One of my favorite parts of our Closet Confessionals series (aside from the voyeuristic thrill of finding out how people spend their money, of course—I think that’s what we’re all here for) is seeing just how many people, from all kinds of backgrounds and places and walks of life, read our site and share our love of bags and fashion. There is not a lot of fun on the internet lately, and at least to me, that’s fun.
So! With that in mind, we have this week’s edition of Closet Confessionals, which focuses on the bag-buying habits of a military lawyer who’s lived all around the world. It also tackles the very loaded topic of luxury “push presents,” which are gifts that husbands buy wives on the occasion of a new baby. We’re sure you’ll have plenty of feedback.
As always, we can’t continue this series without your (anonymous, we promise!) submissions, so if you’d like to be considered for your own Closet Confessional, all you have to do is click the link below and fill out our survey—the more detail you give us, the better!
[sc_cc_callout]The Basics
Age: 39
Gender Identity: Female
Location: South Korea
Occupation: Lawyer
Industry: Active Duty Military
Income: $275,000
The Bags
Are you a PurseForum member? Yes
How many bags do you own? 13
How much is your collection worth? Approximately $31,000
What is your most expensive bag? My Louis Vuitton City Steamer MM. I recently bought it for myself when we found out I was pregnant with our second child. It’s a beautiful neutral, and I love the lock feature.
What are the most important brands or pieces in your collection? The navy logo Gucci clutch from the late 70s I inherited from my mother. It’s the bag that started my obsession with designer handbags and still looks so current, even 40+ years later. Before she had me, my mother was a buyer of fine leather good for Bonwitt Teller, a now defunct luxury department store in New York City. When I was little, I would sit and stare at the Gucci and the two Judith Leiber originals she had in her closet.
What age did you get your first designer bag, and what was it? I am not sure that Kate Spade qualifies as a designer handbag line, but in the 90s I got a black nylon messenger bag from her line. Kate Spade is famous for that bag. I loved it so much and carried it everywhere—I had to buy a replacement after a few years. It was the first bag I paid for with my own money, which was very satisfying.
Any particular bag that holds a special sentimental value? When we were stationed in England, one of my absolute favorite places on Earth, I would shop the Harrod’s Boxing Day sale each year after Christmas. It was always a mad house! You would wait in line for hours keeping warm with coffee prior to opening. When they opened the doors, I would run to the designer handbag section. People are everywhere and it’s a very stressful, yet fun and frenzied experience. One year, I got an absolutely gorgeous and supple Valentino handbag with a bow on the front in a muted pink that I still love.
Do you feel like your bags change people’s perceptions of you or how you’re treated? I am not sure, but I think so for some people. In Korea there is a huge market for what can be described as “quality fakes.” Some of them are so good, it is hard to tell at a glance if they are real or not. Since I work in a male-dominated career field in a place know for fake handbags, I am always asked where in the local area can my co-workers find fake handbags for their spouses. I try to be nice about it, but I explain that I don’t know because I don’t carry fake. I get a lot of grief for it and little judgement, but I don’t mind.
The Shopping
How often do you buy new bags? 1-3 per year. I try to only buy bags I am very excited about.
Which stores do you frequent the most? I rarely buy handbags from the designers in stores. I find shopping in luxury stores very intimidating and instantly feel like I don’t belong. I usually buy my bags online or in major departments stores. Since we move so frequently, I am unable to build relationships with sales people over long periods of time. Since I wear a uniform to work, in my free time I dress pretty casually, and that may be a turn off to quality customer service.
Do you ever buy second-hand bags? Where do you buy used? Yes! Especially lately, to avoid paying VAT in the foreign countries we live in (but are not leaving soon enough to claim VAT refunds at the airport). I buy new or like-new bags from Yoogi’s Closet and Fashionphile. But I am sure to do some research about the reseller prior to purchasing, which is part of the reason I love TPB and TPF. We recently took a trip to Osaka, Japan, where I was able to acquire a vintage late-2000s black Chanel Classic Flap in quilted caviar leather from Komehyo, a store that resells designer handbags, jewelry, and accessories.
Do you sell old bags to pay for new purchases? Occasionally, yes. If I buy a bag and don’t use it, I will sell it to a friend or sell it to a reputable consignment shop to fund the next purchase.
Do you ever feel societal pressure to purchase more bags? Occasionally, yes. If I buy a bag and don’t use it, I will sell it to a friend or sell it to a reputable consignment shop to fund the next purchase.
