why not doing something that makes you happy?
When people comment we should say with a seriously concerned and then happy face: “I’m super sorry you can’t afford it but I can so don’t worry about me. Then with a big smile: “Thanks!”
#handbagaddict
Ugh, tough topic here! I am a handbag lover AND a charity lover so forget about people judging me, I judge myself, haha (but I never judge other ladies)! It’s really bad when my handbags cost as much as my leather sofa! To counter this, I make it a point to donate EXACTLY the same amount I would spend on a bag. I know it sounds ridiculous, and it is, but both, handbags and charities make me happy! Doing this makes me spend less on handbags I don’t absolutely LOVE. It also means I probably won’t be owning a Birkin in this lifetime, but that’s okay!
As long as I’m the one who pays for my bags I don’t care what others think and I don’t want to hear about it. This includes my BF and he knows it. As long as I pull my weight when it comes to our household&family, what I do with my own money is my business. I try to make smart choices and also make some money when I buy&sell.
If someone asks me what I paid for a bag I will tell them. Because of this I’ve heard so many unpleasant and downright vicious comments about my bags that I’ve actually grown tired and if I see fit, will give a not-so-nice answer. At a party I actually got talked down by a nasty lady who told eeeeveryone around us that I was an idiot and stupid for paying the amount I paid for my bag that night. It wasn’t actually a very expensive bag I carried then either, just a RM Mini MAB Side Zip. Well, with me you get what you pay for – I made clear that her choice of husband wasn’t the best either but she didn’t hear me judging her choice. (Her man was being all sorts of drunk and stupid).
Simple. I don’t. Lol. Put that energy into something positive. Not trying to justify why you like something that has no harm or effect on those around you.
I’m not really a collector of designer bags. I have a few passed down to me from my mom since she doesn’t like them. I used to really feel confused about people purchasing such expensive things which can only be used to carry around stuff. I realized later that different people make different choices and everyone has their own hobby. I always thought I was just jealous because I can’t afford such bags and I always admire my colleagues’ expensive bags at work. It makes me feel so poor and unimportant. So, I developed a little bit of resentment towards this culture as a whole. Then, something amazing happened. I looked at my own expenses and the things I buy yearly to make myself happy. I bought several coffee machines, I bought several laptops, phones, watches, digital tablets, games, books, and so many other digital purchases, not to mention dinners at expensive restaurants and expensive gym clothes. The truth is I could probably afford to buy several luxury bags per year depending on the brand. I decided then that my thinking is very hypocritical and my feelings of insecurity are really silly. We all work hard for our money in the most part so we should all have the freedom to spend it however we want. I have been judged by colleagues who own a lot of luxury bands and called an irresponsible spender because the things I buy with my hard-earned money don’t make sense to them. Well, I’m done judging. I will do whatever I want and we all should do the same.
Different folks, different strokes:) I don’t care what people think every time they see me with a new handbag and don’t expect them to understand either, love bags, they make me happy…as trivial as it may be:) And hey, I don’t judge people saving like mad for when they hit retirement (living for 20 years down the road horrifies me), I’m a here and now girl, I’ll deal with retirement later:))
As far as I’m concerned, my finances are no one else’s business. They’re not handing me a paycheck or paying my bills. When someone asks the price of your bag (rude!), you can say “Why do u want to know? Would you like to contribute?”
Being 100% honest, I guilt myself enough. I love hangbags and slg’s but when I first buy them I generally feel a little sick to my stomach. It’s not regret so much as all that hard earned money gone in one chunk!
I work in an office where no one else has bags like mine (LV , Chanel and Fendi) and that actually works to my advantage. For the most part my coworkers have no idea what brand the bags are or how much they cost. I favor LV epi and empreinte over monogram for bags so they truly don’t know.
The few times I’ve been asked about my bags I tell the truth and if they make a sassy comment I point out that we all spend our money differently and we should respect each other. That usually stops the conversation immediately.
Everyone has something, clothes, shoes, jewelry, travel, house stuff, pets, hobbies, etc. and that if they add it up we are all in the same boat. For those who wont be honest about it I ask the really tough question, why do they feel comfortable judging the way I spend my money. If the first question didn’t stop the negative comments that one always does.
“How much was your bag?” “Why, are you buying it for me?” 🙂
The beauty of being old is, I don’t give a crap if people dare side-eye my bag habit. I have gotten those looks once in a while, but I just think to myself “nice, huh?” I haven’t really encountered anyone who vocally tried to judge me for the prices paid for my bags, but if it ever happens, I hope I will be brave enough to say “Oh it wasn’t much. I had to sell only a kidney this time.”
Feels like home in this comment section. I have 4 people in my life that understand my purse love. I don’t have to explain. Many people don’t know the names of the bags I carry. They feel my LV envelope purse is more expensive than my Chloe Marcie bag…they have never heard of Goyard. Think Gucci is ugly. These are my choices and I love each one of my babies.