So, here we are again. It’s a familiar place. This week on Project Runway, we had another challenge in which our designers were asked to take some money and buy some fabric and make an outfit. Yawn. Where are the corn husks and car parts and recycled water bottles of seasons past? All of these people should be able to make perfectly serviceable outfits out of $150 worth of fabric.
Or you would think so, at least. But because this season is full of fail, that’s not the case. What the designers were asked to do – make an outfit based on a popular vacation destination – was reasonable and also ridiculously easy, but still, some people failed. At least this week, it was the usual suspects. The thinning of the heard continues, as does Irina’s insistence on making me want to punch her in the throat.
And I hated her even more this episode because she did well, and I want to see her fall on her stank face (seriously, she ALWAYS looks like she just smelled a particularly heinous fart.) Michael Kors (who was the guest designer that they met with this week, which was silly since he’s on the show’s cast, he’s not a guest) charged the designers with making outfits based on locations around the world that have inspired his own line. Tim Gunn pulled the designers’ names from the Velvet Bag of Choosing and they chose their places, all with very obvious aesthetics that should have been easy to design around.
But some of these people can’t even make a decent outfit when the inspiration is LITERALLY handed to them, so what should have been easy actually went pretty badly. As I mentioned, however, Irina was in our top three, as were Carol Hannah and Gordana. Gordana chose New York City, so she made a little grey cocktail dress that was quite cute, except for the bejeweled neck piece, which was not cute, it was FABULOUS. I must have one IMMEDIATELY. In necklace form. Please and thank you. The rest of the dress was a bit meh, but the necklace won me over immediately. If anyone knows of a similar one that I can order on the internet somewhere, LINK ME, PLEASE.
Carol Hannah chose Palm Beach (which I always get mixed up with Palm Springs, so I was a little confused for most of the episode, I was expecting a golf outfit) and made a very pretty patterned maxi dress. Irina had chosen Aspen, so she made a poop-colored ensemble with pants, a sweater with an enormous cowl neck, and a faux fur vest.
And I hate myself for saying this, and I hate Irina even more for making me say it, but Irina was the obvious winner here and was rightfully recognized by the judges. The 80s are all the rage right now, and her outfit was a total 80s aprÃ©s ski moment. It obviously fit her destination and was reasonably well-executed. So, another one goes to that woman.
I think a lot of her success was because she chose her location well, however – cold weather clothing is much more textured and interesting than that of warm weather, and a vacation destination has a much more obvious look than a city (although I would have loved it if Gordana had taken the opportunity to do a glam-grunge 80s NYC club look, a la Marc Jacobs Fall 2009).
But as is always the case this season, we also had several woefully terrible outfits. Logan made jeans, a tank top, and a vest, but his destination was Hollywood, and for some reason that’s all he could come up with. He should have at least tried for some Olsen Twin Derelicte insanity or SOMETHING. But boringness is not the same as terribleness, so he’s still around, despite his astonishingly obvious mediocrity.
Our bottom two were designers that are familiar with the position: Nicolas and Christopher. Which is too bad, because I was just starting to LIKE Nicolas. Since Irina became the obvious villain, Nicolas has been getting a much kinder edit. His assignment was to make a Greek outfit and he didn’t make anything remotely Grecian, which he admitted, and I kind of respect him for so directly rejecting the premise of such a thoroughly lame challenge. Which is not to say I liked his outfit – the top was kind of interesting, but the pants were kind of odd and not particularly flattering.
And then there was Chris, who had Santa Fe, and whose outfit I didn’t hate quite as much as the judges apparently did. In the workroom, it looked like the prairie dresses that those weird polygamist sects that live out in the middle of nowhere force their women to wear, but he had an epiphany and hacked the floor-length skirt into a mini, which was a moment of clarity that he really needed to have. His color scheme wasn’t one that I would wear, but it definitely reminded me of New Mexico, although the judges didn’t agree. Everyone DID think that the leather belt he made was cool, though, and as it turned out, that’s probably what saved him.
Yes, that’s right, Nicolas was the one that went home, just when he was starting to be kind of likable. Too bad, too. I don’t think he was right for this competition, but Christopher has been so horrendously bad for the past several challenges that I felt fairly certain that he would be the one to be auf’d.
And if there’s one person I wish WASN’T leaving, it’s guest judge Milla Jovovich. I loved her! She was insightful and snarky and got all sad when Nicolas left. Plus, I wore a Jovovich-Hawk dress to my college graduation and got lots of compliments! I would be totally willing to trade Heidi for her.
I don’t remember what happened in the previews for next week, honestly. Well, except for that Althea says that she hates Logan because he steals her collar from the Bob Mackie challenge, so, fine. That happens. Maybe they’ll get rid of Logan next. He needs to go, as does Christopher.
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