Do you consider your bag purchases investments? YES, absolutely! My daughter is 4, but the bags will be passed down to her. I cherish the bags my mom passed to me. I can only hope she gets as much joy out of carrying the ones I give her as I did, and that whenever she looks at them, she thinks of me.
Who influences your buying decisions? Mostly marking a milestone or celebrating something momentous. Or a REALLY good deal. I can never pass them up! In 2017, Balenciaga’s stud-free Blackout AJ City Bag in turquoise was more than 50% off. I am sure it was on sale because it wasn’t a hit with most people and its a bright color, but I don’t care. It matches so much in my closet and was the perfect bag for our recent beach vacation.
Are sales associate relationships instrumental to your shopping? Not really.
Why do you enjoy shopping, beyond just acquiring something new? I enjoy shopping alone. I wouldn’t say I am shopaholic, but I do appreciate a good deal and enjoy spending some time trying to find one by myself. I like going out on my own to shop at my own pace. It’s hard to shop much in Asia (since I am not shaped like a typical Asian woman) because the sizing is crazy small.
Have you ever felt like you received inferior service at a store or boutique due to your appearance, ethnicity or gender? I can’t be sure, but my perception is that I get inferior service at designers stores because of my appearance. I am not rail thin, I don’t wear designer clothes for the most part, and am not a regular at any store. Because I prefer to shop alone, and don’t really like to make small talk with sales people, that also may contribute to the perception that I receive inferior service.
The Money
Who pays for your bags? I do, expect for gifts. I appreciate that I am able to afford designer handbags.
Do you set aside a budget for your bag purchases? No, but I probably should!
The Taboo Topics
Have you ever purchased a counterfeit because you couldn’t afford a designer item? Never.
Do you ever hide purchases from your significant other? My significant other has no idea how much any of the handbags cost, but also he doesn’t really care. I handle our finances and he is happy to delegate that responsibility to me. He takes on other responsibilities in our lives. He doesn’t ask, I also don’t offer. If he asked me directly, I would tell him. He is aware of the cost of a Birkin, because he promised me one when I agreed to have a second child. After he promised, I asked him if he kneww just how much that would cost him. He knows it’s an approximately $15-$20K offer. We will see if I can actually pull the trigger and buy one though. Even I am not sure I can spend that much on a handbag, although I desperately want one.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to afford a bag? I think the Harrod’s sale is a bit crazy (described above), but if I could, I would go back every year. I also randomly bought an MCM bag in the Doha airport in 2012 during an exceptionally long layover while I was deployed that will always remind me of my time in the Middle East.
Do you think your shopping is ever a problem? I don’t think so, but an addict rarely does, right? (JK!)
The Rest Of It
Any other expensive hobbies or passions? We love to travel and do so frequently for work or vacation. For major life milestones we try to book a table at a Michelin star restaurant. So far we have dined in three restaurants on three different continents.
Has living around the world affected your taste in bags or shopping preferences? Certainly, I am influenced by different types of fashion I see in different regions around the world. That is one of the best parts about moving so frequently. For example, my work bag (which has to be very plain and black because of the rules in the military regarding what we can wear in uniform) comes from Smythson, a brand I discovered in London and still love for their small leather accessories and quality workmanship. I have purchased a couple of MCM bags while in Korea, since the formerly German brand in now owned by a Korean company and is very trendy locally. I like for most of my major purchases to be related to a trip, a place we lived, or a moment in life that I can cherish in the future, and we are lucky to get to do so in so many different locations. This also probably makes my style less consistent and not well-defined, but I am OK with that!
Another interesting perspective! Love this series and the variety!
So real and relatable. I really liked how the handbags bought are related to times and places of their life. Much better souvenir than a fridge magnet or keyring 🙂
I don’t know if it’s some lawyer bonding but this is my fave post of the series!!!
What a lovely read! She sounds like a really fascinating intelligent woman!! 🙂
Very interesting and fascinating article. Is her income of 275k combined with her husband’s? I used to work in the government as a lawyer and I’ve never heard of a military lawyer making this much. Perhaps this is including housing and all perks?
We ask for household income, so it could be her and her husband combined!
It would be nice, for consistency, to label the income question as “household” when you post the anonymous responses. In some previous posts, it’s been clear; this one, not so much.
Ok will do!
