When trying to describe last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the only term I can think of that accurately conveys my feelings about the whole debacle is “hot mess.” Kim and Ken finally deigned to show up in Hawaii for their free vacation, and when they did, they made everyone wish that they hadn’t ever been invited in the first place.

In and of itself, that probably wasn’t a surprise, and neither was the fact that Ken acted like a total creeper the entire time. The extent to which he was actually scary, though, surprised even me, as did the extent to which neither of them seemed to think that their chronic lateness and disregard for the rest of the group would be an issue for anyone. Surprise! It totally was.

We started back in Hawaii, where Adrienne and Paul were going on a romantic hike, except WAIT, SNAKES! Snakes everywhere. We didn’t actually see any, but Adrienne was sure that they would be there. So there were snakes, but still no Kim. Except, wait, there she was too! She and Ken had finally arrived, a full day late, and the hotel had been nice enough to put them in a room that shared a wall with Kyle and Mauricio (WHO WAS SHIRTLESS). Because that’s exactly what you want to hear through the wall at night – your sister’s desperate junkie humping.

After a little bit of complaining, the show thankfully moved on to a beautiful outdoor dinner for Mauricio’s birthday. Everyone actually managed to show up on time for the meal, but things didn’t stay pleasant for long. When asked why they were a full day late for the vacation, Kim suddenly abandoned the line about her driver’s license – Ken had to work! Ken is retired, but he works one day a week, and the day that he had to work was the day that they all flew to Hawaii. So they came the next day! Except she had already told Kyle that it was because of driver’s license and passport issues, and Kyle had already told everyone else the original reason, so everyone knew that she was a big fat liar. Personally, I think they were probably both too wasted to make it to the airport in time and it was all bullshit, but that’s just a guess. An educated guess.

The conversation then turned to another couple – Taylor and Russell. Apparently there was some conflicting information going on about whether or not Russell was leaving or she was leaving or what was going on, and Adrienne and Paul were lodging their official bets on how long the breakup would last. He was charitable with an estimate of two weeks; Adrienne, on the other hand, assumed they would be back under the same roof in 48 hours. We all know how things actually turned out, I guess.

It wasn’t long, though, before talk turned back to Kim and Ken’s lateness. Kim was defiant and unconcerned that she had been so rude to the entire group, and for some reason, no one really pushed her all that hard on the subject. At this point, I’m not sure why someone hasn’t gotten in her face – ignoring an addict’s bad behavior just enables them to continue to self-destruct, and in this case, it enables them to continue to be in what is clearly an unhealthy relationship. Someone needs to really let Kim have it and not tiptoe around her. Mauricio tried to explain to Kim that the lying on top of the lateness and rudeness created a lot of tension, but I’m not sure that it penetrated the thick haze of whatever it was that Kim was on. She certainly didn’t have any kind of meaningful response to it.

The next day, the whole group was supposed to go out on a rented boat, which is normally an activity that most people would appreciate having arranged for them to enjoy, free of charge. Not Kim and Ken, though. Twenty minutes after the boat was supposed to leave, no one had seen hide nor hair of Frick and Frack, so Lisa spearheaded a recovery mission to find out what kind of k-hole they had fallen into. She and Kyle scaled a wall (sort of) to pound on the patio door to their hotel room so that they would actually open their real door, at which point Kim declared that only Kyle would be allowed to enter. Lisa doesn’t follow instructions from people like Kim, though, so she told them that they were being rude and they needed to be ready now.

Kim mumbled something back about the phone or the clock or something, Ken protested that you couldn’t hear whatever it was that was supposed to make an alarm noise, and Lisa and Kyle went back to the boat. And then…the boat left! Someone grew a backbone and left Latey McLaterson and her troll boyfriend on the shore so that they could all enjoy their boat ride without those two getting the junkie sweats and skeeving everyone out.

