Real Housewives Tug Wig News flash: Everybody still hates Kim.

Other than that, I’m not sure what to say. Did anyone else have a problem finding any kind of, uh, story line last night? Isn’t Real Housewives of Atlanta supposed to have some sort of narrative structure? Because sure, some stuff happened, but I’m not sure that it really got us anywhere. We did get to see the rest of a fairly anticlimactic fight and some friend of Sheree’s called Nene fat. Oh, and Dwight grabbed Kandi’s boobs and then she went to lunch with T-Boz from TLC. Yeah. That was about it. It’s a hard job, but someone has to do it: you can read more details after the jump.

So the episode started where we left last week: with Sheree about to yank Kim’s weave off in the streets of Midtown. Well, not really. All she did was tug on it a little bit. In what had to be one of the oddest Real Housewives quotes of all time, Sheree said that she didn’t intend to snatch her wig off her head, she just wanted to “shift it a little bit.” Which, I have to admit, would have been really hilarious if it had come to pass. I’d love to see Kim with a crooked wig. But Sheree didn’t pull hard enough and let us all down. Kim left with her weave intact and I was bored to tears already.

So Kim flipped out about all of this and had to import a white friend from Alabama and take her to a mediocre restaurant (there’s nothing these women love more than mediocre restaurants) to talk about the particular ways in which she would and would not call someone’s husband broke. Which was fascinating, I assure you. Ultimately she decided that Sheree was crazy (which, ya know, I don’t necessarily disagree with) and that her kids like Nene so much that it might be worth mending fences with her. So, in essence, we’re right back where we started before the wig-yanking!

Real Housewives of Atlanta Dwight

In a bit of a narrative non sequitur, Nene, Sheree, Kandi and…Lisa? Did Lisa go? I can’t even remember…went to an awkwardly large birthday party for Atlanta’s favorite homosexual, Dwight. While party preparations were going on, the whole thing looked like it was going to be kind of fabulous, but then the actual party happened and the space still looked like a warehouse and it wasn’t dark enough to be a cool, hip warehouse. Still, I’d like to know how Dwight got hoisted up into the tire swing that was inexplicably hanging from the ceiling. One of the great mysteries of the 21st centuries right there.

In fake fashion line news, now not only does Sheree have one, but Lisa does to. And it’s kind of hilarious to hear about it right now, since news that Lisa and her husband were being evicted from their house just came out a couple of days ago. But we all knew that neither of them was *actually* going to produce a viable product in any way, so I guess it’s just kind of a wash.

Since these women do nothing both host and go to marginal parties, Sheree then decided to host a housewarming, NOT to be confused with the independence party that resulted in such a ridiculous fight in the first episode of the season. Sheree’s gun-wielding, athlete-dating, ex-soldier, ex-model friend Tania showed up and Nene told her she needed to eat a sandwich, which was admittedly rude, and then Tania basically called her fat, which was just as uncalled for, and then told Lisa that she needed to cut all her hair off, and then…nothing happened. Too bad, I was hoping that one of them would hit Tania with her handbag. I certainly would have if I was Nene.

And that’s not the only time she got called fat this episode, it was just the first time she got called fat to her face. And Nene’s not a small woman, but she doesn’t look anywhere near fat to me, but perhaps she looks different to skinny people, of which I am not one. Between that and Kandi and T-Boz from TLC talking about weight loss clinics and and 138 being an unreasonably large weight, I couldn’t help but wonder when we were going to get back to the trash talking about people’s husbands, fashion lines and foreclosed houses. I don’t watch TV to see people fret about gaining or losing seven pounds; I have friends for that.

At the end of the episode, Kim and Nene got together again to talk about their friendship and have a glass of wine (I think these heifers have gone through an entire magnum in this episode alone), and things ended quasi-positively, because when you get those two together over some booze, things always end up going well (see: last week’s pre-fight drinks). I can’t imagine it would last for long, though, because I’ve known people like Kim.

It’s always impossible to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt whether or not they’ve actually done something wrong, but as they move through a social group, they continue to make enemy after enemy until no one likes them, even though it’s difficult to prove exactly why. They’ve just got a snake-like, untrustworthy vibe to them, and you never know what they’re going to do with the information that they have about you. They’re the type of woman that has no qualms about sleeping with someone’s husband, so long as he’s buying her Bentleys. So while we don’t entirely know that Kim was going around town lying about everyone, the fact that these women who are so desperate for sycophants and attention don’t want her around is enough proof for me.

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Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • Otter

    This season has been a disappointment so far. Lot’s of rehashing of old news. Even next week, they will be providing extra footage of the wig tug. Whatever!

    Love your review. My favorite observation is “Since these women do nothing both host and go to marginal parties . . . ” Ha ha.

  • Megs Mahoney Dusil

    The best part of this episode was the very beginning… it was all downhill and oh-so-boring from there on out. I want more tugging at the wig scenes!

  • Em

    speaking of rehashing … how many times will Nene mention ‘you know me and sheree, we go wayyy back, we have history’ or ‘kims my girl, we’ve been friends for ages, she’s my girl’ … i think by now everyone knows that!!

    Atlanta is getting as boring as Orange County, where really none of the housewives even like each other anymore.

