Totes

There are parts of the Sonia Rykiel Emma Crystal-Embellished Tote that I like, and then there are the parts that I don’t. I usually have a bit of both with all the bags that I review, but the dichotomy between what I love and what I hate with this one is so huge that I’ve got to split this one in to two parts. First, the things I like. I like the shape of the bag. An easy-to-carry satchel that’s not too big or too small. It’s got a frame up top to give it some structure, but it still doesn’t look like it would be too heavy. The color is nice – not too light or pink that it looks like a pastel, but still light enough to be an interesting neutral. The leather looks soft. I like the closure.

And now, what I don’t like. Care to guess? All the crap stuck on the front. I can kind of see where they’re going with it, but I don’t think they quite got there. Maybe the crystals and studs vary too greatly in size and shape, I’m not sure, but I don’t like the end result. It looks a little too craft-project for me, and I know Sonia Rykiel likes to do her own thing with the adornment of her bags, but this just isn’t quite right. Also, the handles are too long. But mostly it’s the art store bedazzling on the front. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $2450.

Sometimes, bags are functional – they carry all of your stuff to and from work or school, they give you a place to put things so you don’t lose them, and they compliment your outfit. Sometimes, though, bags can be a statement – that you’re a fan of a certain aesthetic, that you are of a certain socioeconomic status, or that you have a particular personality that you’d like to express to others. And then there are those bags that are purely there to show other fashion people just how “in the know” you are. I think that’s the case with the Comme des Garcons Cowhide Tote, which is stamped with the edgy, ultra-cool line’s signature clover pattern. The only people that will know it’s cool are the other extremely fashionable people, and if that’s the image you want to project, then something like this is the bag for you. If that’s not your main concern, then this is just another boring-shaped black leather tote, and you could get some with more of a “design” to it for the same price. Just depends on what part of yourself you’re trying to put out there, I suppose. Buy through Saks for $515.

Things like the Bottega Veneta Sardegna Adjustable Tote make me a little angry. There are a few reasons why. First, I like Bottega Veneta. I don’t want to have to talk badly about them. I think that they generally make beautiful, understated, well-crafted bags that are functional and fit in to the lives of a lot of different women. So them making a bag that forces me to say not-nice things makes me angry. Second, canvas tote bags that cost more than $800 make me angry. I don’t care how nice the handles are.

The handles should be plated in GOLD to justify that price tag. At least Louis Vuitton has the decency to coat their canvas and turn it into a new (and super-durable) material. This just looks looks like regular canvas (Saks calls it “bright” but then calls it “ash.” Isn’t that a contradiction?) with a too-fancy handle, and stuff like that always makes me feel like a brand is trying to take advantage of its customers in a really obvious way. And that’s kind of crappy, right? Buy through Saks for $820.

I’ve never been an overwhelming fan of Dior handbags, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because a lot of them are structured and I like slouch, maybe it’s just because I can’t afford them and therefore convince myself I don’t like them. Who knows? But I do know that Dior almost, ALMOST has me on board with the Dior Le Trente Drawstring Tote.

It’s slouchy. It’s ruffly. It has chain handles. The leather looks super soft and touchable. But something is bothering me just a bit…too many ruffles? It might be the handles…do they seem a tad too close together to anyone else? I think that is the problem I’m having – when handles are set that close, it’s really hard swing a bag over your shoulder. Also, they don’t seem to coordinate with the proportion of the bag – it’s an east/west style, yet the handles are constructed like they’re for a north/south tote. If each side was just set an inch and a half closer to the outer edges of the bag, this one might be perfect. As it stands, it’s still pretty cool. Anyone seen us it in person that can comment? Buy through Saks for $1950.

I don’t think I was a particularly dramatic teenager, as far as teenagers go (feel free to correct me in the comments, mom). I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t sneak out to see boys. I was captain of the debate team. But you know what I did just now, at 23 years of age? I totally just did the dramatic teenage sigh-and-eye-roll when I saw the Donna Karan Metallic East West Tote. Why? Because it’s terrible and they want to charge everyone over a thousand dollars to have it.

The proportions are bad – really bad. You could possibly carry a very small, rolled-up yoga mat in it. What we have here is a ton of width with no depth to balance it. And the outside of the bag is just kinda plain. It’s lambskin, so that’s a plus, but there’s no visual interest at all. The way the handles are attached is boring, it has a little tag hanging from it, and it has two seams. Aaaaand…that’s it. I fail to see why it merits a price tag upwards of a grand, particularly since Donna Karan isn’t exactly an icon in the handbag marketplace and probably can’t rely on a gaggle of super devoted fans that will buy any bag she puts out. So unless you have a super tiny yoga mat that needs toting, I wouldn’t recommend this particular purse. Buy through Saks for $1095.