Instead, Frick and Frack found a random table on the sidewalk somewhere to “have lunch” and slur at each other. As Kyle pointed out later, they didn’t go to the beach or to the pool or even to get a couple’s massage. They just sat there, acting wasted and dribbling out a bunch of nonsense about how Kim should always smile and no one should ever make her unhappy. Kim, it’s worth noting, was also wearing some kind of strange choker with her bathing suit that made her look like she stepped straight out of 1994.

Back home in Beverly Hills, Taylor and Dana-Pam (who apparently didn’t get invited to Hawaii, even after all of her begging) got together to have a chef-prepared meal in a palatial kitchen and boohoo about Taylor’s breakup. Perhaps it’s because we’ve all been hearing about it for so long in the regular press, but I had a hard time listening to the scene. Mostly I just wanted my very own piece of salmon, which, sadly, was not forthcoming.

In Hawaii, another group get-together was planned and more Ken and Kim drama went down. Ken was hiding behind a bush and overheard part of what seemed to be a fairly innocuous conversation between Adrienne, Kim and Paul, and he stopped the entire group cold and confronted them about what was being said. He accused Adrienne of making some kind of bad face, which is just silly, because we all know that Adrienne’s face doesn’t really move all that much. The entire scene was bizarre and frankly a little scary – he seemed more than willing to try and intimidate anyone he didn’t like into shutting up, and I can only imagine what he’d be like in a one-on-one relationship with a petite, insecure woman like Kim. Particularly if he was the one controlling her supply of whatever it is that she’s, which I’m beginning to think was the case.

Things actually did progress to the sit-down portion of the meal, though, against all logic, but they didn’t stay there for long. Kyle tried to rather delicately broach the issue of rudeness and lateness and (tangentially, at least) junkieness with Frick and Frack, but they both decided that they didn’t care (or, more accurately, Ken decided for them and made a bunch of “we” declarations) what anyone said because they’d do what they wanted and Kyle is just, like, totally harshing their mellow, you know? So they got up and left instead of actually taking any sort of responsibility for their actions or the frustrations that they’d caused for the group, because how dare anyone tell them that they’re behaving like spoiled teenagers? And utterly creepy spoiled teenagers at that.

In their absence, the rest of the table actually fell into argument, despite the fact that I think they all mostly agreed that Kim was out of line, Ken’s presence seemed to make her problems worse and Kyle needed to intervene as much as she could. Or, you know, stop enabling the entire thing at the very least. Brandi, of all people, was the one to step in with the reality check that the scene needed – Kim obviously has issues and needs help, but going around and picking up after her only enables her to continue to live with those problems instead of confronting them. And by “live with those problems,” I mean literally live with Ken and whatever stash he’s enticing her with. Kim was just released from rehab and is no longer with Ken, according to Kyle, so at least there’s been a bit of progress since this episode was shot.

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Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • coachwife6

    Great recap as always. The part about the choker and Brandi adding spot-on clarity were two things I brought away from the episode. Also, was wondering why Taylor’s hair was covering her left eye at Dana-Pam’s house and in the previews for next week.

    • You know, that’s actually a really good point. I know that some people doubt that Taylor was actually abused, but despite the fact that she seems like a tremendously crappy person in her own right, I just don’t think there’s logical room to question whether or not she had physical violence perpetrated on her. I think it’s fairly obvious that she did, and it just goes to show you that those things can happen to anyone – good people, bad people, people of indeterminate morality, etc.

      • NCGal

        I think Taylor has been hit/abused…I just don’t think Russell is the perpetrator/abuser…not for one moment to I believe it.

      • I 100% believe that Russell was the abuser. He has a documented history of restraining orders and abuse allegations.

  • suz

    Boy, that was hard to watch. Let’s hear it for Brandi, who suddenly became the voice of reason and spoke with obvious authority on the subject of addiction. I don’t know anything about her history, but obviously she’s had some education and/or background in the subject. She’s growing on me as the season goes on. Glad Kim has gotten some help….and gotten rid of that evil Ken.. Hope it sticks.