Agree
Exactly. the Attorney General doesn’t have this salary. I think most of the stories here are works of fiction.
This obviously is household income.
Even attorneys at the fed don’t make this much. I thinks salaries top around 240 for financial reg agencies. And that’s for top officials. Military lawyers don’t make nearly as much. It has to be combined. Given her age I’m guessing it’s around 130k. The articles need to be clearer about income. It’s not accurate to post someone’s salary without mentioning that it’s combined.
After doing a little research, it turns out that a JAG attorney salary tops out at $72k I think the poster may be adding her housing allowance into the mix, but even that only adds another $20k a year. So perhaps her husband’s salary is being combined to raise the total. People don’t join the military to get rich on high salaries. Some officers who have special abilities can make quite a bit in the private sector when they retire. I am still taking this poster’s story with a grain of salt. ttps://careertrend.com/salary-military-lawyer-28585.html
Likewise. I’d like to see more stories here of women who are buying bags on their income alone and only mentioning their income.
I don’t think so. There are many, many very high salaries in the world. Plus it’s anonymous, what’s the incentive to lie?
We’re talking about military attorney salaries – not lawyer salaries generally. Yeah equity partners at top law firms are making millions. This isn’t about lying but there is a misrepresentation in how this article has been presented.
While Megs has stated that the $275k is a household income (and thus we’re probably looking at half for this particular lady’s salary), there are salaries that high in the military.
The Canadian Judge Advocate General (who’s actually not a judge) is paid $314k. A brigadier-general (the lowest rank of senior generals) legal officer is $215k. These are Canadian figures as well, I don’t know where she’s being paid from since she’s based in South Korea right now and travels a lot (is she American? South Korean?), but many countries spend much more than Canada does on military budgets.
Hmm perhaps I should have been clearer. I’m talking us government salaries. Also when you say 314K are you talking Canadian dollars or US dollars. Those are great salaries. In the US, government employees are paid no where near as much.
Hmm, I was expecting tons of negative comments maybe I am too early :)). I liked the questions you asked this time – gives me the idea how is it being intimidated which I can totally relate being a small talker myself and working too close to the mall hence almost never dressed up. Enjoyed reading
I find it extremely stomach turning, sad, and distasteful when people make decisions about having a child to “get” a matierial thing (car, handbag, jewelry etc). If one requires a bribe to add to their family perhaps one really should not have a child. Children are not “things” to be bargained with. Just awful was my only take from this.
People have kids every day without thinking about it, negotiating and really balancing if its the right decision and they turn out to be terrible parents too. I hope you judge them too.. Her story made me think that she and her husband considered the impact of a second child carefully.
I think I am too old. “Push presents” or “gender reveal parties” were never heard of in my days. Sound like occasions someone invented for an excuse to spend. When I was giving birth, my husband was in the delivery room next to me, softly singing to soothe me, occasionally looking in my eyes with so much affection that it melted my heart. That was my push present. I cherish it to this day.
I’m pretty sure she didn’t have a child to get an Hermès bag. She said herself she didn’t even buy it yet and is still debating whether to get it. It sounded like a cute tongue in cheek agreement between the couple.
I also do think it might be slightly tongue-in-cheek and not to be taken very seriously.
agree. I am all for using the birth as an excuse to treat yourself after, but not as the incentive to give birth. I hope we are misunderstanding something here. but sitting here thinking about it, I’d agree to a $20k watch (for my husband) if he would green light a 3rd baby 🙂 So maybe I’m just as bad.
Ya, it could be how it came across via text versus a conversation. Vlad is incredibly anti the idea of a “push present” that is called a push present, but he also agreed it would be nice to get me something that celebrated our baby and her birth. He had a custom charm necklace made that we can add to. It’s semantics and there is so much more to it – because let’s be honest what he got me could easily be called a push present. Ha
I like this lady. I feel like she’d be fun to grab drinks with. Although I’m a liiiiitle concerned about the language around “agreeing” to have a second child. That’s rough lol.
If I were married and my husband wanted a child, those would be my terms as well. A Birkin for every contraction!
And every bout of morning sickness 🙂
agreed!
I see the income….straight to the comments. Can’t relate.
loved reading this “confession”
This series adds to my Thursday evenings. It is better than anything on television. Please keep the submissions coming.
Every Thursday!
Buying fakes for spouse…interestingg. that is why i’d rather ask for monetary gift than real items
You caught that too, huh? 😉
great piece