I have a slight bias towards Pucci bags ever since I found out that Emilio Pucci apparently has some sort of graduate degree from my alma mater, The University of Georgia. I can’t remember what the degree was in, but the idea that such a fashion icon matriculated in Athens for a few years is enough to make give even his company’s non-awesome ideas the benefit of the doubt. Which is just what I did with the Emilio Pucci Alessandro Terry Bag.

I’m generally one for bold and colorful patterns anyway, which makes me a perennial Pucci fan, and the blues and purples in this one are speaking it me. It would be a great beach bag, or as an airplane carry-on, you’d always know which one was yours in the overhead bin. Flat handles mean it would be comfortable to carry and terrycloth is light as a feather. But I looked at it again, and I realized something I didn’t like: it’s a $761 beach bag. Any situation that it would be suited for would make it sandy, wet, dirty, or abused in some way, and I’m not sure that any bag that costs that much would be something I’d use for those things. And I’m also not sure if I’d pay more than $200 for a bag made out of terrycloth, if even that much. Buy through eLuxury for $761.

Every now and then, I have a visceral reaction to a bag. Sometimes it’s a grimace, sometimes it’s a smile, and this time, with the Pierre Hardy Neoprene and Patent Tote, it was an exclamation of “YES!” and then some contemplation as to why exactly I had that reaction to begin with. Maybe it’s because the bag is just so freakin’ geometric and architectural – the lines are incredibly clean, and it’s made out of materials that lend themselves to precision. The hot pink section of the bag is neoprene, which I believe is the material used to make wetsuits, and the black trim is patent leather. In an odd way, this is hitting me as a good beach bag, although I highly doubt it is intended to serve that purpose. But with the neoprene, why the heck not? It’s so enormous and neon that I have no idea where else or for what other purpose I’d wear it, but for some reason, I love it. It’s just so NEON. So completely, unapologetically neon. It’d be one of those bags that I’d be completely thrilled and excited to buy, and then wear twice, because there are really only two places I could wear it. I’m not entirely sure where those places are, but I’m sure there are at least two. It hasn’t hit stores yet, so I don’t have any pricing information for you, but odds are it’ll be prohibitive for a bag made out of a wetsuit, no matter how fabulous that bag is.

Style.com Accessories Report

Sometimes you want a dainty, understated bag. Sometimes you want something delicate or subtle that won’t draw too much attention. And then, other times, you just want a big ol’ shiny animal skin behemoth of a bag. For those times, consider the Ted Rossi Python Shoulder Bag. Hardware? None. Pockets? It doesn’t have any of those either. What it does have, however, is several square feet of of black python skin with a great shine to it – almost patent, but without the thick texture that often comes with it. The snakeskin still looks supple and textured like a natural skin should, and the addition of a bit of metallic draws the eye even more to the differentiation between every scale. If you’re going to own a python bag, after all, you might as well own one that makes everyone go, “Hey, look how awesome that enormous, shiny python bag is!” On the practical side, I imagine it’d hold everything you could want to carry around on an average day (and probably more) and be super comfy to wear – python is notoriously light as a feather, and the wide straps would distribute the weight of all your loot evenly on your shoulder. So, what are you waiting for? Buy through Singer 22 for $2495.

Canvas: how much are we willing to pay for it? I found myself wondering that when I saw the Lanvin Gourmet 22 Faubourg Tote today. My initial reaction was that it was adorable and French in a wonderful way, and that it would be great with a white top and jeans. My second reaction was, “It’s $680. What is it made out of? Oh, canvas. Nevermind.” But then I thought again, because don’t tons of handbag enthusiasts spend tons of money on Louis Vuitton canvas bags every year? Net-a-porter’s description indicates that this canvas bag is treated, and while it pay not be as durable as Louis Vuitton canvas (because, after all, what is?), how do we decide what’s an acceptable amount to pay for a bag that’s not leather? Does the brand matter? Does Louis Vuitton’s canvas get a pass because of its history or status? I’m not sure how to answer these questions, but I do know that I wish Lanvin’s adorable tote was a little less expensive. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $680.

The first thing I like about the Alexander McQueen Elvie Patent Leather Tote is its name. Elvie. That’s adorable, right? It’s playful and British-sounding and maybe something Sir Bob Geldof would name a kid (he did, after all, choose Peaches and Pixie in the past). And the bag itself doesn’t disappoint either – in whimsicle grass-green patent leather, all I can see when I look at it is springtime. But let’s talk a bit about the construction, because that’s also a big part of this bag and is done very well. McQueen has managed to take patent leather – a material that is inherently stiff, firm, and difficult to work with – and made it look like it was easily draped over this bag’s frame. A difficult task indeed, and when you add in the bag’s cute, bright lining and ability to work as a “bright neutral,” Elvie is a big winner. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $2160.