  • Blaine

    Brandi’s a keeper – she’s interesting – but can we lose Dana-Pam? I find her obsessive need to price-drop everything she owns to be both vulgar and obscene. It’s fun to see people living in luxury, like Lisa and Ken, kind of an escape and wish-fulfillment, but when DP starts flaunting the receipts, “look how much I paid for this watch!!!” it’s way-harsh in this economy. I can’t look at DP’s watch without thinking that would erase my family’s medical bills and a good chunk of my mortgage. Hate her, she has to go.

    • Ashley

      Dana-Pam reminds me of Quinn from Season 3 of Orange County. A random, older housewife with nothing interesting to add to the storyline. Get her out of here!!

    • susan

      i agree!! and i’m liking brandi too

  • Jamie

    This was a hard episode to watch. It was evident that everyone at the dinner #2 was trying very hard to not say “addict” or “substance abuse” on camera, even though they all know that is what they are dealing with. And a truly abusive enabler to boot. This is the abusive relationship those women should be worried about. Not the crap that Taylor is spewing. The more footage I see of her, the less I believe any of her statements of abuse. I’m sad for her daughter. I am happy to hear that Kim is getting help too.

    • NCGal

      I totally agree, Jamie.

      • suz

        Unlikablel as she is, I think Taylor was abused. If you know anything about abuse, it’s pretty obvious. Russell has a history of abusing. Taylor has abuse in her background. There’s a reason these people get together. It’s a bad, bad cycle. Hopefully she can get the real therapy she needs so her daughter can escape the cycle..

      • Jamie

        I do know quite a bit about domestic violence. And, I believe almost 100% (because who really knows except the people who were there?) that Taylor was the abuser, not Russell. Men are abused – it happens more than we know. He is not necessarily the most likable character, yet he can be a victim too. The problem is, he can’t speak for himself – he’s dead. And the people who loved him (his family, friends) don’t have Bravo and the massive media entity to spin his side of the story.

  • m1ni

    ‘He accused Adrienne of making some kind of bad face, which is just silly, because we all know that Adrienne’s face doesn’t really move all that much’ – LOL ..When i was watching that scene, I was like, whose face did he say?

    • Jamie

      Did you notice in that scene that Paul breaks the “4th Wall” by looking into the camera – 2 different times – as if to say, “what’s up with this loon?”

      • Now that you mention it, I did notice him do that. It’s pretty rare in Real Housewives, and it definitely gave the scene an even creepier undertone – he and Adrienne seemed pretty obviously creeped out by Ken. Usually scenes like that are a setup, to a certain extent, but that one appeared to be spontaneous.

      • Jamie

        He may have even been trying to communicate with the cameraman to say “hey – we may need your help in a second when this guy loses it”. It was a VERY awkward scene.

  • CLynn

    Regarding Taylor’s hair in her face, it was bugging me the whole scene. But then i saw on the previews for next week’s episode, Lisa calling her out on the black eye she was obviously trying to cover up. I just don’t know what to think about this lady. I support any woman who gets herself and her daughter out of an abusive home, but this smells so rotten. I mean if that really happened, why was she filming and trying to cash in on it?

    Would Bravo producers hold these cast members to filming a scene when they clearly are spousal abuse victims? I don’t think you can do that, I think this storyline is all hers.

    • Amy

      But if Taylor was being abused by Russell there could have been fear of his potential reaction if she did stop filming. If he’s trying to portray things as hunky-dory & she’s suddenly pulled out of filming there would be questions & further speculation – bad press for him – the truth might come out & who knows what he would do then. So maybe she was trying to maintain until she felt she could get out safely? It’s really hard to say. Unless you’re in it you just don’t know. With that said, Taylor definitely liked the lifestyle & I think she went into & stayed in the relationship, tolerating abuse, partially because of the money/potential for success he once had.

