Project Runway

PurseBloggers, I’m at my wit’s end with this show.

Why? Because Potato Face Nicolas won a challenge last week on Project Runway and that means that he had immunity this week, which means that even though he’s full of fail, he didn’t get eliminated. And we had a perfect chance to banish him from our TV screens forever this week, and the stupid immunity thing got in the way.

And furthermore, because the challenge sucked. There is no way to describe it except that. After two weeks of strong, interesting things for the designers to do, all they wanted from them during this challenge was cheap blue crap. Literally. They were supposed to design two all-blue outfits for the Macy’s INC brand, which is a line full of quasi-trendy pieces made for people that really like jersey and polyester (not gonna lie, I have a few of their pieces myself, but that doesn’t mean it’s something I want to spend an hour of my life watching on tv).

I find myself confused to even be writing this, because this show doesn’t matter until Nicolas is gone and we get can actually stop looking at his lumpy head and start watching the real designers go at it, but whatever. Meh. This whole season is MEH. THIS IS PROJECT MEH.

So this was another one of those things where the designers all pitched their ideas and the lady from Macy’s got to choose the team leaders, and then the leaders picked their helpers from among the losers. I hate these challenges on a structural level, and here’s why: it enables the crappy designers to fly below the radar and ride on the coattails of the designers that have already obviously been judged as being better.

Normally, though, I’d at least like a partner challenge on an entertaining television level, but that wasn’t even present. Irina still had her stank face and Nicolas still spent more time talking smack than actually contributing to anything and Shirin and Carol Hannah were still likable and everyone still wanted to bone Logan. So it was the same show we’ve seen over and over again already, but this time they had to make clothes that were far less interesting than any challenge we’ve had thus far. Event television, it’s not.

So the teams were as follows: Logan and Althea, Carol Hannah and Shirin, Christopher and Epperson, Irina and Gordana, and Louise and Nicolas. Althea and Logan were smack in the middle, so no need to talk about them.

Our top two teams were Irina/Gordana and Carol Hannah/Shirin. Irina and Gordana made a sundres with mitered stripes and a navy top and light blue floaty top with a darker straight skirt, and Carol Hannah and Shirin made a tunic with an interesting neckline and leggings and a high-waisted pencil skirt with a beautifully draped top. I hate Irina’s designs – the dress had a top that even made the model’s chest look saggy and flat, and it was a quadraboob disaster waiting to happen if it had been worn by anyone that wasn’t completely flat-chested. Also, it had no definitive waistline, meaning that it would look like a droopy-boobed sack on pretty much anyone that would ever wear it. The other look was kind of meh, as is the theme of this show. I really liked Carol Hannah and Shirin’s looks, and they looked like they would fit right in with the brand for which they were designing.

Which, naturally, meant that Irina and Gordana won. The judges loved – LOVED! – that striped dress that was completely unwearable by the average Macy’s customer, for some reason, and the Macy’s lady even pointed out exactly how much she loved the top. And the top was the worst part. AHHH. Am I taking crazy pills? I didn’t even enjoy this episode. At all. I was just irritated at the whole thing.

Speaking of irritation and frustration, the bottom two teams were Louise/Mr. Potato Head and Christopher/Epperson. Louis and Nicolas were just a tragedy of ruffles, and in his triumphant return, fake tanned diva Michael Kors told them that one looked like it had a shower loofah ruched up the front, which was EXACTLY what it looked like, actually.

And then there was Christopher and Epperson, and honestly, I didn’t hate their stuff that bad. If the teal tunic hadn’t had that weird lobster bib on it, it would have been quite pretty (and perfect for the brand, if you’ve ever seen their section at Macy’s), and the shirt dress would have been fine, if boring, if it hadn’t been shiny. But there’s the rub: it’s a boring challenge. Why give the designers this assignment if you want them to innovate? The pieces needed a bit of editing, but they weren’t atrocious.

Good thing for them, then, that Louise and Mr. Potato Head’s were. The entire time, Heidi had been saying that “one…OR MORE” designers would go home, and thankfully, they only eliminated Louise. Nicolas was spared ONLY because of his immunity, which is just one more reason that I hate that entire concept – they should stop giving it out. If you make the worst crap of the night, you deserve to go home.

I better stop before I have a rage blackout. It looks like everyone’s outfits are FUBAR next week, based on the judge’s commentary and all of their pained expression in the previews, but the previews lie. For example, they promised us a challenge that would turn Gordana’s hands blue this week, and now it looks like we don’t get to see that until next week. If I can even force myself to tune in by then.

