After this weekend’s awesome debut of Real Housewives of Atlanta, I figured that whatever episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we got last night would seem a bit sedate by comparison; not only would the juxtaposition of the two different casts be stark, but Bravo tends to tone down other Housewives franchises if one is having a big episode in a particular week.

That was mostly the case last night; the Malouf-Nassifs hosted another spa party, this one at Paul’s office, and Kyle hosted a seance. No big fights happened, no one got called a crack head, Brandi didn’t hit anyone with her crutches. Ho hum.

We started with an old standby of Housewifery – the medispa party. This one was conducted by our dear friend Paul, who promised to zap Kyle’s muffin top (which wouldn’t exist if she bought pants designed for adult women who have hips) and fill all the weird hollowness in Taylor’s head and give Lisa an opportunity to sit around and laugh at everyone else messing with their faces. Kim was coming, and she may or may not have been under the impression that she was getting a free facelift, but she was late.

We joined Kim in the car while everyone else (except for Camille, who was hiding from her life at the moment) had already arrived at the party, and she acted like her being late is a rare thing instead of a constant occurrence. It was amazing that she didn’t manage to cause a massive accident while absentmindedly making her way down the interstate while having a speakerphone plastic surgery consultation with Paul, but she didn’t, and Kim eventually arrived at the office to get stuff shot into her face. For future reference: HANDS AT 10 AND 2, KIM. 10 AND 2.

Once she was inside, though, the weirdness didn’t stop. She told everyone that she was late because she was getting ready to move (which, as Lisa mentioned in an utterly hilarious Kim impression, is just another in a string of weird excuses) and had been packing non-stop, but when her cast mates inquired, Kim refused to tell anyone exactly where she was moving. Supposedly that was to keep her sister from finding out, and although I can understand that Kyle is kind of overbearing, refusing to tell a close relative and sometime caretaker where you’re moving until you move there seems incredibly immature. Kim’s such a mess that I can’t blame Kyle for being all up in her business sometimes. Someone has to be, and Kim sure doesn’t seem all that involved herself.

Speaking of things in which Kim shall not be involved: Seances! Evil, spooky, populated-by-demons seances. Obviously, I do not believe in this stuff, or psychics, or astrology, or the Easter Bunny or anything else. I just don’t. Although if I had to pick one, I’d pick the Easter Bunny, because none of those other things provide delicious chocolates. Anyway, back to the point: Kim thinks that she’s already, like, super connected to the spirit world and she’s afraid that if she goes to the seance, she’ll come home with a new house guest, so she’s not going.

Obviously, I’m biased and I think that’s a silly excuse, and just in case anyone else felt me on that (I bet Lisa, my one and only lady crush, would feel me on that), Kim threw in the “It’s against my religion!” thing for good measure. No one’s allowed to call you a nitwit once you’ve invoked your religion, because if they do, then you get to shift the focus to them being intolerant and you’ve won the argument. Really, Kim just didn’t want to go to Kyle’s house, and everything would have been a lot more expedient if she’d just said that. We all know it.

Kim eventually found herself inside an exam room with Paul, reading out the long list of the medications that she takes but swearing that she never drinks while on them (we’ll talk about those at the end). Meanwhile, Lisa and Kyle were in the waiting room, reading an email from Russell on Lisa’s pink-cased iPad. Before we launch into the particulars of the email, I’d like to say that I loved two things about this interaction: First, that Kyle wasn’t too vain to put on her reading glasses on television, and second, that Lisa whipped out her iPad to read the email instead of her phone. Anyway, the email was in general response to the Us Weekly article that Russell and Taylor were sure Lisa had planted, and she was the only person who received it. Hmm. I wonder why.

When Taylor later emerged from having various substances shot into her face, Lisa asked about Russell’s email and Taylor feigned ignorance about why he sent it, who it was sent to and what it was regarding. When Lisa started asking more pointed questions, Taylor was suddenly “late” and ran off, which is exactly the problem that I have with these accusations. Let me get this straight: Taylor’s accusing Lisa off all sorts of things behind her back to the other cast members, but she won’t discuss it directly with Lisa when asked, even though one of Taylor’s big complaints about Lisa is that she says unsubstantiated things about her behind her back to their mutual friends. When offered the chance to clear the air face-to-face and in the presence of some of the other people involved, Taylor bolted.