  • Nancy

    Lisa had it right at the 2nd dinner. This is who Kim is, it’s not going to change. Accept it. The frustration that Kyle and her husband are experiencing are due to unfulfilled expectations they have of a person who is unable to fulfill those expectations. Lisa said as much during the first meal when she said something like, “Do you think it will be different 10 years from now? It’ll be the same thing.” She’s right. This is the way Kim is wired. Accept her for who she is, recognize that she’ll never be like you or have your life.

  • Mary

    Why did Kyle even want Kim in Hawaii? “Oh shucks, Kim, you don’t have ID for the flight? We’ll miss you. Bye.” I guess it was required by Bravo. I understand Kyle’s enabling behavior much more than the choice to impose Kim’s company (and creepy Ken’s) on her friends on such a special trip. It was so obviously a recipe for disaster.

    • I am sure it was something the producers mandated for her to get paid – because no one wanted Kim there, truly!

  • Mirna

    I think Taylor gave herself a black eye so people will believe she’s abused since everyone is questioning if it’s true. She’s so annoying. Ken and Kim are def on drugs. No question about that after this episode!

  • Linda

    If Bravo are keeping Kim and Ken for ? reason then we need an “annoying !!!” button to keep hitting during the show. These are my favorite Housewives, but really- how much Botox / plastic surgery does it take before you confront people with their actions and make them responsible. You know-fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!!! Kim has to go, she obviously is not going to stay in rehab, she just needs to go off the show!

    • Nancy

      She’s a flake. What should she responsible for? Nothing bad happened. She wasn’t carrying a transplant organ. Really, sometimes a person can say, “I’m sorry and let’s drop it.” Kyle just didn’t want to drop it.

      • S

        I agree with you and Anderson Cooper on WWHL. Mauricio and Kyle needed to drop the issue. At least for the sake of their guests. Not a fan of Mauricio. He didn’t do anything to really back Kyle during the white party. Paul on the other hand, stepped up. And it was funny when Kim of all people threw out the idea that Taylor may have broken up with her husband so she could be invited to all the diners

      • Blaine

        Kim’s behavior shouldn’t be shocking to anyone at this point – and the worst way to force someone to apologize to a group is to demand it in front of the whole group. I would balk just on principle. And whenever private family drama becomes bickering at the dinner table where there are other couples, it’s just dreary for everyone else. And it ruins appetites, which is by far the largest offense.

      • Nancy

        S & Blaine: I agree. S, I also noticed Kim’s response that Taylor broke up with Russell because she wanted to go to the next dinner — and I gotta agree. In fact, I said as much in last week’s comments. She won’t put her foot down if she’s being hit. Won’t put her foot down if her child is in danger. But when she stops being invited to parties and doesn’t get camera time – that she just won’t stand for.

      • Adrienne Z

        Nancy, you are hilarious! Love your comment about Taylor not putting her foot down to being hit, but not being invited to dinners and even Hawaii is the absolute last straw. LOL!!! Especially when everything is free….
        I can’t even stand the sound of her voice any more. It’s grating on my last nerve.

  • Kevin

    #5. I saw it too. It was kind of a “are you getting this?!” look to the camera operator followed by a “pan away for a sec so I can punch him” movement with his eyes.

  • adrienne z

    Thanks Amanda for all of the recaps. You give us an outlet to air all of our opinions, queries, observations, and grievances. I just LOVE this site and I love the comments after your recaps. I check this site every chance I get just to see what your viewers are saying and I enjoy every minute of it!
    Where else can we discuss what we think? I only have one other friend that watches these shows and I don’t get a chance to talk to her too often, so Thank You again and Good Job Commenters!!

  • coachwife6

    And it was funny when Kim of all people threw out the idea that Taylor may have broken up with her husband so she could be invited to all the diners

    yes, yes! I think that’s true.

  • Jennifer

    I laughed too when Kim threw out Taylor being invited to their dinners! Kim is no dummy! She may have her addictions, but she was a very successful child actress in the day -you know she had her fair share of people ‘hanging on’ to her. She knows them when she sees them!

