It’s been two weeks since we last saw the ladies of Real Housewives of DC and what has changed? Well, not much, since the group is still at that party. You know the one – they had the lame grape stomp that produced no grape juice and then Cat yelled “bollocks!” repeatedly and to no one in particular as she escaped. That party.

Cat may be annoying and rude, but she redeemed herself to some of us later in this episode. Before we get there, though, we have to discuss why Tareq Salahi redefines the term “wretched” and visit Lynda’s new house in McLean. It was a slightly boring, oddly paced episode on the whole, but the DC ladies did have their moments this week.

With nary a moment of time passed, we went straight back to the Salahi’s dinner party at their “winery,” and Tareq was enjoying his moment with the cameras while taking as long as possible to explain that he thinks Mary’s daughter stole his car with some friends and took it for a joy ride. Tareq seemed to relish letting that story out as slowly as possible, including the fact that the FBI was investigating. When asked why the FBI was investigating a car theft, he simply said that it was an expensive car. Well. I guess that explains it. I misplaced my Blackberry earlier today, I wonder if I could get the FBI to help me look for it. I mean, Blackberries are expensive phones.

Tareq seemed a little drunk and Michaele, as always, seemed a little coked out, but thankfully Stacie and Jason didn’t suffer any BS (not that it stopped the Awful Twins for dishing it out, of course). Tareq yelled about his polo players, he cussed at Stacie and her husband, he told Michaele not to push him any more. Rarely have I seen such a loathsome display, even on a Real Housewives franchise, and I’ll remind you that I’ve watched two seasons of Real Housewives of New Jersey. The Salahis have truly earned their Awful Twins moniker, and they shall henceforth be referred to as that on this blog, at least until Michaele divorces Tareq.

Luckily for Mary and her daughter, the best way for someone to assume that something is a lie is for Tareq Salahi to say it. His whole existence is like an eternal, nasty Opposite Day, and watching his puffy, watery-eyed face while he was so thoroughly enjoying making Mary cry made me physically angry. My hands get cold when I’m angry, and I had to stick them under my laptop to thaw out during the commercial break so that I could keep typing.

After the commercials, things got back to reality while Cat and Stacie had a pedicure with Lynda to explain exactly how worthless and grating the Awful Twins are. Cat said perhaps the only reasonable thing she’s ever said, in wishing that she would have stayed in order to protect Mary a bit. I would have loved to see the Cat-Drunk Tareq showdown/cage match, but unfortunately we didn’t get to see it.

Mary and her husband later spoke with Lolly about the alleged incident and subsequent Facebook post, and Lolly didn’t seem at all concerned with what Tareq was saying and whether or not anyone would believe him. Mary’s husband offered to get drunk and punch Tareq in the face, and we can go ahead and add that to a list of things spoken about in this episode that I’d really love to see happen. Sadly, it didn’t. And also, clearly, Lolly was never arrested – the Salahis completely made up the whole thing and the police had never heard of any of it.

Since Michaele has no actual friends (either because she’s as wretched as her husband or because Tareq won’t let her have any, your guess is as good as mine), we next saw her going out to dinner with her personal assistant and saying that the other ladies made her feel like Cinderella (in a bad way). She may have been correct that they pick at her a lot, but she makes herself such an easy target that I’m not sure how anyone could blame them. Plus, she’s married to Mr. Awful, which makes her loathsome by association even if she wouldn’t be quite so bad on her own.

Speaking of awful, do you remember that lobbyist woman with the silly makeup from the polo match? Edwina? Well, Cat had lunch with her and totally read her the riot act over healthcare. Edwina looked totally uncomfortable during the entire conversation and she eventually tried to change the subject to cucumber sandwiches. This woman wants to be on TV so badly that she’ll sit there and let a relative stranger make fun of her beliefs and life’s work to her face, and she’ll take it with a smile. And Cat gave it to her.