Lisa continued to inquire about Taylor before everyone else left, insisting that Taylor seems to have few friends. She and Kyle disagreed over whether Camille and Taylor are non-TV buddies, but in general, it wouldn’t surprise me if Taylor was indeed a bit lonely. Women with abusive spouses often find themselves isolated by their man’s manipulation and control tactics; female friends are a threat to the abuser’s authority over the victim because they may be seen as a source of support or encouragement for leaving the relationship. Lisa may have been wrong about Taylor’s relationship with Camille, but she was probably right in general.

That doesn’t mean that it’s ok for her to go around town using Taylor’s isolation as a way to gossip about her, if that’s indeed what happened, as Taylor claims. She said that Lisa contacted Camille about it, but until Camille independently confirms that, I’m not particularly inclined to believe anything that Taylor says. Not only is she a grifter to begin with, but women with abusive spouses also tend to stay “on message” when out in public. If that’s what Russell wanted her to say, then that’s probably what she’d say. And the whole thing does work perfectly to shift focus from their terrible relationship on to Lisa, doesn’t it? Just something to think about.

Once everyone (minus Kim) arrived for the seance party, things were actually more or less drama-free. Some of the psychic readings turned out more accurate than others, and obviously Taylor was told that there’s a lot of darkness in her relationship and Kyle was told that she was Kim’s mother in a past life. The most surprising thing, though, was that more or less the entire cast was in the room together, and everyone got along. Even Brandi, wearing a gorgeous Alaia dress! And even with a psychic present! We remember what happened with the last psychic, right? The one with all the bowl-sized martinis and the Cigarette of Insanity? This one was way different.

The lack of drama during the seance was quickly made up for by the drama between Kim and Kyle. They got together at Kim’s house to discuss the extra super secret location of Kim’s upcoming move, about which she would tell no one, and unlike Bravo’s teaser promised, she wasn’t moving out of state. Instead, she was moving in with her maybe-mailman secret boyfriend that we met last week, and Kim also spilled the beans on him to end the episode. The entire interaction was more civil (and less drunk-seeming) than I expected it to be, and next week, Kyle will meet the mailman and ask him about his wedding ring.

Now, though, let’s talk about Kim and the list of medications that I told you we’d get to eventually. They were Trazadone, Lexapro and Topamax, the first two of which are serious anti-depressants and the third of which is an anti-seizure medication also used to prevent migraines. (I’m assuming that Kim’s usage is for headaches.) For all three of these medications, all of which seem to be fairly heavy duty based on my Google-fu, confusion and forgetfulness are a known side effect. For Topamax and Lexapro, drowsiness is also on that list, and for Topamax in particular, weight loss, irritability and mood swings can occur. To be on all three of those medications at the same time is not a trivial thing, and would most certainly have an effect on Kim’s demeanor, probably even to the extent that she would appear drunk half the time. If she was drinking at an alcoholic clip while on these pills, she’d probably be catatonic.

But she’s not, and that’s perhaps more interesting. On this cocktail of medications, if she took them consistently, it would seem like it would be impossible for Kim to have the sort of up-for-days panic episodes that she described in the bathroom with Kyle a few days back. So is she self-medicating with an upper in order to try and even herself out? I’m not an expert, but I don’t think that’s unheard of. Whatever it is, it seems like it might be time for Kim to make a trip back to her doctor to discuss her roster of medications and if they can be adjusted at all; being on so many pills every day that you seem drunk to everyone around you is a tough way to go through life.

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  • Nancy

    The final scene where Kim was calm, centered and even maternal was a pleasure to watch. Kyle’s reaction felt completely raw and real and felt that I had a look at just how complicated their relationship is. However, all of Los Angeles would be appreciative if Kim notified the CHP when she’s about to get on the road – so we can move to the nearest exit and wait until she passes.

    • It was definitely the best scene of the episode, which I underplayed a bit in the recap. More than I intended to, in fact. Kim seemed lucid and mature, Kyle seemed nervous for her sister and genuinely concerned instead of controlling. There was a depth there that we usually don’t get in Real Housewives, and it was really nice to see that between them. I feel like I understand them both a little better.

      • S

        I too enjoyed this scene. I never understood why Kyle badmouthed her sister last season and the limo scene where she called her an alcoholic was too much for me. But this scene made me a litty misty eyed for both of them. Still doubting Lisa though. Taylor found out that someone is going around gossiping about her lack of friends and next we see how Lisa try to convince Kyle of that very thing. To me it seems quite evident that the gossip is from Lisa. She doesn’t seem malicious, just a little elitist. She seems to run and likes controlling the people in her social circle. And lets face it, Taylor does not have what it takes to confront someone like Lisa.

