True confession: I stopped watching Real Housewives of Atlanta halfway through last night in order to watch college football. But I feel like that was okay, since the particular game that I was watching took place in Atlanta. A Housewife could have been there! Although, let’s be honest, none of these women seem like they have any blood relatives that are smart enough to get into Georgia Tech. I watched the game anyway.

But through the magic of OnDemand and my cable box, we have a recap anyway! And how appropriate of Bravo: as Fashion Week opens in New York City, we get a fashion show of our own. She by Sheree? No! It’s Lisa’s line, Closet Freak, which apparently got thrown together so quickly that it’ll make a Project Runway designer’s head spin.

And the other Housewives had other things to deal with. Nene has a deadbeat son, Kim has the desire to own a wig line (which I find problematic in and of itself), and Sheree had a rage blackout and missed Lisa’s entire show. And Kandi? Well Kandi still has That Triflin’ Fiance and Kim’s friendship, so that’s bound to not work out particularly well for her.

First we see Lisa primping and preparing for her runway show, and it occurs to me that it’s kind of odd that she’s feeling stressed out. She didn’t design the clothes, or create them, and she certainly didn’t have to build the runway (which was tacky, Dwight was right, more on that later). So…she turned in her guest list? Seating chart? Bueller? What’s the big deal? Maybe we’ll find out later.

Next, Nene. Nene’s son that went to college in the first season of the show is no longer partaking in such haughty pursuits, and as best as anyone can figure, he’s eating, sleeping, and helping run a once-a-week party at a club, from which he must split the door profits with “a thousand people.” Which, in any language of youth with which I’m familiar, means that he knows the door guy and gets in free, but doesn’t actually run the thing. So don’t expect to see any of that cash, Nene. It ain’t there.

But Nene makes at least a cursory effort to get Bryson back on track. Not by re-enrolling him in classes at college, or helping him find a real job, but by calling Dwight and getting him a shave and some cornrows. Small steps, I suppose.

Speaking of kids: as anyone that’s been watching would expect, Kim’s idea of bonding with her youngest daughter is shopping and buying her kid whatever she would like, to the tune of $3000. Which is an issue, since Kim doesn’t have a job, and is rather evasive about whether or not Big Poppa is still writing her checks. For what it’s worth, I’ve heard that he is, so Kim’s professed desire to start a wig line and get a “real” job is…suspect at best. But who knew that Kim used to be a nurse and a waitress before Big Poppa? Somehow I bet she got a lot of orders wrong. I said no mayo!

But there’s no going back for Kim, who now must forge ahead and create wigs, as God intended her to. So she enlists her “transfantastic,” heel-wearing, Balenciaga-carrying (well, fake Balenciaga carrying. That bag ain’t real. Lining and handle length give it away) friend Derek J to start crafting “volumptuous” (the ‘m’ is Kim’s addition, natch) fake hair that will retail under her name for thousands of dollars. And because no one on this show can do anything without throwing a party for it, Kim has people over to see her very first wig creations.

And, quite honestly, I thought Kim’s little short bob wig looked FANTASTIC. Glue that thing to your head, Kim, it’s a keeper. Sadly, I think that’s probably the only time we’ll ever see it, since Kim’s taste is questionable at best (see: the dress she was wearing at the party. I thought a titty was going to try and escape). Of course, Nene just couldn’t resist putting on a big blonde wig and pretending she was Kim, which was funny at first but probably got a little out of hand, despite my undying love for Nene (and despite the fact that her impression was pretty much dead-on). Although Kim did make fun of Nene for making herself a small plate of the food that was put out FOR the party guests, so if I was Nene, I probably would have used the rest of my time at Kim’s house to be a giant a-hole as well.

And then there was Lisa’s fashion show. Were the clothes bad? Not as bad as I had expected, honestly, but not great. And although Dwight acted like a bit of a know-it-all, I thought his criticisms were correct. What was all the crap on the runway? Has Lisa never seen a real fashion show before? And the clothes didn’t look perfectly fitted and pressed, but these folks don’t seem like fashion show veterans, so maybe they’ll do better next time. It wasn’t as horrific as previously expected, though.