Luckily for us liberals out there (yep, gotta get a little political here, there was too much of it in the episode to completely avoid it), Cat changed the subject from cucumber sandwiches straight back to Sarah Palin, and then she said that the GOP was dying and that she’d sooner be dead than be a Republican. Lobbyists of both parties are worthy of our scorn, so watching Edwina squirm was kind of magnificent. And if you’re still not convinced, read here about how she buys sheets of money straight from the government in order to wrap gifts, and see how you feel afterward.

At a slightly (but only slightly) less uncomfortable meal, Lynda and Ebong sat down with Stacie and Jason to discuss the fact that Lynda had bought a house in McLean, VA and was leaving the district. Stacie also asked Ebong about Nigeria and got some background information on her father’s origins. Lynda had a bit of a different take on Stacie’s adoption story and then explained how she was at one time refused service in South Georgia because she was white, and you know, I’m just not sure I like Lynda.

I’m from Georgia (albeit Atlanta), and the southern part of the state is not what I would call…progressive. It’s also run almost completely by white people, despite the fact that some parts have large African American populations. White people easily have the upper hand in the rural South, and I’m not sure that anyone who was being honest would disagree. So I’m not saying Lynda was lying, but…she was probably fibbing a little bit, at the least. Like Cat, she seems like she could do with a few lessons on when to keep her thoughts to herself.

One likable thing about Lynda, however, is her real estate. We got to see her give her kids a tour of the new house in McLean, and it seemed pretty great. It even had one of those fun library ladders in the kitchen, although I’m not sure what it was for. Books? Wine? Either would be great. The place seemed pretty enormous and it had its own pool, and the family’s pug peed all over everything and it was THEIRS! I mean, if the dog’s happy, you have to move in.

We couldn’t end the episode without a party, though, so to a party we went. A republican party! About healthcare! Except it only appeared to be a “party” in the loosest definition of the term – if Edwina can afford to wrap gifts in sheets of money, I don’t know why she couldn’t have sprung for more than a third-tier hotel mini ballroom with no decorations and only a few bottles of wine and a veggie plate. Edwina invited Stacie and Jason, the Awful Twins and Cat, although I’m not sure why she thought Cat would be the ideal person to invite. It’s clear that the key to liking Cat is to agree with her, and in this episode, thankfully, I did. If you’re a republican, you probably hated her for the entire show, but I guess them’s the breaks.

The party was mainly a bunch of stuffy white people in blue suits, as Stacie had predicted it would be…and then, mercifully, Cat got there and, well, she went rogue, so to speak. Dressed in full costume, wig and all, as Sarah Freakin’ Palin. The Mama Grizzly herself. Michaele didn’t seem like she got the joke, but apparently someone explained it to her and she managed to make a few cracks about it. Not to worry, though, because Cat made some jokes about Michaele’s bright pink dress too. It all evens out.

Edwina never showed up because she had vertigo and had to go to the hospital, so she didn’t even get to see Cat’s costume and be shocked (although probably not offended, since Edwina’s face didn’t exactly light up when Cat asked for her opinion on Palin). Since starting trouble with the costume wasn’t working, Cat confronted Michaele’s assistant about calling her a bitch at the grape-stomp, which provided a few moments of tension but mostly nothing. And that was how the show ended – not with a bang but with a whimper, as T.S. Eliot would have said. Except T.S. Eliot wouldn’t have watched Real Housewives of DC.

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Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • PhotoGirl

    T.S. Eliot, indeed. Oh, I do love you, Amanda. My shriveled little comp lit major’s heart actually felt warm for a moment! :)

    I enjoyed Cat’s little maverick turn, too. (But I still dislike her.)

    Lynda: no words. Bless her heart. (That is Southern for “#%*&! her”, right? ;) )

    • I was a comp lit minor!! Journalism major. I wrote a *lot* of papers in college…

      And you’re exactly right, “bless her heart” is probably the best and most polite “eff her” in the world. My mom says it all the time.

