I’m sober this week. Huzzah! Because there is absolutely, positively no way to take in this week’s challenge except absolutely clear-minded. Because….drag queens! Chris March! Fabulous, spangly, larger-than-life costumes dunked in glitter! I may do a cartwheel in the middle of my living room, I tell you. That’s how excited I am about this week. This is the week that could potentially redeem the entire season, the week that I may actually walk up to my TV and hug it. So does it make up for the crap we’ve seen so far?

The first thing that I have to say is that the amount of hairspray and eye makeup and other chemical products used on the this episode may have been large enough to wear it’s own hole in the ozone layer, so put some sunscreen on before you watch, honey.

Here’s where I’ve got to be honest – I missed the part of the show where they consulted with the drag queens. But I had a good reason. I was on the phone trying to buy some University of Georgia football tickets, and I had to be the first to call, and normally you have to donate more than $10,000 to the university to buy tickets as a non-student, so obviously this was important, because the tickets only cost me $270 for the season. The one thing I love more than Project Runway is UGA football.

Moving on!

As I understand things, there weren’t any additional complications to this challenge – drag queen costumes are easily entertainment enough (and RuPaul is the guest judge – yay! Amazing! Although I would have loved to see Chris March judge as well).

So let’s cut to the chase – who sucked, and who didn’t?

Jerell’s getup looks like some sort of costume for a queen in a bad, bad sci-fi movie. Like, straight-to-dvd bad. But the fact that Michael Kors called it a “good bar mitzvah moment” made its existence worth it, because occasionally Mr. Kors does indeed bring the funny.

Daniel…oh, Daniel. If only you hadn’t peaked with Blue Cup Dress. Because, at this point, it’s apparent that you did. Your dress is…a dress. Brightly colored as it may be, it’s not drag-queen-fabulous. And you gets this obnoxious face and whiny voice on you when you’re criticized, and apparently don’t understand that drag queens are SUPPOSED TO BE TACKY. HELLO.

And Blayne…sigh. Blayne has found yet another way to creep me out – first it was the weird staring at Kenley, and this week it was with some sort of pink meshy fabric pulled tight over his head like he was trying to rob a gay convenience store. Alternately, Tim Gunn calling Blayne’s outfit a “pterodactyl out of a gay ‘Jurassic Park'” is perhaps the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard, not least of all because it’s totally true. That thing had WINGS. But I’m kinda ok with that, you know? It’s a drag queen challenge. Give that ho some wings if you want. Except one wing was falling half off. Oops.

Korto, I love. Love love. I haven’t hated a single thing she’s made all season, and most of it I have really liked. This week was no different – her red sequin outfit was flashy, fabulous, and really well executed. Plus, her queen was totally hating on the other designers’ outfits (especially Kenley’s totally obvious silver sequins), and there’s nothing this girl loves more than a good old-fashioned gossip session.

Straight Guy Joe did well again this week, and his queen looked amazing in her shiny pink sailor suit. The behind on that girl! And she also looked like she was absolutely loving it (as did Suede’s model), which can sometimes make amends for a multitude of sins. There weren’t really many to make up for, though – who knew that a straight guy from Detroit would make such fabulous dragwear?

Terri is another high performer this week, and I think she did an amazing job making her outfit avant garde enough for her the very edgy type of queen that she had. From what I understood, she matched her aesthetic perfectly. Even if I didn’t know anything about the client, I would understand exactly what she was about just from looking at her. Terri was my favorite this week, easily, but she was not the winner.

Speaking of Terri, she made a lot of fun of Keith’s outfit full of layered crap (but…isn’t that all of Keith’s outfits?), saying it looked like a Wookie. I’m not sure that I’m reading ‘Wookie’ on it, but I am sick of Keith’s schtick and all of his unhemmed messiness. And he’s not as whiney as Daniel, but still, kinda annoying. I say get rid of the both of them this week. And I got half of my wish – Daniel is gone, and my dream of the recreation of Blue Cup Dress is dead forever.

So he got auf’ed, but who won? Straight Guy Joe, in the challenge of all challenges that I would bet that he would screw up. Seriously, the straight guy blowing the drag challenge, that sounds like a safe bet, right? Well, wrong. He wasn’t my number one favorite of the week, but his costume was undeniably brilliant and made his queen look super feminine and really fun.

I loved this episode, though, because no one did anything absolutely, eye-gougingly terrible (well, I mean, it was all terrible in a drag sort of way, but that’s the point!) and they all seemed to be having FUN making their garments (well, except maybe for Suede and the sleeve incident. But, you know, there’s always one). Tim Gunn seems to be turning into a slight caricature of himself, which is too bad, because he’s such a lovable mensch. All in all though, it kind of made me believe in the little show that could again, and I always love some warm fuzzies.

And next week…Bad Mommy is BA-ACK! Laura Bennett (coincidently, also the name of my middle school bestie) from season 3 guests for reasons that aren’t quite apparent from the previews, but I don’t care, because she’s easily one of my very favorites.

See you next week!

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