    I want more jersey housewives!!

  • sohoaccessories

    First I think that Dwight should have his own show !
    Nene is always on the fence…first she’s your friend and then she’s not…She always says that I have known her for soooo long…8 years!
    That’s not soooo long.
    I like Candi but I think she is headed down a long rode…Dealing with I think 4 other mamas…whew !
    The best part is when they are laughing…they all have such a good laugh.

  • Urooj

    I totally agree about the mediocre restaurants! ( does Kim seriously NOT know what guacamole is?? You live in Atlanta, not Alaska)

    Also I thought Nene’s leather jacket she wore to Dwights party was really ugly – but what handbag did she have at the restaurant the night of their street fight? (She was wearing a white tank top and jeans, black handbag) I couldn’t tell if it was cute or not

  • michaelstjames

    LMAO at your review and everyone’s comments! This season is soooooooooooo boring!

  • Empress

    I just had to say that I love your posts about tRHoA. They crack me up. I agree Kim is crazy sneaky, but I’d keep her around. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And if she has all this money, can’t she buy a better wig? Does she not know that BRASS is NOT a hair color? Sheree is dilusional. DILUSIONAL. Sheree, learn from Whitney, crack is whack. NeNe and Dwight would totally be my friends IRL. Hilarious. Kandi. KANDI! Four baby mommas. Really? And you get into it with your mom over this? HELLO. Four baby mommas and SIX kids. One baby momma and one kid is a deal breaker for me… SIX KIDS? Four baby mommas?! All that talent and all that money has not made you a wise woman. THE MINUTE YOU SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE, YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU SETTLE FOR. Word.

  • Al

    I don’t think it’s boring, but then again I live in Atlanta so. Also, I think the 138 thing was considered large, because they are both VERY short.

  • @Urooj – I was wondering the same thing about Nene’s handbag. Hers was the only one in that scene I didn’t get a good look at. Kim’s was LV, Sheree’s was YSL. Lots of good bags in this episode – Kandi had a Miu Miu at Dwight’s party, Lisa had a Chanel at the meeting with her line’s designer, and Sheree and her friend Tania both carried Balenciagas at some point (although Tania’s looked a bit – dare I say it – fake? Maybe it was just the angle). I like the ATL housewives’ bags best of any of the franchises. Makes me proud of my hometown!

  • ping

    Amanda, love your recaps! I thought this episode was so boring that i could not even finishing watching the entire show (and I am so glad you are one honest blogger!) I think the “real” gossip behind the scenes (ie Lisa “downsizing” aka as foreclosing or Ne Ne getting evicted) are actually more interesting than what they show on the screen. As for the parties, lame is the word that comes into mind. I think the show producers are aware of this, hence they are bringing in more of Dwight. Unfortunately, in NYC here, we see so many more interesting Dwights and their parties.

  • Sher

    Thanks for the info that Lisa and her husband are being evicted. Did he ever get a job? I know the football didn’t work out. I guess they are relying on her fashion line or is it her jewelry line or is she selling real estate???

  • kimmee1969

    I LOVE your reviews! I haven’t had time to really watch this season, I tivo ’em but they just sit sadly on my list. Your recaps fill the void. I don’t feel like I’ve missed a thing.

  • purplerosz

    Good review post….I like the Real Housewives Of ATL show…I think their real. People tend to rehash and not let go, it’s the way of life.

  • erica

    Yes, this season has been kind of boring. Nene has toned down her antics a tad which is a yawn. Loving me some Dwight though. Already have names for his show:

    The world according to Dwight
    Dwight bringin the “dramer”
    Dwight the real Atlanta Diva

  • Rashida

    I don’t think that it is boring I just think that they are full of drama and they need to give it up I mean seriously! Give it up! And Lisa lost her house trying to restructure the loan because the house dropped like a million dollars in value she has another house which she owns and she is all right! We are in a recession!

  • Tara Sauvage

    Huh? i thought this was about bags.

  • Crystal Decanter

    Hi All!
    I am so up on thee fabness of real Housewives Hello!
    I really want to meet and greet D-wight – Atlanta’s finest entrepreneurial Homosexual and parte promotor xtraordianaire.
    He is so rico sauve.
    I have not seen a metallic sheen smoking jacket like that in a long t ime.
    He is HOT!
    I mean he smokes! Im sure he has his own special stash right up there with the breastesses.
    Wants melons gets full on pushedup busty melons.
    I must say I also hates bent candelsticks. Makes me cracked.
    I am thinking would be nice to have a white cracker counterpart to Ms. Dwight. I could be her twin.
    You could call us Twin Peaks. We could time our highs together.
    ON a side note! You go She buy she re!
    many thanks,

  • Matthew

    I’m just now catching up on season two of the RHoA train wreck, but I can’t believe no one has said anything about that ridiculous “toning” thing Kim went to get done at the dermatologist’s office. She spent $3,000 (?) on it and it’s a complete farce!

    It reminded me of an episode of 1,000 Ways to Die , where some girl dies while getting acupuncture because she falls of the table and one of the needles punctures her heart. It’s like natural selection, and I’m not sure Kim is smart enough to stay on this planet for much longer…