  • suz

    Oh darn…..I had really promised mysef I would not watch this show…but, now that I’ve read your very, very amusing recap, I’m going to have to find a DVR moment and go back and watch…..

  • S

    I loved the recap! And I am really disliking Lynda (she seems so phony worse than the Countess ) her comment about never telling people how you feel about them – and then attributing that to DC etiquette. Please. I’m liking Stacy. I excuse her for playing the race card when Cat was rude at her aunt’s house. Also I like that Cat was bold enough to dress like Palin, but I thought the way she made fun of Michaela for wearing a pink dress was silly. Cat was obviously offended that “the help” called her out for being kind of a you -know -what. But I don’t totally dislike Michaele yet – she pulls off that bubbly charm pretty well and I get the feeling that those ladies wouldn’t like her even if she weren’t married to Tareq. I think there is a bit of envy there. Tareq is horrible – you were right Amanda he was so happy to have Mary in tears!

  • S

    Also I wish Mary asked her daughter what she posted on Facebook or chastised her for doing anything supporting theft. Mary seems a bit like Jacqueline – kind of a pushover mom. How old is her daughter?

  • JenG

    Mary was treated badly and I would have cried too. I like Stacie, Michaela and Mary. At first glance, I thought Cat was Sarah Palin until after reading your recap.

  • 2manybags

    I can’t stand Cat! I might have to stop watching because I find her so incredibly annoying.

    • Matthew

      So far I don’t find her half as annoying as Kelly Bensimmon or Danielle Staub, but that’s just me. She’s obnoxious alright, but in a slightly amusing way.

      I definitely thought about yelling “bollocks!” everywhere I went this week…

  • rfisher


    Love your recaps but hope you keep the political comments to yourself. Makes us conservatives kinda want to look away. I think you are great and LOVE LOVE LOVE the recaps but religion and politics are better left unsaid at times. Don’t mean to offend you cause your great!

    • I absolutely try to, but there was just too much in this episode. It would have been unwieldy to write around it, considering that it took up at least half the show this week. If you’d rather not hear any mention of politics (which is totally up to you, of course), it would probably just be best to skip the weeks that deal with it heavily. It would have kind of killed the recap to not be able to comment positively or negatively on any of the politically tangential subject matter when it was so prominent. The recap would have been rather short.

      I tried to weigh out the pros and cons of mentioning it while I was writing, so that was my rationale. I intend to avoid it when possible.

      • rfisher

        You are right this episode was FULL of it! I will read no matter what….you are terrific and I look forward to every recap you write…..I’m a Amanda fan. :)

      • Aww thanks :-) I appreciate it!

    • Jo Marie

      I think you’ve defined the differences between the major political parties beautifully. Intelligent, discerning, witty,compassionate ( our beloved Amanda), vs. Inclined to “look away”.

      • rfisher

        Sorry you feel I’m not intelligent, discerning, commpassionate or witty. I think I’m all of these. I’m now offended buy your remark….I did tell Amanda that I love her and wasn’t trying to start a debate. I guess it came across to some that I was being one of those STUPID conservatives. Guess, if I don’t agree with you then I’m all of the above, gee… what would that make you?

      • Erica

        No, I think you proved the point of the differences between people like YOU in your party and people like Rfisher in her party. Her comment was respectful and yours was not.

    • Jo Marie

      Bless your hearts.

      • rfisher


      • jamiez


    • Jo Marie

      I’ve been suffering over this conflict and realize that I do owe an amends to rfisher. My comment was rude. I am thoroughly contrite. Please accept my apology. I also need to address the Southern use of the phrase “Bless her heart”. It isn’t synonymous with F*** You. It’s more of “I see it differently, perhaps we disagree, but I don’t wish any ill will.”

      • rfisher

        Apology accepted. I too learned from this, and don’t like conflict. Isn’t it strange how certain things get under our skin and we let them take over. Like I said, I’m really a nice person….most of the time (wink, wink). :)

  • Karen

    love that T.S. Eliot poem!