  • Laura

    I work in the medical field and my jaw hit the floor when she listed off those medications. The light bulb came on in my head “OH THATS WHY SHE SOUNDS LIKE A WACKADOO MOST OF THE TIME!”

    My husband looked so confused lol.

  • mochababe73

    The Topamax is also used for alcohol addiction according to
    Anyway, Kim definitely should not be operating a motor vehicle while on those medications. Kyle is right not to trust him. I skeeved just thinking about Kim moving in with him.
    Taylor is so far down the river of denial that I doubt she could ever find herself back to shore. I saw her on Dr. Phil, and this woman is in dire need of help. I think Dr. Phil offered some to her. I hope that she took it.
    Lisa is the passive-agressive one in the group. I honestly think that she may have something to do with the stories. NY has LuAnn. NJ has Kathy.
    I love watching Adrienne and Paul in action. They’re cute.
    I still can’t believe that I like Camille. Kelsey is an a$$. He actually wanted custody of the boy, and Camille could take the girl.
    I will say this though, I’m scared for Kim. I hope that the don’t find her strung out somewhere in a crack house.

    • Nancy

      I thought Paul and Adrienne were pretty cute at the office, too. Especially when he asked her if she wanted to put on a pair of gloves. I finally got to see a spark in her eye when she looks at him (instead of the annoyed look we so often see).

      • Blaine

        That was really sweet. I kind of love them as a couple. He seems to have enough ego to enjoy her annoyance.

    • Manuela

      About the Kelsey thing, supposedly wanting primary custody of his son and not his daughter…I gotta call baloney on that. I’m sure it’s just more Camille-spew. Family courts are loathe to split up siblings under most circumstances (generally speaking); a parent requesting this is usually seen as not having the best interests of either child in mind. For Kelsey to commit to such an idea in documentation (custody petition) would be the height of stupidity that would haunt him on several levels for years.

      I’m more inclined to believe that Camille sank to a new low by dragging their kids into yet another public accusation that she won’t/can’t back up with proof. Another sick attempt at high conflict contact with Kelsey, since the gay accusations didn’t draw his fire.

      Kelsey has since said in an interview that there was no truth to this accusation.

      • Nancy

        Yes, Kelsey did say it was not true. Unfortunately for him, TMZ got a hold of the petition some while back when this was happening (it was posted on their site) and he DID ask for his son. Just ’cause Kelsey said it wasn’t true, doesn’t mean that it wasn’t true. He’s a big, fat liar.

  • pg1908

    Cigarette of insanity!!! I’m done!

  • Lorie

    I was prescribed Topamax for migraine headaches awhile back. It was horrible. I felt like I was moving and talking in slow motion. I was so drugged out that I couldn’t keep my eyes open – even on the smallest dose. I had a feeling all along that Kim’s problem was prescription meds. I thought she was addicted maybe. Never thought it was a cocktail of scary meds. Hope she gets it straightened out.

  • Lorie

    Kelsey Grammer is a massive TOOL.

    • suz

      I agree….I vowed to myself last night that I will never, ever watch anything he is in…ever!

    • Nancy


      • Manuela

        Took me awhile but I found that letter on I stand corrected! Kelsey is stupider and a bigger tool than I took him for.

  • Melissa H

    I was once on 2 anti depresants and an anti-anxiety med and I felt like a completely different person and probably seemed drunk to ppl (slurry, sleepy, even more stumbly than in my every day accident-prone life…) and I finally found a new dr who was impressed I wasn’t dead (I’m now off all meds and can’t believe I ever took that many). I hope Kim’s dr(s) have her best interests at heart and not the drug companies’.
    Great episode and great recap! Next week looks to bring the drama.

    • Melissa H

      *impressed I wasn’t dead from the drug cocktail, that is.

  • Kristen

    Where did Lisa get the “cigarette of insanity” at the mention of Allsion at the seance? Were they party favors?!? If so, nice one Kyle…

  • Kristen

    FYI: Topamax has also been found beneficial for treating bipolar disorder. Wonder what it’s for in Kim’s case. Alcohol, migraines, bipolar…hmmm…

  • suz

    Amanda, thanks for yet another great recap. I got too antsy (bored) to sit and watch…but I drifted by to see the gentleman in question slipping off the wedding ring…and, darn, it was a preview for next week. Does anyone know what that’s all about?

  • Nancy from SB

    Bored to death with the botox parties – enough already!

    Really liked the “seance” scene (although it was really just a group reading than an actual seance. I AM a believer and have participated in many). Wish they had shown much more – everyone’s reading, inclg Faye’s, etc. Much rather see this than arguing or women getting giant needles stuck in their faces.

