And now, ladies and gentleman (well, mostly ladies), we have Round 2 in Project Runway: Season Swan Song (because after this, it moves to Lifetime to die a slow, painful death in front of sad, middle-aged women with middle-of-the-road ladymag Marie Claire replacing Elle). So what are we in for this week? Will Stella go in to leather (or meth) withdrawl? Does Tim Gunn really say “Holla at ya boy” like in the previews? Will Blayne’s (or however he spells it) head explode from his own sheer annoyingness? Will Suede continue to refer to himself in the third person (ok, so that one is pretty much a lock)?
And their models are doing the shopping for them…..
A nice, fitting punishment for them all after almost every one of them copped out with the TABLECLOTHS last week, despite the fact that Alpha Gay Austin Scarlett and his previous win should have made it obvious that they would be rewarded for using more difficult materials.
A quick note: how did I not notice Wesley last week? He is ADORABLE. I want one of him for my very own. But I don’t want him to make me any clothes, because his brown satin dress is, uh, not cute. And he gets kicked off for it, which is very sad, because that means I don’t get to see him in seersucker and docksiders anymore, and there’s not enough of that on TV.
Moving on. I’m excited that there’s no immunity tonight, because I think immunity is kind of BS. If you make a crap dress, you go home, and the dress you made last week can’t possibly be good enough to make up for it (unless it’s the Chris March/Christian Siriano couture dress from last year, and then your dress is pretty much good enough to make you a deity).
There are a few more twists: all of the clothes are ‘green,’ meaning earth-friendly, which I like. Also, the guest judge is Natalie Portman, which I don’t like, because she annoys the ever-loving poo out of me as a meat-eater and leather-lover. But I digress.
The cocktail dresses for this week are, uh, uninspiring. And what is with all the crotch-huggers? I’m not sure if it’s a function of the models not buying enough fabric or our designers having questionable taste, but a huge number of the dresses are FAR too short. Stella is one length offender, but she managed to make a dress out of something other than leather that wasn’t completely offensive, so we’ll consider that to be a win for her.
And then this? THIS is where Amanda gets ANGRY. Because Suede and his SPASTIC MULTICOLORED TUTU WON THE FREAKIN’ CHALLENGE, AND MEGS WON’T LET ME CUSS, BUT IF SHE WOULD LET ME, THIS IS WHERE I WOULD. It looked like BETSEY JOHNSON ON CRACK. Which is saying a lot, because most all of Betsey’s clothes already look drug-induced.
I’m going to try to be calm for a second here…not only was that dress atrocious, but there were at least a few that were obviously better. Daniel, of Blue Cup Dress fame, made a lovely empire waist dress of black satin that was adorable, and retro chick Kenley made what I thought was the clear winner of the night – a high-collared, organic champaign silk column dress that absolutely fit her model like a glove.
But…crazy tutu dress. Crazy TUTU DRESS.
I need a drink.
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