  • Matthew

    Lynda and Cat really do need to learn when to keep their mouths shut, but if they did, the show would be so much less entertaining.

    So don’t buy a filter, ladies, and keep the entertainment coming!

  • D

    Love the recaps – but I agree, please try to keep your personal politics out of the recap.

    • I avoid it as much as possible, and I assure you that it doesn’t make me any happier to write about it than it makes anyone to read about it – I’d rather not. Hopefully they’ll stop pushing the political angle in such huge portions of the episodes, because it would certainly make it easier to write around it. For this particular episode, it was impossible. I tried.

      • Matthew

        It’s the Real Housewives of WASHINGTON DC, people. The city is centered around politics. I know you may hope that politics aren’t going to be part of it, but they are. That’s what the city is all about. If you can’t stand it, you probably shouldn’t watch the show.

        And furthermore, Amanda’s writing a blog about the show. She’s not a journalist. She doesn’t have to remain objective. This blog is about her opinions of the show. That’s what makes it entertaining. If her political leanings happen to impact the blog, so be it. It’s no different from her opinions about dresses, food, or stupid people.

        Sorry, but I just don’t think you can complain about her giving her opinions about politics when it’s a -blog- about -DC-.

        One thing we can all probably agree on: you don’t have to be a Democrat or Republican to be dumb. You just have to be on Real Housewives! :-)

      • bisbee

        Amanda – if you had stepped around the political issues, your recap would have fallen short. The only people who are going to criticize you for it are those who are on the other side of the aisle. I understand that you normally try to stay away from it, but it’s going to be pretty hard when recapping this particular RH franchise!

        Your recap was wonderful, as always. Of course…I’m one of those who welcomes your comments – political or not!

  • NCGal

    Seriously? “Keep the politics out of it?” As long as this takes place in DC and as long as BRAVO trots out characters from the Republican party like Eyeliner Edwina, as long as the Republican party continues to produce the likes of Sarah-Freakin’-Palin, and as long as YOU are the boss of your blog, Amanda, I say Let ‘er rip, sister! Loves you, your writing, and your politics!

  • Thanks for the support, you guys. I do appreciate it, but there’s really no reason to argue on either side – all the way from Michaele’s marriage to Cat’s Palin getup, it’s all just personal opinion meant to entertain and create discussion. I know that people (of either party) generally prefer to keep this kind of stuff light and fluffy, and I try to stick to that as much as possible. This week, the Housewives refused to cooperate. People are certainly free to disagree with me on anything that I write about, and they always will be.

    But either way, I appreciate EVERYONE who reads my recaps, and particularly those who take the time to comment – I’m lucky to have such great feedback, whether it’s positive or negative. Not all web writers have such an articulate, thoughtful group. In fact, hardly any of us do.

    • PhotoGirl

      I can’t imagine how you could write about DC and “leave the politics out of it.”
      Your recaps are fab. Stay true to your own style and your own voice; you cannot be all things to all people.

  • Suzanne

    You can let your politics fly all you want but i will no longer read your blog or be on you facebook.

    • Megs Mahoney Dusil

      I think it would be near impossible to leave politics out of a show based out of DC and having the entire episode focused on politics. I don’t think you will find political mentions anywhere else on our site, our facebook page, or our forum. As Amanda said, we always try to keep it out, but in this case that was probably near impossible to do and keep a recap live.

    • bisbee

      And isn’t that open-minded of you!

  • Bagolicious

    Leave the politics out? Huh? It’s the Real Housewives of D.C., so it’s political. I mean, REALLY!

  • rfisher

    Sorry Amanda….my bad. Guess both sides are sensitive. I brought this up so feel free to delete my comment. Sorry I started a CAT fight! *note the play on words

    Guess I should have taken my own advise and KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT. :(

    • It’s really ok – I’ll never delete a comment just because someone disagrees. Your comment wasn’t disrespectful or inappropriate. In fact, I think it was totally reasonable. Politics isn’t fun for anyone, and I try to keep it out of my writing as much as I can.