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Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • BLynnT

    I completely agree that this week was BLAH. I really thought they were kidding when they said every team had to make TWO BLUE OUTFITS. Really? An all-blue runway show?
    And just like you, I have been ready to see Nicolas leave since day one. After watching his greasy hair, annoying voice and overestimation of his talents week after week, I actually groaned when he won last week, knowing that it would be two more weeks of his catty comments.
    And you are definitely right about Irina’s dress only being wearable for a model with no chest. I thought the same thing. And considering Heidi is usually all over criticizing the garments where the boobs don’t fall in the right place, I thought for sure a comment along that line was coming for this one… but it did not! Couldn’t believe it.
    Anyway, I will keep watching and hoping that Nicolas gets kicked off ASAP. Good recap (just one thing… it’s LouisE, not Louis)

  • HandbagReport

    I really enjoyed your PR commentary!!

  • Claire

    I couldn’t understand why Tim was giving Christopher and Epperson’s shirtdress such good feedback! I thought maybe *I* just wasn’t cool enough to get it! It looked awful!

  • Handbag Lover

    You are too funny to me! The shirt dress was nice, lose the shiny fabric, I would rock that sucka in a minute. I think it was a nice dress.

  • Megusi

    This season has been so disappointing to me. The challenges are very mundane, with the exception of the two prior to this one; I haven’t been wowed by any of the designers; and they keep picking winners I just can’t fathom winning. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one completely underwhelmed by the entire season.

    I was so glad in the first episode that they kept the same format. But I’m realizing now that it was much more than format that was going for it on Bravo. Did the producers just tone down the entire show to fit in with the more casual, less risky lifestyle of the housewife who watches lifetime? Ugh. Disappointment overload here.

  • tadpolenyc

    “Meh. This whole season is MEH. THIS IS PROJECT MEH.”

    HAHA! I second this emotion.

  • Ping

    Amanda I love reading your blog on this b/c you are so ON POINT! I also felt this season’s project runaway is blah (maybe it’s the same formula or maybe they don’t have someone standing out like Christian did last season –or was that two seasons ago…it’s all starting to blur together). I agree that this challenge was LAMO! and the “winning” look was so wrong. I agree that shirin’s team should have won. The winning dress is only ok if I was PREGNANT again, it even made the skinny model look big:((((
    i was actually planning to tune out this wk’s show b/c it’s so not interesting anymore …keep up the good work!

  • Barb

    You are so right, Amanda! My thoughts, while watching this episode were boring Macy’s clothes. Then to have the designers all whine how hard designing blue clothing was just annoying. and to top it all off, you have a designer (nickolas) whose design wasn’t picked trying to change the original design which was picked by the Macy’s lady. If your design ideas was so good, you would have been picked to be a team leader!

  • The Girl in Grey

    Some of the outfits made that the judges thought were good, I just wanted to puke at.

  • Van

    Agree that this challenged sucked. I was really hoping that they would reneged on Nicolas’ immunity and kick him off, b/c he did absolutely nothing, design-wise. But really glad to see Michael Kors back as judge (where has he been anyway?!). His shower loofah comment was HILARIOUS! And his “disco pumpkin” & “lobster bib” comment! I love Michael Kors!

  • Rashida

    I liked the shirt dress honestly it looked well made I think the judges was just being mean I think the winning design was crap I think the Second place team should have won and lol this season is a bit drab lol

  • Steven L. Kidder

    I think I love you!!! You completely made mt dat @ 11:40 pm!!

    I completely agree with you 100%!!!!!!!!!!

  • cathy

    I am SO GLAD someone else thought Irina’s dress was disgusting. I saw that come out and the neckline made me shiver … I was staring in shock when the Macy’s lady talked about how much she liked it. Say what?

    On a similar note, I loved how Christopher and Epperson were really into themselves, saying that their outfits would definitely get in the top. Yeah, it could have used editing, but I’m trying to imagine a world where teal charmeuse and blue pinstripe prove to be unifying and cohesive. Ruffles are not the answer o_O

  • popita

    Good post!! I think the episode was headed for disaster after the Macy’s lady picked her favorite choices. Gag. I would have been really interested in seeing some of the other designers’ designs. Irina really made her way onto my DISLIKE list after that episode. Her dress was absolutely hideous from the back since it just flowed outwards from the armpit. I actually really liked the shirt dress, it was totally appropriate for work (minus the shiny). Oh well!! Glad this round eliminated boring Louise though. Her ideas are good but she’s more vintage, and I don’t think this is a good show for her.

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