    BravoTV please stop showing these idiots dialing, texting, and looking at their phones while operating a vehicle! It is illegal here in CA and your endless “promotion” of these dangerous acts (esp. on Flipping Out and RH’s) is indefensible. More and more cyclists, children, and seniors are getting mowed down and killed in my town (Santa Barbara). These Bravo “stars” can afford the required hands-free devices, not that that is much improvement.

    While I agree that the last scene with Kyle and Kim seemed a bit more genuine than usual, it totally bored me. If Kyle flipped her hair one more time I thought I would scream. Her hair seems to be some kind of crutch which totally distracts from what she is saying. It was nice to see Kim appear the tiniest bit empowered and at peace. But, good God, get her off the 101 and the 405 (highways in LA) before SHE mows someone down!

  • LauraJ

    I hope all of Kim’s antics have been caused by this cocktail. I can tell you that while on anti depressants, I had Trazadone prescribed as a sleep aid- it knocked me out in about 5 mins.

  • Purse Mommy

    I knew Kim was on something and that it was probably prescribed. I really like Adrienne and Paul because they seem to be more concerned and caring with Kim. The rest seem dismissive to her.

  • Mirna

    I love Paul he’s such a sweet guy. I also liked that the scene with Kim and Kyle seemed very real. We don’t get to see real emotions on reality tv anymore. It was great! I don’t like Lisa anymore. I never thought I’d say that but she just seems too controlling. Why wasn’t crazy Dana invited? Isn’t she supposed to be closer with the group than brandi?? A

  • adrienne z

    I love Paul too! I think he is Adorable! He always has a twinkle in his eye and seems like he’d be alot of fun to pal around with.

  • jomarie

    Anti depressants can really alter a person’s reaction to alcohol. All the bottles carry some sort of alcohol warning. Drug companies don’t seem to want the truth of it to discourage widespread use so the warnings are quite mild and most people dismiss them . A person with a normal, cultural habit of drinking can find themselves in court compelled AA meetings in no time. Family members will notice changed behaviors and can be witherring in thier criticism. Anti seasure drugs are frequently given to people withdrawing from heavy alcohol use. A good, responsible doctor is a very important part of any treatment. These drugs can make or break a life.

    • Blaine

      My darling, wonderful aunt was at Betty Ford quite a few times and it can be quite a vicious cycle of events. You are depressed so you drink, you drink, you become more depressed, you take anti-depressants, have a drink & get even more freaked out — this is such a complicated physical & psychological disease — if only everyone suffering from it could find, as you say jomarie, a good responsible doctor. And on that note, once Paul seemed to get a handle on Kim’s meds, he was very objective, nonjudgmental and helpful. I like him a helluva lot more than I did at first.

  • jomarie

    please excuse my poor spelling, I get passionate about some things.

  • deejah

    Where did Lisa find that E-cigarette?

  • Alena

    Am I the only one who got an impression that the scene where Paul explains the side effects of the drugs to Kim was shot later and was inserted into the episode intentionally for us, viewers, as a response to so many negative comments about Kim’s behavior and rumors of her possibly taking illegal drugs? And that he came up with that list of drugs (and instructed Kim to say it) so we all could sleep well and stop talking about Kim’s being an alcoholic or addict?

  • adrienne z

    Just caught a rerun and really noticed how Kim was driving. No hands on the wheel, completely absorbed in her conversation as opposed to keeping an eye on the road, almost swerved into somebody else, no hands on the wheel again.
    That girl, meds or no meds, should not have a driver’s license and should not be driving! Glad I’m not in California!

  • Deb

    I think Kyle is way too co-dependent. She doesn’t want Kim to have a life.

  • hannah

    I think once Kims doctor gets wind of her medications on tv like that, there maybe a lawsuit to take the blame off of her self medicating. I’m guessing that they were doing trial and error with her meds to see which ones work and when they get sent home they get a list of which meds to stop, start, and continue and I’m thinking that instead of stopping or getting different dosages, she’s just keeping all the previous meds and adding the new prescriptions to them. Either that or she’s going to various doctors and not letting them know what all she’s on. Those three meds can make people out of their mind crazyyyyy just on their own individually, but all 3 at once plus if she’s drinking is insaneee. We tell them to not drive cars or ‘operate machinery’ or whatever, but the fact that she is actually still walking around and functioning speaks volume on the tolerance level she has with those meds.

    • Blaine

      I can imagine that there’s a ton of confusion level with these meds, so much so that you might not be able to remember what you’ve taken or how much.