  • Jo Marie

    Wow. I’m quite vocal about my politics. When I find myself at odds with people politically I just ask them to look at the larger picture. Most will answer “I don’t think I can.” I’ll just leave it there to reverberate.

  • Adrienne zedella

    It’s nice to know that other peoples’ kids fall asleep on Ho-Ho’s. I thought mine were the only ones. . .

  • Jo Marie

    Edwina’s botox has obviously infiltrated her meninges and compromised her pons.

  • JenG

    Keep up the good work Amanda! If you didn’t write this blog I would not know what happened on any of the RHO?! So thank you for taking the time to write about them whether politics or religion is involved. You are appreciated!

  • Mishie

    Good work as usual Amanda! Oh, I love the little political reference since I’m a raging liberal and from DC! But sadly this iteration of the show bores me to tears! Wasn’t Edwina scheduled to be on the show? The Wash Post’s gossip column does a weekly fact check.

  • Jo Marie

    Do look at Washington Post’s story on the Salahi’s myriad lawsuits

  • Amy

    lol that picture of Mary’s Face-palm is hilarious! its missing a LOLCAT caption seriously! lol

  • arlene

    I can’t stand CAT and disappointed by todays recap.

  • carla

    I was so confused. Wasn’t Cat the one a few weeks ago saying she loved Bush, wasn’t a fan of Obama? I really didn’t expect her to take either a Rep. or Dem. stance, but was quite surprised she was so anti-Republican. Perhaps her past behavior was a clue to why Edwina thought she had met a sister in arms? It kinda made sense when E tried to explain a split ticket, cuz taking everything she’s ever said, I don’t think Cat understands American politics.

    • I agree that perhaps she doesn’t entirely understand it. People in European nations often have very strong opinions about healthcare (at least in my experience), so I think that may have been why she was so riled up about that particular topic, and she mentioned accruing some medical bills while she was here. I guess her opinions about Bush and Obama were specifically about them in a social sense and not a political sense. I honestly don’t know – I didn’t really expect her to come out so vociferously liberal either. Perhaps she just has whatever political inclinations will create drama at the particular moment.

      • carla

        I see what you’re saying about liking them in a social vs. political sense. It’s just so very rare you see that in the US. We tend to like or dislike our politicians across the board. Not sure that’s always a good thing. We wouldn’t be so polarized if we could say I like your guy, just didn’t like x,y or z he proposed. It’s like here you pick a team and whether they soar or go down in flames, you stick with ’em til the bitter end. Bless her heart, Edwina gets that!! lol

        And man I could understand the shock of coming from somewhere where healthcare is provided and getting your first American medical bill. That would make me wanna punch a lobbyist in the throat, too.

  • Handbag Lover

    Great Recap! This show is getting a little boring to me, but not as bad as NJ. I am ready for Atlanta and Beverly Hills.

  • Bagolicious

    As for Cat and her anti-Republican statement, I don’t think she even understands herself, not less American politics. She’s not the brightest bulb in the group. One episode she’s praising George W and the next she’s saying that she’d be 6-feet under before she’d become a Republican….or something to that tune. I’ve erased the DVR recording.

    And from some of her statements, I took it as being more than only about health care although I know Europeans feel strongly that it’s a “human right” for everyone to be covered. I’ve lived between here and Europe for many decades and although not a permanent resident in the European country that I spent many months out of the year in and for more than 2 decades, I was covered, under that countries laws, and never had a medical bill, even the one time I had to go to the emergency room and the other time to the lung clinic due to a major asthma attack. So, I understand where she’s coming from there.

  • Lee

    It’s not that difficult to write about a political show without inserting one’s own ideology into the discussion.

    • NCGal

      So write your own blog, already!

  • mbtmvp

    I like their house