I think I just passed out.
Or my head exploded.
Because, on saks.com under ‘New Arrivals,’ there is a piece of metallic python so resplendent that it makes me wish I hadn’t written about the Zagiani python clutch so recently. Because this? THIS IS WAY BETTER.
It’s still Zagliani silver python. BUT IT’S A HOBO. That means the Zagliani Python Z Bag contains about a thousand times more beautiful pewter snakeskin surface area, plus I could buy it and wear it every day for the rest of my life, and that? That would make Amanda die happy. I would sit this bag next to me on the couch and have conversations with it. It would watch Project Runway with me (and agree that Blue Cup Dress was easily the best last night and Michael Kors can STFU about coffee filter bodices). I’d hang it on the control board of the elliptical machine at the gym, and it would cheer me on. I’d take it everywhere, and people would ask me what it was and where I got it, and I’d just stick my tongue out and say “I’m not telling! You’re not cool enough to have one! Isn’t that right, beautiful python hobo?” And it would nod solemnly and turn up it’s little metallic nose at all those that THINK THEY COULD HANDLE IT. Because they can’t.
I think I need to go lie down.
Buy through Saks for $4,290.