PurseBloggers, I’m at my wit’s end with this show.
Why? Because Potato Face Nicolas won a challenge last week on Project Runway and that means that he had immunity this week, which means that even though he’s full of fail, he didn’t get eliminated. And we had a perfect chance to banish him from our TV screens forever this week, and the stupid immunity thing got in the way.
And furthermore, because the challenge sucked. There is no way to describe it except that. After two weeks of strong, interesting things for the designers to do, all they wanted from them during this challenge was cheap blue crap. Literally. They were supposed to design two all-blue outfits for the Macy’s INC brand, which is a line full of quasi-trendy pieces made for people that really like jersey and polyester (not gonna lie, I have a few of their pieces myself, but that doesn’t mean it’s something I want to spend an hour of my life watching on tv).
I find myself confused to even be writing this, because this show doesn’t matter until Nicolas is gone and we get can actually stop looking at his lumpy head and start watching the real designers go at it, but whatever. Meh. This whole season is MEH. THIS IS PROJECT MEH.
So this was another one of those things where the designers all pitched their ideas and the lady from Macy’s got to choose the team leaders, and then the leaders picked their helpers from among the losers. I hate these challenges on a structural level, and here’s why: it enables the crappy designers to fly below the radar and ride on the coattails of the designers that have already obviously been judged as being better.
Normally, though, I’d at least like a partner challenge on an entertaining television level, but that wasn’t even present. Irina still had her stank face and Nicolas still spent more time talking smack than actually contributing to anything and Shirin and Carol Hannah were still likable and everyone still wanted to bone Logan. So it was the same show we’ve seen over and over again already, but this time they had to make clothes that were far less interesting than any challenge we’ve had thus far. Event television, it’s not.
So the teams were as follows: Logan and Althea, Carol Hannah and Shirin, Christopher and Epperson, Irina and Gordana, and Louise and Nicolas. Althea and Logan were smack in the middle, so no need to talk about them.
Our top two teams were Irina/Gordana and Carol Hannah/Shirin. Irina and Gordana made a sundres with mitered stripes and a navy top and light blue floaty top with a darker straight skirt, and Carol Hannah and Shirin made a tunic with an interesting neckline and leggings and a high-waisted pencil skirt with a beautifully draped top. I hate Irina’s designs – the dress had a top that even made the model’s chest look saggy and flat, and it was a quadraboob disaster waiting to happen if it had been worn by anyone that wasn’t completely flat-chested. Also, it had no definitive waistline, meaning that it would look like a droopy-boobed sack on pretty much anyone that would ever wear it. The other look was kind of meh, as is the theme of this show. I really liked Carol Hannah and Shirin’s looks, and they looked like they would fit right in with the brand for which they were designing.
Which, naturally, meant that Irina and Gordana won. The judges loved – LOVED! – that striped dress that was completely unwearable by the average Macy’s customer, for some reason, and the Macy’s lady even pointed out exactly how much she loved the top. And the top was the worst part. AHHH. Am I taking crazy pills? I didn’t even enjoy this episode. At all. I was just irritated at the whole thing.
Speaking of irritation and frustration, the bottom two teams were Louise/Mr. Potato Head and Christopher/Epperson. Louis and Nicolas were just a tragedy of ruffles, and in his triumphant return, fake tanned diva Michael Kors told them that one looked like it had a shower loofah ruched up the front, which was EXACTLY what it looked like, actually.
And then there was Christopher and Epperson, and honestly, I didn’t hate their stuff that bad. If the teal tunic hadn’t had that weird lobster bib on it, it would have been quite pretty (and perfect for the brand, if you’ve ever seen their section at Macy’s), and the shirt dress would have been fine, if boring, if it hadn’t been shiny. But there’s the rub: it’s a boring challenge. Why give the designers this assignment if you want them to innovate? The pieces needed a bit of editing, but they weren’t atrocious.
Good thing for them, then, that Louise and Mr. Potato Head’s were. The entire time, Heidi had been saying that “one…OR MORE” designers would go home, and thankfully, they only eliminated Louise. Nicolas was spared ONLY because of his immunity, which is just one more reason that I hate that entire concept – they should stop giving it out. If you make the worst crap of the night, you deserve to go home.
I better stop before I have a rage blackout. It looks like everyone’s outfits are FUBAR next week, based on the judge’s commentary and all of their pained expression in the previews, but the previews lie. For example, they promised us a challenge that would turn Gordana’s hands blue this week, and now it looks like we don’t get to see that until next week. If I can even force myself to tune in by then.
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