I’M BA-ACK! I’m minus two tonsils, five post-surgery pounds, and a week of my life, but I have returned triumphant to do one of my absolute favorite things: make fun of a truly horrific Versace bag.

It’s almost as though the universe placed the galacticly awful Versace Scream Shopper on Nordstrom‘s website to welcome me back to the land of the living – It’s been quite a while since Donatella & Co. have provided us with a bag so thoroughly worthy of ridicule. When pitched such a softball, I can only hope to hit it out of the park. Won’t you join me?


Can someone call Donatella and tell her that putting out crap like this is why her company is failing? Does she not realize that? How could it not be obvious? Am I taking crazy pills?

That a company could put out a bag made of mismatched patterned leather, acid yellow trim and baseball stitching and expect people to spend well north of three grand on it absolutely boggles the mind. The people that made this bag live on a different planet from the rest of us, and it’s not a place that I hope to visit. Ever. It probably smells like Axe body spray mixed with fake tan. I’d say that this bag looked like a Junior’s Department nightmare, but really, it might be uglier than that.

On the other hand…has ever a bag been so aptly named?

  • Victoria

    WELL, at least they got the name right :) welcome back!

  • Leslie

    I didn’t think this bag was truly hideous until I saw the studding. So incredibly overpriced.

  • 19yearslater

    Scream is right, looking at that bag makes me scream. I would only use that bag if someone paid me to, never pay myself.

  • Mochababe73

    I actually like it, but the spikes would have to go. Worn with the right outfit, like solid black, it would work. I guess that I am one of those that lives on a different planet.

    • Stacy

      Moachababe – I’m with you on this one. I would really like this bag if the spikes were removed. The colors are interesting and I do like the pattern as well.

      • Mochababe73

        I saw the black and white version as well. It’s even nicer than this one.

  • cge

    Oh God we’re glad you’re back in the land of the living, as I for one truly missed your biting wit!! I think this bag was Heaven-sent just to jolt you back from your terrible week. There are no words that I could possibly add to your bang-on critique of this hideous piece of work!

  • Chris

    This bag is extremely ugly. It is all over the place. There was no editing before it was put on the shelves. At least they got the name right.
    Oh, and welcome back, Amanda.

    • Flight of Stairs

      Agreed that it needed much more work before put on the market.

  • Nyzinga

    Welcome back, Amanda, and candidly, this bag gave me a good laugh. I am afraid if I ever saw some poor woman carrying this overpriced bag I would feel very sorry for her.

  • FrannyGlass

    THAT is $3395 ???

  • katiara

    I believe that one created 3 different designers and all of them were blind ((:

  • Purse Pixie

    Amen to everything you said. That is awful.

  • csm

    It’s pretty hideous. What were they thinking??????????????? And then they want $3K+. NO WAY.

  • Empress

    WELCOME BACK AMANDA! Hope you are feeling better!

    This bag is migraine inducing. Seriously. If I look at it any longer, I may lose my sight.

  • Dawne Strehl

    That’s a horrible (whatever it is?)

  • denim53

    Welcome back, Amanda. I hope the painkillers made it easier to look at this bag. :)

    • Loquita

      Couldn’t have said it better myself!

      I have yet to see a Versace bag that is not flat-out hideous and that does not simultaneously insult my intelligence due to it price.

      • Ping

        Believe it or not, Versace used to have some amazing bags. I personally own several Versace bags that goes back almost 15 years and every time I use it, people not only complement them but also ask where they can get it. One was a unique python, another was a black/white weaved boston bag. That said, the last few years, I’m not sure what Donatella is on because the bags are bizarre and some are just downright fugly! (remember the blue and pink rabbit fur atrocities?- they were as awful in real life as in pictures). For some reason, i’m not completely turned off by this bag, next to a black dress, the colors can actually work. One thing for sure, this bag is not boring as so many so call designer bags since they are all copies of one of another.

  • Cheryl

    Way over priced for such a loud bag. Not on my wish list!!

  • Nata

    I would like the total craziness of this bag a bit more if it was fabric, not leather. On a close look, it looks almost like plastic.
    Obviously, the price makes it worse.

  • Julie

    Cheap and NAAASTY. Welcome back Amanda.

  • Jane

    Welcome back I missed your writing and wit. I couldn’t agree with you more on this bag. I love the color combination I wish it was used a little differently.

  • Belle

    Crazy, crazy, crazy.

  • hect

    and versace keeps sinking i have no words its like a bad crash between a lichtenstien and warhol not good !! not good at all !!!

  • otter

    OK, as Dwight would say — how dreaaaaaaaadful.

  • MAX

    It should be named Run (a)Way bag. For the style and overprice, I won’t even think of seeing it in person. for $ 3000 i can get LV great great style and better materials. I think if Versace let U guys design the bags they’ll be a whole lot better than this out of the world bag.

  • Merve

    Run screaming as far away from it as you can. Welcome back Amanda…hope u are feeling better. I missed yr witty posts too.

  • Urooj

    Oh my goodness and there’s studding too
    The SHAPE has potential..everything else is oozing with ridiculousness

  • speaking of…

    OMG! It’s the bag version of Donnatella Versace- leather tan skin and horrible plastic surgery included…I wouldn’t touch this bag with a ten foot pole! And for three grand I could probably get a pair of louboutins and a Louis V. that looks wayy better than this hot mess…

    Gianni Versace I know for sure is rolling in his fabolous grave with this one..someone throw that woman out and bring some talent in PLEASE!!

  • anonymous

    They have a leather version of this bag on Saks, and it’s half the price, but almost just as bad.

  • MAX

    OMG u guys ae so funny. I love how people can express that opinion freely without being called bad or other things like other blogs LUV LUV LUV

  • Karin bag4bag

    I USUALLY like purple bags BUT I just can’t with this one!!! In art class colors on opposing sides of the color wheel are good to use together as they create drama and attention, BUT not this sort of attention. Why add studs? Why add woven handles? It looks like some of the graffiti I would scribble on my art folder, and even then I wouldn’t have chosen those colors…To be generous maybe this purple, black and white design on a different shape, just lose the yellow!

  • ShoeQueen1961

    Smells like AXE body spray mixed with a fake tan!!! I just love your wording… This thing looks like Medusa regurgitated all over it…

  • caroilna

    This bag is ugly,and the price please. I don’t think so ha ha ha.

  • Elyse

    I like the colors but I hate the bag. It’s just a hot mess and not in a good way (fb)

  • Adrienne zedella

    well?? fb

  • Joy

    agreed with elyse
    like the colors! they are some of my fav! but not the bag.. at all (fb)

  • read and laugh

    I have been reading Mrs Amanda ‘s comment for a while, because I am a admire of Versace, their shoes , clothes, BAGS. I am amazed that how tasteless “Amanda” is . But I have my own conclusion. Versace is really a fun and sexy brand. And old hags with hideous body and serious dull mind won’t never in a million years learn to appreciate that.