And Sheree, in a fit of jealously that Lisa had managed to pull off in two months what she hasn’t been able to do in two years, skipped the show because her son apparently had some sort of concert in the middle of the night (but really because her own fashion show had gotten canceled and she’s a hater). She eventually showed up for the after party, acted surprised that she couldn’t see the clothes, and then criticized the clothing of the party’s attendees while wearing an ugly, shiny hooded sweatshirt. None of the other Housewives inspire me to use profanity quite like Sheree, but we must think of the advertisers. Hi, advertisers! According to Andy Cohen, however, She by Sheree is scheduled to debut at New York Fashion Week on Sunday. As if Sheree needed any more ammunition for her delusions of grandeur…

I feel like we forgot someone…Kandi, I guess. What did she do in this episode? Well, she spent 30 seconds with a wedding planner ($10 says wedding will never happen, she’ll find a 5th baby mama and a 7th child hiding in his basement or something) and then talked with Don Vito, a producer, about getting “Tardy for the Party” off the ground. That’s it. Yawn.

Next week’s episode looks like it might be worth something, though. We’ve got male strippers, Kim crying over having to actually sing the song that she wanted to record, and what looks to be an epic amount of drunkenness and Kim being carried out of a party. Same bat time, same bat channel, folks.

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Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • Handbag Lover

    Very Funny … I thought the show was good last night. Kim ( I know, I might be the only one) is my favorite on the show. I love her style. I thought the time with her daughter was cute and fun. Her stylist, all I can say is bless his heart. At least her wig is looking much better than last season. Lisa’s line did not look that bad and the show was fair. I want Lisa to pick something to do and stick with it. She has all these businesses and nothing ever works out. It seems like Lisa has her eyes close and just pulls ideas out that never work, to see, which one will. I wonder does Ed ever put his foot down, it is okay to support but dang she wasting money. Sheree is a pure hater. She mad with the world over her situation (looks like she needs a “paycheck boo”) and looks a mess. For someone to have such great fashion (as she puts it) she is always in jeans and tees. To me anyone can buy name brand and put it together. That is why I like Kim so much, regardless of some of the stuff she does, the girl style game is on point. Sheree really needs to sit down and shut up. Nene was my girl but this season a bit much for me. I am sick of her mouth. Even though Dwight told the truth on the show I need him to remove those finger waves, please so out of style.

  • janis

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNZ6dZWrcpo thats the link of TARDY FOR THE PARTY. it doesnt sound like her at all. not horrible i suppose.
    i liked kim’s short wig too.
    how is sheree getting her stuff at ny fashion week!?!??!?!? HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!??

  • Michael St. James

    this episode was entertaining, but i can’t wait for kim to get drunk next week!


  • Courtney

    Love your “Real Housewives” reviews! They’re hilarious! Kim’s masterpiece, “Tardy for the Party” is actually available on iTunes now. I’m still waiting for “Tightrope”…it will always be my fave.
    I saw the Atlanta Housewives on Ellen the other day and noticed that Kandi wasn’t wearing her engagement ring. Maybe the wedding has been called off?

  • JenG

    Thanks for the commentary on the show. I fell asleep trying to watch it.

  • JenG

    According to interview Kandi gave in Essence magazine they are on hiatus.

  • PhotoGirl

    Oh thank heaven! Perhaps she’s come to her senses.

  • erica

    EVERYTHING Dwight said was correct!! And if I had him for a friend best believe I would have talked to him before putting on a fashion show like that. I’ve seen better shows at colleges!!

  • @fashionluvr

    jesus, look at the boob implants on the first lady.

    i dunno how anyone watches this

  • otter

    Ha ha ha. I got caught up this weekend. Classic Shiz by Sheree — love when she is fuming over Lisa’s tragic fashion show. Says “I love when I can inspire the unfashionable” or something like that. Ha ha. Throw that horse a sugar cube and some sweet tea because she needs to get sweet.

    I still loooooooove Nene. She is the Queen of Atlanta. If I were invited to that wig party, I would be thankful that Nene was there to provide some much needed entertainment. She can’t help it if that blonde wig inspired her. Shame on Kim for making comments about Nene grabbing some snacks. What the heck else was that food there for?

    As for Derek J and his torn shoulder sweatshirt — I have an urge to watch a Flashdance/Fame marathon. Love him, but he is much too fab to be sporting a fake bag. I needs to get his stylist card revoked for that one. SHAME.

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