    I agree Russell probably hit Taylor on more than one occasion -not acceptable- however, I suspect she may have hit him first. Imagine 2 people bawling it out & she smacks at him & then POW -the pops her one. Like another poster said, he’s obviously violent based on his past & she comes from violent -going Oklahoma on Kim’s ass was a natural way to handle that problem, just as telling Camille YOU, OUT was what she was planning the night of Brandi’s party. My theory is that Taylor & Russell BOTH beat the crap out of each other. But she’s going to play the victim when all we know she was the instigator.

    I don’t think violence on anyone is ok…

    • Nancy

      Jennifer, I agree on both counts. I’m still not entirely sure about the what really went on in that relationship, but I doubt it went down they was Taylor says it did.

    • Adrienne Z

      I agree. She’s always out of control at every gathering – can you just imagine how she is at home when she’s actually in a verbal debate that escalades into an argument? He probably had to shake some sense into her on more than once occasion just to shut her up. She’s baggage that I can’t imagine anyone wanting to carry around even if it is designer baggage.

  • Alena

    Just a thought. There can be bruises after injecting the under eye hollows with Restylane.

    • Nancy

      I’m guessing yes. Kim Kardashian got bruises from botox. Also, let’s face it, a good make-up person can do a lot.

      • jomarie

        Even amatures can apply make up to cover bruises. She was definately flaunting the eye. Trying to back up her stories because no one believes her.

    • Adrienne Z

      WOW! Awesome statement! That could very well be the case…

  • FallonLatrece

    I literally fell out laughing when Kim said she was always on time. She was a stickler for puncationality (sp).

  • Jude

    Amanda – love your recaps – gotta point out the laugh out loud line of the episode though — Kim boasting, “I’m a marlin fisher!”
    Huh? You’re a – say what? How would that work – -bigass fish versus scrawny wobbling blotto blond?
    I think both Kyle and Mauricio, who i usually like, were kinda perseverating on the tardiness topic though. I don’t blame frickn’frack for telling them to stuff it already.
    Finally, although I am ordinarily a pacifist and — this is terrible to admit — I secretly kinda want to smack Taylor too…

  • Nancy

    Jude – you’re not alone !

  • Adrienne Z

    @Jude – LOL!!!! bigass fish versus scrawny wobbling blotto blond!!! LOVE IT!! Now there’s a visual for ya!

  • Tiffany

    Just because someone has documented allegations against them for being abusive doesn’t mean they were. Smart people have things “documented”, which could easily just be “He hit me”, so they can go back 6 months later and say “See it was even happening 6 months ago”.
    I don’t think Russell was physically abusive. He wasn’t around enough and he didn’t seem to care about Taylor enough to take the time to smack her around. I do fully believe he was a douche, though, so the possibility of him being emotionally abusive is quite likely.

    • NCGal

      Yep…that’s what I think, too, Tiffany. I think Taylor saw this potential and has lied and manipulated to this end from day one. We’ll see, right? My guess is that loooooong after RHBH, she will pop up again in some kind of weird and nefarious scandal. I would bet the farm on that.

  • tata

    Kim’s Ken was sooooo creepy! Why would anyone want to be around that? And Kim… gosh, what a nightmare. It was so uncomfortable to watch because everyone seems so concerned about them being late. but come on, this has nothing to do with being late… no one cares if Kim and Ken are late and missing the party. the real question is WHY they are being late and it was annoying to have to watch everyone tiptoe around that subject. I mean, why is Kim so defensive and have to lie so much if they have nothing to hide?

    Also, did anyone see how awful Kim’s skin looks? There was scene where she’s getting her makeup done and wow, her skin looks like shit! if that’s not enough to get your lifestyle back on track, then she has some seeeerious issues!

  • cutiebingo

    Taylor likes to get injections on her face that is why she had black eye. she is kind the girl likes get abused by her man and going around tell her friends. just want to get attention. Dana-Pam’s hairstyle has to go. she can put some money on her hair